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I just made this up for fun.

Posted: 11th April 2007 01:02

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I thought I'd share it with you. It's a Squaresoft (no, not Square-Enix) fandom test. It's meant to be funny, so don't take these seriously (although these are based off my own opinions, heh).

1. Which of the following numbers is greatest?
A. 25-4
B. 4^2-1
C. 23
D. The number of crappy FFVII spinoffs that'll be released by 2010

2. Square decided to make FFX-3: Pop Star Rikku. What do you do?
A. Sit around and pretend the game doesn't exist.
B. Find out what airplane is shipping the games here so you can shoot it down
C. Buy the game.
D. Write a nasty letter to Square demanding more FFVI stuff or something new.

3. Approximately how much money would be required to make Chrono Break?
A. $2 Million
B. $10 Million
C. $100 Million
D. Trick question: Square doesn't make Chrono games.

4. Which of these characters is most likely to appear in Kingdom Hearts 3?
A. Locke
B. Crono
C. Kain
D. An NPC from The Bouncer

5. Why does Square want to save Sony from dying?
A. They think they're a Sony-Centric company
B. They're the only company in the world that feels bad for them and won't make games for the Wii
C. They think graphics make better games than gameplay itself.
D. Tetsuya Nomura. Nuff said.

6. How do you support the creators of Final Fantasy?
A. Buy every Final Fantasy game that comes out, no matter how crappy.
B. Go to a costume contest dressed as a character that doesn't suit you at all.
C. Learn Japanese.
D. Boycott Square and buy Mistwalker.

7. Which of these games is Square most likely to make?
A. FFVII for the PS3
B. Chrono Break
C. Some game featuring characters from the newer FF, KH, and Dragon Quest games
D. Kingdom Hearts 3

8. Which would be more unbearable? An FFVII remake or a game starring Rikku and Selphie? Explain.

9. What would you do to get Square to make Chrono games?
A. Make one yourself, and when the C&D comes tell them "you had your chance, now screw you."
B. Bribe them.
C. Kidnap Yoshinori Kitase and Akira Toriyama and put them in an undisclosed location where you brought Kato and Mitsuda to make them do it.

10. Why is FFVII inferior to FFVI?
A. Because spikey hair sucks
B. Amano is the best artist
C. Lifting houses is more impressive than lifting the Masamune
D. Big swords are ugly.

11. How many ports of the original Final Fantasy and FFII do we expect to see?
A. 4
B. 5
C. 6
D. 84

12. You see a man walking down the street. He's cross-dressing and sounding like a little baby. How do you give him directions to Zanarkand?

I tried to add questions about the early games, but I can't stand to make fun of them because they're so good. Anyway, enjoy. -CSM

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Posted: 11th April 2007 02:09

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1- C, while there are a lot of FF VII spin offs......there arent that many (yes i realise the questions are jokes)

2 - i would probably buy it, because i eventually want every FF, and it'd be funny to make fun of

3 - this one didnt make much sense, so A?

4 - Probably Locke, as Kain would be harder to incorporate and comeone....Crono in a current game?

5 - i strongly disagree with this question as i like Sony, and the PS 3 isn't that bad of a system....and i like Tetsuya (mostly)

6 - uhhh......what? i guess buy every FF

7 - Kingdom Hearts 3 because they are making it... eh.gif

8 - Neither, they both would suck (though i would buy both dry.gif

9 - none, i'd accept the truth that it will probably never happen. you are really ticked about Chrono Break aren't you?

10 - because FF VII sucks

11 - 3 because that's all there will be (Origins, Dawn of souls, and the PS 3 pack (i think its for the PS 3))

12 - i would point him towards Meg Ryan's house

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Aujourdhui a commence avec toi.
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Posted: 11th April 2007 03:34
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Quote
I tried to add questions about the early games, but I can't stand to make fun of them because they're so good.
I wouldn't mind, even if FFV, FFIII, or FFVI are mentioned, as long as it's "just kidding" in my book. But it's your quiz, and I'm going to give my best to answer them regardless.

I didn't really get some of the questions, but whatever. I gave it half a shot:

1. C
2. A
3. D
4. B
5. D
6. A
7. C
8. A game starring Rikku and Selphie is much more unbearable in my opinion, because FFVII was better off on it's own name, and a remake to enhance what Square could not have done but wanted to in 1997 is far better than another spinoff.
9. A
10. C
11. A
12. I've never played FFX before, so I'm afraid I have no answer to this one.
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Posted: 11th April 2007 05:56

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1. D

2. A

3. (What the hell is Chrono Break?)

