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Rowplox

Hey, now. That's a completely unrealistic description of me. I never wear bandanas.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Yeah, about that... I, uh, kinda stole him... ( '-')

--------------------

~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

This is good stuff. Hillarious.

Chapter 7
Rest and Relaxation

"Hold it RIGHT there." Came a female's voice, two more shadows coming up behind her.

"Who the hell are you? Look, we've got very important things to do and as much as I'd like to flirt we need cash and food, so get out of the way." MG said angrily as he started to walk.

The two other figures cut him off though, stopping him from proceeding. Things certainly weren't looking good now, was it the city guard?

"You've meddled in our affairs long enough. Now prepare to die by the hand of Mistress Cora!" The person, apparently Cora, said as she took a step forward, a long blade appearing in the hand of her shadowy figure.

"You don't gotta do nothing rash now, hey look, I don't even know these guys!" Zeph said quickly as he took a step back.

"Um... what affairs? Who the hell are you?" ZH raised his eyebrow inquisitively.

"The affairs of the our kingdom you fool! Are you so cold that you don't even remember the evil deeds you've done Skorch?" Cora glared determinedly as she advanced upon him.

The other two shadows began to advance as well, the one on the left wielding a giant staff, the right a giant spiked club. Things did not bode well for our heroes.

"What's a Skorch?" ZH asked, leaning forward a bit from the weight of the armor.

The womans stare blankened immediately "You're not Skorch?"

"Lady, none of us have ever even been in a real fight, how the hell could he be Skorch?" MG glared a bit as he watched her.

"Err, sorry. Let me make this up by taking you to the castle." The woman sighed a bit as the three of them stepped from the shadows.

The woman was quite gorgeous, though leather and metal clad, she had a cloak to top it off, long dark hair cascaded down her shoulders and back. The first man was rather tall and lanky, a magician looking sort in a large yellow hat and a blue robe. The second short but very muscular, a green fellow who gathered very strange looks from Zephir as they began to walk.

"You know you're the spitting image of Skorch? And these other two of Ripple and Shatter. The only one you're missing is Breeze." Cora gave a thoughtful hmm.

"Wow, sounds like a bunch of crappy names from a shitty japanese tv show." MG shook his head slowly.

They had to walk for a bit, but not a long time to reach the castle. Upon which time, Cora flashed some badge, and was permitted entry, along with the others. Zeph made some really odd look at the green man, in which he squinted, wriggled his nose, and furrowed his brow. Upon entry of the main hallway of the castle MG, ZH, and Zeph each became awestruck. Grand tapestries and statues were everywhere, such a lavishly decorated room. But that was not there destination. Cora and her partners led the trio down the hall, and took a right, into the guests tower.

"This is the guest area, just through that door. You three may rest and wash up there, we'll send someone for you when it's time to eat." Cora said rather formally.

"Oh boy! Free room and board?! Now I know how my forefathers must've felt!" Zeph said eagerly as he rushed into the room, leaving MG and ZH with Cora.

"Wow, Zeph had four fathers? That must be one messed up family tree..." ZH said idly as he scratched his chin.

MG shot ZH a devilish glare "I hate you, y-you know that, right?"

"Well, I see you boys have a lot to talk about. I'll see you at dinner, ciao." Cora said as she turned about, and left, minions in tow.

"Hear that stupid? Free food! F-R-E-E!" MG danced with glee as he entered the room, leaving ZH alone in the hall.

ZH immediately got a chill as he glanced around. So alone with the doors closed, so very alone. The silence was deafening.

"Something about this place just isn't right. We didn't even see this castle when we first got to the town..." ZH said, in his first more than serious moment.

A shadow, very very fast swept by the end of the hall, ZH seeing it barely "The deuce?..."

"I guess I better go relax, before some guy stabs me from a portrait..." ZH shook his head a bit as he turned and headed into the guest room, joining the others.

As ZH entered the room, the first thing he noticed was Zeph and MG were both filling their stereotypical roles well. Zeph was asleep in the reclining chair. MG was in the corner, dangling a piece of cheese he had found just out of a mouse's reach. The room wasn't well furnished, but there was furniture at least. The chair Zeph was asleep in, a couch with a coffee table in front of it. In the back corner was two large beds, and off in the room to the right was a poorly decorated bathroom. Yes, the room actually was really large. On the coffee table was a pitcher of water and a basket of fruit. Near the beds another hall led off to the closet, full of clothes of all shapes and sizes.

"Hey, guys... Doesn't this place seem kind of... y'know, kind of odd to you?" ZH asked curiously.

Zeph gave a small mumble as he stirred "Hey... take your voodoo mumbo jumbo elsewhere. Some of us are trying to sleep, you rocker wannabe."

ZH shot Zeph a small glare "No seriously."

"Odd how?" MG asked.

"I dunno... it just gives me chills... I can't really explain it..." ZH sighed.

"Don't worry about it. Just rest." MG finally pulled the cheese from the mouse again, and ate it, before laughing cruelly.

