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Pre-crash

· Atari 2600: At least it isn’t an Odyssey2.
· Atari 5200: STUPID [blank] JOYSTICK!!!
· Intellivision: You like Baseball. You want to play Baseball.
· Odyssey2: The keyboard is the key to...ah, [blank] it.

Neoclassic

· CD-I: Because video games are overrated.
· Game Gear: Who needs batteries when you have color?
· Nintendo: Now you’re playing with power. Fascist power.
· SEGA CD: Because grainy, choppy FMV is better than no FMV at all.
· SEGA Genesis: [blank] Nintendo, [blank] Tonka -- you’re all gonna pay!
· SNK: The future is now. Isn’t that an oxymoron?
· Virtual Boy: 32 bit, without the annoying non-red colors.

Other

· Neo Geo Pocket Color: Nobody is going to buy this.
· Nintendo 64: CDs are dumb.
· Playstation: Unexplainably number one.
· X-Box: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

Rejected Corporate Slogans

· Acclaim: We got mad licensing skillz, boyee.
· Aruze: The future of SNK staff-developed pachinko is now.
· Culture Brain: We are the makers games of for the Nintend sistem. OK!!!
· Konami of America: Who gives a [blank] about Gradius 2?
· Nintendo: Third parties? We don’t need no steenkin’ third parties.
· SEGA: We make add-ons that Nintendon’t.
· SNK: We’re sick of making money from the MVS. We’re moving into losing money through machines that don’t have a chance, now.
· Sony: We are Kutaragi of PSX-Borg. Resistance is futile -- you will be assimilated.
· Squaresoft: We’re the masters of linear, CGI-driven, emotional melodramas disguised as games.

This post has been edited by Rangers51 on 3rd July 2004 15:08

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The world before the fall...
Delightful is the light of dawn...
Noble is the heart of man...

Dell- Melts In your house- not in the Box.

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If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way

Nintendo- Hey! You buy-a my games, or I'll carv-a your back with an ice-pick-a!

--------------------

Uwao. aooh! I'm Gau!
I'm your friend!
Let's travel together!

SNK. The other white meat.

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Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.

~Pacifist Badge, 1978

Gateway... setting your hardrive on fire so that you don't have to.

Edit

This came from a result of bad engineering of a Gateway computer that a friend of mine had once... his hardrive just decided to combust one day.

This post has been edited by Sephiroth on 28th June 2004 16:37

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Climhazzard is the timeless evil robot who runs some of the cool stuff at CoN (mostly logging chat, since there are no quizzes at the moment), all the while watching and waiting for his moment to take over the world. -Tiddles

Natsume: We do too have spell-checkers. Honrst!

Microsoft: Still making grown men cry. One day at a time.

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Words of Wisdom:

If something can go wrong, it will.

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. - Murphy’s Law

Boing! Zoom! - Mr. Saturn

Compaq... because we don't want your computer to be any better than "crap".

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~Status Report~

* Completed... Dragon's Head
* Completed... Soldiers of the Empire: Disciples (release pending)
* In Progress/Undecided... Of Love and Betrayal
* Planning/Assembly... Where it all Began

Sega - Nobody bouight 32x or sega cd (except that weird DC8 kid) maybe they'll buy 32X- CD!

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<Nealio> Seymour sounds like evil Winnie the Pooh

Microsoft...buy our products or face another earthquake.

--------------------

moé in the streets, senpai in the sheets

Squaresoft: Stupid Quack, U ARE SOFT!

XBox: The four letter word of the new millenium.

Dreamcast: Casting our dreams aside was what we wanted. Really.

Atari: Proving that you can't name consoles after animals.

Xbox- ignore the suspicious green glow. play, play, PLAY!!!!

Nintendo- our handheld can soo kick your heldheld's ass!

Doom 3- it's coming out this year...seriously. we mean it this time, it's really coming out.

MGS: Snake Eater- legs...trembling...under weight...of...massive...hype!

FFXII- three things are inevitable in life: death, taxes, and a new final fantasy every year.