4. B (let's hope)

5. B (maybe?)

6. A (with the exception of anything FFX-2 related, and I have to hear lots of good things about ANYTHING VII and wait about a year before I'll consider it...)

7. D (But I'd like to see A... and maybe B if i knew what the hell it was?)

8. Do I really have to answer that? Both would be painful... a VII remake would be alright graphics-wise I suppose... but the whole Rikku and Selphie thing is totally unthinkable, so I'll have to go with that...

9. D (duress, bribes, blackmail, kidnap their children etc.... ok... not really... but I'd ask really nice? haha)

10. All but D?

11. A (maybe? biggrin.gif )

12. I would mislead him into a cave filled with ravenous, disease-ridden monsters, from which he would (hopefully...) never return... happy.gif

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Posted: 11th April 2007 06:43

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1. Which of the following numbers is greatest?
E. I'm not into numbers. More into letters. Eff-eff.

2. Square decided to make FFX-3: Pop Star Rikku. What do you do?
E. Head out to Comiket and watch the funny cosplayers play a game of "Which Version of Rikku are You?"

3. Approximately how much money would be required to make Chrono Break?
E. More than they think they originally need.

4. Which of these characters is most likely to appear in Kingdom Hearts 3?
E. Hironobu Sakaguchi himself.

5. Why does Square want to save Sony from dying?
E. Because that's what the fans think Square wants.

6. How do you support the creators of Final Fantasy?
D. Boycott Square and buy Mistwalker. (This is, to a small extent, true for me... tongue.gif)

7. Which of these games is Square most likely to make?
E. Final Fantasy Ad Nauseum Superbeous Brainsuckium XVIII (a collection)

8. Which would be more unbearable? An FFVII remake or a game starring Rikku and Selphie? Explain.
It depends, do Rikku and Selphie get to dress up?

9. What would you do to get Square to make Chrono games?
D. Go to the nearest temple and pray, asking for the Wrath of the Gods to befall upon them all if I don't get what I want. It's been done before, and proves rather effective, really.

10. Why is FFVII inferior to FFVI?
E. It's just a fact of life. This game are inferior.

11. How many ports of the original Final Fantasy and FFII do we expect to see?
E. As many as it takes, my friend. As many as it takes.

12. You see a man walking down the street. He's cross-dressing and sounding like a little baby. How do you give him directions to Zanarkand?
Zanarkand? Actually I just point him towards the nearest station and tell him how to get to Harajuku.
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Posted: 11th April 2007 22:17

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Quote (dont chocobos rule? @ 11th April 2007 02:09)
you are really ticked about Chrono Break aren't you?

Isn't it obvious? EVERYONE who's favorite game is Chrono Trigger is ticked. -CSM

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Posted: 12th April 2007 04:18

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Quote (Crazyswordsman @ 11th April 2007 18:17)
Quote (dont chocobos rule? @ 11th April 2007 02:09)
you are really ticked about Chrono Break aren't you?

Isn't it obvious? EVERYONE who's favorite game is Chrono Trigger is ticked. -CSM

I'm not. Okay, my one absolute favorite game might not be Chrono Trigger, but I'm still a huge CT fan. But I think that CT's plot is "closed", as in it is best left alone and untouched, instead of having developers try to expand on it. Stop crying sequel, fankids. Seriously, there are some games that are better off without sequels.

I think I'll start adding to your list, CSM:

13. Which of these things do you quote most often?

A. Shakespeare
B. Family Guy
C. Star Trek
D. Final Fantasy

14. Of the Final Fantasy games, which of the following do you quote most often?

A. Final Fantasy VII
B. Final Fantasy VI or Final Fantasy X
C. Final Fantasy IV or Final Fantasy V
D. Final Fantasy Legend or Final Fantasy III or Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

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Posted: 12th April 2007 12:10

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Chocobo Knight
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13. Which of these things do you quote most often?
E. Star Wars. That is why you fail.

14. Of the Final Fantasy games, which of the following do you quote most often?
A. FFVII. But actually only when I'm quoting to make an example of ever-so-brilliant localization.
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Posted: 12th April 2007 23:29

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Crusader
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uhh...