ZH nodded in turn, and headed to the couch. MG headed to one of the empty beds, and all three of them rested, not much else. ZH dreamed of women, MG of violence, and Zeph of food. But they were soon awakened by a rapping on the door.

"Answer the door Zeph." MG said as he sat up in the bed.

ZH gave small mumbles of "Mmm lemony..."

"Why me?" Zeph demanded as he stood, walking to the door.

"Because I said and that's the only damn reason you'll ever need." MG glared stonily.

"Who is it?" Zeph asked as he pulled the door open.

It was the mage from before "Dinner is ready, follow me please." he said.

"Caaaan do." Zeph said as he rubbed his hands together, quite greedily "Hey, guys FOOD."

"Food? What? Really?" ZH literally flew from his bed, toppling Zeph. "Lead away, oh mage."

MG too was there in an instant "Need food now. Need need gimme need."

Zeph gave a small mutter of "Jackass" as he climbed back to his feet.

The mage began to lead to the dining hall "You three seem as though you have not eaten in months."

"I think they were planning on eating me Mr. Mage..." Zeph whispered to the mage.

"Oh. I see. Please, call me FallingHeart. And that person I was with, his name was Phunbaba." FH said calmly as he turned into the dining hall and heading to his seat at the lower officers table.

Cora was sitting at a small, but very lavishly decorated table, filled with the sweetest of foods. She called the three over to join her, ZH and MG fighting to sit next to her, but ZH ultimately winning, which caused her to laugh. Zeph and MG ended up sitting at the other side of the table.

"Me hungry" Phunbaba said as he came over to the table, sitting down next to MG.

"No Phunbaba, your foods over there at your table." Cora said sweetly as she pointed to a small, empty table in the corner.

Phunbaba gave a small mumble and a whimper as he stood from the table and headed to the table in the corner.

"Don't mind him, he thinks he's people." Cora said as she began to idly butter a roll.

Zeph gave Cora a slight look of disbelief "Does he now?"

MG on the other hand, had never looked more pleased. "I think i'm in love."

"Good for you. But I don't think your hand feels the same way." Cora said rather coldly as she got down to business. "You know what occured to me? Maybe you're the ones of legend, y'know the warriors of light to counteract those of darknes. Though, you three are missing one."

ZH nodded, pretending he understood "Right, so, who're we missing."

"I can't say for sure, I guess you'll just have to find him." Cora replied, before taking a bite of roll.

And thus a grand banquet was under way, our heroes and Cora having the grandest, Phunbaba, the puniest. Everyone else a rather mediocre feast, but that was the way royalty worked.

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This one time I punched a bear in the forehead TO DEATH! I still have the scars on my chest. I am the manliest man that ever did man.

League: Z3roHawk
Steam: Zero_Hawk
Wii U: Zero_Hawk
FF14 - Goblin - Zero Hawk <Fiend>

ROFL. He thinks he's people XD XD XD

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If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

This is getting more and more bizzare by the chapter... he thinks he's people? What, does he think he's Soylent Green or soemthing?

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"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

ROTFLIT!!!! Once again, I ask... What the hell!?!?! He thinks he's people?? That one takes the cake!!

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"No matter what happens, I will always be with you... forever." ---- Pocahontas, Pocahontas

"Only those who are already at the top are rewarded without trying."----- Delita Hyral, Final Fantasy Tactics

http://www.ffshrine.org/fft/fft-midi/1-42-back_fire01.mid ---- My favorite FFT battle song

WOW! This was just... best! I can't describe it another way!

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I am a Chimp! I am the newest n00b here!

Quote (Zero_Hawk @ 5th November 2004 01:09)

ZH dreamed of women

What do the Roman numerals "WO" stand for?

Japanese TV show
Where have I heard "he thinks he's people" before?
Anyways, keep up the good work. My lawyer (who I stole back) and I want you to make alot of money off of this.

This post has been edited by Dark Paladin on 13th November 2004 00:57

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Chapter 8

The joint.

MG gave a loud belch as he sat there, savoring the full belly he had for once. Zephir had actually fallen asleep in his chair. And ZH, well... ZH was still feasting hungrily. Others that had finished gathered around the table to watch as ZH gobbled down plate after plate of food.

"You're quite the hungry fellow, aren't you?" Cora said, a brow raised high.

ZH nodded a bit as he chowed down on a biscuit "Yyyyyyyep."

A team of chefs carried in another plate, placing it before ZH before cleaning up and returning to the kitchen. In the kitchen the group of chefs looked incredibly horrified.

"It's just as we've always feared!" One chef said.

"The beast with the bottomless belly! He's COME!" Another yelled out.

The group of chefs peered out of the kitchen, watching as ZH put the plate to his mouth and let the food upon it slide into his mouth. ZH then began to shout for more.

"Quick, get him more food before he starts on us!" A third chef commanded.

The chefs did as told, bringing ZH yet another plate of food, this plate stacked to the heavens with pasta. They then cleaned up the previous mess as ZH chowed down.

"It's not a man, it's a pit in disguise!" Another chef said.

