Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic

Well my dad found out that I had bought myself some womens clothing. So he gets mad for about a week he may still be mad. But my mom talked to him about how I wouldn't be acting this way if he would spend more time with me. By the way they are divorced.

So my mom brings up something my dad said to me about a year ago. I told her not to bother him about it. But she gets on to him about how he told me I wasn't his. They get into an argument I don't know who hung up on who but...

Now my mom and my aunt want to sue my dad for causing emotional trauma to me. Now I'm caught up with all this crap around me and I suffer from manic depression and half the time now I'm thinking.

Cigarettes
Alcohol
Death

And I've got none of it kind of glad right now I don't have the 3rd but hey at least I can vent here and maybe get some advice on how to smooth things over. I just wish things would get better my life just sucks.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

well right off the bat, i can tell you that none of those things will help your case (maybe the first if cigarettes calm you down, but i havent found them to), especially not the third one. i think the best course of action would be to talk things over with your dad, make him come to terms with the fact that you are his child and that he should love you no matter what you choose to do with your life. i think things will get better if he can be made to see that.

--------------------

Aujourdhui a commence avec toi.

Thoughts and wishes to you to get through this.

Don't smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death, or...die yourself to death, man. 'Cause dead guy can't post on CoN.

But yeah, try to figure out something for yourself to do. Perhaps, start writing a story or writing music, or play some games. Or if you've got a job, that should offer you some part of the week where you don't have to face this crap. (Though if you are unemployed, don't feel bad; its "sup, join the crowd" in an economy like this.)

And if you still wanna rant at someone, and have no one to turn to, you've got us here.

--------------------

Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

Thanks. Sorry I took so long to reply I feel asleep after my post last night. But I don't think talking to my dad is gonna do much But thanks for being here guys. And don't worry I feel better right now so I'll be aright for now at least.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Worse has come to worse. My dad is saying my house actually belongs to him and not my mom. She has been paying the mortgage to buy the house for years and supposedly he says me and my mom were only supposed to live in the house till I turned 18 and that he thinks he is being the good guy by letting us live here.

So if all this is true if I ever come out of the closet completely he could take the house.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 9th September 2010 19:38)

Worse has come to worse. My dad is saying my house actually belongs to him and not my mom. She has been paying the mortgage to buy the house for years and supposedly he says me and my mom were only supposed to live in the house till I turned 18 and that he thinks he is being the good guy by letting us live here.

So if all this is true if I ever come out of the closet completely he could take the house.

Has your mother spoken to her lawyers? I would guess that sound legal advice is what you need in this situation. Who owns the house, whether he has the right do kick you out, whether you need to think about leaving, should have legal council to answer.

--------------------

Praise Be To Helix!

It sounds like they are going to to have to duke things out in court but, that is between them. DO NOT BLAME THIS ON YOURSELF and more importantly do NOT let them involve you. Coming out of the closet requires the right timing IMO. This does not sound like a good time for you or your family in my opinion just keep it on the DL. Wait till you move out and are self sufficient and don't conform to stereotypes of what you think gay are supposed to be. It's all BS. You are you.

(This may come as a surprise to the more veteran posters on the board [or it might not]) I'm 21 years old and not out to my family. They are hardcore mormon and now is not my time or theirs. Opportunity cost is the thing. What will you gain by coming out of the closet and what you lose? What will you gain by staying in the closet and what could you lose?

In my opinion my family's relationship with me is something I would lose and all i would gain in the fact that I was being honest, which is important, but just not as.

We are here for you, look at all the posters responding if people that only know you over the internet care this much there has to be something there that others care a lot about as well. My cousin who was like my little brother killed himself and I never fully recouped. You don't want to do that to anyone buddy.

PM me we can talk. I've been there, my parents were going to divorce too. Just take it easy and take a step back fromt he situation. Write me anytime

Quote (Phunbaba @ 10th September 2010 03:31)

It sounds like they are going to to have to duke things out in court but, that is between them. DO NOT BLAME THIS ON YOURSELF and more importantly do NOT let them involve you. Coming out of the closet requires the right timing IMO. This does not sound like a good time for you or your family in my opinion just keep it on the DL. Wait till you move out and are self sufficient and don't conform to stereotypes of what you think gay are supposed to be. It's all BS. You are you.

(This may come as a surprise to the more veteran posters on the board [or it might not]) I'm 21 years old and not out to my family. They are hardcore mormon and now is not my time or theirs. Opportunity cost is the thing. What will you gain by coming out of the closet and what you lose? What will you gain by staying in the closet and what could you lose?

In my opinion my family's relationship with me is something I would lose and all i would gain in the fact that I was being honest, which is important, but just not as.

