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I don't mean to buck the trend for the sake of bucking the trend, but Cleese's Lancelot is the most deadly of all these characters, and I reckon he could win this one on his own. Hey, it might've been for comic effect, but the guards didn't anticipate his lightening approach (but they certainly saw him) and his killing was as ruthless and stylish as any other WNF challenger.

So all the others may die or run away but he'll win it for the Knights.

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Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind.

Me on the Starcraft.

Sabin, have you forsaken this, or do you have reasons?
Give us a sign.

Also, Cleese's Lancelot will be thwarted by Mel Brooks as Rabbi Tuckman.

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

Mea culpa.
Just another late Wednesday night softball game, recovering from illness requiring lots of sleep, and trying to earn a buck. And summer is in full swing, when my social schedule gets completely hectic leaving computer time down comparatively. But hark, there is hope. I have devised a plan to combat this insidious softball schedule that happens to fall on this, the fightingest of all days.

In short, next week's will be up on scheduled time

The results of last week's fight:

CoN Crew: 6 - 1, Merry Men
Facebookies: 6 - 2, Round Table
Ready AIM Fire: 9 - 5, Round Table
I R L: 6 - 5, Merry Men
Googlefight: +1, Merry Men (I get 51100-50200... Maybe the closest Google Fight I've seen)

Total: 21 - 20

Who would've thought a skirmish between two sniveling courts of comedy would be so down to the wire...

The winner: King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

Let us ride to Camelot!

...

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.


Ok, back to business here. This week's fight showcases two cocky, walk the walk men of men squaring off...


In the RED Corner...



Ash Williams

Where you've seen him: Once again dipping into the cult classic vault and digging up the Evil Dead movie series.

Fun fact: The term "bad ass" did not exist before Ash Williams. ... Ok, I have no facts to back that up. But let's face it, Ash was the freaking man. Under the grip of a cursed forest, he managed to survive it, cut off his own hand in the process, and quip a few famous one liners. Then, in the pits of mideival lore, he became the Chosen One. With chainsaw and shotgun, he blasted away the Army of Darkness. This guy is a beast.

Why he will win: Because he's Ash. Effing. Williams.

And he's got the ultimate advantage from both close and long range: a running chainsaw and a sawed off shotgun.

Why he will lose: Not exactly a brilliant tactician, his opponent could resort to outsmarting him.


And his opponent, in the BLUE Corner...



Duke Nukem

Where you've seen him before: the famous shooter series of the the same name.

Fun fact: Duke Nukem has ranked in random website's Top 10 badasses of all time on several occasions. With an arsenal of guns at his disposal, and a killer pair of shades, he annihilated aliens and warlords alike. When he wasn't dispensing appropriate one liners to just killed foes, the ladies are all up ons. Duke is the ultimate man: a gun in one hand and a woman in the other.

Why he will win: Because he's Duke. Effing. Nukem.

His arsenal of guns is also broader than Ash's. And while he doesn't have a chainsaw, those meathooks for arms will hurt coming with a haymaker.

Why he will lose: He's not the brightest bulb in the socket. And he certainly has an ego that will be hard to put in check. He knows he's good, but sometimes arrogance will blind from the lethal attack.

How this fight came to be: Troubled by Duke's blatant ripping off of his own lines, Ash Williams decided to take action. The beleaguered horror action icon found the vigilante at a local tavern trying to pick up chicks, saying ... "Gimme some sugar, baby". Now pissed more than ever for taking another one of his lines, Ash turned on the chainsaw and charged. Duke responded with his machine gun, prompting a riposte from Ash... "Well hello, Mr. Fancy Pants!"

Setting: the local pub.

--------------------

"When I turn the page
The corner bends into the perfect dog ear
As if the words knew I'd need them again
But at the time, I didn't see it."

~"This Ain't a Surfin' Movie" - Minus the Bear

I almost don't care about this one, cuz I'm angry. The last one was such a sham. The Merry Men shoulda won. It came down to a popularity contest. The Men in Tights are the real winners.