13. tie between Family Guy, Shakespeare, and Star Wars. any time i team kill someone in any game, i always say "your lack of faith is disturbing...." and i have memorized that Queen Mab speech by Mercutio tongue.gif

14. None of those combinations, IX, VI, VIII, and IV

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Aujourdhui a commence avec toi.
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Posted: 13th April 2007 01:41

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1: D
2: C. OR... If they thought ahead and made it guitar hero guitar control compatable, buy 10 copies, and had 8 of them out to people on the street, play 1, and keep the last one sealed for memoribelia sake.
3: E. Trick Question. Chrono Trigger was lame and Square cut their losses when they should've.
4: E. All of the above.
5: B. Wii hatin' bastards... sad.gif
6: A...ish.
7: A & D
8: Neither. FF VII remake would be nice for the fans, and Rikku/Selphie would be like X-2, only SUPERULTRAMEGAFUN! dry.gif
9: D. You don't. See Answer 3
10: E. It's not. Kefka's a f#$%in clown. Clowns suck. Kefka is the point of completing the game, therefore: The reason to complete the game sucks.
11. D
12. Remind him that he's not real, and he'll just fade away.
13. B
14. A... Just because there is more to quote than any other location in FF-dom.

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Posted: 17th April 2007 22:41

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1. Which of the following numbers is greatest?

D. The number of crappy FFVII spinoffs that'll be released by 2010. This one is the most logical choice, in my opinion.

2. Square decided to make FFX-3: Pop Star Rikku. What do you do?

A. Sit around and pretend the game doesn't exist. I'm not going to kill innocent people who had nothing to do with the making of this game. They'll just not get my money.


3. Approximately how much money would be required to make Chrono Break?

B. $10 Million. I like the number 10.


4. Which of these characters is most likely to appear in Kingdom Hearts 3?

C. Kain. Because he's so cool!

5. Why does Square want to save Sony from dying?

D. Tetsuya Nomura. Nuff said.

6. How do you support the creators of Final Fantasy?

C. Learn Japanese. I will, eventually. First, I must finish learning French. I don't want to walk up to my French teacher and start talking Japanese because I forgot which language to speak.

7. Which of these games is Square most likely to make?

A. FFVII for the PS3. Once again, the most logical choice.

8. Which would be more unbearable? An FFVII remake or a game starring Rikku and Selphie? Explain.

FFVII remake because they've already killed it 100 times over.

9. What would you do to get Square to make Chrono games?

A. Make one yourself, and when the CD comes tell them "you had your chance, now screw you." If they can't do something right, do it yourself. Mine will probably be better than anything Square could come up with.

10. Why is FFVII inferior to FFVI?

C. Lifting houses is more impressive than lifting the Masamune. I love that part of FFVI.

11. How many ports of the original Final Fantasy and FFII do we expect to see?

D. 84. At this rate...

12. You see a man walking down the street. He's cross-dressing and sounding like a little baby. How do you give him directions to Zanarkand?

I tell him to take a right at the diaper section.

13. Which of these things do you quote most often?

C. Star Trek. There are some pretty memorable quotes there.


14. Of the Final Fantasy games, which of the following do you quote most often?

Actually, I pull random quotes from all my favourite FFs.



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Posted: 22nd April 2007 00:19

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1. Which of the following numbers is greatest?
Uhh... I'm not good with numbers, but B looks pretty complicated. B is my final answer.

2. Square decided to make FFX-3: Pop Star Rikku. What do you do?
C. Buy the game... well, I would so long as there is an option to dress her up and do her hair and makeup. happy.gif

3. Approximately how much money would be required to make Chrono Break?
...Ask Square, not me.

4. Which of these characters is most likely to appear in Kingdom Hearts 3?
A. Locke. Or, at least, he should be. We deserve it; us Locke fans were totally cheated by the PSX release with the FMVs. They didn't even show his face.

5. Why does Square want to save Sony from dying?
D. Tetsuya Nomura. *shrug* I actually like his designs, so I had to mention his name somewhere.

6. How do you support the creators of Final Fantasy?
E. Well, I ignore the FFs I'm disinterested in, but am very enthusiastic about the ones I do like, so things balance out... yeah?

7. Which of these games is Square most likely to make?
D. Kingdom Hearts 3. Everyone loves KH. Hell, I love KH and I've never even seen it. XD THAT'S how good everyone makes it sound. Square never misses a chance to cash in.

8. Which would be more unbearable? An FFVII remake or a game starring Rikku and Selphie? Explain.
Well... an FFVII remake wouldn't be unbearable because it would be FFVII. Remade. It'll be just as bearable or unbearable as it was the first time. *shrug*

9. What would you do to get Square to make Chrono games?
No, the real question is what would I do to get FF:U - Before, After, After Spiral, etc. translated.

