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happy day of purity, everyone. today, the day before valentine's day, is an excellent day to reflect on values that have largely been forgotten by society -- values such as sexual purity, abstinence, and the right to say "no" when it comes to sex. undoubtedly, we are all going to be bombarded with casual references/advertisements to or about sex, and certainly a large number of us are always under a great deal of peer pressure when it comes to sex. remember that, if you want to be abstinent, you are not the only one, and you don't *have* to have sex to be cool. even when it seems like everything and everyone is telling you you're supposed to have sex, always remember that it's your body. for those of you who are interested, here is a link to their website: Day of Purity. all comments are welcome; i would especially like to hear what people think about the over-sexualisation (or not) of society at large, esp. in advertisement; and the tremendous amount of peer pressure put on younger individuals.

Hmm, well I personally don't have a problem with sexualization. If you wanna be abstinent, go for it. You wanna be sexual, go for it.

Sex isn't a bad thing, its just something you need to handle with care and responsibility. Like raising a kid, which you might find yourself doing if you didn't take the first one seriously enough.

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-- You're Gonna Carry That Weight --

personally i could care less what people wanna say about sex, and i have never had a problem with peer presure. I'm waiting until i find the right girl if not until marriage. When i have sex it will be when i'm ready. HAPPY DAY OF PURITY!!

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<Nealio> Seymour sounds like evil Winnie the Pooh

Now there's a good message. With all of the corruption in society, we need to be reminded of positive values. If you don't believe in positive values then you're on your own. Sex is glorified in the media and it seems like many people fall right into it without thinking. No wonder so many young females want abortions! This plays a role in the divorce rate which leads to broken families and children who grow up becoming a burden to society. I'm tellin' ya, it's a domino effect. The foolishness needs to stop at the core. Please help restore some purity to our world! Happy Purity Day!

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FFXI (Siren server)
Tauu the Windurstian Tarutaru!
White Mage & Paladin

There is no purity day for Kame, she's pure 365 days a year.



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kame, tortue, tortuga, schildkröte, tartaruga, turtle

"Arthur Dent?"
"Yes."
"Arthur Philip Dent?"
"Yes."
"You're a total knee biter."

( Laughs like Kefka) W007 i laugh at your morales. Morales are for the weak. Those who believe that Valentines day is more than an excuse to sell crap are insane. The world would never submit to weaklings who believe in righteousness(Bad spelling im sure) which doesnt exist. Theres only gray. and the pain we believe we feel is only a passing moment

Moderator Edit

This is very innapropriate. It's harassment, and off-topic, and just plain inconsiderate. -Elena99

This post has been edited by Elena99 on 13th February 2004 21:05

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If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

True it is wrong to think in black and white terms. And the term 'purity' is making it sound like its wrong to have sex or be sexual, which it isn't.

I would say the problem that i90east is babbling about falls more on the fault of society raising its children poorly than influence from media. Blaming the media is a poor excuse. Of course society is a complex organism so its hard to talk about.

But some examples would be parents not talking to their kids about sex. So they learn about it from other kids and experience. Or how about everyone and their grandmother telling the kids that sex is bad. I think this just gives kids something to rebel against when they get to that rebellious age. If parents would talk with their kids and make sex not seem so wrong or taboo then I would think they could handle it with a lot more responsibility when the time comes. Especially if they wouldn't have to go behind their parent's backs about it.

So I guess I don't approve of your morales either. Sorry but its how I feel. I'm probably going to get a moderator edit for this.

This post has been edited by Rujuken on 13th February 2004 21:31

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-- You're Gonna Carry That Weight --

I agree with Elena's Mod Edit, but I won't say more about it, because I don't want to make any form of personal attack.



As to the topic however, I am going to have to agree with Rujuken. Happy Purity day, though I wish parents would change how they talk to their kids about sex. I honestly think that one should save themselfs untill they find the person that they know they want to spend the rest of their lives with, but when you find that person, I think sex/making love can be a beautiful thing, if you're carefull with it. It should not be taken lightly though, or be put on by peer presure. It is a personal choice if you feel you need to wait till after marrige.