But this one is easy. Nukem is out, man. His game, after like 12 years didn't even get made. Duke Nukem: Not So Forever

Ash. Effing Williams wins.

This post has been edited by BlitzSage on 26th June 2009 03:19

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Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (Sabin @ 26th June 2009 03:22)

Why he will win: Because he's Ash. Effing. Williams.

And he's got the ultimate advantage from both close and long range: a running chainsaw and a sawed off shotgun.

Why he will lose: He won't.

Fixed.

More persistence slashed with tenacity, better lines and besides HE HAS A FRIGGIN' CHAINSAW AS A HAND REPLACEMENT!

You could've pitted him against, I dunno, Voldemort or Megatron, for a more even fight.

The fight goes to Ashley Williams

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

Duke Nukem, of course.

Ash will reduce Duke to a pile of melting testosterone. Ash gets it.

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this is a blog mostly about comics and videogames
END SPOILER

Sabin why don't you change it to Thursday night fight?

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Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind.

Me on the Starcraft.

Ash will win, at which time, Ash's body will split in half, and Bruce Campbell the man will walk out instead as the actual victor.

Ash for the concern of the WNF... Bruce Campbell FTW!

--------------------

If internal struggles were as enjoyable and glamorous as the self conflicted wars within video game characters, we would all be statues, reveling in perpetual self war. -Me

Play me on Rock Band 2, GH-WT, or any other Xbox GH!
Xbox Gamertag-MeanJerry

Hands down Ash wins.

Quote

Why he will lose: Not exactly a brilliant tactician, his opponent could resort to outsmarting him.

Duke outsmarting anyone? Made my day, really.

Ash wins. Lol.

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You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one...

I realize I'm probably voting on a losing battle, but I seriously think DUKE NUKEM could take this chump without any challenge.

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Climhazzard is the timeless evil robot who runs some of the cool stuff at CoN (mostly logging chat, since there are no quizzes at the moment), all the while watching and waiting for his moment to take over the world. -Tiddles

Ash- easily.

Can't kill what's already dead

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If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

The results of last week's fight...

CoN Crew: 7 - 2, Ash
Facebookies: 7 - 0, Ash
Ready AIM Fire: 12 - 5, Ash
I R L: 8 - 1, Ash

Total: 34 - 8

Your winner... Ash Williams...


Shop smart... Shop S-Mart!


Well, we here at Wednesday Night Fight have been affected by the recent celebrity tragedies as everyone else. And in remembrance, here is a special two pack of fights starring such of the recently departed, both simultaneously suggested by two WNFans

The first came from the mind of CoN forum goer/chat rat Gabe

In the RED Corner...



Michael Jackson (Zombie disambiguation)

Where you have seen him: Threatening young women everywhere with a hunger for human brains and mad dance moves in the world famous music video "Thriller".

He danced in the street while turning into something that prowls in the night, creeping out every normal person in the way while encouraging the dead to dance. King of Pop fits the undead status well, ready to sink his teeth into the nearest person.

Why he will win: Because it's... Thrriiiilllleeeeeerrrr! Thrillleeeerrr!

Why he will lose: Zombies aren't the smartest creatures, not even the king of pop. One quick joust will be all it takes.


And his opponent, in the BLUE Corner...



Michael Jackson (Moonwalker disambiguation)

Where you've seen him before: Saving the world's children from the evil plans of Mr. Big in the 1990 opus for the Sega Genesis Moonwalker

Anyone who has not played this game is missing out on an iconic game. We discover that Jackson is everything his "Billie Jean" persona lives up to. He excels in being the king of cool, moonwalking to any destination, taking on anything that comes his way by way of jumping, punching, tossing his hat, spinning, and the ultimate technique spinning dance attack. Holy crap!

Why he will win: Because, as you heard, the most damaging, superb, ultimate attack in the known universe is Jackson's uber-dance attack. Why hello, pain!