We are here for you, look at all the posters responding if people that only know you over the internet care this much there has to be something there that others care a lot about as well. My cousin who was like my little brother killed himself and I never fully recouped. You don't want to do that to anyone buddy.

PM me we can talk. I've been there, my parents were going to divorce too. Just take it easy and take a step back fromt he situation. Write me anytime

Thanks I haven't been checking this for awhile but I appreciate the support.

As far as my mom getting a lawyer she can't afford it at this moment but as soon as she can she said she is getting one.

This post has been edited by seraphimdreamer777 on 4th October 2010 05:39

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

There may be groups that might be willing to sponsor her, such as foundations working to stop domestic abuse, or such.

--------------------

Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

Quote (Glenn Magus Harvey @ 4th October 2010 02:06)

There may be groups that might be willing to sponsor her, such as foundations working to stop domestic abuse, or such.

Definitely, but she must be proactive in elisting their help quickly. You need to see if any group will back her or help her before this goes further.

--------------------

Praise Be To Helix!

Sounds like to make progress towards a better state of being in your case, you're going to want to get out from underneath both of their overshadowing influences. Jobs might be tough to get in some regards due to the economy but it'd help work your way to a rather self liberating independence if you could work towards the goal of moving out to somewhere nearby. Also Glenn has rather astutely pointed out, give you something to think about other than the home life in the meanwhile. If you're lucky and do become independently self-sustaining, your father may even see it as reason to look to you with a little more respect. However I wouldn't get my hopes up on that last bit since, to be quite frank, he sounds like an overly domineering thick-headed jerk.

Quote ("seraphimdreamer777")

Now my mom and my aunt want to sue my dad for causing emotional trauma to me.

This is tricky since with your new found "affinities" it sounds like you could use the help of a professional that you might otherwise not be able to afford. On the other hand, I can't imagine that being the center of a lawsuit would do anything except make you feel like a source of confliction between your parents, like how a 6 year old might feel if caught up in a custody battle. Lawsuits are also a bit of a burden, even to just be around as it is with the stacks of paperwork, court hearings and potential analysis under pressure...

I'd rather avoid all the heartache myself if at all possible since the added stress might just be all too much to bear in the meanwhile.

Oh right, one more thing:

Quote ("fixed")

Cigarettes
Alcohol
Death

These things solve nothing and might even make manners worse.

This post has been edited by Tonepoet on 6th October 2010 14:12

--------------------

Role reversal at its finest.

Um, why should your dad care whether or not you own women's clothing? It's your body, you decide how to dress it.(On a side note only REAL men can wear pink right. )

Don't let him get to you. It's your life, you live it. There will come a point where he will either have to deal, or miss out on being your dad.

And stay away from smoking and cigarettes. I can only speak from personal experience, but I find it really uncomfortable to be around people who smoke. Good luck, and best wishes.

--------------------

"When we think there's no hope left, we keep looking until we find some!" - Claire Farron

I quit smoking for the most part except when I'm around my drinking friends. Don't worry I've been drinking responsibly and I never drive drunk then again I don't drive at all. As far as death goes suicidal thoughts come and go but I'm in control.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

That's good to hear. See, things can't stay like complete s*** forever.

And I really like Tonepoet's "fixing" of your first post.

--------------------

Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing.

You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey )

Well my mom is worried tonight now cause I was drinking and had enough to get buzzed or what ever you call it when you had enough to feel it. But not enough to be officially drunk and put the first verse of West Side Story's I feel pretty in another forum.

She's mainly being paranoid again I think because she's worried that I guess I'll be killed or bullied to death or something. But these people already know about me and are accepted towards me so I don't know. It just bugs me the way my mom gets sometimes.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Sucks that your family life has become total crap. I don't know what I can contribute to this but I am curious as to why you still live with your mother if you are at least over 18 years old? I checked your profile and it says you were born in 1983 -- wouldn't you already have had a job and moved out of the family house by now?

P.S. Cigarettes and alcohol won't make the flaws of your life go away. And as far as suicide goes: unless you want to be branded by 4channers as "an hero," then I think you should go and seek therapy (depending on your medical insurance). Also, try medication for your depression.

Hmm I'd say:live life the way you want.

If you want to dress in womens clothing,do so.

But try not to get into too much trouble and call yourself too much attention.


--------------------

We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Whee! Necroposting is fun!

At any rate, I'm glad to see that there's more than one transperson who's a CoN member. Just stick with it, hun. It'll get better in the long run, don't worry, okay?

--------------------

"Some fight for justice. Some fight for law . . .
. . .Cecil, what will you fight for?"
~KluYa

To answer your question Alien Hunter I live with my mom who is mostly against my lifestyle but she does tolerate it because she is getting old and works a job that can hardly support her. Plus I'm disabled at this point I'm borderline autistic and clinically depressed and get as check. that hardly supports me.