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"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

Believe what you want Rujuken. I understand that the poor raising of children involves many variables. That's why I said "This plays a role in the divorce rate", not that it's the definate factor. Infatuation can cause a lack of loyalty among spouses (since we're talking about divorce rates). This is biological but you ultimately make the choice between pursuing your temporary passion and saying "no". The media promotes this sort of thing, where everything is about imagery. This has nothing to do with actual love.

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FFXI (Siren server)
Tauu the Windurstian Tarutaru!
White Mage & Paladin

Quote

This is biological but you ultimately make the choice between pursuing your temporary passion and saying "no". The media promotes this sort of thing, where everything is about imagery. This has nothing to do with actual love.

Ok, I really don't have a clue as to what you're saying here. Please try and explain this to me.

Do you mean to say that because of our biological urges we can either abstain or have sex? Thats probably not right but I can't think of anthing else.

And I never mentioned love, though some people did.

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That's why I said "This plays a role in the divorce rate", not that it's the definate factor

And I never said it was a definite factor. I said the blame lies mostly elsewhere.

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Infatuation can cause a lack of loyalty among spouses (since we're talking about divorce rates)

No you're talking about divorce rates. Infatuation (which I'm assuming you are referring to marriage based on sex) may cause lack of loyalty, but I'm sure everyone would agree a marriage based on that would be doomed from the start.(If my assumption is correct that is).

I still think that if society would stop being anal about the topic and actually open up, children would be a lot better equipped to handle this stuff. Your not going to fix anything by putting a plug on the media. Its the same thing as parents complaining about children being violent because they play Grand Theft Auto. I'm sure it would effect a few small minded individuals but thats not where the root of the problem lies.

If you want to stop kids from having sex....well, you won't. You might think its wrong for kids to be doing such things but our bodies are designed for it. And our bodies will give us incentive to do it.

If you want to teach kids how to be responsible about sex...now, there I can see success.

Anyway the media is just a surface problem at best.

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Y'know after all my babbling I forgot to thank gozaru~

Eh hem....Arigatougozaimasu

Thank you very much for the offer of a happ purity day. I don't really agree with it so I'll pass, but thanks none the less.

This post has been edited by Rujuken on 13th February 2004 23:25

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-- You're Gonna Carry That Weight --

Well...Happy Purity Day, everyone!

This is nice. I get a topic in which to post my opinions about sexuality in the modern world, especially in modern America.

When I entered high school, I was a bit younger than my classmates, but nevertheless they had already gotten into an insane amount of sexual sh**. Some would (if not talking about drugs and other dirty topics) simply ramble on about how hot some girl's breasts were or about masturbation or about whatever sexual crap came into their mind. I, needless to say, was VERY disgusted, and am still. To one of my classmates (who was a lot better than the extremes I just described) who had to dress in drag for English class project-acting, I still have to ask--why did he choose not to use tennis balls but rather absurdly huge crumpled newspaper balls to represent breasts and then make a huge deal about how he liked it like that? Then there's some almost random influences that I also remember--such as the newspaper reporting Angelina Jolie saying that she hadn't had sex in a month. I felt, "Who cares?!" Well--some people do, apparently. And even though I think anything about sex should be kept private, it seems that Jolie herself doesn't mind making her having sex well known to the rest of the world and that the newspaper doesn't mind publishing that either (yellow journalism, people). How about a person who lives in the suite I used to live in who refers to almost everything that she likes (even things like a clean suite kitchen!) as "sexy". (How the heck is a clean kitchen sexy, unless you are a pervert?)

Anyways, with the proliferation of the norm that freer practicing of sex is increasingly okay and acceptable, comes destruction of things like marriage. I was shocked to read in my psych book two years ago that the divorce rate, which was something like 1/17 of all marriages around 200 years ago, is now 1/2. Which means that about half of all married couples separate (so much for marriage being a "lifelong committment"). Extramarital and premarital sex are producing illegitimate children and teen parents aren't even mature enough to take care of their children. Plus, this often creates tons of legal battles over custody, effectively wrecking the child's childhood. One of my relatives has a daughter who now cares for her (premaritally conceived) son, who's supposed father recently (and shockingly) revealed through DNA tests that he wasn't actually the boy's father after all.