Why he will lose: Moonwalking isn't an ideal way to present yourself to a fight. He will have many blindspots that his opponent can hide in...



And now, this... Brought to you by Brian, most frequently from the Ready AIM Fire group...


In the RED Corner..



Billy Mays

Where you've seen him: Where haven't you seen him? Most notably, screaming at you from the other side of the tv, hawking some new product.

The be-all end-all pitchman, there was never a man so known for his delivery and there will never be another one like him. Before he leaves us, he will take part in this, using everything in his arsenal to dispose of his opponent..

Why he will win: Think about how many things he has in his arsenal: OxyClean, Orange Glow, Kaboom, Mighty Putty, Hercules Hook. Take into consideration his projected delivery has enough force to knock shudders off windows with hurricane like tenacity. ANd when all else fails, Billy is certainly a big enough dude to hold his own.

Why he will lose: That OxiClean doesn't last forever.

And in the BLUE Corner....



Inspector Gadget

Where you've seen him: doodoodoo doo do Inspector Gadget doodoo doo doo doooo Oooh ooh!

Potentially the only man who has more in his arsenal than Billy Mays. He's got everything crammed onto him like a cyborg, summoning them from his innards with a simple phrase. With this, he fought the evil organization MAD.

Why he will win: Four words lead to limitless possibilities to winning: "Go Go Gadget ________" (fill in the blank)

Why he will lose: Has he ever completed one mission by himself? There will be no Penny or Brain here to help him out of this one.

This post has been edited by Sabin on 2nd July 2009 03:32

--------------------

"When I turn the page
The corner bends into the perfect dog ear
As if the words knew I'd need them again
But at the time, I didn't see it."

~"This Ain't a Surfin' Movie" - Minus the Bear

Moonwalker Jackson takes out Zombie Jackson, because he can attack and retreat at the same time by moonwalking nonstop.

Also, Billy Mays cleans the good Inspector's clock... with OxyClean.

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this is a blog mostly about comics and videogames
END SPOILER

Quote (laszlow @ 1st July 2009 19:37)

Moonwalker Jackson takes out Zombie Jackson, because he can attack and retreat at the same time by moonwalking nonstop.

I second the Moonwalker comment. Moonwalker Jackson takes out Zombie Jackson.


As for Billie Mays vs. Inspector Gadget, I was going to say that Gadget is a horrendous failure without the backup of Penny and Brain, but even that is superfluous. All you need to know is: OxyClean gets rid of anything. Period. Even Cyborgs.

Yay! I'm glad you took my request.


In any case, think about it, Thriller MJ can control an entire army of zombies. He can get them to dance in unison. Moonwalker Michael Jackson is much more of a renegade, busting in, shooting people with magic bullets, and then slips out into the night. If it was Thriller Michael with his horde, then he wins easily. Otherwise, one on one, Moonwalker MJ takes him out.

I'll have to go with Moonwalker though, because of this mashup I found while searching for a clip of sonic music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzcHS7QgjtA

And being my hero, Billy Mays hands down. Inspector Gadget is such a bumbling fool that he would probably end up killing himself anyways.

--------------------

And have you found your joy, in this near dead world of ours?

Thriller is a good enough piece, but it does not get it's awesomeness from Michael Jackson.
The winner here would be Vincent Price if he were an option.

In this configuration Moonwalker Jackson wins - he's much more nimble and has more moves and other advantages in a 1-on-1.

Also Billy Mays gets the upper hand over Inspector Gadget - although I love the latter, he's alone and superincompetent.

--------------------

"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

Are you guys kidding? Moonwalker Jackson can't take out Thriller Jackson. Nothing can stop Thriller man.

I wonder if you guys are just limiting him to the "zombie" part of Thriller, because he also turns into a werewolf too, and who knows what else if the video had been longer with a bigger budget.

Quote

Why he will lose: Zombies aren't the smartest creatures, not even the king of pop. One quick joust will be all it takes.

