Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic

*final battle against Kefka for the world*
Kefka: lol, I win!*uses ultima on team*
Locke:"Phoenix..."
*Shadow suddenly appears and throws a whole lot of shurikens, scrolls, swords and knives, instantly kills Kefka*
Sabin: Yay! We're saved! Thanks Shadow!
Shadow:....
Locke: Hey wheres my ultima swords!
Celes: Wheres my Gil!
*Shadow Disappears, leaves a note*
Dear cheated party,
Due to your poor payment methods I have taken the liberty of extracting my pay from your equipment and your gil, oh and tell Locke he's the worst thief ever. -Shadow
Locke: Well at least we have our espers still *Holds out magicite*
Shadow:*Appears and steals the magicite* Thank you!
Relm: Fuddy Duddy.....

--------------------

...I like spears- my repsonse to Fighter's best answer.

Sabin: "Hey.... Where's Gau?"
Umaro: "....... Umaro was hungry......."

(in a public place)
Gogo: Um... I don't know which bathroom to use!!!
Everyone else: (snickering)

Sabin: *lisp* Tee hee! That Setzer fellow is just SO pretty! *giggles, bats eyelashes*
Setzer: *also lisping* Aww, you're so sweet. Come here, handsome!
Celes: HEY!!! Setzer, what about me?!
Setzer: What ABOUT you?
Celes: T_T I'm gonng go play in traffic now!!!
Setzer: Kind of hard to do that, seeing as how we are on an airship.
Celes: FINE!!! *runs away and leaps off the airship*
Everyone else:
Sabin: *turns to Setzer* Now, where were we?



This post has been edited by SnickerSkull on 7th August 2008 14:59

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Edgar: *Sitting on the front steps at Figaro Castle* "Sigh...."
Figaro Soldier: *Looking off in the distance through a telescope* "King Edgar, sir! There's someone lying out in the desert! I think they might be hurt!"
Edgar: "Oh, dear, that can't be good. We should send out a search party."
Figaro Soldier: "It's a girl, sir!"
Edgar: "I'm on it!" *Rushes out in the desert to find Rosa from FFIV lying in the sand*
Edgar: "My, what a beauty!"
Rosa: "Ughn..."
Edgar: "Speak not, my fair lady! I shall perform CPR on you!"
Rosa: "No, really, I'm fi--"
Edgar: "Please, I insist!"
Rosa: "It's okay, really." *Stands up*
Edgar: "What are you doing here, my dear?"
Rosa: "I was trying to find my friend, Cecil. I got lost in a desert storm and ended up...here...where am I?" *Looks up at Figaro Castle* "Oh! This must be Damcyan!"
Edgar: "Uh...sure. That's right! And I am its ruler, Ed--"
Rosa: "Edward, right?"
Edgar: "....Yes, of course! Now come, my dear, you look exhausted."
Rosa: "Oh, but I have to find Cecil--"
Edgar: "Not before resting up in the castle! Come, come!"

...Actually, that's probably exactly what Edgar would do in that situation. But it would probably never happen...probably.

This post has been edited by Ultimaniac on 9th August 2008 17:14

*in the dining room of the phantom train*
Cyan: Are you going to be ok eating THAT?
Sabin: Don't be ridiculous! It's food, ain't it, and I'm freakin STARVING! Do you know how hard it is to find food on Mt. Koltz?!
Cyan: But--
Sabin: Shut up. I'm gonna eat!
Cyan: I give up.
(five minutes later)
Sabin: you know, that food did taste kind of funky... *retches and dies*
Cyan: I told you so, moron.
Shadow: *sobbing* He was my only human friend in the world... I'm so distraught... I'm gonna go cut myself and play in traffic! *runs away sobbing*
Cyan: The weirdos I hang out with...

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Umaro: Umaro like puppies.