And even if you don't consider the children, extramarital sex (despite the seemingly increased acceptance of sexual activity) WILL destroy virtually any relationship. (I will not say all because there are inevitably some highly unusual cases to which this doesn't apply.) I'm pretty sure many of you have heard about divorce, spouse abuse, and even murder over extramarital sex.

In my opinion, Valentine's Day celebrates love, not sex. "Making love" is a very misleading euphemism for having sex; sex merely involves a physical union (or rather "throwing-together") between two people and some biochemistry, while love actually means that two people care about each other. Yes, you can argue that nature created sexual attraction in order to get humans to reproduce, and you might be right, in a way, but that doesn't mean we have to act like other animals who don't know better. Having sex doesn't mean anything in itself (other than, as I said, some biochemistry), but having love (true love, that is) means a strong companionship. Thinking of either men or women as sexual machines puts us down to little more than...well, mindless machines. Can't we do better than that? Yes, we can, and that is called love. Love doesn't have to involve sex, in fact--take Locke's and Celes's relationship and Terra's love for the Mobilz children as examples. Love is a psychosocial interaction between two people in which they deeply care about each other.

I can partly blame philosophers, since, for example, Freud popularized (was it intentional?) the notion of the Oedipus complex (which I will swear on ANYTHING that I never had, because I truly didn't), and Dawkins expanded such thoughts by saying that all human actions are driven by sexual desire. I can partly blame popular culture--dirty jokes, dirty pictures, Playboy, and many female pop stars, for example. But I will also blame people for being so stupid as to fall for that. Perverts will have to learn that there's something better in life to think about. (And you should know how many of these "sexy ladies" that I see on TV, in advertisements, etc. I consider VERY UGLY. I also hate most sex scenes in movies, because so many of them take some twenty minutes to show a man and a woman in bed exchanging a few words, when at least nineteen or so of those minutes could be used for more important plot events--the fact that sex sells in movies is very sad.)

Today, we will be celebrating making sense on sexual issues. And tomorrow, we will be celebrating love, not a shallow action often mistaken to represent it.

This post has been edited by Glenn Magus Harvey on 13th February 2004 23:55

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Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

Quote

How about a person who lives in the suite I used to live in who refers to almost everything that she likes (even things like a clean suite kitchen!) as "sexy". (How the heck is a clean kitchen sexy, unless you are a pervert?)

Oh, gee...I don't know. I'm hoping you weren't being serious when you wrote that. Please tell me you weren't being serious.

Well, I'm with you on the whole "love" thing Glenn. Love shouldn't have anything to do with marriage or sex. It should be a deep emotional bond between people.

But you make it sound like having sex or having a child outside of a marriage is wrong. What if there are no intentions of marriage? Y'know just two RESPONSIBLE people who are well prepared and willing to start a family.

You'd be suprised how many people around where I live get married AND have kids before they hit 25. Kinda sickens me how irresponsible some people can be. But this isn't because everyone is dumb enough to be affected by the media. (Which, I agree, you have to be prrreeeeeety dumb to be) Its because no one is willing to talk about sex. If people could just quit being so tight lipped about it (Glenn I'm assuming you are since you seem so disgusted by sex talk) and actually come out in the open. All the kids are left to figure out their biological urges and emotions by themselves. I don't get why so many people consider sex to be disgusting or dirty. Well...I know why I just don't agree with it.

I suppose with enough acceptance that sex is okay , marriage could become an outdated custom. 'Course I don't really view this as a bad thing. If people don't need an instituition as an excuse to stay together than I don't see a need for it. I see no reason why two people just can't love each other and stay together.

And the divorce rate is higher because it has become more acceptable. 200 years ago I would imagine it was rather socially unacceptable to get divorced. People just had to accept that they were married to someone they didn't like and they stuck with it. Even if they didn't have a kid to worry about messing up because of the divorce, I'd imagine it wasn't accepted well. Not that I think they would have actually considered the child's feelings.