Finally the head chef emerged. The head chef was a portly man, clad in all white. He wore a white apron, and a white chefs hat. In his left hand was a cleaver, in his right was a whisk.

"You let chef Ramone take care of that little bugger. We fix him good. Real good." Ramone, the head chef said.

"Do it quick man! He's eying the children like they're filled with caramel!" A chef told Ramone.

"Yea yea, you don't gotta tell Ramone twice." Was Ramone's response.

So the chef's went about their grand plan, evilly did they prepare a grand feast for ZH. Bigger than what he had already had. But this would surely take care of ZH as well. The main course that is. The main course being a delicious chocolate mousse. The chefs didn't think much of ZH, but they thought this would get him well.

***

"You done yet pig man?" MG asked as he glared a bit.

"I'll TELL you when i'm done!" ZH replied as he hungrily devoured the last bits of spaghetti and awaited more. "Whatcha gotta do to get food around here? Resort to cannabalism?"

Just as ZH began to glance around, eying people curiously, which made them slowly back away. The chef's appeared, led by the head chef. Each was carrying a plate, the head chef carried the chocolate mousse. They came and placed each item before ZH.

"No no, do not worry master ZeroHawk! We have prepared this special feast just for you! Bon appetit!"

The chefs quickly retreated to the kitchen, but they peered out, to watch ZH eat. ZH had moved to dig in, but before he could get a taste of the chocolate mousse, he was interrupted by MG.

"Hey, that looks good. Gimme some." MG commanded.

"No, it's mine. Get your own!" ZH replied as he took the mousse off the table.

"I said gimme!" MG shouted, jumping up on the table and crushing several of the other concoctions.

A loud whimper of "My work!" and then louder thud were heard from the kitchen as MG did so.

MG glared at ZH stonily as he took steps towards him. "Fork it over pal."

"No effin way. This is MINE. Get your own." ZH swiped his finger through it and put it in his mouth, getting a small taste.

"Ohhh, that's it, you're going down pansy boy!" MG dove at ZH toppling him.

ZH and MG rolled on the ground, smacking eachother and getting chocolate mousse everywhere. Though there was still a big chocolatey ball in ZH's arms.

Cora finally stood from her chair, looking rather pissed off. She glared down at ZH and MG.

"ENOUGH! Stand! Now! Both of you!" Cora commanded.

MG and ZH did as instructed, standing and wiping off chocolate, though, ZH was still holding the mousse.

"One more crazy outburst like that, and all you nuts can spend the night in the dungeon!"

"Sorry Cora..." ZH said.

"Yeah, sorry." MG nodded.

ZH brought the mousse up to his mouth to take a bite, receiving a stiff glare from MG. Just before he took a bite however, the center of the mousse collapsed, and a large bowling ball fell out of it's bottom, slammed into ZH's foot, and rolled along the floor.

"OW! Son of a-" ZH began to say but was immediately interrupted by Ramone who came running.

"HAHAHA! I GOT YOU! NONE CAN BEAT CHEF RAMONE!" Ramone pointed at ZH and cackled demonically, his head thrown back with glee.

"OH THAT'S IT!" Cora shouted "Guards! Escort them to the dungeon!"

"Way to go Ramone." ZH grumbled as he started to walk.

The guards had to carry Zeph, since he was so out of it, which was quite an inconvenience. But they certainly didn't mind sticking pointy things to the backs of ZH, MG, and Ramone as they escorted them down to the dungeon.

***

The dungeon was a very dark place, no lights to be seen at all, but the guards still knew what they were doing, putting the four in a cell and leaving them. The footsteps of the guards leaving could be heard. But footsteps were heard again soon after, one set of footsteps. They stopped just in front of the cell. Lights turned on, revealing a tall man with pointy ears and long blonde hair. His eyes were red, and he wore a black cloak.

"I am Sherick-" Sherick began to say "Er... Satan! And welcome to the underworld!"

"...What?" ZH asked.

"The underworld?... y'know, hell?" Sherick replied.

"What about it?" MG said.

"Uh... welcome to it." Sherick blinked.

Zeph gave a small yawn as he woke up "Morning guys."

Sherick snuck up behind Zeph, who was resting against the cell bars "...BOO!"

Zeph's eyes widened as he jumped up and began to shout "AY, CHINGAU! Tu cabron! Caramba y ustedes maricon!" as he ran around the cell.

"NOW do you understand my power?!" Sherick asked.

"Ummm. Nope." ZH said quickly.

"Well fine, i'll just let you rot in there until you do. That means no laser show for you. Jerk." Sherick said.

"...'kay." MG replied.

Ramone had dozed off in the corner, while Zeph ran about cussing angrily. Sherick of course, had disappeared, leaving the group to stew in the prison cell. Eventually boredom began to consume the group, and they all sat down waiting.

"Hey MG." ZH said.

"What?" MG responded.

"Knock knock." ZH grinned.

"Who's there?" MG mumbled.

"Your." ZH grinned some more.

"Your who?" MG raised his brow a bit.

"Your mom's so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out." ZH started to laugh his ass off.

