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Hey. I've been coping with mental depression since 2004. And my life has been horrible since. I've been cutting myself, and having suicidal thoughts and have been pushing away friendships and have been looking towards alcohol for support. I visit a therapist once a week. But I feel like before I started going to be a therapist, that I've destoryed any friendships and have pushed away friends. Usually I feel hated by other people and not wanted, and that leads to being stand-offish and sending others away, and desires to commit suicide.

The loosing of friends has been tough, and life has been tough. But life during the past few months has been getting even tougher. There is this girl who is teasing me and calling me a annoying attention seeker than nobody wants to hang around. Also round other people she acts like she's peaceful and that she's never harmed a fly. She's the opposite of me, she's the type to make friends easily because people believe in her innocence. Because she's picked on me having the mental illness, she makes me furious and angry whenever she acts innocent and guess well, not a bully to other people. Because they see her as a good and nice person, and that's not really the truth. But this girl has been destroying my life.

Life has been sucky since '04. And was kind of hoping that '010 would be a good year. The year that I got healthy and off the medication. But this girl has spoiled things, and now my depression has doubled, and I'm harming myself even more and the committing suicide is looking better than ever. I don't mean to push my emotional troubles on to everybody's shoulders here, but do you think that anybody here would be able to help ?

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Currently playing Chrono Trigger !!
Currently looking forward to Don't Know.

Quote (ZidaneTribal @ 14th December 2010 07:23)

committing suicide is looking better than ever.

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
STOP
DO NOT PASS GO
DO NOT COLLECT $200

A girl I had gone to summer camp once committed suicide. There were easily hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people at her funeral. It was terrible. One of the most depressing things I have ever seen in my life.

I'm clinically depressed as well, so I definitely know what it's like, as well as what it's like to have people unfairly pick on you. The drugs and the therapy help, but they're no miracle cure.

What is your situation with your interactions with this bitc-I mean, girl? Is she a classmate? Co-worker? Is it a situation where you can avoid her completely? In my experience, Occam's Razor is often the best solution; I had a terrible high school experience, and transferring schools was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Listen - alcohol is never the answer, and suicide sure as hell isn't. If you ever need to talk, always feel free to email or PM me.

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EGG TOSS
YOU CARRY
EAT A BAG
LEMON-DY
HEAD SAUCE
JIM CARREY
IN A BEAR
HEAVEN PEE
DAFFY-ROTH
- brentalfloss

Well I can tell you for one, no matter how bad it seems, never forget that someone somewhere does love you. Whether it be family or friends or whatever, someone does care about you, you just might not see it. I went through a dark period where there were a couple times when suicide seemed like a good option, but I pushed all those thoughts away and tried to focus on the good. I tried to remove all negative influences and make sure that everything I did was what I wanted to do, that I had a good time doing it. Whether it be driving around blasting your favorite music, or going into a field to look at the sky, find something that you can use to clear your head, something that you like to do (it can be something where you have some alone time, or being with people that you like being with), things become a lot simpler when you don't have to worry about anything. As for the girl, she's obviously trouble and you don't have to put up with her, just avoid her and if she persists, confront her about it, I'm not saying do anything violent, but talk to her.

Trust me, things will get better. I didn't think happiness was possible for a very long time, but I got through it and I can honestly say that I am happy pretty much every day. You just have to find something that makes you feel good and stick to it.

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Aujourdhui a commence avec toi.

Quote (dont chocobos rule? @ 14th December 2010 07:39)

if she persists, confront her about it, I'm not saying do anything violent, but talk to her.

I was going to put this in my first post, but I had forgotten to.

If you do confront her, make sure:

• You do it where it's just the two of you
• You stay calm - if you get upset, she will still see it as a victory for her.

I know that when one is depressed, one often lacks the drive to do the things one loves doing, but at least try to push yourself to do whatever it is you love to do. Try to get your mind off the things that are troubling you.