(singing the Tiny Toon Adventures theme)
Gau: We're tiny!
Relm: We're toony!
Everyone: We're all a little loony! And in this cartoony we're invading your TV!
Relm: We're comic dispensers!
Gau: We cracked up all the censors!
All: Our Tiny Toon Adventures get a dose of comedy
(holding a map of World of Balance) so here's Acme Acres it's a whole wide world apart. Our home sweet home it stands alone a cartoon work of art!
Cyan: (writing a letter) Our scripts were rejected. (freaks out as an image of himself leaps off the paper and sings: Expect the unexpected!
All: Tiny Toon Adventrures is about to start!
(Gau and Relm leap into the picture) They're furry, they're funny, they're Babs and Buster Bunny!
(Close up of Edgar) Montana Max has money
(Celes stabbing Kefka) Elmyra is a pain!
Cyan: (points to Strago) He's Hampton! I'm Plucky!
Strago: (as Sabin runs past) Dizzy Devil's yucky!
All: (as Mog is being held hostage by Lone Wolf) Furball's unlucky, and Gogo is insane!
Gogo: HEY!!!!!
Everyone else: Uhhh...
Locke: Uhhh...
(suddenly going into the Animaniacs macarena)
Relm: I'm a nut who's known as Macadamia, but you can call me by my other name-ia:
Lousia--Francesca--Banana Fanna--Bo Besca
or just plain Dot(or Relm) the name I flirt to, but if you call me Dotty I'll have to hurt you.

I think I'll actually make a video of that. xDDD i just randomly thought of it.

This post has been edited by SnickerSkull on 12th August 2008 23:48

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Quote (SnickerSkull @ 12th August 2008 00:55)

(singing the Tiny Toon Adventures theme)
Gau: We're tiny!
Relm: We're toony!
Everyone: We're all a little loony! And in this cartoony we're invading your TV!
Relm: We're comic dispensers!
Gau: We cracked up all the censors!
All: Our Tiny Toon Adventures get a dose of comedy
(holding a map of World of Balance) so here's Acme Acres it's a whole wide world apart. Our home sweet home it stands alone a cartoon work of art!
Cyan: (writing a letter) Our scripts were rejected. (freaks out as an image of himself leaps off the paper and sings: Expect the unexpected!
All: Tiny Toon Adventrures is about to start!
(Gau and Relm leap into the picture) They're furry, they're funny, they're Babs and Buster Bunny!
(Close up of Edgar) Montana Max has money
(Celes stabbing Kefka) Elmyra is a pain!
Cyan: (points to Strago) He's Hampton! I'm Plucky!
Strago: (as Sabin runs past) Dizzy Devil's yucky!
All: (as Mog is being held hostage by Lone Wolf) Furball's unlucky, and Gogo is insane!
Gogo: HEY!!!!!
Everyone else: Uhhh...
Locke: Uhhh...
(suddenly going into the Animaniacs macarena)
Relm: I'm a nut who's known as Macadamia, but you can call me by my other name-ia:
Lousia--Francesca--Banana Fanna--Bo Besca
or just plain Dot(or Relm) the name I flirt to, but if you call me Dotty I'll have to hurt you.

I think I'll actually make a video of that. xDDD i just randomly thought of it.

Lol, that's really good.


Gestahl: *On TV commercial* "Are you tired of your current ruling monarchy? Is your town's royal family boring and lame? DO YOU WANT SOMETHING EXCITING?! Then call us at "Imperial Town Conquerers", and we'll eliminate--completely eliminate--the problem! We'll dispose of your town's royal family, place dozens of soliders around to watch everything you do, and give you a general sense of powerlessness! Call '555-RULE-ME' today!"

Kefka: (to Gestahl) Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly submariner! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! I blow my nose at you, so-called Gestahl Emperor, you and all your silly MagiTek Ka-nig-ets!

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Quote (SnickerSkull @ 14th August 2008 02:49)

Kefka: (to Gestahl) Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly submariner! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! I blow my nose at you, so-called Gestahl Emperor, you and all your silly MagiTek Ka-nig-ets!

Actually I could see him saying this

Quote (Apollyon @ 13th August 2008 23:32)

