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Hey I did not know where to put this. Because I don't know if I should have revived an ancient thread from months ago but...

I made some hypocritical remarks in a thread concerning homosexuality and would like to make an apology. Because while my faith as I've been taught speaks against it. I've been confused and still am. Over my own sexuality and spoke against it. It was wrong of me. My faith says clean the log out of my eye before cleaning a speck out of others.

While I'm not sure if my confusion is wrong or not exactly. Being sometimes my heart says go for it be who I feel really I am and other times I feel like it's telling me live life the way I've been taught that God would want me to be. So over all I just wanted to say I'm sorry and till I can truly say if a topic is right or wrong I won't put my two cent in. I'm sorry.

Sincerely
seraphimdreamer777

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I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

That's okay, especially if it is because of your confusion. It's sad that your religious beliefs seemingly conflict with your feelings. I am not saying those beliefs you are wrong, but I do believe that you'll have to question those beliefs and come up with an answer. You cannot hide your feelings. And by the way, refresh me, what exactly is it that you said that was so bad?

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Praise Be To Helix!

this is what I said...

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My 1st post in Homosexuality and Support For It thread

hope I don't get banned for this or flamed but I tend to flip flop on this because I have my own sexuality issues being I am trans gender and have been fighting it for a long time. I for the most part have to say I do believe it is wrong to be homosexual/transsexual.

I'm not hateful towards anyone that is homosexual but I disagree and and feel that rather than bombarding them with hateful words or gestures to pray for them as my faith teaches me to as well as praying for myself. Though some of my friends say I've been brainwashed by my church of which I could take that as hate against my faith but I don't.

I just think that sometimes people get too offended over words and stereotypes if you believe in a god your stereotyped as being hateful often when it is just the way people are raised. Me my God of which I'm not going to say what faith I am teaches that you should pray for those who are wrong not badger hate or hurt them.

But what I'm trying to say is that it can go two ways I don't hate homosexuals but I'd say that it shouldn't be made a big deal if people disagree as long as no one is pushed to the brink of being hurt or hurting themselves. and that is all I'll say on the point.

2nd post in same thread

Well I admit that some of what I said was confusing. so...

Yes they deserve equal rights. They should have the legal rights of a married couple but taking away the rights of a church of any religion to say no this is not going to happen because we believe it is wrong. That is going against the fact that there is a separation of church and state something that should not be messed with when I have been living the transgender life of which I believed that I was a lesbian woman I still believed the church should not be messed with by the government because.

No matter what religion you are unless atheist (no offense) you can agree that if government got involved with church as far as homosexual rights go what would be next is the right to believe in a single god as in Christians would have to believe in Allah and Muslims in Jesus or basically it would lead to war possibly nuclear and possibly the end of the world as we know it .

Therefor you can be homosexual but don't expect churches to like it cause it's like saying (bad analogy but) an African American trying to join the clan or some other hate group or a Caucasian American trying to join a hate group that hates white people. Just ain't gonna happen. And if all else fails there are some Christian denominations that accept homosexuality. So in the end it kind of all works out if you think about it.

3rd post in same thread

Well this may be a little off topic but most people in the U.S. are smokers but they are going to ban flavored tobacco. The majorities don't always matter.

Like I say I don't see what the big deal is with homosexual marriage let them get married just not in Christian churches unless it's already a Homosexual church then I don't really consider that a Christian church. I don't hate them but I don't have to believe it is right to be that way.

I have a friend that says she's bi but I love her as a friend and at one time I was transgendered but because my family loved me so much as a person and relative I eventually found Christ. But it is that love that I stand by as the key they didn't badger me out of it or anything I left on my own free will . Do I slip up sometimes? Yes. but I found it easier to be a Christian man day by day.

But anyways getting back on topic what I'm trying to get to is not all or most Christians hate homosexuals. Besides I know there are countries where most people kill homosexuals because of they're faith in whatever and I just think that Christians get too bad of a rap for what happens in America when there has been worse in other beliefs and countries.

But anyways I should not have chimed in when my own life is filled with confusion that makes me not sure if God would want me to suppress these feelings or act upon them and just be happy being what I believe or think that I am either way people might say this.

I talked to my pastor he said I should try a filter on my computer to keep myself from looking at material that is inappropriate I'm gonna try it but if it don't work out for me I'm going to just be who I feel I am. Which is a woman not a man. But till then I need to keep my nose wiped before trying to wipe others. I was wrong to judge others for something I'm myself trying to figure out.

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I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

To be honest, your original message does not seem that bad to me. You stated your opinion and did so with some civility. I don't see anything on there about how you hate homosexuals or anything of the nature, for that matter. We all go through confusion in our lives; some with political views, some religious, and others go through sexual confusion. It's really part of being human, so I don't think you should sweat it too much. I would encourage that you be yourself, but won't go into too much detail unless you would prefer that. You should use your time on earth to make a happy, fun, comfortable life.
Again, I just generally skimed over your old post, but there doesn't seem to be anything offensive there. Just a point of view that some would disagree with. You won't ever figure out your situation without talking with others and trying to have an open mind. That's where progress will come from.