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EGG TOSS
YOU CARRY
EAT A BAG
LEMON-DY
HEAD SAUCE
JIM CARREY
IN A BEAR
HEAVEN PEE
DAFFY-ROTH
- brentalfloss

I had a close friend in 7th and 8th grade that moved to a different high school, and we drifted apart. He killed himself three weeks before graduation.

I can't help but remember the phrase I read in a psychology book: "a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Look, things are tough for you. Most of us will find it hard to completely understand. But you don't want to be another statistic. There's always hope. Seek out help, professional help. There are people that can help you. Please don't end it, not while there is still hope... and there's always hope. If it's a physical problem, then you can fix it. If it's someone, or everyone, around you, then you can escape and free yourself. Find people that will care for you as you should be cared for. We care for you; I wouldn't tear up for you if I didn't; someone I only know by a screen name.

Hey, maybe someday you and I will meet, face to face. Or you'll meet someone here, and things will change. And you will be stronger for your trials.

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Praise Be To Helix!

I've been dealing with depression for as long as you have. Exactly the same time frame. If you kill yourself I'll find you in the next life and smack you repeatedly. I'm going to be blunt and you probably won't like it but you should:

1) Stop cutting yourself because it only makes you look needy and like an idiot. Do you not have a sense of pride? You best get one soon.
2) Start being proactive about things. Keep track of one important thing everyday that you want to make sure you do right today. Do that for a couple days and then make it two important things and then three...
3)Physical exercise has a better effect on physical and mental well being than any pill will ever have
4) Start paying attention to nutrition as well. Sound body, well nourished body => sound, well nourished mind
5) Think of all the bastards that aren't better than you that will get to live life better another day. You may have been dealt a shitty hand. You can't change that. However, you can change the way you play it.

That girl sounds like a real ***ch. Sweet and innocent my ass. She's purposely just screwing with you. She obviously doesn't care for you if she does those things to you. She may act all sweet and innocent but obviously she's just an attention yearner herself and even if you did get with her you probably wouldn't want her anymore after a short time. She sounds like she may be a slight gold digger as well. Anywho, it should be noted that she may be right in some aspects though. Truthfully, in terms of improving your depression how well has discussing it with others really worked? IMO the affect is minimal. It's all on you and it always has been. For now you should not look to others to make you happy. You control your own fate and you always have.

I agree with others in terms of going to the bottle for support. It's not a good thing to do. I COULD understand if you were doing so in a social situation though. However, you should still try to limit yourself and not binge drink. Anyways, I hope this all helps. I enjoy discussing such things because it helps me focus on my problems as well while trying you help you out.

Seriously though. I will find you.

And if you don't complete the above up magically in one day just remember: "Nothings perfect. The world's not perfect. But it's there for us trying the best it can and that's what makes it so damn beautiful." Roy Mustang

If you want to divulge your woes more in the future feel free to PM me.

Zach

This post has been edited by sojithesoulja on 14th December 2010 16:54

Ehh...a very uncomfortable topic. I've had three people very, very close to me commit suicide, so I can say beyond any reason of a doubt don't do it, because it changes those affected totally and irrevocably. If you're depressed and stuck in a rut, try changing your locale, it's a fairly painless fix and, more importantly, will get you away from those who are teasing you. Not to say that somewhere else would necessarily be any better, but at least you'd have a new perspective on things, which can be refreshing. Just remember, death is absolute, whereas life is malleable and can be shifted. If these people are tormenting you, avoid them, and more importantly, who cares what they think? I have some of the same problems you do, about feeling very awkward among most people, and I just keep it in mind that they're nonentity, ignore them or avoid them if you must, it's not like they have any real effect on your life, so they shouldn't have an effect on your well-being. and as soji said, exercise can help tremendously; not only does it get your brain pumping out more pleasurable chemicals, but it gives you something to DO, on your own time, which helps you feel more in control of your life.

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"If art doesn't risk upsetting expectations and challenging its audience, it can only stagnate."

It's hard to give you specific advice because I don't exactly know your situation/age/what you can do, but you can start by changing the way you view a few things.