I hope to go back to school and finish my education but at this time I have no way to get to school. If I can do that and get a job I could function at which I dream of being a game designer or somewhere in the field of making video games. Then I'd still be living with my mom just to help her out.

Oh and thanks Miss Ronin. BTW no offense but are you a Christian of any kind and if so what denomination would you say would be the best for someone like me. I'm Southern Baptist at the moment but if I ever have the courage to let go of my church of which I have emotional bonds with most the people there. I just need to know if there is a Christian church out there for someone like me. I've been raised Christian and strongly believe in Jesus but I know in my heart that he wouldn't turn his back on people who truly believe in him regardless of sexuality...

I'm just asking because I have a friend who is homosexual and I think he's Pentecostal which I believe is Christian but I'm not sure. I guess if I do decide to leave maybe I could try his church

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 10th December 2010 05:56)

I just need to know if there is a Christian church out there for someone like  me. I've been raised Christian and strongly believe in Jesus but I know in my heart that he wouldn't turn his back on people who truly believe in him regardless of sexuality...

I'm just asking because I have a friend who is homosexual and I think he's Pentecostal which I believe is Christian but I'm not sure. I guess if I do decide to leave maybe I could try his church

Liberal Christians are quite tolerant of homosexuals and transsexuals/transgenders. Try and look for an online Christian network that is highly supportive of these sexualities...

Also, finding the *right* Christian Church for yourself is pointless because even if you do become a "Pentecostal" (which is a VERY fanatical branch that encourages you to fall up front in Church and cry yourself over nothing) you'll still get in trouble with the anti-LGBT fundamentalist nutcases. There will always be other branches and churches attacking the ones you have in mind, because sadly, most arguments with Christians are between Christians instead of between Christians and non-Christians.

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 9th December 2010 23:56)

Oh and thanks Miss Ronin. BTW no offense but are you a Christian of any kind and if so what denomination would you say would be the best for someone like me. I'm Southern Baptist at the moment but if I ever have the courage to let go of my church of which I have emotional bonds with most the people there. I just need to know if there is a Christian church out there for someone like me. I've been raised Christian and strongly believe in Jesus but I know in my heart that he wouldn't turn his back on people who truly believe in him regardless of sexuality...

I'm just asking because I have a friend who is homosexual and I think he's Pentecostal which I believe is Christian but I'm not sure. I guess if I do decide to leave maybe I could try his church

I'd suggest checking out a Universal Unitarian church. They are really just an open and accepting forum for exploring your spirituality, whether you are athiest or Christian. Open to really any beliefs out there. They really try to follow some basic Christian principals, like loving one another, and being open and accepting of others, which many Christian religions seem to have fallen away from.

--------------------

"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

Quote (Fadien @ 10th December 2010 15:18)

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 9th December 2010 23:56)

Oh and thanks Miss Ronin. BTW no offense but are you a Christian of any kind and if so what denomination would you say would be the best for someone like me. I'm Southern Baptist at the moment but if I ever have the courage to let go of my church of which I have emotional bonds with most the people there. I just need to know if there is a Christian church out there for someone like  me. I've been raised Christian and strongly believe in Jesus but I know in my heart that he wouldn't turn his back on people who truly believe in him regardless of sexuality...

I'm just asking because I have a friend who is homosexual and I think he's Pentecostal which I believe is Christian but I'm not sure. I guess if I do decide to leave maybe I could try his church

I'd suggest checking out a Universal Unitarian church. They are really just an open and accepting forum for exploring your spirituality, whether you are athiest or Christian. Open to really any beliefs out there. They really try to follow some basic Christian principals, like loving one another, and being open and accepting of others, which many Christian religions seem to have fallen away from.

That sounds like a good option. I also think there are more denominations that do accept homosexuals and present more progressive ideology in general. Look up the different denominations, and see what they believe and support.

--------------------

Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 10th December 2010 00:56)

Oh and thanks Miss Ronin. BTW no offense but are you a Christian of any kind and if so what denomination would you say would be the best for someone like me. I'm Southern Baptist at the moment but if I ever have the courage to let go of my church of which I have emotional bonds with most the people there. I just need to know if there is a Christian church out there for someone like me. I've been raised Christian and strongly believe in Jesus but I know in my heart that he wouldn't turn his back on people who truly believe in him regardless of sexuality...

I'm just asking because I have a friend who is homosexual and I think he's Pentecostal which I believe is Christian but I'm not sure. I guess if I do decide to leave maybe I could try his church

I'm afraid I'm not a Christian. I'm actually an atheist, but I can at least tell you that if you're looking for a church that would accept you without question, then I would go for a Unitarian Universalist Church. UUC is sort of like a church for everyone, there's no set doctrine or anything like that, and you get all kinds of people from atheists to agnostics to liberal christians going there.

--------------------

"Some fight for justice. Some fight for law . . .
. . .Cecil, what will you fight for?"
~KluYa

I guess I could take Blitzsage advice because I believe strongly in God and that Jesus is the only way to Heaven which I know can be controversial to some people but it's the way I believe. But thank you all of you for your advice.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 11th December 2010 22:03)

I guess I could take Blitzsage advice because I believe strongly in God and that Jesus is the only way to Heaven which I know can be controversial to some people but it's the way I believe. But thank you all of you for your advice.

I suppose the question here is what you're looking for in a church. If you're looking for a church where everyone espouses the same beliefs you do, but have no problem with LGBT members, then you're probably on your own there. The church your looking for is more than likely too small to really be widely known. I would check with your local LGBT groups to see if there are any churches they know of that fit the bill.

--------------------

"Some fight for justice. Some fight for law . . .
. . .Cecil, what will you fight for?"
~KluYa

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 11th December 2010 23:03)

I guess I could take Blitzsage advice because I believe strongly in God and that Jesus is the only way to Heaven which I know can be controversial to some people but it's the way I believe. But thank you all of you for your advice.

Yeah, just find people that believe the way you do. They're out there. You're not alone. As for me, atheist is a strong word, that I don't like using. I don't follow any religious doctrine, but I understand anyone's need for faith and spirituality. I just hope that you can find fulfillment. We're all pulling for you.

--------------------

Praise Be To Helix!

I came out to more people tonight/lastnight at a friends birthday party. One was a lesbian who wants to go to a club some time just as friends.

The other three were acceptable but one was a bit homophobic but said it's alright as long as I liked women and other transsexuals/transgender if there is really a difference but go fig. I guess some people can be nice about things even if they aren't quite acceptant.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Quote (seraphimdreamer777 @ 10th December 2010 05:56)

To answer your question Alien Hunter I live with my mom who is mostly against my lifestyle but she does tolerate it because she is getting old and works a job that can hardly support her. Plus I'm disabled at this point I'm borderline autistic and clinically depressed and get as check. that hardly supports me.

So you are autistic hmm?

Interesting,i too am semi autistic.
I've always known though and kinda had trouble with relating since people generally don't understand me.In fact,my mom tells me to write a book since generally the way autistic people think is rather a unknown boundary.



This post has been edited by Magitek_slayer on 22nd December 2010 11:31

--------------------

We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Well I don't know what to do now... My mom has had her second cancer scare in close to one year. If you look at the calender from September to now it hasn't been over a year yet and it's related to the first being the doctors screwed up and were supposed to had sent here to another specialist on the matter.

If my mom dies I think that's it for me. I don't think I can handle it and to make matters worse my aunt who may be there for me despite not agreeing with my sexuality may be dieing to. Cause she has some disease related to smoking all her life but it's not cancer but she is on oxygen. I don't know how much mom I can take. I have the worst luck.

--------------------

I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3

Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here. She may not die even if she does have cancer. My own mother made a recovery from breast cancer and while she complains of the aftereffects of the chemotherapy to this day, her condition doesn't appear to be regressing. A lot of what's going to be important is providing her with emotional support, which may be rather hard in a time where you're in want of it yoursel. Nevertheless it also means you understand how needed it can be, so do be there for her.

I spent many an afternoon in the cancer research center waiting for my mother to get her treatment. Discovered my favorite brand of potato chip in their cafeteria I do so believe. Careful that the hospital doesn't screwup or it could be disastrous. My own mother has problems with lymphedema now, thanks to their sticking her in the wrong arm after extracting a lymph node in surgery. Basically the deal is that the lymph node would eliminate unneeded lymphatic fluid which is created as a byproduct of the body's natural immune response. Without it, the lymphatic fluid backs up and causes swelling and weakens the immune system. My mother has to be careful with that arm if she doesn't want it amputated and the doctors have recommended she avoids appling heat or pressure to that arm. She should't lift more than 3 pounds with it so I often need to help her carry stuff. She's also supposed to be wearing a special sleeve and getting lymphatic massages to manage the condition but has been rather negligent of both.

I'm not so sure how relevant any of that information may be to you but I think it may help to know that you're not alone in suffering the fear. Almost everybody loves their mom and won't want to see her be hurt, while cancer is a rather common threat to people of the modern era. A random statistic I happened to pick up somewhere is that as many as 1/3 people will contract it in some form or another.

--------------------

Role reversal at its finest.