989 Sports- just when you think we're gone, we show up next year with another sub-par sports game.

Halo- damn! this game blew up faster than Eminem!

This post has been edited by Malevolence on 3rd July 2004 18:31

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moé in the streets, senpai in the sheets

SEGA - We'll be back!
NINTENDO - Our consoles suck, but ph34r 0ur h4ndh31d5!
SQUARE - You'll buy it. You know you will.
SONY - One way or another, we'll get your money.
MICROSOFT - BUY US OR WE WILL DESTROY ALL HUMANS!
ATARI - Why did we try to domnate nintendo... WHY, god? WHY!?!?
ALIENWARE - We look cool, but our prices are higher than Jim Breuer

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Uwao. aooh! I'm Gau!
I'm your friend!
Let's travel together!

Lions Gate Films: No known relation to the Voltron Force, but we continue to audaciously exploit that allusion.

"X-Box: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down." I love this one.

Virtual Boy: Applaud our system until your hands become the color of our graphics.

Square-Enix: The storytellers' game company.

FFXI: Wanna join the heap or the hype? You can do both now!

Sonic the Hedgehog series: Too fast to be recognized for any significant achievements.

Mega Man: I only "Rock" in Japan.

I don't know much about La Pucelle Tactics, but from what I've heard about it...
La Pucelle Tactics: The game that teaches how to discipline naughty children.

FF SERIES TIME!
FF1: We don't really know how to do anything yet, but we think you should buy it anyways because we think it's good.
FF2: This one should also be good because the first one was.
FF3: Modern Social Structure Implementation: You can change your classes!
FF4: Now we start telling better stories.
FF5: Must be good because it didn't make it to the States.
FFMQ: Must be good in the States because we made it for you guys.
FF6: Easier to play and complete than it looks!
FF7: Sephiroth is DA MAN.
FFTA: Don't open magical books heedlessly, kids!

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Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

SONY - Working on world domination since 1946... (grumbles) stupid WWII
FF5 - The lowest castes in India are sure STOOPID. Just switch class on the menu screen!
Enron - Because we steal money from those "poor grandmothers" like no one else can.
Athens Olympics 04 - It's time to get Greece-E!!!
Social Security - The only legal pyramid scam in town.
Bush 04 campaign - Kerry has weapons of mass destruction!!!

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Get me off this Disciplinary Committee so I can play any FF except for FF8!!!

Harvest Moon, AWL: You know your life sucks, so try this one. It's got cows.

The Mario Series: If you like watching fat Italian men jump around, do we have a game for you.

Legend Of Zelda: For those who like the strong silent type.

FF: It keeps going and going and going...

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TURKEY! - (The only way not to get blocked for using Fowl Language)

Enron: What's in your wallet? Seriously, let us see

Final Fantasy: The long-lasting refreshment

Microsoft: If you don't buy it, I will send an army of golden robots to kill you all

Kerry: And next time I get a paper cut, I'll have FOUR Purple Hearts!

Bush: (Kerry and Edwars are a front for Al-Quaeda)

Edit

And one thing, shouldn't this be under General Topics now?

This post has been edited by Sherick on 20th August 2004 00:41

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I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...

Quote (Sherick @ 19th August 2004 19:40)

Edit

And one thing, shouldn't this be  under General Topics now?

Um... oh yeah, you're right. Of course I contributed to that, but then again I'd forgotten it was General Gaming Chat since it included all types of slogans since Magicite started it. ... and while I'm at it:

Caves of Narshe - Getting rid of all that pesky non-computer non-video-game time.

(Keeps an eye on his warn level)

This post has been edited by Ejoty on 20th August 2004 00:59

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Get me off this Disciplinary Committee so I can play any FF except for FF8!!!

CoN - Owning your lives one day at a time.

McDonald's - We don't fry the whole chicken. No really, we don't.

Dixie Outfitters - We swear you won't get jumped by four black guys while you're using the restroom. (No racism intended).

Vans - Off the Wall. Seriously, and then you break your neck! It's so radical, dude!