We aren't talking about normal stupid zombies, we are talking about Michael Jackson's Thriller army. They don't move slow during the dance number, and if there was a fight, they could pick it up.

Okay, here's how it would go down...

Thriller MJ would take away the one advantage that Moonwalker Jackson or any Jackson incarnation has: the ability to kill people with dance moves. Except he will not only do it with himself in his prime, but he will do it with an entire army behind him.

The other two, it doesn't matter which item they pull out or try to pitch to him, they're going to go down to the power of the Thriller.....

Quote

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

Do I really need to continue? Okay I'll go on.....

Quote

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom

And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller

mhahahahahahahahahaThriller Michael Jackson wins.

Edit

I guess since it seems I'm fighting a losing battle, it'll be okay if at least one MJ wins.

This post has been edited by BlitzSage on 2nd July 2009 16:35

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Praise Be To Helix!

Moonwalker and Gadget.

For one thing, BlitzSage, I think you missed that this isn't a 4-way fight but just two fights next to each other.

Secondly:

Quote (BlitzSage @ 2nd July 2009 18:34)

The other two, it doesn't matter which item they pull out or try to pitch to him, they're going to go down to the power of the Thriller.....

Quote

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

Do I really need to continue? Okay I'll go on.....

Quote

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom

And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller

mhahahahahahahahahaThriller Michael Jackson wins.

That's Vincent Price talking, which is exactly what I had in mind: all the power of the Thriller comes from him (well, most) making Thriller Jackson terribly outmatched in a 1-on-1 (which this IS. No zombie horde for you) by Moonwalker Jackson who has, IIRC, taken on both mobsters and aliens galore.

--------------------

"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

Oh, okay, Mays and Thriller then.

Nowhere in the song or in the video does it say that Vincent Price was the power behind Thriller. If that is the case, then we should change it to Vincent Price versus Moonwalker. In fact, by showing his eyes becoming yellow makes it seem that not only is it Michael, but he can control it. Moonwalker, we see his power, but we don't know if we completely see all of his powers.

Quote

(which this IS. No zombie horde for you)

Wait, so you're saying that he can't summon zombies, even though that is a power he posseses? So you all are saying that it'll be Moonwalker MJ with all the powers he posseses, versus Thriller MJ. Oh, but he can't be a werecat, and he can't summon zombies. Well, if it is you versus me with my hands, feet, and all other appendages tied behind my back, is that fair. One of his powers is summoning zombies. Another one is transforming into a werecat. So, we should allow him to use all his powers, otherwise this is tainted.

Edit

Okay, I just realized that I just got worked up over WNF, and I apologize. But it's Michael Jackson, man!

This post has been edited by BlitzSage on 3rd July 2009 01:34

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Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (BlitzSage @ 3rd July 2009 03:33)

One of his powers is summoning zombies. Another one is transforming into a werecat. So, we should allow him to use all his powers, otherwise this is tainted.

I'm not denying him the latter, just no chopper backup.

Also, even if he gets the zombie horde, you'll notice that, apart from dancing, they still lurch classic zombie-style and, at least in my opinion, would still be dispatched easily enough by Moonwalker. Especially if this does work like that one South Park episode.

Quote (BlitzSage @ 3rd July 2009 03:33)

Okay, I just realized that I just got worked up over WNF, and I apologize. But it's Michael Jackson, man!

Lol, no problem. Discussion and argumentation IS one of the points of this, neh?


Also, for the record, I believe that should Vincent Price be featured in a WNF, he would beat the crap out almost any opponent using only his fiendish-sexy voice.

--------------------

"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

Well it's not supposed to be fair. Moonwalker doesn't have the ability to summon monsters, but that's why it's an advantage. That's why he wins.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Moonwalker and Gadget. And I'd just like to add: 'get in goals Gadge'.

--------------------

Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind.

Me on the Starcraft.

Moonwalker michael jackson will beat zombie.