You're very strong to deal with losing your friends. It's much, much easier to deal with things when you have friends who support and love you, no matter what, and to know people want to see your life get better. It's not impossible to do alone, you just have to remind yourself you're a very strong person with or without them. Maybe later on in life you guys can be friends again, or maybe it's time to make new friends.

I can tell you that the best way to deal with someone who's looking down on you and criticizing you is, as they say, never let 'em see you sweat Don't let them know they hurt you, because if they're trying to hurt you, they just won. Forget that. My rule is no one gets to call me out on something they don't like about me but me. If you don't like it, move on then and talk to someone else. Don't let them make you feel bad because they want you to. Not their choice.
Another way is to obviously trivialize what they say in the same crowd they're using to say mean things to you.

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You're telling me that there's no hope.

I'm telling you you're wrong.

ZT hasn't posted since starting this thread. I really hope she's alright...

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EGG TOSS
YOU CARRY
EAT A BAG
LEMON-DY
HEAD SAUCE
JIM CARREY
IN A BEAR
HEAVEN PEE
DAFFY-ROTH
- brentalfloss

My heart goes out to you, ZT, wherever you are. I hope you'll be spending the holidays somewhere warm, both physically and emotionally.

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"Some fight for justice. Some fight for law . . .
. . .Cecil, what will you fight for?"
~KluYa

DON'T.
COMMIT.
SUICIDE.




Okay, we have that out of the way, right? Trust me, it isn't fun, especially if it doesn't work. Mental hospitals = ew! Besides, they might make you room with a creeper who's trying to get you hooked on weed!


Uh, anyway! I'd say "you need to get this girl, and get her HARD!" but really, that would just make things worse in the long run. Um, do you have anyone you can talk to? I don't know how old you are, but there has to be SOMEONE with authority over both of you. Where do you come into contact with this chick? School? Work? If it's at school, tell a teacher. Kids can get suspended for that kind of thing, and teachers can lose jobs for not believing students. If it's at work, tell your boss! If she's your boss, tell her boss! Just tell someone who will believe you. You could try expressing yourself through art, too. I know a lot people like poetry, but maybe try sketching something? Trust me, it will get better. I've been through similar stuff.




...And on a less serious but still equally critical note - DO NOT watch Neon Genesis Evangelion! It makes you feel SO MUCH worse in these kind of situations, especially the last few episodes!



Good luck.


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"When we think there's no hope left, we keep looking until we find some!" - Claire Farron

What kind of help do you want?

If you need help, PM me. Period.

And like everyone else said... do not kill yourself.

I'm having similiar problems, probably to a lesser extent, but still. The best cure that I know is... just do something you like. That girl sounds like a bitch, just ignore her even if it's hard. Hurting yourself will only make things worse, and suicide is disrespectful to the people who love you (they exist, even if you don't realize it).

I really wish I could give you better advice, but that's all I have to say.

I just want to apologize for making the people here of CoN worried, and also want to thank everybody so much for all their help and guidance. Thankyou.

This post has been edited by ZidaneTribal on 15th January 2011 08:56

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Currently playing Chrono Trigger !!
Currently looking forward to Don't Know.

Quote (ZidaneTribal @ 15th January 2011 04:55)

I just want to apologize for making the people here of CoN worried, and also want to thank everybody so much for all their help and guidance. Thankyou.

No problem from my POV. Afterall, we're like a family here, sort of, one that doesn't see eachother's faces, lol. I know that things will get better for you, if you keep hope and a good perspective on things.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (ZidaneTribal @ 14th December 2010 07:23)

Because she's picked on me having the mental illness, she makes me furious and angry whenever she acts innocent and guess well, not a bully to other people. Because they see her as a good and nice person, and that's not really the truth. But this girl has been destroying my life.

She sounds like a clinical psychopath. Seriously: manipulative, hiding behind a façade, doing this for her own amusement. Jeez.. she sounds like the one with the real mental issues.

It's good to hear you're still okay.

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www.youtube.com/blinje
The victor sacrificed the vanquished to the heavens