Halo 2 - The future of 30-year-old men. No, wait, that wasn't rejected.

PS2 - We failed to mention the lasers in our first products don't work.

(Football) GA Bulldogs - Weel kick yore asses and run yeh ova witch our tractas.
The above was intended solely for io_rage. I'm a native of Georgia myself.

That's all my slow-witted self can think of.

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Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live! - Bob Marley

Microsoft - Buy... or die

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«À l'aventure compagnons, je suis parti vers l'horizon! J'aurais mieux fait de rester au lit, ce donjon, il est pourri!» - Pen of Chaos

Nintendo - Mario is our Jesus.

Sony - Forcing game imports since 1834.

Sega - Even Sonic couldn't save our hides.











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It's gonna be a glorious day
I feel my luck can change

I love this thread.

Hat's off to Sherrick's "enron" slogan. I laughed out loud at my desk at that one.

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Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.

~Pacifist Badge, 1978

well these are real mis-translated slogans that a friend of mine sent to me via email, enjoy

When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in
leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."


Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was
read as "Suffer from diarrhea."


Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make
a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It
takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."


When Vicks first introduced its cough drops on the German market,
they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v"
is f - which in german is the gutteral equivalent of "sexual
penetration."


Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its
product, only to learn that "Puff" in german is a colloquial term
for a brothel. The English weren't too fond of the name either,
as it's a highly derogatory term for a nonheterosexual.


The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries.
"No va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.


When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back,
they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty
literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your
Ancestors Back from the Grave."


When Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product
something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The
only problem was that the characters used meant "Bite the wax
tadpole." They later changed to a set of characters that mean
"Happiness in the mouth."


A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a
curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for
manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.


When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label.
Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures
on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.


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And when the band you're in starts playing different tunes,
i'll see you on the dark side of the moon.... - Pink Floyd

Eagle may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Playstation - Hey where else can you get a crappy DVD player for $199 dollars...oh and it also plays games.

Nintendo - Hell at least we are not owned by Bill Gates

X-Box - We may not play DVDs but for your life savings, we will let you play online.

These two are for my favorite teams

Cleveland Browns - screw us and we will hurl beer bottles and dog bones at you

Ohio State Buckeyes - If we lose there will be a riot, if we win there will be a riot...but it will be alot more fun.

This post has been edited by BGrugby on 23rd August 2004 03:40

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War is for the participants a test of character; it makes bad men worse and good men better. - Joshua Chamberlain

U sir R a n00b >:-( - Cactuar

Quote (AflyingWeasel @ 22nd August 2004 19:15)

well these are real mis-translated slogans that a friend of mine sent to me via email, enjoy

When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in
leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."


Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was
read as "Suffer from diarrhea."


Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make
a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It
takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."


When Vicks first introduced its cough drops on the German market,
they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v"
is f - which in german is the gutteral equivalent of "sexual
penetration."


Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its
product, only to learn that "Puff" in german is a colloquial term
for a brothel. The English weren't too fond of the name either,
as it's a highly derogatory term for a nonheterosexual.


The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries.
"No va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.


When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back,
they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty
literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your
Ancestors Back from the Grave."


When Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product
something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The
only problem was that the characters used meant "Bite the wax
tadpole." They later changed to a set of characters that mean
"Happiness in the mouth."


A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a
curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for
manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.


When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label.
Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures
on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.

damn you! i got points docked in class today. when i read this, i fell out of my chair laughing.

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moé in the streets, senpai in the sheets

This one is a local one.

Back in the twenties or thirties, the town decided to have a slogan contest for the what they were going to put on the arch (Yes! The famous Modesto Arch!). The winner was "No one's got Modesto's goat!".

Fortunately, someone had some brains, and instead went with "Water, Wealth, Contentment, Health".

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kame, tortue, tortuga, schildkröte, tartaruga, turtle

"Arthur Dent?"
"Yes."
"Arthur Philip Dent?"
"Yes."
"You're a total knee biter."

Hentai - All characters are at least 18 years old.