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Least favorite character of each game

Posted: 17th January 2011 03:23

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Dude on a Walrus
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I'll do them for playable characters for the first 10. That is, the ten that I've beaten. By the way, feel free to TL;DR this. I understand.

I: Black Mage/Wizard

Simply not as useful as the rest. His damage output will be less than every other character other than the WM/WW because of his awful melee (black magic is weak in FF 1), and both the Ninja and Red Wizard can learn the black spells that boost melee damage for your Knight, Ninja, or Master. Black Mage is 100% offense, and he is only the 5th-best offensive character in a game with 6 characters.

II: Leon

What bull**** is this? First he's missing, then he's the Ultimate Evil's right-hand man for no explained reason. Then he tries to usurp the Ultimate Evil's throne, but when that doesn't work he rejoins his childhood friends to defeat it instead. Final Fantasy is a series that relishes character development and plot twists in its stories, but this is absurd. If you want to play a game with a traitor named Leon, don't play Final Fantasy II. In fact, just don't play FF II at all.

III: Arc

I can't give this one *too* much hate. FF III is quite outdated by today's standards, but it's pretty strong for its time, so I forgive several of its faults. The NPCs are actually quite charming, so I'll turn to the game's DS remake and its annoying not-Onion-Kids-at-all main characters. You have the plucky hero, the crybaby hanger-on, the bossy girl, and the lovelorn knight. I'm going with option B, since all Arc does is cry and despair until he finds his own handsome dream prince. I wish I was kidding.

IV: Edward

If you've played the game, even if you don't agree with me, I think you'll see where I'm coming from. Edward's weak in battle, does little other than pine about his lost lover, runs away often, and replaces a much more useful party member when he joins. He gets a redeeming moment in Toroia, but it's still not enough. In the GBA remake Edward re-joins the party and gets some rather excellent new equipment and abilities, but he's still bottom-tier in damage among non-healers, still quite fragile, and unable to save himself with a Hero's Shield. Lame.

V: Lenna

In a game of weak characters, I found Lenna's to be the most annoying. All we get out of her is that she loves her constituents, worries about her father, is willing to kill herself to motivate a dragon into saving itself, and is easily swayed by the minions of ExDeath (on at least two occasions). I guess I don't care much for weepy, over-compassionate characters.

VI: Umaro

This was a hard one. I really, really like FF VI. I feel that its 14 characters each get a reasonable shake at a personality and a subplot, and the "secret" two that have no plot at all are at least interesting gameplay-wise. Even though one character is weepy (Cyan), and one is over-compassionate (Locke, sort of), I'll pick on Umaro. Yes, I alluded earlier that he's interesting gameplay-wise, but I guess that was a lie. He's probably best used by giving him an Offering and a Gauntlet, which means he just attacks a lot. If you give him his other special accessories, he'll sometimes do other, not-terribly-useful attacks instead. He also can't stat-up due to his lack of Espers. I like Umaro, but he's boring.

VII: Vincent

I almost went with the easy answer (Cait Sith), but I feel I've been unfair to him over the years and I appreciate his high-HP, high-Magic stat makeup. I then almost went with the second-easiest answer (Yuffie), but I've always felt she was useful in battle, probably more useful than characters I actually prefer. Then I almost went for the fan-favorite that I kinda don't like (Aeris), but I only kinda don't like her and her plot role is important and pretty well-executed (har har). So I went with the fan-favorite that wallows in his own despair, isn't that useful in battle with his rage-Limits, and had a spinoff game so terrible that it detracted from FF VII's legacy rather than enhanced it.

VIII: Selphie

I don't like most of FF VIII's cast. Squall's a dick, Rinoa hangs on to Squall because they're star-crossed despite his dickery, and Irvine's a poor man's Edgar that is totally forgettable by the endgame. The two characters I liked the most (Quistis and Zell) were also completely forgettable by the endgame. Selphie is the most annoying character in a game FULL of annoying characters, and is somehow MORE annoying by having a chance-basted spammable unique move that can instantly win a battle for you. Broken does not equal fun. Her most important plot point is probably that she has amnesia that no-one knew she ever had. Not worth playing.

IX: Amarant

This was another tough one, because I generally like FF IX's cast members. All of them have roles, unique skillsets and playstyles, and a completely over-the-top silly design that somehow works. Amarant isn't such a bad character - I feel he's underutilized if anything. His fault is that he joins so late in the game with such little exposition that he seems like he doesn't belong. It's a shame, too, because in battle he's not half-bad and I would probably like him if I just got to know him better.

X: Kimahri

I was torn. The characters I do like (Lulu, Wakka, Auron) are less useful in battle than the characters I don't like (Tidus, Yuna, Rikku). I went with hidden option C, the character who's so boring that I at times forget he's even in my party, and doesn't even have part of the sphere grid to call his own. It's almost surprising that I don't like him, because I'm an animal lover that loves Blue Magic in pretty much every FF game, but really. Kimahri doesn't give me much to go with.

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