"...what?!" MG glared.

"Nothing! Nothing!" ZH said quickly, making his face rather straight.

"Uh huh." MG muttered.

The two's ears perked a bit as they heard footsteps, two sets this time. Both making their way down the hall to the cell. One of the figures seemed to be breathing heavily. The other sounded as though he was dragging something.

"Shh shh, get against the wall ZH, we'll try to take this guys down as they go by." MG instructed.

ZH did as told and both MG and ZH stood against the opposite walls. Waiting against them, the only thing to stop them from full assault being the cage. The person who sounded like he was dragging something was the first to pass, MG reached through the cage and pulled him into a chokehold, which caused ZH to run over and begin to punch him in the head.

"Ow! Hey! Stop! No more! Uncle!" FallingHeart shouted.

"Hit him harder, he's still concious!" MG instructed.

ZH did as told, bringing a knee into FH's skull. Phunbaba showed up next on the other side, a key in his hand.

"We come, free you." Phunbaba said.

"Ohhh." MG said as he released FH's head.

ZH, of course, punched FH in the head again. FH pulled his head out of the bars and took the key from Phunbaba.

"You guys are lucky i'm still freeing you." FH said as he began to unlock the door.

"Hey, I can still reach you." MG said as he waited.

The cell gave a satisfying release noise and the door opened, out scrambled Zeph, ZH, and MG.

"Quick, shut the door again and lock it, before that chef guy wakes up." ZH said.

MG had taken the key from FH by now, since it was a skeleton key, and he was indeed locking Ramone in. The five then gathered around the dungeon, to plan their next move.

This post has been edited by Zero_Hawk on 10th November 2004 06:06

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This one time I punched a bear in the forehead TO DEATH! I still have the scars on my chest. I am the manliest man that ever did man.

League: Z3roHawk
Steam: Zero_Hawk
Wii U: Zero_Hawk
FF14 - Goblin - Zero Hawk <Fiend>

Y'know, I'm actually fearing where this one's going next now...
Doesn't stop me wanting more of it!

--------------------

"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

Ecks. Freaking. Dee. This is better than 8-bit Theatre!

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Uwao. aooh! I'm Gau!
I'm your friend!
Let's travel together!

haha. So much love for the ToRI. Keep them coming. Fast or i shall show you the power of Duyth.

--------------------

If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

I laughed so much... I think I woke up Dee in the other room or something! XD

That would be the awesomest anime scene ever right there, that whole thing... ^-^

--------------------

~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

This has to be one of the funniest stories I ever read.

I kind of am fearful, in a way, but I'm laughing my ass off as I'm coughing. Being sick and laughter don't mix.

But I want to read more. Keep it up!

Also the characters are wonderfully designed.

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"It's quite a burden to bear, and not everyone realises that. That's why it's just old now. People are different for a reason.

"If all we have is this life, then I want to cherish all the memories of today."

This is getting odder and odder. I'm kinda scared of where this is going too... But don't stop writing because of me!! Alright?!

Anyways, this is the most fun I've had since the Dragon Coaster at Rye Playland!!! I laughed so hard I choked on a Sour Cream and Onion chip!

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"No matter what happens, I will always be with you... forever." ---- Pocahontas, Pocahontas

"Only those who are already at the top are rewarded without trying."----- Delita Hyral, Final Fantasy Tactics

http://www.ffshrine.org/fft/fft-midi/1-42-back_fire01.mid ---- My favorite FFT battle song

Kudos. You got an lol out of me. That takes a lot.
Keep it coming.

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When life gives you lemons... SQUIRT THEM IN PEOPLES EYES! Mwahahahahaha! *Squirt* Ow! Hey, that was my job! *Squirt* Knock it off! *Squirt* I want my mommy! Waaah! *runs off*

The moral of this story is *Squirt* Ow! *Squirt* Okay, okay, no morals.

This one took a bit too long to get done.

Chapter 9
Magic Powers

FallingHeart had led the discussion on means of escape, but half of what he said was out of turn, off subject, or made absolutely no sense. After a long moment of silence from FallingHeart's latest, stupid idea, MoogleGenocide reached over and smacked him.

"Owww, what was that for?" FH demanded.

"Look, you're being an idiot. And if you haven't figured it out yet, you've become the unofficial red headed step child." MG replied. "Now tell me, what're we supposed to do to get out of here? If we get seen they'll throw us right back into the cell."

"Phunbaba, the backpack please." FH said.

Phunbaba promptly handed a large leather backpack to FH. FH in turn unclasped the backpack and pulled out three white sheets, each with two holes cut into them.

"Uh... what the hell are those?" Zeph asked.

"Eyeholes!" FH responded.

MG's face went blank; he clutched his chin, unable to speak. Zeph just began to blink. ZH however found the ability to talk.

"Don't tell me those are sheets." ZH said.

"Uh, yeah. They're for your disguise, stupid." FH glared.

"What the hell are our disguises supposed to be?" ZH raised a brow.

"You guys are gonna be ghosts!" FH said happily.