Actually I could see him saying this

hmmm. you're right. he could definitely be a French taunter.
how bout i make a parody skit of it. PREPARE FOR WEIRDNESS.
(Celes, Sabin, Edgar, and Setzer approach Kefka's tower, along with some Figaro castle guards)
Edgar: Hello!
Kefka: 'Ello? Who eez eet?
Edgar: It is King Edgar, and these are my friends, and some of my knights from Figaro Castle. Whose castle is this?
Kefka: Eet eez ze castle of ME! Lord Kefka!
Edgar: We are on a quest to find our comrades. If you will help us, you may go for a ride in our awesome air ship!
Setzer: (whisper) Edgar, are you insane?!
Kefka: Hmm. Well, I 'm not very keen on that. I've already got one, you see.
Edgar: What?
Sabin: He says he's already got one!
Setzer: (sighs in relief)
Edgar: If you will not help us, we shall have to take your castle by force!
Kefka: You don't frighten us, Figaro pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a submariner! I blow my nose at you, so-called Edgar King-a, you and all your silly Figaro Ka-nig-ets! Thhppppt!
Sabin: What a strange person!
Edgar: Now look here, my good man--
Kefka: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed chocobo food trough whopper! I cast Bio in your general direction! Your mother was a Rhodox, and your father smelt of green cherries!
Edgar: Is there someone else I could talk to?
Kefka: NO! Now go away, or... wait a minute. *casts doom on the party and kills them all* Now that I got THAT taken care of... Terra!
Terra: (skips in) Yes, honey?
Kefka: Put on some music!
Terra: Ok! *cranks up stereo and starts singing along to the music* Party like a rock star, party like a rock star! *hardcore dancing*
Kefka: Yay! *starts dancing with Terra*

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

ROFLLL!

"I cast Bio in your general direction"

Kefka: "U'wee'hee'hack cough cough argh!" *Thud*

That was hilarious, SnickerSkull!


After Locke temporarily revives Rachel with the Phoenix Magicite:

Rachel: "Locke...Give your love to the one who now dwells within your heart..."

Locke: "Really?" *Looks at Celes*

Rachel: "Of course not! Your love belongs to ME! I didn't sacrifice myself to save you then die later just so you could be happy with someone else! You stay right here, sobbing over my lifeless body, and if you ever go near that opera floozy again--"

Celes: "Hey!"

Rachel: "Shut up!"

Another Monty Python parody, as crazy as it sounds.
(at the auction)
Auctioneer: A real, talking Chocobo!
Kid: Papa: I want that!
Dad: No you don't shut yer trap, munchkin.
(after several people bid)
Dad: 10000000000 GP!!!!
Auctioneer: Sold to this lucky person!
Kid: Weeeeee! Thanks, Papa!
Dad: Alright, we've got our treat for the day. Let's go home.
Dad and kid: (leave with Chocobo, which is oddly stiff)
(five minutes later)
(Dad walks in with chocobo and angry expression)
Dad: Hello, I want to make a complaint about this Chocobo what I bought not half an hour ago from this very auction house.
Auctioneer: Yes, what's wrong with it?
Dad: It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Auctioneer: No, no, no, he's not dead, he's restin.
Dad: Restin?!
Auctioneer: Yeah!
Dad: Well if he's restin I'll wake him up! (shouting at the Chocobo) HELLO CHARLIE CHOCOBO! CHARLIE CHOCOBO WAKE UP! I GOT A NICE LOVELY CUT OF FISH FOR YOU IF YOU WAKE UP CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!
Auctioneer: (furtively smacks Chocobo's head) There, he moved.
Dad: No he ddin't! That was you hitting his head!
Auctioneer: No I didn't!
Dad: YES YOU DID! (shouting right into Chocobo's ear) HELLO CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!! CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!!! CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRLIIIIIEEEE!!!!! (slaps the Chocobo repeatedly) TESTING! TESTING! THIS IS YOUR NINIE O CLOCK ALARM CALL!!!!! CHARLIE!!!! (whacks Chocobo with a huge book, causing it to fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead Chocobo.
Auctioneer: No, he's stunned.
Dad: STUNNED?!
Auctioneer: Yeah! YOU stunned him just as he was waking up!
Dad: Look, mate. When I bought this Chocobo from you not half an hour ago, you assured me and my child that its total lack of movement was due to him being tired after a prolonged squawk.
Auctioneer: Oh, he's probably pinin' for the fjords!
Dad: PININ FOR THE FJORDS?! WHAT KIND OF TALK IS THAT?! LOOK, WHY DID HE FALL FLAT ON HIS BACK WHEN I GOT HIM HOME?!
Auctioneer: The Chocobo PREFERS keepin on his back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage--
Dad: Look, I examined that Chocobo when I got him home, and when I examined his legs, I discovered they'd been nailed in place.
Auctioneer: Well of course he was nailed in place! If I hadn't nailed that bird's legs, it would have run off!
Dad: This bird wouldn't run off if you cast Bolt 3 on it! It's bleedin demised!
Auctioneer: No, he's pining--
Dad: HE'S NOT PININ, HE'S PASSED ON! This Chocobo is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed his legs straight he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CHOCOBO!
Auctioneer: Well, I'd better replace it then.
Sorry, sir, I've looked at the schedule, and the auction's over for the day.
dad: I see, I get the picture.
Auctioneer: I can give you a bit of Magicite.
Dad: Pray, does it talk?
Auctioneer: Not really.
Dad: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT THEN IS IT!!!
Auctioneer: Do you want to come back to my place?
Dad: I HAVE A WIFE AND SON!!!! *kills the auctioneer by beating him with the dead Chocobo)

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Gau (referring to the diving helmet) : "My...precioussss..."

