CoN 25th Anniversary: 1997-2022
FF VII in four short paragraphs
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Posted: 21st August 2006 18:42
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  Posts: 13 Joined: 15/8/2006 Awards: 
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FFVII: it's about the world getting owned by an evil corporation, the good guys trying to stop it, and everyone getting SEPHIROTHFROMNOWHERE'D. then they all do the happy dance or something. oh and some girl dies. thats all the summary anyone will ever need.
Advent Children: some random sephiroth looking guys kidnap children. guess they want to be like Micheal Jackson. clouds on a motorcycle. Vincent pwns. then cloud gets SEPHIROTHFROMNOWHERE'D again. oh, and there are some special effects to. Dirge of Cerberus: Vincent Valentine kicks some more ass. enough said. that said, the entire VII series is about Vincent kicking ass. good day. -------------------- What do you get when Kefka kills X-Death, absorbs the power of the void, and enslaves Zeromus? NEO-KEFKA, LORD OF HATRED! |
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Post #128972
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Posted: 21st August 2006 18:54
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I missed the part of that brilliant post where you put a point in.
-------------------- "To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN? |
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Post #128973
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Posted: 21st August 2006 19:10
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  Posts: 2,336 Joined: 1/3/2004 Awards:    
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I want the minute of my life back that I utterly wasted reading this drivel.
Posting to vent my frustration at having read it offsets the anger... but only somewhat. -------------------- Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them. ~Pacifist Badge, 1978 |
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Post #128976
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Posted: 21st August 2006 20:21
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I'm pretty sure I can find two other "short version" renditions of FFVII.
*digs* Well, there was one on the Starnik's Station site, which was one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen, as suggested by the following sample: Quote Possible spoilers: highlight to view *meteor strikes* Red XIII: Hot damn, I should've brought my camcorder. This would make an excellent feature on Pay-Per-View. Of course, that's where I learned the phrase "hot damn" (from which I subsequently derived "cold damn"). But that one's gone from the internet, unfortunately--the only backup of SS that still existed is no longer in service. And the other one I dug up ( http://www.fiveminute.net/videogames/ ) doesn't actually have FFVII, unfortunately. But I will second your summary of FFVII, Neo-Kefka. Especially the SEPHIROTHFROMNOWHERE'D part, because I'm a huge fan of Teen Girl Squad. {in background} This post has been edited by Glenn Magus Harvey on 21st August 2006 20:23 -------------------- Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing. You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey ) |
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Post #128981
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Posted: 22nd August 2006 15:40
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  Posts: 407 Joined: 25/6/2006 Awards:
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Quote (Neo-Kefka @ 21st August 2006 18:42) FFVII: it's about the world getting owned by an evil corporation, the good guys trying to stop it, and everyone getting SEPHIROTHFROMNOWHERE'D. then they all do the happy dance or something. oh and some girl dies. thats all the summary anyone will ever need. Advent Children: some random sephiroth looking guys kidnap children. guess they want to be like Micheal Jackson. clouds on a motorcycle. Vincent pwns. then cloud gets SEPHIROTHFROMNOWHERE'D again. oh, and there are some special effects to. Dirge of Cerberus: Vincent Valentine kicks some more ass. enough said. that said, the entire VII series is about Vincent kicking ass. good day. What a load of crap. Are you trying to take the mick out of it's "crap" plot or something because it's not funny and FF7's plot is far from crap maybe you just don't understand it. If I've got the wrong end of the stick please let me know.  |
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Post #129068
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Posted: 22nd August 2006 16:29
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  Posts: 2,098 Joined: 21/1/2003 Awards:     
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The first disc in seven paragraphs of seven sentences of seven words.
Evil corporate overlords rule with iron fist. Spiky haired man with issues joins terrorists. Some power plants are blown to bits. Spiky man meets mysterous lady on streets. His childhood chum has great big... eyes. He joins the terrorists for further missions. Falls from sky into mysterous lady's church. Lady hires him as bodygaurd from turks. Stays at hers but gets not lucky. Sneaks out at night but lady follows. Sees his chum in back of cart. Infiltrates pimp's base whilst wearing a dress. Plate comes down squashes redshirt folks flat. Team climbs wire up to corporate base. Man with sword comes kills some folks. President of coporation stabbed in heart, dead. His son comes and fights spiky man. Group flees the city via motorbike minigame. Head to sleepy village nearby for flashback. Cloud and Sephiroth come to fight monsters. Sephiroth goes nuts, kills all burns town. Flashback ends and their quest then resumes. Must catch choco to not be eaten. Giant snake is killed by evil sephiroth. City with oversized cannon, sneak on ship. Alien being fights party on the ship. Arrive in new place, get skin cancer. Sadly no aeris/tifa bikini on beach. Go into mountains find bloody great reactor. Find town that makes Airdrie look developed. Go to magic funpark gold saucer place. Crazy bugger shoots folks dead via face. Thrown into desert for that guys crime. Barret fights guy, guy jumps off cliff. Win chocobo race and win new ride. Town in jungle a bit like chernobyl. Keep going onwards till buggy's engine blows. Go to talking dog's place of birth. Find statue that once was his dad. Go onwards to cloud and tifa's hometown. Place oddly not a charred ruined wasteland. Sephrioth monologues, mountains dull, rocket town sucks. Little plane gets wings shot right off. Cannot fly but makes a good boat. Go to temple where old secrets lie. Head of turks is stabbed and dies. Inside temple cloud goes a little nuts. Demon's gate is major pain in ass. Cait sith sadly not squashed after all. Now cloud goes nuts and smacks Aeris. He wakes up in chernobylesque town, dazed. Cetra lady ran away (has black eyes). Follow her to the cold northern place. In yet more ruins, the plot unfolds. Sephiroth falls from sky, makes Aeris die. You fight jenova, please insert disc two. -------------------- "Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato." -George Santayana "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..." -Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony. |
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Post #129074
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Posted: 22nd August 2006 18:28
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  Posts: 2,154 Joined: 9/10/2005 Awards: 
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That was pretty great, Del.
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Post #129080
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Posted: 22nd August 2006 19:17
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  Posts: 225 Joined: 28/5/2005 Awards:
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I would say it was excellent. Seems time consuming, though.
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Post #129085
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Posted: 23rd August 2006 01:07
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Posts: 407 Joined: 25/6/2006 Awards:
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Ha that was much better Del S, in a nutshell.
Quote His childhood chum has great big... eyes Yeah they were HUGE eyes wasn't they |
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Post #129105
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Posted: 23rd August 2006 06:44
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  Posts: 1,796 Joined: 15/11/2003 Awards:
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Quote Arrive in new place, get skin cancer That's going ini my Sig. That was quite entertaining FF7 in 7 word, 7 sentence,in 7 paragraphs Genius. -------------------- "Have you ever seen a baby do that before?" |
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Post #129115
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Posted: 23rd August 2006 15:04
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Quote (Del S @ 22nd August 2006 16:29) Find town that makes Airdrie look developed. Good stuff. I think Niddrie is the spitting image of the sector 7 slums as well. -------------------- Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind. Me on the Starcraft. |
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Post #129139
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