Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic

This is the first part to a story I'm writing. Soon enough, it's going to turn into a comic- form, so the page breaks are where a new page would be drawn. If you know a little Spanish, a few things in here might amuse you, names, etc. ^.~

The shadows of the leaves against sun gave Aura's skin a speckled look as she walked through the forest in peace. Her mind escaped her, ran away, back to the Elven village she grew up in. She admitted most people in the village were arrogant and outcasted her, but still she missed her family and her old home. Her siblings and what few friends she made, had been tugging at her mind as of late. She was sure her old home still stood there, empty- noone dared touch anything of her family's, not after what happened. She wished she could find away back as she walked through a clearing she usually slept in. Blood was splattered on the ground; something went hunting without her knowing. From the looks of it, a regular cougar had found prey. Supsicious, she walked on, cautious yet still deep in thought when she heard an "Ungh." She stopped, looking around. Great. Whatever was hunted still lived, and could speak. A small distance away lay a wounded man, shirt bloodied and ripped, yet barely concious. She walked to him and looked down. He grabbed her shin, and whispered, "Heal me... please," then let his head drop and eyes close. She rolled her eyes and began to concentrate on an appropiate healing spell. The blue jewel resting between her eyes began to glow.
"Curarle!" The man's wounds stopped bleeding, and sealed themselves. He mumbled and fluttered his eyes, then looked up in awe. He knew healers were rare, especially wandering alone- even a human would know that. Lifting his head up, he said,
"Your healing powers are impressive for a human," as she reached her arm out to help him up. She laughed, pulling him up, and said,
"Human? Hah! I'm no human, I'm a-"
"You're an-"
"You're an-"
"Elf?"
"...Underling?" she asked, seeing at once his downturned, floppy ears and shortened height, still holding his hand.

Embarrased, they let go and looked away. They were both fully aware that Underlings and Elves never spoke to each other. Aura smirked, disregarding any sort of rule and began, "Aren't you a little short, even for an Underling?".
"I may be short, but I'm a good enough hunter. By the way,do you know where the Elven village is?" She laughed, playing the part of an arrogant Elf.
"Elven village? You don't want to go there."
"Yes, I do! I'm looking for a girl."
"Hah! You really don't want an Elven girl. They're arrogant, pigfaced, vain, and too good for the likes of you."
"It is none of your business what I want. Besides, I know her already, and love her dearly. Just so you know," he added, "she's beautiful."
Oh, dear, she thought, pitying the lost creature. He really is clueless to the Elven world, isn't he. He is even going the wrong way, and I would love to go back...
Aura then turned around and went the way she knew for so long, the way she had desired to go for a long time. "Come on, then. We've a lot of walking to do in three days," she said, looking over her shoulders.
"...Excuse me? 'We'? I would just like directions, not assistance, Miss. I have a map, thank you though."
"If I recall correctly, I just saved your life. I used to live there, I know perfectly well how to get to my old home. There's nothing in these woods I can't kill, so you're better off with me. I've business to take care of there, anyway."
He stared at her walking in the exact opposite direction he was going. She seemed abrasive, cocky, arrogant, and negative, but he knew she was his only way to Fuega.
"Well then, wait up. Hey, slow down!" He called after her.

--------------------

You're telling me that there's no hope.

I'm telling you you're wrong.

It's good. I was thinking that you didn't put much into the characters description(looks), but realised that you're doing this as a comic. Good luck, hope it goes well.

I like it. The story seems interesting, and the dialogue is fluent. Do you already have more written, or are you just posting it as you write it? Anywho, keep it up.

--------------------

The island bathes in the sun's bright rays
Distant hills wear a shroud of grey
A lonely breeze whispers in the trees
Sole witness to history

ICO-You were there-

i liked it - ya know, you could be a writer - and ya should be, i want to know how that chapter thingy turns out! :-P

--------------------

-In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas Adams
Slow and steady wont win at the gold saucer
-me

Wow, that's pretty good, I like it. Keep up the good work.

In response to the comments:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v76/EverydayAngel/Elf.jpg
*That's Aura (Her name is short for Aurora), only she wears a different outfit. She's a stocky, spunky little thing
*Thanks, I hope it goes well to. It being my story and all.
*I have some more written, and I also have just the rough draft of what's going to happen to flesh it out later. Though I have some already written stuff, too, to update with later.
*Cantaloupes.
*Thanks. My seventh grade teacher once said something about me having the ability to be a world class novelist, but I think she was just sucking up XD
*Thanks, Mon, I'll try.


Now! For the story:

"Saving Scout's Skin."

"And you are sure you know how to make a fire?" Aura questioned skeptically, holding a tiny flame in case. The fragments of visible sky had turned deep blue and purple, as he sat hunched over a pile of sticks that barely passed as fuel. The Underling made visible signs and soungs of frustration before saying,
"I'm... fine. I've gotten along without magic far enough, have I not?"
"Oh. Right, you poor thing." Snap. Tension. Looking her in the eyes, he scowled and stood up. Stepped closer to her.
"Listen, you. I can accept that the rest of your kind believes they are better than mine, but do you have to be like that, too? I thought you said they were all arrogant- like you were any acception! I may not be born with magic, but I can light my own fire. And you know, I do not want to always get by on what another will give me. I don't need your fancy sparks to do my job for me, I wish people like you would realise I am not as pathetic as you to resort to magic."
"Whoa! Take it easy, Scout, I was only trying to help. You didn't have to turn it into a sermon. Have you considered preaching?" She never had an ability to change the mood of a scene, but he seemed to lighten up and forget his outburst after that. His face lightened, and he began,
"We do not have much of a church in our village, and they get little pay. A most undesirable job."


Finally, she thought. He is asleep. She glanced over at the Underling and the dying fire he'd worked for too long to get ignited. It now glowed dull, a pale orange, and tinted his face a bright tangerine; his wavy, short hair looked like gold with pale dashes of light scattered. The fire he had fussed over was dimished. He would be embarassed to see the flames gone out by morning, she knew. It was okay, she could fix it before he woke. She almost pulled out her hand for magic, then thought back to the incident. She did not understand him not wanting the aid of magic. Had he really gone his life without magic? Could he not use it...? If he could do it without magic, then she could, too. She grabbed the pair of extra sticks he'd left from his own smouldering creation and began rubbing them together. She spent moments working with but the sound of her own grunts- this turned out harder than she had anticipated. When she looked down at a hungry flame, she let out a sigh of relief, watching the disfigured shadows creep about the golden leaves when company found its way to the fire, made audible by a low growl. A cougar crouched low and advanced on Scout, intending on finishing his earlier meal. She had a feeling saving Scout's skin would be something she did many times from now on.
"Hungry, are we?" smirked Aura, pulling out her silver dagger and getting ready to defend. She knew she could not magic her way out of this; And it harm none, do what ye will.. At least, she thought, the cougar couldn't pull anything on her in return. She stalked around the campfire, stopping in front of the oblivious Underling who lay between the duelers and begun her match with the cat. He anticipated her and pounced. She pulled her dagger up, prepared to strike.

This post has been edited by RelmArrowney on 27th July 2005 06:44

--------------------

You're telling me that there's no hope.

I'm telling you you're wrong.

Took a second read through to catch the entrance of the kitty, so you may want to work on seperating that a bit and having it communicate better. Interesting story so far, but a bit vague with backgrounds. There going to be any backstory that unfolds whilst this continues...which I dearly hope it does (hint hint nudge nudge)

--------------------

Arts

Farts

Twarts