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Ok the day i turned 8 my grandmother died because the person who she was married to made the decicion to discontinue her life support. everyone in my family always suspectted that there was some sort of foul play as he refused an autpsy and he was the only person in the room with her when she had her heart-attack. she was already in the hospitol for a spider bite.

anyways to the point, several days ago he admitted to my mother that he caused her heart attack by choking her and that he was emsely sorry and wishes he could take it back.

this is a great relief but after almost 13 years with about a month before my birthday i cannot bring myself to forgive him at all and find myself dropping into depression more and more each day and have no idea what to do

You don't need to forgive him. However it doesn't do to dwell on it too much so try to take your mind of it, there's nothing any of you could've done after all.

A friend of mine died in a car accident a few years ago, I didn't really know how to deal with the grief since the only experience of death I'd had before then was my Grandad at age 8. Went home and played Jak III, strange feeling.

You finding this out sounds like it brought up an old wound, not sure what I'd do in your situation but I'll tell you time is the best healer.

Talking about it may help too.

This post has been edited by mertinatron on 13th June 2010 12:36

Quote (mertinatron @ 13th June 2010 04:36)

You don't need to forgive him. However it doesn't do to dwell on it too much so try to take your mind of it, there's nothing any of you could've done after all.

Mertinatron is right. Dwelling on it won't help you as you couldn't have stopped it. I'd also echo his sentiments that it's probably a good idea to talk about with people; I think that could go a long way to helping you.

The way I read it, the police should be involved. I'm so sorry dude. I'm sure that very few of us here have ever been through something like that. You have our support. But the police definitely should be involved in that. For him to take her life, when she could still be alive, is horrible, unbelievably tragic.

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Praise Be To Helix!

This may come off as a bit callous, but trust me when I say I speak from personal experience. You will move on with your life, because you don't have a choice. The world will keep spinning regardless of how you feel about the events that occur in it. I don't think time heals the wound, but you do get used to the pain and I think you'll be able to move on with your life when your ready.

I can't honestly say if I ever 'got over' what happened in my life or not. I do know I will never forgive the person responsible and would not hesitate to kill him if given the opportunity, and yet I can't honestly say I hate him. I don't have much of an opinion on him one way or the other as I never really knew him. But what he did deserves death and that's never going to change for me.

I say that to point out that if there's something about this you don't reconcile, that's how life plays out and it's okay for that. There's things I'd sacrifice if I knew it would bring me peace, but I can continue living even if that's not the case and I personally believe that's how it is for most everyone that have to deal with these bullsh-t moments of fate.

This post has been edited by Narratorway on 14th June 2010 05:53

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