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I guess this is a bit of a rant... more to myself then other people.

A little background on my situation here.  I recently lived in Utah with my family there.  Me and my family didn't get along so well.  

Well, a while ago, I moved down to California.
Things are kind of shakey down here.  I'm living with a female down here.  (I know, guys and girls don't make the best roomates.  We're not a "couple" per say, but more then just friends...  Not sure how to explain it)  Things aren't going as well as one would have hoped.  It's not like I'm getting kicked out of the place or anything, it's just.....

Anyway.  I've had to do alot of soul searching the past few days.  I really don't know what to do these days.  I'm to proud to go back to Utah, but I don't know if staying here is the right thing for me either.

Anyone else feel like they are alone in the world sometimes?  Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who feels that way.  I'm sitting here at 3 in the morning, typing out a personal rant, with the only one who seems to care about me through thick and thin sitting on my lap.  (She's purring too.  She seems so happy.   I wonder how cats can be so carefree.)

Feel free to respond, or not... What ever you'd like to do.  This is just a way for me to look at stuff, and how I feel... trying to sort things out.

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"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

Everyone feels like that at some point in their lives, you're not alone in it ^-^ You said you moved to California "a while ago". How long ago is that? Sometimes it just takes time for you to feel right living somewhere. Is there anything about California you like? And do you mind if I ask how old you are?

I really got depressed after my first move myself (it was to University) but after a couple of months, once I got used to the lifestyle, I was fine.

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I had an old signature. Now I've changed it.

I moved here about a month ago Elena.


As for my age, I'm 20.  I know it isn't that old, but... *shrug*

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"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

I know how it is to move I moved  a half year ago, I had to go to school, but I adapted fast, it may have somthing to do whit what I have to pay for my appartment.... US 80$ a month + Power (Usualy ends up in 110$). But at first I missed my famely and stuff, but now I got new friends and live happy.

My sympathies for you. When one goes soul searching one does find answers. Don't worry you'll be fine. Have a look at all the factors that are making you search for something better. And through it find an answer to all the questions you're asking.

dude you wanna feel better about being alone, go out and buy some cds by a boston based hardcore band called blood for blood. i was in a bad time in my life, and it made me feel a lot better. i guess that may just be me, but if you can find one of their cds way out there, or get one online, then go for it, particularly their cd, "spit my last breath". its got some songs that touch on the subject of just having yourselfin the world.

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You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun, a newborn in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath

Your time will come...