10. Why is FFVII inferior to FFVI?
I like both. XP You're making Cloud's inferiority complex even worse.

11. How many ports of the original Final Fantasy and FFII do we expect to see?
C. Six. Someone will have to notice by then and gently tell Square that they are becoming the redundancy department of redundancy, right?

12. You see a man walking down the street. He's cross-dressing and sounding like a little baby. How do you give him directions to Zanarkand?
I wouldn't be too worried. Crossdressers tend to turn up in my dreams so I'd just wait for my alarm to go off. ^^

13. All of them except Star Trek. XP

14. Probably A. THIS GUY ARE SICK! D:

This post has been edited by Celes of Blades on 22nd April 2007 00:22

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Burning the candle at both ends
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Posted: 22nd April 2007 02:18

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Well, why not.

1. Which of the following numbers is greatest?
Currently, I'd say "the number of FFXIII spinoffs entering production before the main game is even finished."

2. Square decided to make FFX-3: Pop Star Rikku. What do you do?
Little. It's going to happen anyway. Now where's that 140-proof rum?

3. Approximately how much money would be required to make Chrono Break?
Far less than the game would bring in. Which is too complicated for Square to assimilate. I'd do it for $10 really - and a 5% profit cut. Easy life, here I come!

4. Which of these characters is most likely to appear in Kingdom Hearts 3?
Next question. I never really got into this huge product-placement marketting scam...

5. Why does Square want to save Sony from dying?
We've seen Crystal Chronicles. 'Nuff said.

6. How do you support the creators of Final Fantasy?
Go back in time and undo the creation of FF8. All will be right with the world then - there will be no war in Iraq, no students shooting up schools, and the biggest stain on the FF series' name will still be up for debate until the next big blunder. :) Square wins, we win, everyone wins.

7. Which of these games is Square most likely to make?
A. Come on, let's face it - it sells too well to pass up. B would almost certainly sell just as well, if not better, but Square hasn't given the CT series a poke in far too long to risk it when FF is selling so well. :P

8. Which would be more unbearable? An FFVII remake or a game starring Rikku and Selphie? Explain.
Personally I'm already resigned to seeing an FFVII remake, so I'd have to go with the latter. With any luck it'll also feature dress spheres, no equipment as such but rather a revolutionary system where you draw spells from enemies and junction with them, a total lack of items in dungeons, enemies that make levelling up pointless, excessive and unbearable amounts of fanservice, and will ruin perfectly good and dramatic endings by attempting to resolve them in a positive, happy way. You just can't combine the two worse games bearing the name "Final Fantasy" and expect it to leave your sanity unscathed. You simply can't.

9. What would you do to get Square to make Chrono games?
Tough question. A long time ago, one brave soul attempted the arduous task of making a very high-quality CT remake in an attempt to breath new life into one of the best selling SNES games Square had ever made. Day and night he toiled at his keyboard, pushing his mind and body to their limits with mug after steaming mug of coffee.

But the Elders- er, but Square grew frightened of his growing power. They feared their creation would soon benefit one other than themselves. Unwilling to let the world remember the series that had the power to match Final Fantasy's popularity, perhaps even exceed it, they consulted their lawyers. "Shut him down," they said, "the world of Chrono Trigger must never be resurected for we'd have to make one such game. Remember the contract we've signed with Satan - until Final Fantasy 15, we shall never be free..."

Nodding their heads, the Square executives unleashed their legal wrath on this poor, brave young man and sealed the project away for a thousand years...

It awaits the day Square will come to its senses anew, and sleeps until then...

So in short we have to kill Satan to make new Chrono Trigger games.

10. Why is FFVII inferior to FFVI?
FFVI's system showed far more diversity than FFVII's. The difference in characters' abilities and stats gave you more of a reason to pick different characters for different situations than simply because their final limit break hit multiple times. Both enjoyed a very fair amount of success, but FFVII's was boosted by the number of anime fanboys and new RPG fanatics-to-be discovering a well-publicized playstation RPG.

11. How many ports of the original Final Fantasy and FFII do we expect to see?
With or without any significant differences? :)

12. You see a man walking down the street. He's cross-dressing and sounding like a little baby. How do you give him directions to Zanarkand?
Assuming he's the crybaby I'm thinking of, I tell him he'll find a way home in the middle of the ocean. Seeing as videogame mechanics don't work the same here, with any luck the police'll be fishing his body out in a day or two.


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