This post has been edited by Sephiroth on 26th January 2010 08:47

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Climhazzard is the timeless evil robot who runs some of the cool stuff at CoN (mostly logging chat, since there are no quizzes at the moment), all the while watching and waiting for his moment to take over the world. -Tiddles

I agree with that. The only thing that could be a bit inflammatory is when you said that you don't see homosexual churches as real churches. To be honest I don't even think there are homosexual churches, that would be a bit silly to deny heterosexual people entrance. If you mean churches where they allow gay marriage then, yeah, that could be a bit insulting. Don't worry yourself over it.

This post has been edited by sweetdude on 26th January 2010 17:54

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Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind.

Me on the Starcraft.

I agree with both of you guys. And really, it's actually an understandable point, because part of the church doctrine is that homosexuality it wrong.

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You stated your opinion and did so with some civility.

We all go through confusion in our lives; some with political views, some religious, and others go through sexual confusion.

I said that very thing in a PM yesterday, and that is very true.

Many people, especially in the United States, share that very opinion.

And most of those people do not conduct themselves in the civil manner that you did.

And they definitely would not apologize. So, because of your personal situation, you have nothing to feel sorry about.

This post has been edited by BlitzSage on 26th January 2010 18:27

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Praise Be To Helix!

I don't think you said anything worth apologizing for - you were well-aware that it could be taken the wrong way and took steps to clearly explain your position.

I am more concerned that your personal self is going to be overwhelmed by a conflict between what you're actually feeling and how external forces are telling you you should feel. There are plenty of churches out there that are accepting of "alternative lifestyles" (a term that makes my blood boil but is probably the most fitting, given the context) that will help you find a path that doesn't cause conflict between your faith and your feelings. It sounds like both are important to you.

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Hey, put the cellphone down for a while
In the night there is something wild
Can you hear it breathing?
And hey, put the laptop down for a while
In the night there is something wild
I feel it, it's leaving me

Yeah, and that conflict is a difficult one. Your religious beliefs and your feelings are on completely different spectrums. All I can say is that I hope you figure it all out, and I'm sorry you have to go through it.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Neal's right. I think it needs to be said that there are a dozen church programs, camps, etc. designed to "fix" (I hate that term) sexually "confused" people. The end result is usually that said person is sent to the camp and ends up going back to their homosexual lifestyle. The reason is very simple. That person is homosexual. They didn't choose to be and they don't have some sort of 'mental disorder' that van be cured with couseling. To force that type of inner battle on someone is mental abuse, in my honest opinion.
Being an English major, I've had to write more than my share of MLA research papers, and by and large this one has been my most commonly chose subject. The more research I do the more I find cases where people going through similar trials come out really confused and mentally unsettled.
I would say you might want to step back and assess these feelings, as best you can, without adding the opinions of others into the equation.
You were born as you are. No one chooses to have inner quarrels that may lead to family/church conflict or expulsion.
I don't see where your sexual orientation has to conflict with your faith.
Sorry, just couldn't keep my mouth shut. Thought you might need to hear some of that, for your own good. I hope I made you feel better and not worse.

This post has been edited by Sephiroth on 28th January 2010 05:35

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Climhazzard is the timeless evil robot who runs some of the cool stuff at CoN (mostly logging chat, since there are no quizzes at the moment), all the while watching and waiting for his moment to take over the world. -Tiddles

Well, those are your natural feelings. You can choose your religion, but you cannot choose your sexual urges. You can suppress them though, but I am in agreement with Sephiroth in counseling against that. Suppressing your feelings can actually lead to physical and psychological problems.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Well for one I have to thank you all for being so understanding.

Second though I have to admit this is kind of something I've been suppressing since I was little. My older sister would get on to me and spank me when I use to get into her clothes. Plus my mom has never been supportive. I'm 26 now and it's gonna be hard either way and I already suffer deep depression which may or may not get a little better. But will always be there so I guess it's one of those darned if you do darned if you don't situations.

Like I said I'm going to browse computer filters but if I don't find one that works for me I'm going to just have to tell my pastor tough. He's been a good friend but I don't know what else to say. I'm not blocking half my computer especially the forums I post in which there are only four I like and they are all friendly this is one of them.

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I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 28th January 2010 15:45)

Like I said I'm going to browse computer filters but if I don't find one that works for me I'm going to just have to tell my pastor tough. He's been a good friend but I don't know what else to say.

That's your decision, but I just don't think you'll be able to filter your mind, if you filter it from your computer. But talk to your pastor, since he's a closer friend than I, or anyone here.

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Praise Be To Helix!