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So, first a little background. I live in CA and it's needless to say a mild climate, but at this time it's fairly warm....

My friend John calls me and says, "Hey, let's go to the Mall."
I say, "Okay, what are we going to do at the Mall."
His response is, "I need a parka."
I say, "What the heck do you need a parka for?"
John: "It's cold in Pennsylvannia."
Me: "Yes, yes, it is cold in Pennsylvannia, but it's not cold here."


......Tiny details he failed to mention earlier......

1) He met a girl
2) Online
3) He's moving to Pennsylvannia to be with her


I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has crazy friends that would do something like this

I don't think it's necessarily crazy. Maybe a bit impetuous, but internet-founded relationships are not doomed to fail just because many people laugh at them.

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"To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly

Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN?

How long has he known this girl, and have they spent any amount of time in person together as of yet?

Personally, I think he ought to have her out to Cali a few times, as well as go out to PA himself a few times, before he makes a life-altering decision like moving out there.

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Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.

~Pacifist Badge, 1978

Pennsylvania's not that cold.

Like Josh said, internet relationships aren't doomed to fail. I'm inclined to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, because he'd have to be really crazy to move completely across the country to be with someone whom he didn't feel he knew really well already.

If you really want to help your friend, help him not screw himself over. If he's worried about what to do with all of his stuff, hold onto some of it for him. Try to talk him into going to Pennsylvania before moving there (not because he might be crazy, but so he has a chance to see her--wouldn't that be fun?) and see if the whole thing evaporates.

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Veni, vidi, dormivi.

A friend of mine recently did the same thing, she went to Seattle to meet her "dream guy" that she met on Myspace. She just sort of upped and left, calling her friends when she was at the airport saying she was leaving. Anyways, the plan was for them to meet and spend time together, she was eventually supposed to move there.

Turns out, the guy was a huge asshole living in the sort of dump not even rats would populate and none of the things he seemed to be online, thank god she didn't just move, ey?

My advice is like was mentioned, talk him into just visiting first, spending real life time with her and then deciding what would be the best thing to do, who knows maybe she can move to Cali and save him the trouble. Regardless, he shouldn't just rush into something like this.

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Okay, but there was a goat!

Well, let's be fair. If the connection was made through MySpace, then Kane's friend is crazy. And possibly stupid.

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"To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly

Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN?

i had a friend do somethin like this. granted, he didn't move to a whole 'nother state, and they didn't meet over the internet, but i guess it's still kinda the same.

my friend, Isaiah, had been going out with a girl for about a week when he decided to move across the state to live with her. that didn't turn out well for either of them. not only that but he ended up almost not being able to move back.

just be sure your friend doesn't burn his bridges on the way there.

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moé in the streets, senpai in the sheets

Well, it was not a MySpace hookup. Though, perhaps stranger still, a Poker Room romance. From what I gather, he has been phoning her practically every night for weeks and has never even met her.

While she seems like a nice girl and he seems to be quite fond of her, I still say it's a tad crazy.

I told him if he just wanted to get out of his current living situation he could stay with me for a while, but he's going to give it a shot over there.

Of course it's not like people on the internet act way different than they would IRL when confronted face to face with a real person.

So basically they never met in person. Goody. This is why I think the internet should be dragged out in a field and shot - it makes people stupid. Internet relationships aren't doomed to fail just because they're internet relationships, but people become so stupid when they meet a person of the other sex online that they overlook the basics: meet, get to know each other, build a relationship that involves physical elements just as much as social elements, and essentially lay down a solid foundation.

When that happens, at best you end up spending an entire weekend having sex and cuddling, realize you're not right for each other one bit, and never speak again. Not that I'm speaking from experience (but the sex WAS quite good, all things considered. ...Ahem.) Luckily most people DO learn after their first time and realize internet relationships do not and will never compare to the real thing, and start having a more normal social life. >"<

Meh. Everyone has to learn someday. Just don't let your friend do anything stupid like moving there before spending a weekend or two there to get to know her. >"<

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"Judge not a man by his thoughts and words, but by
the quality and quantity of liquor in his possession
and the likelyhood of him sharing."

Well said, Silverlance.

I almost met a girl from MN once in person that I had met online at chathouse.com back in it's heyday. We had talked for months online and through email. What broke the deal right before I bought the ticket to go see her was that she sent me a letter via snailmail with some pictures of her in it.

Please understand, I'm not shallow. I was pissed off to find that her looks and the way she had described herself were about as polar oposite as you can get.

This guy needs to seriously consider a TRIP to PA, not a relocation.

My prediction: doomed to failure, this venture is.

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Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.

~Pacifist Badge, 1978

Well feel free to call me crazy, too. I'd move closer to a girl I met online, but I wouldn't officially pack my bags until I've met her in person and I have nothing I'll downright hate her for. However if my bags are packed and I have made moving arrangments BEFORE this girl and I have a falling out, I'd move elsewhere for the hell of it. I refused be packed without going somewhere or pack up just to go back home (or to my old home). A vacation somewhere before moving there wouldnt be a bad move either.