Hmm, what is extramarital sex exactly? I want to know...it kind of bugs me in the part where you talk about that.

Kinda, funny how you're swearing up and down that you didn't have an Oedipus complex . I get your meaning though. Freud said everyone has one er something right?

This post has been edited by Rujuken on 14th February 2004 01:10

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-- You're Gonna Carry That Weight --

Purity Day?! Hmmm can't remember the last time I was pure, maybe when I was 2. As I always say, "leave your morals at the door". Besides I don't see the point of this I am supposed to be pure the day before probably the biggest sex-filled day? Not me haha.

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War is for the participants a test of character; it makes bad men worse and good men better. - Joshua Chamberlain

U sir R a n00b >:-( - Cactuar

Quote (Kame @ 13th February 2004 15:37)

There is no purity day for Kame, she's pure 365 days a year.

to you!

Anyone who knows the story behind him would know that St. Valentine would roll over in his grave if he knew what people were doing in his name. People only use Valentine's day as an excuse to have sex or come to school dressed like prostitutes (I am not kidding!)

My thoughts on sex do stem from religion now, but originally came before I had religion in my life.
Obviously religious reason: If you aren't ready for marriage and kids, you aren't ready for sex. If you are "going to get married anyways," prove it and wait.
Pre-religion reason: Being a man does not result from sex. Being a man is about strength (among other things). Having sex means you are weak. It takes a much stronger will to say no when propositioned. So a real man not only has the strength to take no for an answer, but also give it.

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Ah, an honorable one eh? Well, good Dark Paladin. You layed it down on the table like a man.

Though I couldn't agree with you less on your reasons.

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-- You're Gonna Carry That Weight --

Umm. Valentine's Day is when you give cards/chocolates/flowers to loved ones. It does not necessarily mean sex, or dressing as a prostitute. I'm glad I don't go to your school, DP >_>

Anyway, sure, Happy Purity Day. Personally, I believe sex is just fine if you're careful about it, and better if you're doing it in a long term relationship. But there is nothing wrong with abstaining either, of course.

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I had an old signature. Now I've changed it.

Kame first of all

Well I don't know what is considered pure anymore. Because no one is perfect therefore I can't use "purity" to cover myself in a shroud of righteousness.While many people have sex "irresponsibly" and by that we all know what I mean. I don't hate people for it. I'd rather someone who appreciates me in a loving relationship, than someone who uses "purity" to think they are better than anyone else. Ok I won't date a prositute or someone who slept around alot because I'm not taking any chances. I like the idea of a purity day, I just don't want it to be used as an excuse to not include people that might not be considered pure. And so I await the day when I do meet my match.

Happy Purity Day!

Personally I don't see anything wrong with sex, but I believe you should have sex with a certain degree of caution, considering that increasing rate of STDs and teen pregnancy. If you know what the heck you're doing (which most probably don't), and you're careful, I say more power to you. But abstinence is always the safest alternative, so more power to you on that as well

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SPEKKIO: "GRRR...That was most embarrassing!"

Let my give that a big "whomp whomp.."

Teen pregnancies have been dropping quite steadily during the past two decades, as have the conractions of STD's (in general, i can't confirm the rate of std's among teens).


Anyways, I feel sex is there for when you find the right person. Most of what I'd say has already been said but maybe i'll think of something after my v-day tomorrow.

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The clouds ran away, opened up the sky
And one by one I watched every constellation die
And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard
Face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star
I should've known, walked all the way home
To find that she wasn't here, I'm still all alone

-Atmosphere "Always Coming Back Home to You"

First, comment on the Oedipus complex thing--I can say that because I know for a fact that I was not attracted to my mother. I was closer to my mother because I got more beatings from my father.

Rujuken--I don't think of marriage as an institution. I view it as a "standard" representation of a strong emotional bond that has formed or is expected to form between two people.

And the right to divorce is NOT to be abused by Britney Spears. (And marriage is not to be used as an excuse for sex either. Marriage at least implies the intention to stay together for a significant amount of time.)