"You're kidding... right?" Zeph asked quickly.

"Do I look like a kidder?" FH shook his head.

"God I hate you." MG said.

"Just put them on, quick. I think I hear someone coming." FH instructed.

The three begrudgingly did as told, each grabbing a sheet and pulling it over them in such a way so that they could see out of the eyeholes that had been cut into it. Oddly on each 'disguise' the top was a bit poofy. A moment passed and they began to hear footsteps once more. A large man, breathing heavily, was walking down the hall. He wore no shirt, and all that covered his bottom half were some black leather assless chaps. He wore a black hood with eyeholes, and held a whip in his right hand. A loud noise was heard from MG, though it couldn't be determined if it was ghastly wailing, or if the sight of the man had horrified him that much. The morbidly obese man approached them all slowly, each step getting a loud heavy breath from him.

"Have you guys seen some prisoners around here? I'm on torture duty..." The man said.

The three immediately raised their hands, the sheet rising with them, and pointed down the hall, eyes widening. The man, which they thanked god for nodded and immediately kept walking.

"I tell you man... no dungeons complete without a fat impotent torturer in assless chaps." ZH said.

"Shut up. Nobody wants to hear what you think." MG glared.

"Don't make me possess you!" ZH replied.

"You're not really a ghost!" MG shouted.

"...or am I?" ZH's eyes widened as he pointed at MG.

Zeph gave a small cough as he watched them argue again. "We need to get out of here guys, eventually they'll realize we're missing..."

"Yeah yeah, just don't fall asleep on the way out, beanie." MG glared.

"He's crying out for help you know." FH commented as he watched.

MG heard FH's comment and immediately ran up to him, kneeing him in the gut and knocking him over. "SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!"

ZH and Zeph coughed a bit as they began to head upstairs, leaving MG, Phunbaba, and FH to what they were doing. The first area they entered was rather dark, so they stood out pretty well.

"Do you have any idea where the hell we should go?" Zeph asked.

"Uhh.... of course I do!" ZH said.

***

MG was busy beating the stuffing out of FH, while Phunbaba merely watched.

MG tightened his headlock upon FH and dug his chin into the back of his neck "SAY IT!"

"No way! OW! STOPPP! PHUNBABA HELP!" FH shouted as he struggled in vain against MG.

Phunbaba giggled a bit as he watched the furry little man practically choke FH to death.

"OK! OK! I LIKE MEN! NOW LET ME GO!" FH cried.

MG climbed off of him "See, now it wasn't so hard to admit, was it?"

"But I DON'T like men." FH sighed.

"What's that?" MG glared.

"I think Phunbaba is attractive?" FH shifted his eyes back and forth.

"Damn straight." MG scratched his chin "Hey, where'd the other idiots go?"

Phunbaba pointed up "That way."

"Without me? Damnit, they're screwed without me. The idiots are gonna die of death!" MG shook his head.

"So go after them." FH instructed.

"You're not helping?" MG asked.

"I already helped. And stories dictate that the super cool characters that would kickass never join the heroes, they just help." FH nodded.

"Who said you're cool?" MG asked yet again, before walking up and kicking FH in the shin "That's for breaking the fourth wall, ass."

"You just break wall too..." Phunbaba said.

"You want a piece of this too?!" MG glared.

Phunbaba shook his head quickly "No me good, me good!"

"See, I knew you guys would learn soon enough." MG smiled wide as he headed upstairs.

“Is it just me or do they always leave after they get what they need?” FH made a small humming noise.

“Them no like you. You smell.” Phunbaba said assertively.

“Oh, and you’re one to talk?” FH glared.

“Me squish you for jelly…” Phunbaba squinted.

“You’re not an ogre, dumbass. You’re just BIG, GREEN, AND STUPID!”

Phunbaba started to stand, moving towards FH angrily, but he stopped abruptly, and burst into tears. “WHY NO ONE LOVES?”

“Uhhh… I love you?” FH sighed.

Phunbaba merely sniffled, and FH knew he’d be down there a long while.


ZH and Zeph had managed to get themselves incredibly lost in the tower, though nobody had seen them yet surprisingly. That streak of luck of course, was about to end. They were in a long dark corridor, lined with paintings, the floor covered in a thick red rug. Footsteps could be heard at the other end of the hall.

“What do we do?” Zeph whispered quietly as he stared down the hall.

“We use our magic powers to disappear into the wall, duh.” ZH raised a brow at Zeph, wondering how he could be so dumb.

“We don’t have magic powers ZH…” Zeph blinked a bit.

“If we don’t have powers then why the hell are we ghosts?” ZH began to glare.

“We aren’t ghosts either man…” Zeph sighed.

ZH simply shook his head. The footsteps at the end of the hall had grown louder, and a small, shriveled looking old man turned the corner. In his hands was a tall stack of white fluffy towels, just washed. The man hummed a bit as he walked, his senility preventing him from seeing the duo at first. He walked right next to them, nearly passing them.

“Watch this…” ZH giggled.

The old man didn’t seem to hear ZH. ZH then jumped out in front of the old man.

“OOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!” ZH shouted as he waved his hands in front of the old man.

“AHHHHH! IT’S A G-G-GHOST!” The old man cried out as he threw all the towels up into the air turned around.

The old man began to run down the hall as fast as his shriveled legs could carry him, but in his fear he tripped. As soon as he hit the ground he immediately began to claw the ground trying to climb to his feet and get away, which he eventually managed.

“Great, encourage him.” Zeph sighed a bit.

“FEAR MY GHOSTLY POWERS” ZH proclaimed “BWAHAHAHAHA”

Zeph gave a small, pathetic whimper as he shook his head. The old man was still running for dear life, his skin a pale white from the fear he felt.

“GHOSTS!” The old man cried out as he ran down the next corridor.

At the end of the hall he saw a very faint, human looking outline, which he quickly approached.

“YOU’VE GOTTA HELP ME! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN THAT HALL DOWN THERE TO THE LEFT!” The old man shouted as he ran.

The figure heard this and began to approach the man, nearly stumbling on his disguise. It was MG. The man ran faster, running right into MG, and then letting out a loud gasp.

“AHH MORE OF YOU!” He shouted as he turned and ran like hell yet again, this time jumping out the nearest open window, a loud splash being heard as he hit the moat water.

“So that’s where the idiots went. Guess I better go find them…” MG gave a small grumble as he moved down the hall.

MG gave small quick steps, nearly tripping on the sheet he wore with each one. Eventually he reached a crossroads in the hall and turned left, walking absentmindedly. But the corridor was short, and he was forced left yet again shortly.

“This should be the hall… why aren’t they here?…” He asked as he began slowly walking, head turning back and forth momentarily.

He could hear tiny giggles, but paid it no mind as he walked. At about the middle of the hallway, he felt that he was being watched. He took another step forward and suddenly both ZH and Zeph burst out in front of him, from seemingly nowhere.

“BOO!” ZH shouted.

“…What the hell are you doing?” MG asked, twitching slightly.

“Uh… we scared you…” ZH replied.

“What he said.” Zeph murmured.

MG glared for a moment before reaching up and slamming both of their heads together. “Ok, shut up knuckleheads. I’d be gone already if I didn’t need mules- err, partners.”

“What do you mean?” Zeph asked as he rubbed his head.

“Well, y’see, I found the treasury while I was looking for you guys, and they appear to have some sacred equipment that could be of use to us before we go out on this journey thing.” MG said.

“Ah I see. Meeting typical conditions of the story.” ZH raised his hand, index finger pointing up as he attempted to appear intelligent.

“…Yeah.” MG sighed. “So, lets go rob these guys, then we can be on our way. Apparently these idiots think we’re ghosts, so this can work to our advantage.”

“You’re not a ghost, I’M a ghost. You’re a short pathetic shell of a man.” ZH grinned, “Did I mention you’re short?”

“I’m going to shove a cork into your brain, I swear to it.” MG muttered as he twitched yet again.

“Hey there’s no need for violence now guys…” Zeph tried to calm them down.

“Hey, isn’t it about your naptime?” MG glared.

“Uh…” Zeph sighed.

“Ok fine. But I think we can all agree on one thing. I am the best ghost ever. You guys just stay right here, I’ll go get the loot and be right back.” ZH announced. “Watch me now.”

ZH held his hand up for a moment before turning to face the wall. He closed his eyes tight, making a face that one might make if they were constipated, before running straight into the wall. His head slammed into the cold stone, and he fell backwards.

“So much pain…” ZH whimpered.

--------------------

This one time I punched a bear in the forehead TO DEATH! I still have the scars on my chest. I am the manliest man that ever did man.

League: Z3roHawk
Steam: Zero_Hawk
Wii U: Zero_Hawk
FF14 - Goblin - Zero Hawk <Fiend>

lol. I have to say it was worth the wait. So much laughter from me.

Edit

I love you Zeph

This post has been edited by MogMaster on 19th December 2004 20:06

--------------------

If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

ditto XD

ZH running into the wall capped off the whole thing so well

Edit

Now for some fanarty goodness...

If you ask my opinion, it'd make a great tee shirt.

This post has been edited by Zephir on 19th December 2004 08:31

Attached Image


--------------------

~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

The end of the latest chapter made me choke on my drink. But it's a happy kind of choking...

And Zeph, that would be teh Bestest Shirt EVARRRR!

Edit

Pfft! I originally said "lastest" in that first comment. How sad is that?

This post has been edited by SilverFork on 19th December 2004 18:35

--------------------

Words of Wisdom:

If something can go wrong, it will.

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. - Murphy’s Law

Boing! Zoom! - Mr. Saturn

that was great! The last part just topped it all off.

rofl @ Zephie's tshirt

--------------------

I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...

Wow, this new chapter really packed a punch on my funny bone! I nearly cracked five of my ribs!!! This story is great!!!

--------------------

"No matter what happens, I will always be with you... forever." ---- Pocahontas, Pocahontas

"Only those who are already at the top are rewarded without trying."----- Delita Hyral, Final Fantasy Tactics

http://www.ffshrine.org/fft/fft-midi/1-42-back_fire01.mid ---- My favorite FFT battle song

This is as great as always! Hillarious new chapter.

Also, nice t-shirt Zeph

--------------------

"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

About time. You gonna make us wait that long for the next chapter?

I would buy that shirt

--------------------

"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

Hmmm... maybe he should seriously consider publishing this and selling a tee-shirt...

♪ Oh, Hawwwwkieeee~... -_^

--------------------

~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

Bump

Time for more ToRI fanartage from your guy for ToRI art, me. -_^

• From left to right: MG, Zeph, and ZH. All doing what they do best.
• If you can't make out what Zero Hawk's shirt reads, it says, "50000 Watts Mother Fucker".
• I'm not even gonna lie, I had to trace a pic of a cadillac since I'm not good at drawing cars... the process was complicated (and the most work of the whole pic), so I'm not even gonna go into it unless you're very curious. Phew... So much work...
• Obviously MG wrote that sign... with his serial killer handwriting...

Edit

Missed a spot... cleaning... ah, there we go.

This post has been edited by Zephir on 31st December 2004 01:57

Attached Image


--------------------

~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

Lol. I look so pissed. Its awesome.

--------------------

If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

That is so awesome Zeph.

Chapter 10
Treasure

MoogleGenocide stared at ZeroHawk in utter disbelief. You could tell he was disgusted by the look on his face. ZH continued to lay weakly upon the floor, mumbling.

"Can ghosts die?" ZH queried.

"...stupid ones." Zephir nodded.

The hall had taken on quite a chill as ZH stood up. Zephir seemed to be the only one to notice, however. MG's teeth were gnashing silently as he pushed ZH forward.

"You guys feel that?" Zeph asked.

"Yeah. Something grabbed my butt..." ZH said contemplatively.

"I don't think anything would be crazy enough to touch you, living or dead. You'll give them lice." MG sighed.

"...How do you give a ghost lice?" Zeph raised a brow.

"Well... you could give him POLTERLICE!" ZH's eyes widened as this was said.

"Ok, you're an idiot, let's go." MG mumbled to himself as he pushed ZH again "Be a good meatshield and see if theres anything around the corner."

ZH nodded slowly, his sheeted figure gliding quickly down the hall. He moved up against the wall, leaning for a moment before slowly inching his head to the right, to peer around the corner.

"Nothing..." ZH commented as he peered.

Slowly, ZH took some steps back, before making a running leap to the other side.

"Ninja jump!" ZH shouted as he flew threw the air.

ZH's next task was to peer around the corner yet again. Seeing nothing, he slowly began to creep down the hall. Though always did he remain up against the wall.

"It's clear guys!" ZH shouted to them.

"We know." MG who had followed ZH the whole way responded.

"DON'T DO THAT!" ZH shook for a moment.

MG simply shook his head as he gestured for them to continue.

"Ok, i'm pretty sure it's this way..." MG nodded.

ZH nodded in response, before the inner workings of his mind began to act up.

"So guys... do you believe in this whole fate and destiny thing. Or do you think we have free will?" ZH began to scratch his chin as he walked.

"...what?" MG gave ZH a wild look.

"Yeah, free will, definitely. There's nothing making me like this." Zeph nodded.

"Ok, well think about this. What if our free will, affects the fate of the world." ZH queried

"See, you're just doing that thing where you babble about obvious things again. Now just shut up until we get to the treasury, then you'll have plenty of shiny things to amuse you." MG began to walk ahead of the two.

"Ok but what about this. What if we don't affect the world right and as a result time repeats itself?" ZH watched his two companions awaiting an answer.

"That's actually a pretty good theory... what'd you do with the real ZH?" Zeph raised a brow at him.

"Oh stop being idiots you two." MG mumbled to himself as he moved even further ahead, turning around the corner "Time doesn't repeat-"

MG gave a small gasp as he watched two ghostly figures jump out at a third. Quickly he turned around.

"Let's go this way, yeah!" MG pushed them away from the hallway before they could glance down it.

"The hells the problem?" ZH asked curiously, Zeph nodding behind him.

"There was a big rock, I figured you would um, y'know, trip and die. Or something. Yeah, that works." MG's eyes shifted as he continued pushing them on.

"So help me... if I ever had to be around two of these buffoons I would go on a killing spree. One is bad enough." MG thought to himself as he began walking normally again.

"So how much farther?" ZH asked quickly

"Ummm... should be right around the corner... there's a big golden door." MG replied.

Zephir seemed to begin taking a keen notice of things, when the word Gold was mentioned. There was definitely a gleam of mischief in his eyes. MG led the way, one turn right and then straight down the hall. Eventually a massive door began to appear, towering over the trio.

"So MG... is that... puuuuuure gold?" Zephir began to rub his chin.

"I dunno, maybe." MG began studying the door intently "C'mere stupid."

ZH nodded and walked forth.