This post has been edited by FabulousFreebird on 21st June 2006 12:21

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"Thought I was dead, eh? Not until I fulfill my dream!"
Seifer Almasy


"The most important part of the story is the ending."
Secret Window


"Peace is but a shadow of death."
Kuja

I used to make fun of my sister all the time through high school with how much time she spent talking to her "internet boyfriend", but they met IRL, started dating, and have been together for like 2 years now. He's an alright guy, doesn't say much, can buy me beer (I still have a few months to go), and he's pretty big and could easily kick my ass so I can't really say crap to the guy.


My best friend since 5 years old on the other hand, is "internet dating" with a 16 year old in Wyoming...My best friend is 19. *Sigh* Me and my buddy can't believe he's wasting his life away like this, but it almost seems like he'll go another 2 years and then meet up with her, and other unrealistic, far too idealistic, and probably delusional scenarios of it "working out". *Sigh*

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The clouds ran away, opened up the sky
And one by one I watched every constellation die
And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard
Face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star
I should've known, walked all the way home
To find that she wasn't here, I'm still all alone

-Atmosphere "Always Coming Back Home to You"

This seems borne of desperation or delusion. I dunno what your friend's reasoning is exactly, but I'm with everyone that says he needs to meet her and visit her once or twice before he moves in with her. The real world and the internet are two extremely different places, and I strongly disagree with committing to a real-world relationship after only knowing the other person through the twisted lens of the internet.

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this is a blog mostly about comics and videogames
END SPOILER

That sounds very close to what a good friend of mine just did. Except she didn't tell me by inviting me out with her to get a parka. She just moved from PEI to Alberta to be with a guy who she originally met via livejournal. She's been there for about 3 weeks now, and they're both incredibly happy.

This person is an adult, however, 25 years old. I'm not sure how old Kane's friend is. I'm going to assume at least 18?

And I'm sure some of you know that I met my husband over a play-by-email ff7rpg.

This post has been edited by Elena99 on 21st June 2006 23:23

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I had an old signature. Now I've changed it.

They're both adults, my friend is 22 and she is 23. It's good to hear that some of these relationships do actually work out. Hopefully he decides simply on a visit and then makes a decision.

Quote (laszlow @ 21st June 2006 08:41)

The real world and the internet are two extremely different places, and I strongly disagree with committing to a real-world relationship after only knowing the other person through the twisted lens of the internet.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

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"Judge not a man by his thoughts and words, but by
the quality and quantity of liquor in his possession
and the likelyhood of him sharing."

There's this girl I work with that got really homesick when she moved away for college. She would call the store twice a week, minimum, and send us all sorts of crazy things, like candy, videos of her laughing at people sleeping outside in boxes, and a trophy once.

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Quote (Dark Paladin @ 21st June 2006 14:57)

There's this girl I work with that got really homesick when she moved away for college. She would call the store twice a week, minimum, and send us all sorts of crazy things, like candy, videos of her laughing at people sleeping outside in boxes, and a trophy once.

Yeah, that is definitely worse than my friend, but only because those are serious symptoms of the crazies.....
I changed my mind....My impulsive Friend should be the topic title..... DP has the Crazy Friend

Quote (Hamedo @ 21st June 2006 05:00)

Well said, Silverlance.

I almost met a girl from MN once in person that I had met online at chathouse.com back in it's heyday. We had talked for months online and through email. What broke the deal right before I bought the ticket to go see her was that she sent me a letter via snailmail with some pictures of her in it.

Please understand, I'm not shallow. I was pissed off to find that her looks and the way she had described herself were about as polar oposite as you can get.

This guy needs to seriously consider a TRIP to PA, not a relocation.

My prediction: doomed to failure, this venture is.

Well Put Hamedo.

All i all I hope things work out for them. As for me I have been actually talking to girl on MySpace, I admit it, but meeting her would be nice I dont think iD move clear across the country to live with someone, I would at least visit them or they visit me.

Well interstingly enough I had a friend who did the same thing, except not a girl in pennsylvania, a girl in France, they met through online dating, he was planning to go visit and not actually move there, However his boss was an asshole, and one day the boss was confronting him about offering clients under the table prices(his boss has raised the price of their business, and the percent he got off my friends commission), So my friend got pissed off, quit his job, moved to France, and believe it or not their relationship is working. Although in this situation She had actually posted a real photo of herself, and it had already been a 8 month pure online relationship.

Yet this guy's whole life had been pretty spontaneous; on his 18th birthday he got a 30 year old woman pregnant, he ran with the bulls, went on tri-athelons, etc.

so for all you know this relationship could work.

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"Have you ever seen a baby do that before?"