About the clean kitchen being sexy--the person I am referring to actually didn't say that directly; she described the presence of a moldy cantaloupe on the cabinet counter as "not so sexy".

Quote (Dark Paladin)

Obviously religious reason: If you aren't ready for marriage and kids, you aren't ready for sex. If you are "going to get married anyways," prove it and wait.

I don't see how that's a religious reason. I am quite secular in my view of the world and I strongly agree with that (depending on what is meant by marriage, of course).

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Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

The point of Freud's Oedipus Complex is that all of your memories and attractions to your mother/father are repressed. So it would be impossible to say that you clearly remember you never had an attaction going by his theory, because all of those feelings are tucked away deep down in your subconcious.


*sigh*

And she's using the word "sexy" as adjective slang. Maybe you've heard some of them before? Examples would be : "cool", "weak", "tight", "sticky". Sexy has nothing to do with sex, just like saying cool has nothing to do with the temperature, or how calling something weak has nothing to do with physical strength.

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The clouds ran away, opened up the sky
And one by one I watched every constellation die
And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard
Face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star
I should've known, walked all the way home
To find that she wasn't here, I'm still all alone

-Atmosphere "Always Coming Back Home to You"

Quote (Tidu-who @ 14th February 2004 19:15)

The point of Freud's Oedipus Complex is that all of your memories and attractions to your mother/father are repressed. So it would be impossible to say that you clearly remember you never had an attaction going by his theory, because all of those feelings are tucked away deep down in your subconcious.


*sigh*

And she's using the word "sexy" as adjective slang. Maybe you've heard some of them before? Examples would be : "cool", "weak", "tight", "sticky". Sexy has nothing to do with sex, just like saying cool has nothing to do with the temperature, or how calling something weak has nothing to do with physical strength.

Saying that memories are "repressed" gives anyone the excuse to say almost anything about anybody else.

And I see how "sexy" can be used as slang. But the next question is why is "sexy" used at all (along with other basically sexual words like "f---")?

In any case, with my first very long post I intended to criticize an expanding and worsening American sex culture--basically an obsession with sex and sexual attraction. I just feel that people are giving into some kind of hedonism, and I want to do something about it. Maybe it is getting better already--that would be a good thing. And along with my criticism I also intended to say that Valentine's Day isn't about sex (despite what BGrugby says), it's about love, and sex is very different from love.

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Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

Well, this may be getting very offtopic, but...sex is fun. So...if something were fun, couldn't it be sexy? Is it unheard of for that to be possible?

Or people can use it jokingly.

Anyway, as I said, this is getting offtopic, so let's get back with it :-)

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I had an old signature. Now I've changed it.

Quote (Glenn Magus Harvey @ 14th February 2004 05:22)

I don't see how that's a religious reason. I am quite secular in my view of the world and I strongly agree with that (depending on what is meant by marriage, of course).

Ok, so maybe it wasn't that obvious, but those are the reasons that stem from religious reasons.

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Moderator Edit

This post would lead only to flaming. It's not a bad point, but it's going a shade off into a world that we don't need to visit. Sorry! -R51

This post has been edited by Rangers51 on 16th February 2004 20:24

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Love and Peace- Vash, the Stampede

If Life kicks you long enough, eventually he'll get tired and walk away- Drew Carry

Well, Purity Day came and went and gave rise to V-day. Good times. For me at least.

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The clouds ran away, opened up the sky
And one by one I watched every constellation die
And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard
Face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star
I should've known, walked all the way home
To find that she wasn't here, I'm still all alone

-Atmosphere "Always Coming Back Home to You"

Hmm sexual purity and religion?
I don't get it...
I mean: where does any religion say "don't have sex"?

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

I don't remember any religion outlawing sex (except possibly some weird groups, like (I think) the Shakers (was it?)), but many religions see it either as a sacred item not to be abused or violated, or as a necessary evil for the continuation of the human species (and therefore of their own religion).

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Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

In my church sex is view as a spiritual act as well as a pleasureable act. It is recommended that you wait until marriage. So Glenn you've nailed it right on the head.

Does it say WHY? What's the reason? I don't understand the genesis of it.

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN