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Ok so I am goign to rent an apartment next year. we signed a lease and it extends through the summer. my friend that lived there this year and his roomate's girlfreind who moved in with them are supposed to stay there over the summer and pay the rent. Well as you can imagine this has not worked out well as she has not payed any rent for them yet and is causing all sorts of problems for my two friends she has even begun to bring illeagal things into the apartment. The whole thing is even more annoying because she gets her boyfriend to pay her part of the rent for her and she drags him to the library every day until 3 or 4 in the morning. the whole point is that all she does is get as much from him as possible and giving as little as possible.

the point being that I have no idea how to tell one friend that his girlfriend cannot stay over the summer if she does not pay and that she is just using him and that he needs to do something about it.


i guess this is more of rant but it makes me feel better about this but if anyone has any advice i would gladly take it.

Quote (piggme89 @ 12th April 2010 00:55)

the point being that I have no idea how to tell one friend that his girlfriend cannot stay over the summer if she does not pay and that she is just using him and that he needs to do something about it.

The first part you should have absolutely no trouble with. If someone doesn't pay their way, don't let them live there. The second part is more of a personal thing that your friend has to deal with, but the money thing has an effect on you. With that point, you have to be stern, because otherwise, what happens if she promises to pay, but just decides not to? That's coming out of somebody else's pocket, and you have all the right in the world to kick her out.

Now, whether she's using him, that's for your friend to decide, ultimately.

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Praise Be To Helix!

If she's bringing drugs (What I assume "illegal things" are) into the apartment, and she's not on the lease, I'd say she needs to go. Tell your friend she needs to pay her way, and if you see her with illegal drugs in the apartment again, you'll call the cops on her. That's what I would do, atleast.

Atleast have you and your other friend pull him aside and talk to him. Let him know what you expect from her, and if she fails to meet those expectations, she needs to find another place to stay.

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"And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped” -Sir Bedevere the Wise

Quote (Fadien @ 12th April 2010 03:29)

If she's bringing drugs (What I assume "illegal things" are) into the apartment, and she's not on the lease, I'd say she needs to go. Tell your friend she needs to pay her way, and if you see her with illegal drugs in the apartment again, you'll call the cops on her. That's what I would do, atleast.

Atleast have you and your other friend pull him aside and talk to him. Let him know what you expect from her, and if she fails to meet those expectations, she needs to find another place to stay.

That's true, you can't stand for that stuff. She can bring financial and legal trouble, and you can get in a lot of trouble fast. This is your first apartment right? Well, you have to set ground rules, and you have to stick with them.

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Praise Be To Helix!

Ok, so (i) you're annoyed that your friend is getting taken advantage of and (ii) your friend's girlfriend is bringing illegal things into the house. First of all, don't worry about the rent, you've said that she doesn't pay directly but her rent is covered by her boyfriend, so that's his problem not yours, and something he will learn from if he is indeed being taken advantage of. Sometimes it's best just to let these things be. It might be worse to tell him what you think because perhaps it'll make your relationship with him more tense or simply you might be wrong about her. You'd be doing him a favour by letting him make his mistakes and learn from them. You don't have to worry about the summer rent because he's paying for her. All settled there. If I've read that wrong and she isn't paying her way at all, if she's on the lease then you and whoever else pay your share and tell the landlord that she's the one not paying. Most reasonable landlords will understand that it's their responsibility to stabilise situations like this because it's a lot harder for flatmates to do so.

If she's bringing illegal things into the house you could be liable yourself for knowing and not acting, but only if she's caught, you get a streak of really bad luck and a completely unreasonable set of people and circumstances. It's unlikely but still a possibility. I would talk to her about it. I know it's a lot harder to actually do than just writing it, but find a way. I wouldn't recommend calling the police. Tell the landlord privately as a last resort, they'll either sort her out or call the police themselves and take the flak for doing so rather than you. Her boyfriend would be really angry if you were the one to tip them off.

Generally, just be reasonable and if you can't handle it yourself, go to the landlord rather than the police or her boyfriend to sort it out.

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Scepticism, that dry rot of the intellect, had not left one entire idea in his mind.

Me on the Starcraft.