Zombies are slow and stupid

And as for chris mays oxiclean or whatever he's called versus inspector gadget.

Inspector gadget has a undefinable amount of tools.

I think inspector gadget would win because he has the upper hand and he is a thinking robot.


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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Thriller MJ pwnz MW MJ. Those are no ordinary dancing zombies.

As for the blundering detective, he has no chance against Billy Mays and the power of Oxyclean! It doesn't matter what he advertises, I always think it looks awesome.

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"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

Quote (Fadien @ 3rd July 2009 17:46)

Thriller MJ pwnz MW MJ. Those are no ordinary dancing zombies.

Thank you. I guess that you, me, and the rest of the civilized world will agree that Thriller is the best.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Thriller MJ ftw. It may be construed as control of zombies, but I think his control os over everything.


Also, Billy Mays ftw. The Awesome Auger would Roto-Root Inspector G into submission.

--------------------

If internal struggles were as enjoyable and glamorous as the self conflicted wars within video game characters, we would all be statues, reveling in perpetual self war. -Me

Play me on Rock Band 2, GH-WT, or any other Xbox GH!
Xbox Gamertag-MeanJerry

The results of last week's fight...

One emotional funeral, and...

CoN Crew: 7 - 3, 8 - 2 (Moonwalker MJ, Billy Mays)
Facebookies: 6 - 3, 6 - 3 (Thriller MJ, Billy Mays)
Ready AIM Fire: 9 - 6, 7 - 2 (Moonwalker MJ, Billy Mays)
I R L: 6 - 6, 8 - 1 (tie, Billy Mays)

Totals:
Moonwalker MJ: 25
Thriller MJ: 21

Billy Mays: 29
Gadget: 8


Alright, now back to business. This week features two comic book veterans squaring off against each other. This brings another Marvel/DC clash to life. Take your sides..


In the RED Corner... kicking it live in the Age of Apocalypse



Cable

Where you've seen him: the subsidiary comic stylings of X-Factor and his eponymous series.

Anyone even briefly familiar with Cable and his story knows the extent of his fighting ability. One the true definable warriors in the fictional world. Son of Scott Summers, he possesses natural born leadership skills and is a master tactician. When it comes to preparation to battle, no one has his number. A master of weapons from all sorts of centuries, Cable has been in a scrap before and knows how to hold his own. Hell, he's taken on the near immortal Apocalypse for god's sake.

Why he will win: His list of powers and abilities is a massive page length (seriously). Along with his unaccountable brilliance in tactics, he is that much better at hand to hand combat. His psychic abilities alone are formidable, but toss him superhuman endurance, and the fact that he's part-cyborg and reaps all those benefits as well, and Cable is the perfect weapon.

Why he will lose: As strong and willful as he is, the techno-organic virus slowly ebbs away his insides until death. His psionic fields help slow its progress, but not halt it completely. Such a disease could distract him long enough to find an opening.


And his opponent, in the BLUE corner....



the Joker

Where you've seen him: the perfect antagonist of the Batman empire.

Mad man. Psychopath. Villain. An idol of malevolent proportions. The Joker is a malicious psycho with a penchant for torture and brutal execution. He commits crimes not for the merit gain or revenge, but simply for lust of carnage. And he does it with a smile on his face.

Why he will win: He's the perfect villain. He has the uncanny ability to find a weakness and exploit it. No matter what it is, this guy can find it and plug at it until submission sets in.

Why he will lose: WHile he is a mastermind, he doesn't do much of the work himself. Sure, he has his little gadgets, and he can surprise with resilient vitality in a fight. But most of the grunt work is done by his goons.

Setting: Gotham

Exceptions: Seeing as Cable has a large advantage in the combat field to his opponent, the Joker will have a slew of his lackeys at the ready to aid him.


--------------------

"When I turn the page
The corner bends into the perfect dog ear
As if the words knew I'd need them again
But at the time, I didn't see it."

~"This Ain't a Surfin' Movie" - Minus the Bear