Posted: 25th June 2004 23:47
|
|
![]() Posts: 1,394 Joined: 13/3/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I'm not sure if there is a length requirement for a piece of fiction to be accepted by CoN. If so, then this will most likely be too short. But I'm very fond of it, so I'd like to share it here.
I can't say why so few writers tackle Cyan as their main character. I can only say that I don't regard him as a possible main character for a large work of fiction because of the age difference there is between us (18:50), his medieval English puts up yet another linguistic barrier and his history is filled with such tragedy that a guy like me could propably never understand. But I gave it a try. The fic is short and sweet. No, scratch that. It's not sweet at all. It's fairly disturbing, in fact. Enjoy, and give your reaction if you have something to say, Fame or Flame. Edit A beetle. A black beetle, about the size of Cyan his thumbnail. Cyan looked at it with a lazy kind of concentration. The beetle was making its way up a brick which once had been part of Doma’s castle. The beetle stopped in its tracks when Cyan placed a finger in front of its path, blocking the way to where ever the beetle wanted to go. The beetle turned around. Cyan now blocked its path back to the grass. He gave the beetle a push. It moved one of its six legs and remained where it was. Magnificent strength for such a tiny thing. Thinking of days (long) gone, Cyan placed his finger on the back of the beetle and pushed. The beetle was trapped. Slowly and thoughtfully, Cyan’s thumb went down, against the beetle and then through the beetle. Cyan wondered where Sabin was, if he was still training himself or perhaps others. He could feel the brick trough the remains of the insect. He moved his finger down, painting an ‘l’ on the brick. The world before the fall Delightful is the light of dawn Noble is the heart of man. The world after the fall Sickening, this light of dawn Rotten is the heart of man. All that is left is slaying Cyan had learned a lot since Kefka fell. He heard his own voice a few years ago, as if it was another man’s voice. “Never will I be able to forgive Kefka.†He knew better now. He had done some thinking. Poison was odd material. You could kill an army with it, without them knowing what hit them. Was not there anything worse? Was not there anything better? Poison always was looked upon as something only used by assassins and other men without honor. But honor was false. Death was true. Honor was a thing invented by men, and men where, when you thought about it, useless, stupid, crawling over the earth like… …like beetles. Death was the only thing that could seperate mankind from the earth. And once you came to the conclusion that death is a good thing and any kind of honor an illusion, life becomes a lot more clear. A lot. The world before the fall Delightful is the light of dawn Noble is the heart of man. The world after the fall Sickening this light of dawn Rotten is the heart of man. All that is left is slaying Cyan was a religious man. Never to a Goddess, no. But to his own religion, Cyan had taken an attitude of obsession. It was, after all, a very beautiful religion. Cyan looked at the world below him. A chasm. He started Praying out loud, his body swaying in the wind on the sound of the words. The world before the fall Delightful is the light of dawn Noble is the heart of man…. Before he continued, he heard something. He stopped. He knew there were people behind him. For a moment, his mind balanced on the edge of calculated madness and a frenzy. He heard his name, almost forgotten. “Cyan!†He turned around. He knew who these people were, but they meant little to him. They meant very little period, come to think of it. He started a speech, started on something that a lesser man then this new Cyan would say. He would forget what he had said later, but there was one thing he remembered forever. “I shan’t leave the world as it is.†Thinking of this and laughing inside, he followed them out of his own hiding. This post has been edited by Djibriel on 27th June 2004 10:33 -------------------- |
Post #49374
|
Posted: 26th June 2004 02:42
|
|
![]() Posts: 2,034 Joined: 29/1/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Wow. Thats insane. For a short work it does well at capturig the tortured soul of Cyan. The revelation that comes with being given the burdens he bears. I must say i love it.
-------------------- If you've been mod-o-fied, It's an illusion, and you're in-between. Don't you be tarot-fied, It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean? ~Frank Zappa Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way |
Post #49389
|
Posted: 26th June 2004 13:55
|
|
![]() Posts: 2,591 Joined: 17/1/2001 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I like it :-) It's fine that it's short, and actually, if you poke around in the ff6 section for fanfiction, you'll see short pieces called "songfics".
I do want to put it up, but I have two before it in the queue. Umm...and while you're waiting for that, you'll want to correct one consistent error. It's beetle, not beatle. A beatle (or Beatle) is something like John Lennon, Ringo Starr, Paul McCartney, etc. Also, you did: >against the beatle and then trough the beatle. - should be through I personally don't use Cyan much as a main character because I'm not good at getting his pseudo-Old English speech down (it's not even really old English, but that's what most people liken it to). -------------------- I had an old signature. Now I've changed it. |
Post #49421
|
Posted: 26th June 2004 15:03
|
|
![]() Posts: 245 Joined: 26/5/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Very good short fiction piece, I like its overall feel (very dark and morose). The only problem I see is that you need to check your spelling.
-------------------- Don't worry, I'm not going to garrote you. |
Post #49425
|
Posted: 26th June 2004 23:03
|
|
![]() Posts: 1,394 Joined: 13/3/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Through.
Will this old demo never stop hunting me? When I came to see if the responses to my work, I suddenly noticed that there was 'beetle' in the title, not 'beatle'. Iecalled myself an idiot wor making such a stupid typo indthe title. I was very surprised1that it's beetle. And if KoW has spotted any other fpellingderror besides the ones Tlena pointed out, then I would appreciate it if he'd give them to me. -------------------- |
Post #49486
|
Posted: 27th June 2004 00:38
|
|
![]() Posts: 741 Joined: 5/7/2001 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I'll make one contribution to this. This is what Cyan said at Mt. Zozo exactly:
The world before the fall... Delightful is the light of dawn... Noble is the heart of man... Reason being, I don't think your changes are intentional, but seeing as my mind cares nothing for the intricacies of writing, I wouldn't know. -------------------- |
Post #49500
|
Posted: 27th June 2004 01:06
|
|
![]() Posts: 245 Joined: 26/5/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote (Djibriel @ 25th June 2004 18:47) whereever...conclussion. I found some: wherever, conclusion. Sorry, I'm picky. This post has been edited by KingofFigaro on 27th June 2004 01:07 -------------------- Don't worry, I'm not going to garrote you. |
Post #49503
|
Posted: 27th June 2004 10:38
|
|
![]() Posts: 1,394 Joined: 13/3/2004 Awards: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
A warm-heared thanks to those who spotted errors. I have fixed them, and have actually re-written two sentences I felt didn't 'flow' as nicely as they should.
Concerning songfics, I never cared much for them. They too often have the teenage-angst feeling to them, and those few that I've read failed to leave a decent memory. Original concept, though (for whoever was the first, of course, since it's hardly original anymore). -------------------- |
Post #49552
|