--------------------

"My name is Atma...I am a power both ancient and unrivaled... I do not bleed, for I am but strength given form...Feeble creatures of flesh...Your time is nigh!"

Gau about the majority of Strago's head:
"ShinyShinyShinyShinyShinyShinyShiny"

Quote (Ultimaniac @ 13th August 2008 15:14)

Gestahl: *On TV commercial* "Are you tired of your current ruling monarchy? Is your town's royal family boring and lame? DO YOU WANT SOMETHING EXCITING?! Then call us at "Imperial Town Conquerers", and we'll eliminate--completely eliminate--the problem! We'll dispose of your town's royal family, place dozens of soliders around to watch everything you do, and give you a general sense of powerlessness! Call '555-RULE-ME' today!"

Kefka: *Continuing Commercial*Now a bonus offer; Do you want to be an evil overlord? Have your entire army of Faceless Goons killed by a bunch of kids? Are you interested in having a power that can split continents that doesn't work on said children?

Call now!

Limited supply of continents
Unlimited supply of Faceless Goons

--------------------

Whats up?

Locke: Im Batmaaaaaaaan!
Kefka: You're Batman?!
Locke: Naaah, I'm just kidding.
Kefka: You're Not Batman? I'm Batman, You're Batman, We're All Batman!!!!
Locke:
Kefka:...
DIE!!!
*stabs Locke*

Shadow: Oh-Em-Gee! (Gee) You can't see me! (me!) I'm blendin in just like a pine tree! (tree!) I am unseen! (seen!) You can't see me cuz I'm a ninja, nin-ninja, ninja, nin-ninja!

Cyan: Yo wassup my homie?!

Celes: (surveying the world of Ruin) Like, oh-my-gawd! Did the world, like, get a makeover?

Terra: (to Kefka) You know, that outfit has been out of style since before the War of the Magi.

Locke: I wonder what Shadow did with the 3000 GP we gave him? He can't have needed all of it to feed his dog! (sees Shadow stumbling by with white powder smudged on his nose and giggling insanely)
Shadow: Teeheehee... duckies go MOOOOOO.... heheheh... (snort)
Locke: Ah. But who sold him crack?!
Cyan: (walking by with a cart) Drugs! Get yer drugs here! Crack, pot, LSD, whatever! Get yer drugs here!
Locke: I should have known.

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Sabin: Falcon PUNCH!!!!

Strago: Do a barrel roll!!

Shadow: Hey Guys Hey Guys Hey Guys Hey Guys Guess What?
Gau:"rolls eyes" What, Shadow?
Shadow: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Gau: Well, my dim witted friend, it is simply the square root of pie divided by a chicken mcnugget + 4 roasted cumquats.
Shadow: Ummmmmmmmmmm Pie.




This post has been edited by RandomEncounterXIV on 9th September 2008 02:36

Setzer: Knock knock
Mog: Who's There?
Setzer: Stuck Moogle
Mog: Stuck Moog-
*Setzer throws a single dart right through Mog's head pom, sticking him into wall*
Setzer:HAHAHA
Mog:...Sic 'em Umaro
Setzer: O.o *runs*