"...was I talking to you?" MG asked

"Well you said stupid so I-" ZH began

"No. The answer is NO. I was talking to the other moron. Why don't you be a good boy and turn your sheet into a noose?" MG glared.

ZH laughed "Stop teasing."

MG simply glared as he waited for Zeph to walk over to help him, which he eventually did.

"Whatcha need?" Zeph asked.

"Use your mad mexican skills to pick this lock." MG commanded.

Zeph watched MG for a moment "You mean thief."

"We've been through this before, thief, mexican, minority. They're all the same thing!" MG sighed.

"Right. Because THE MAN, that's you. Is always keeping us down and grouping us up! We'll steal the clothes off your back, esse." Zeph began to study the lock.

"Oh well GEE. I guess I better stop keeping people down." MG stifled some laughter.

"Thank you." Zeph slipped a small pin out of his sleeve and slid it into the lock, beginning to fumble around to unlock it.

"Oh C'MON you can go faster! I watch television y'know. I KNOW what you people can do. Like that one lunatic that stole one car, and then another, and then another. All in under an hour." MG rambled.

"Yeah... yeah..." Zeph sighed as he continued to mess with the lock. "Almost... and... GOT IT!"

The lock released and the door slowly glided open, letting a golden glowing light shine out into the room.

"Gee." ZH pondered "You'd think that a thing full of riches would be more heavily guarded."

"Well it's not, so shut up." MG instructed as he eagerly entered the room.

"Yeah chill ZH." Zeph said "Oooh, I can get some rims, and a necklace, maybe some earrings. I CAN BUY A SOLID GOLD CAR!"

ZH raised a brow curiously as he began to walk behind them. The immediate path led to a balcony, and leading down from the balcony were two ladders, one on each side of it. In front of the balcony was a massive pit of more treasure than one could possibly imagine. And to top it all off, leading off of the balcony was a diving board. MG took a running jump off of the diving board into the money pit below, whilst Zeph quickly descended the stairs.

Zeph quickly grabbed a very large, pure gold coin. MG snatched it from him immediately of course.

"What'd you do that for?!" Zeph asked angrily

"I want it." MG said.

"There's tons just like it!" Zeph sighed

"There's a big difference between this one and those." MG responded

"There is NO difference between that one and the others. Sheesh." Zeph muttered.

"No... er... The difference is... SHUT UP!" MG said indignantly.

ZH shook his head solemnly as he slowly descended the stairs.

"Honestly doesn't something about this strike you as odd?" ZH raised a brow as he leaned against the wall.

"Since when are you so serious? Shut up and loot fool." MG instructed

"Oh alright, since you asked so nicely." ZH pushed off of the wall, hand pushing an odd looking brick in on accident.

"Eh... that's not good." ZH frowned.

Almost instantly the floor began collapse, many things falling into a dark abyss that was opening. MG seeing this happen began to run up the stairs, but as he reached the sixth step the stairs turned into a slide, and he went tumbling back down to the collapsing floor.

"I'll use my ghost powers to save us guys! Quick, grab me and i'll let us melt into the wall!" ZH instructed as he moved up against the wall.

"Yeah, like someone would trust you with their life. Why don't you do something useful instead of killing my brain cells?" MG glared as he jumped away from another crumbling section.

Zeph, being a quick thinker removed his sheet and began to tie it into a make shift rope while dodging the crumbling floor sections.

"Fool! You'll lose your ghost magic!" ZH gasped.

MG gnashed his teeth as he watched "Do something quick, we're running out of floor here!"

"Almost... there!" Zeph finished tying the makeshift sheet rope a large hole at the end as a result of the knotting.

Zeph spun the rope in circles for a moment before launching it up, the hole enclosing upon the diving board above.

"Climb quick!" Zeph instructed

ZH began to climb but MG climbed up his back, kicking him in his head as he rushed up.

"MoogleGenocides and women first!" MG shouted as he held onto the rope for dear life.

ZH made another quick attempt to climb, Zeph behind him. Just as Zeph's feet left the ground, the last section of floor crumbled. All the treasure was gone, and their situation wasn't much better. Each individual gave a sigh of relief as they held onto the rope, but the relief was short lived. The fabric began to slowly tear at first, and then it began unraveling faster.

"Uh guys..." ZH said.

"WHAT?!" MG glared down to him

"Well I was going to point out the rip, but I guess before we die, i'll just say this. Remember me as I was. A god among men." ZH nodded

The rope snapped and all three went slowly tumbling down into the the empty abyss. Cries of hatred could be heard echoing from the mouth of MG.

"I NEVER GOT TO TRY THAI FOOD!" the chasm echoed MG's voice.

And then there was silence.

This post has been edited by Zero_Hawk on 31st December 2004 09:33

--------------------

This one time I punched a bear in the forehead TO DEATH! I still have the scars on my chest. I am the manliest man that ever did man.

League: Z3roHawk
Steam: Zero_Hawk
Wii U: Zero_Hawk
FF14 - Goblin - Zero Hawk <Fiend>

LOLLERSKATES!

--------------------

If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way