Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic

I know that it doesn't reviel very much but that will change with my next story.



Stalemate




It was not long after, that the care free days after the final battle with Sephiroth started. “I am not done” I said. “I don’t think I can ever be done with him, he still lives within me, laughing….he knows, just as I know that the real battle between Sephifroth and me is only just beginning”. “I am still a puppet, no, maybe more like an unwilling host”. “Although, I can control what I say and the actions that I take, he is still inside of my soul.” “The worst part is that the only way that is truly possible to destroy the Jenova cells within me is to destroy my body”. “He knows this….and he’s laughing…..he’s still laughing”.
It had only been a few weeks, and the people of the planet were already starting to put their lives back to gather. I was trying to help most of them at first. Mostly, I would help some of the men clear the rubble from fallen buildings and houses. Nanaki had gone back to Cosmo Canyon to pick up the pieces of his inherited tribe. Barrett became the head of the Salvation Organization, formerly known as Avalanche. The S.O. was in charge of rescue missions and rebuilding towns. Yuffie went back to Wutai to help her father rebuild the empire it once was. I don’t know what came of that but later she showed up in Fort Condor where the S.O. was bringing in drafts. I heard that when Barrett heard of her raising hell with the team leaders in the lower ranks, he promoted her to be his aid. Cid had the Highwind rebuilt and last I heard was using it for the rescue missions that Barrett and Marlene personally attended. Tifa was staying at the Villa in Costa Del Sol. I had stayed there with her for a couple of months. Tifa is truly a great cook.
On the first night of the four month anniversary of Sephiroths’ presumed death, I had a dream of his return. I don’t mean that he is here back on this planet, but perhaps he is still alive…somewhere. The dream I had, at the time I thought that Sephiroth might have found a way to return to life. Now, I am sure that he never died. She asked me many times to stay, that she would help me with what ever I was going through. I am not as dense I have always led people on to believe about me. I know how Tifa feels and I can say I do feel the same way about her. However, I could not ask her to help me destroy myself, I couldn’t ask her be by my side as I fall on my own blade. Maybe I am being selfish, but I know that there is no other way to end the stalemate that I have created with Sephiroth in my soul. This must end. I know that I am not fit to help anyone….no one.






--------------------

"We wait with hope for promising years, after the fall of a thousand tears. Yesterday's sorrow constanly nears." Kuja

You've got a nice concept here, and if it's meant as a prologue to a larger multi-chaptered fic or a chain of short stories, then you may very well have the beginnings of something good.

Firstly, looks like ye olde spelling and grammar are fine: Any mistake you have made, I have made better (worse?) so I can hardly criticise you for them let alone find them (Except one typo: Sephifroth). Formatting of the story is a little clustered. For example, it's easier on the reader's eyes for it to be laid out like this:

Quote

It was not long after, that the care free days after the final battle with Sephiroth started. “I am not done” I said.
“I don’t think I can ever be done with him, he still lives within me, laughing….he knows, just as I know that the real battle between Sephiroth and me is only just beginning”.
“I am still a puppet, no, maybe more like an unwilling host”.
“Although, I can control what I say and the actions that I take, he is still inside of my soul.”
“The worst part is that the only way that is truly possible to destroy the Jenova cells within me is to destroy my body”. “He knows this….and he’s laughing…..he’s still laughing”.

It had only been a few weeks,[snip]

Like I say though, this is a pretty good possible concept, and I hope to see it get a little longer. It gives a slightly schizophrenic feel to it, the way Cloud is talking to himself in relation to the jenova cells, what you think would have happened after the end of the game, and presumably a suicide attempt by Cloud.

Really, I'm now wondering what to expect from your next parts. Is this a fic/set of related fics that start at the end then fill in the blanks to get back to the true end? Good stuff, and hopefully whatever you have planned turns out either as good as or even better than this.


--------------------

"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

It sounds like a good idea for a larger work. Like Del said, I think you'd benefit from cleaning up spelling, grammar, etc. to make your ideas more presentable. Also, I hope future installments are a little longer. Something this short works for the basic concept, but if you break a larger work into pieces this small, it's not going to flow at all.

--------------------

Veni, vidi, dormivi.

Thanks for the comments on my story, I know I made some mistakes that make my english comp professor turn blue and fall out of his chair. But don't worry, I did that one in a hurry without any revision. I am taking my time on this next one; This is one was something like the preview for my story. I basically just thew my ideas at you. I do appreciate the the encouragement that both of you have given me. I will make the next installment more worth the time to read. Thank you.

--------------------

"We wait with hope for promising years, after the fall of a thousand tears. Yesterday's sorrow constanly nears." Kuja