--------------------

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

*Gau is sitting staring at the diving helmet*
Cyan: You're just gonna sit there, aren't you? Sit there like and idiot, staring at the screen?
Gau: This show... boring.
Cyan: That's because there's there's nothing on. You've been here for thirteen years and never paid for cable.
Gau: *scratches head* Make it work please!
Cyan: *laughs* Yeah, I'll get right on that. How about YOU, pick up that phone THERE, if it even works.
Gau: *picks up a rock* Uwaaauu?
Cyan: No. Stop it. Stupid.
Gau: *throws down the rock*
Cyan: No, don't--ughh... All right, now, pick it up.
Gau: *picks up the rock again* Uwaauu?
Cyan: N'all right, fine. Now yeh see that numba next to da phone? *points to a scrap of metal which has some numbers engraved on it* Dial it. It's teh cable company.
Gau: *still holding the rock to his ear, looks around absentmindedly*
Cyan: Well?
Gau: *looks at Cyan, holds out the rock to him* It's for you!
Cyan: There's no one on it, moron. Dial the number there.
Gau: Which number?
Cyan. ALL of them. IN the order in which they appear. Not backwards. Not upside-down. Dial the number.
Gau: Weeeee!
Cyan: Dial it. Dial the number. Dial, the number. Yeh see it, dial the number stupid. Dial the number stupid. Dial the number. Stupid. Just dial it! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR JUST DIAL THE NUMBER!!!!
Gau: Ohhhhh. *starts poking the rock randomly, puts it down*
Cyan: W-w-w-WHY did you hang up?!
Gau: They weren't home! I got the machiiiine!
Cyan: That was an AUTOMATED machine, to HELP customers ACTIVATE their service, WHY did you hang up??!!!
Gau: *starts trying to put his fist in his mouth*
Cyan: Don't put that in your mouth that's just dumb.
Gau: *starts banging his head on another rock, all the while with a huge grin on his face*
*there is a knock*
Cyan: *extreme facepalm* Go see who's at the door when you're done with that.
Gau: *jumps up, answers the door, sees that it is Sabin* Mr. Thou!
Sabin: What the heck are you two doing?
Gau: Trying to get cable so we can watch TV! *points to diving helmet*
Sabin: Oh. My. Gosh. Cyan, what were you thinking? We really shouldn't encourage him to act foolish.
Cyan: Well, he wanted to watch TV.
Sabin: That's a DIVING HELMET.
Cyan: Oh, fish-paste!
Gau: WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! *spins around joyfully until he hits his head on the wall and falls to the floor*
Sabin: Have you kept track of his sugar intake?
Cyan: Uhhh... Yeah.
Gau: *rolling around giggling uncontrollably*
Sabin: *finds traces of white powder* What is THIS?!
Cyan: Uhhh... t isn't sugar! It's just dust!
Sabin: Uh-huh. Of COURSE it isn't.
Gau: *manages to stop giggling* *squealy voice* No, Mr. Thou, it not sugar! TeeheeheeUwaaauu!!! it crack!! heeheehee! *rolling around giggling uncontrollably*
Sabin: I knew I should have hidden my stash better...

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Kefka(to anyone of the Returners:"You are the Weakest Link, Goodbye."

Celes(to an enemy):" You just ripped my cape!!!! Prepare to die!!!!!!!"

Terra: "You know what? I don't care about love or friendship...I'm going to go borrow some of Shadow's clothes and become Emo."

Gau: " i want to take a bath and smell like lilacs and lavender!"

Relm:"Eww! I hate dogs! Cats are better!"*kicks Interceptor*

Cyan: Now click "Internet Options"
Edgar: Click? With What?
Cyan: ...the MOUSE. USE THE MOUSE.
Edgar: EEEK! A MOUSE?!?! I can't STAND mice, they're so dirty!
Cyan: Please, God, Just shoot me now.

*Terra is sitting next to Edgar*
Terra: Hey Edgar.
Edgar: Yeah?
Terra: Did you hear about the three female sex offenders who escaped from jail?
Edgar: No.
Terra: Well, two were caught. *puts her hand on Edgar's leg and starts moving it up* They never found the third one...

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-

Celes (right after Locke unchains her):" What the hell are you doing?! This is a role playing game... "

Cyan: *sings God Save The Queen by the Sex Pistols at karaoke night in a bar in zozo*

Kefka: *blasts a town with the light of judgement, looks into the camera* "What would you do for a klondike bar?"

I'm bad at this and will probably get TOS'ed.

Hi Everyone! I'm a sociopath, and this is my first post!

This post has been edited by Many_Boomers on 6th October 2008 01:23

Cyan: I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER PLZ?

Shadow: Spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam...
Sabin: SPAAAAM SPAMITY SPAMSPAMSPAM SPAMITY SPAAAM!
Terra: Quiet, QUIET! Bloody Vikings...

Edgar: You know...keeping your dead girlfriend's preserved corpse in your basement is pretty weird
Locke: Really?
Edgar: Yeah, creepy too...and gotta be unhygienic to boot
Locke: Yeah, you're probably right *dumps Rachel in the trash*

Celes: OMG LOLZ LOCKE I LIKE TOTALLY LUV U!!!
Locke: ZOMG I LUV U TOOOO!!!!

Mog: MOG DEMANDS MORE LINES!



--------------------

Click here to read my FFVI fanfic *last updated 5/04/09*

Quote (SnickerSkull @ 18th August 2008 11:45)

Another Monty Python parody, as crazy as it sounds.
(at the auction)
Auctioneer: A real, talking Chocobo!
Kid: Papa: I want that!
Dad: No you don't shut yer trap, munchkin.
(after several people bid)
Dad: 10000000000 GP!!!!
Auctioneer: Sold to this lucky person!
Kid: Weeeeee! Thanks, Papa!
Dad: Alright, we've got our treat for the day. Let's go home.
Dad and kid: (leave with Chocobo, which is oddly stiff)
(five minutes later)
(Dad walks in with chocobo and angry expression)
Dad: Hello, I want to make a complaint about this Chocobo what I bought not half an hour ago from this very auction house.
Auctioneer: Yes, what's wrong with it?
Dad: It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Auctioneer: No, no, no, he's not dead, he's restin.
Dad: Restin?!
Auctioneer: Yeah!
Dad: Well if he's restin I'll wake him up! (shouting at the Chocobo) HELLO CHARLIE CHOCOBO! CHARLIE CHOCOBO WAKE UP! I GOT A NICE LOVELY CUT OF FISH FOR YOU IF YOU WAKE UP CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!
Auctioneer: (furtively smacks Chocobo's head) There, he moved.
Dad: No he ddin't! That was you hitting his head!
Auctioneer: No I didn't!
Dad: YES YOU DID! (shouting right into Chocobo's ear) HELLO CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!! CHARLIE CHOCOBO!!!!! CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRLIIIIIEEEE!!!!! (slaps the Chocobo repeatedly) TESTING! TESTING! THIS IS YOUR NINIE O CLOCK ALARM CALL!!!!! CHARLIE!!!! (whacks Chocobo with a huge book, causing it to fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead Chocobo.
Auctioneer: No, he's stunned.
Dad: STUNNED?!
Auctioneer: Yeah! YOU stunned him just as he was waking up!
Dad: Look, mate. When I bought this Chocobo from you not half an hour ago, you assured me and my child that its total lack of movement was due to him being tired after a prolonged squawk.
Auctioneer: Oh, he's probably pinin' for the fjords!
Dad: PININ FOR THE FJORDS?! WHAT KIND OF TALK IS THAT?! LOOK, WHY DID HE FALL FLAT ON HIS BACK WHEN I GOT HIM HOME?!
Auctioneer: The Chocobo PREFERS keepin on his back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage--
Dad: Look, I examined that Chocobo when I got him home, and when I examined his legs, I discovered they'd been nailed in place.
Auctioneer: Well of course he was nailed in place! If I hadn't nailed that bird's legs, it would have run off!
Dad: This bird wouldn't run off if you cast Bolt 3 on it! It's bleedin demised!
Auctioneer: No, he's pining--
Dad: HE'S NOT PININ, HE'S PASSED ON! This Chocobo is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed his legs straight he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CHOCOBO!
Auctioneer: Well, I'd better replace it then.
Sorry, sir, I've looked at the schedule, and the auction's over for the day.
dad: I see, I get the picture.
Auctioneer: I can give you a bit of Magicite.
Dad: Pray, does it talk?
Auctioneer: Not really.
Dad: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT THEN IS IT!!!
Auctioneer: Do you want to come back to my place?
Dad: I HAVE A WIFE AND SON!!!! *kills the auctioneer by beating him with the dead Chocobo)

You win.

That is all.

--------------------

Click here to read my FFVI fanfic *last updated 5/04/09*

Duane: *upon seeing Katrin in a window* But soft, what light from yonder window breaks?
Kefka: THE LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT!!!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! *blasts town to smithereens*

Mog: Umaro! You're gonna come with us, and you're gonna behave!
Umaro: NO! You not Umaro's mommy, you dumb moogle!
Mog: *husky voice* But I KNOW your mommy. I was with her last night.
Umaro: UMARO GETTING BAD BAD IMAGES!!! *starts sobbing*

--------------------

-dysFUNctional-