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Posted: 1st March 2007 14:49
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Posts: 2,350 Joined: 19/9/2004 Awards:
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"This just in - the Zombie Jesus Clone Army has taken over France. The US, Australia, the UK, and Canada have launched nukes on France in a vain attempt to contain the threat but the Zombie Jesii are too powerful to be stopped by man's weapons. The president of the United States has declared the Jesii may be hiding chemical weapons of mass destruction and has declared a state of emergency. It seems the Jesii are planning on targetting the UK next and crossing overseas to Canada. Now for the weather report."
The thought of cloning Jesus, which is actually reasonably feasible if those are his bones and/or they do have a chunk of Savior Foreskin, is just awesome. Especially if he turns out being some pot-smoking conspiracy theorist who dies of an OD in his early 30s. Man, will a lot of people end up being bummed. I'm curious though. If he were cloned, being the son of god an all, what would we end up with? A "son of god" producing machine or just some regular guy with a strong affinity for white robes and sandals, and a generally friendly disposition? -------------------- "Judge not a man by his thoughts and words, but by the quality and quantity of liquor in his possession and the likelyhood of him sharing." |
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Post #145196
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Posted: 1st March 2007 16:23
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Posts: 612 Joined: 1/1/2001 Awards:
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All we'd have is some dude with Jesus' supposed DNA. Then of course, he'd become a celebrity overnight at birth, get addicted to coke at 15, marry a porn star or something by 18, and die of drug abuse by 24, most likely. Hollywood is awesome.
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Post #145209
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Posted: 3rd March 2007 14:20
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Quote (Neal @ 28th February 2007 16:45) Do you know whose bones are on display here? The answer is...your bones. My bones. Bone's bones. Bone bone bone. You win, Neal, for quoting Earthbound. -------------------- Check the "What games are you playing at the moment?" thread for updates on what I've been playing. You can find me on the Fediverse! I use Mastodon, where I am @[email protected] ( https://sakurajima.moe/@glennmagusharvey ) |
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Post #145342
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Posted: 4th March 2007 00:29
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Question: How can they do anything with DNA other than prove that the bones in each casket are all related? I don't know about you, but we don't exactly have a bottle of DNA de Jesua laying around waiting to be tested.
The claims about those names being together is a million to one or whatever is a farce. I mean, there were 4 Mary's just in the Bible! Who knows how many other ones there were. Then there's the problem of Joseph being a poor carpenter that could never afford an illustrious tomb for his family. And then there's the problem of a simple mistranslation of what the tombstones say. Some carvings into a rock by a regular person aren't exactly like typing or a stamp. A squiggle off and the name changes. Sounds more like James Cameron hoping the bones into Jesus for monetary reasons and fame. -------------------- The clouds ran away, opened up the sky And one by one I watched every constellation die And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard Face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star I should've known, walked all the way home To find that she wasn't here, I'm still all alone -Atmosphere "Always Coming Back Home to You" |
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Post #145364
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Posted: 5th March 2007 13:07
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Posts: 2,336 Joined: 1/3/2004 Awards:
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Good points all, Tidu-who. I think the public and the scientific community will realize this for what it is before long.
-------------------- Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them. ~Pacifist Badge, 1978 |
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Post #145494
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Posted: 10th March 2007 18:06
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Posts: 889 Joined: 20/1/2002 Awards:
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I'm christian, but i'm not angry about this.
This isn't proven. It's saying "may be the the bones of ...." I agree with Tidu, there are no bones to compare with. besides, this is recent issue. In the past, what scientists thought they "proved" something and most ppl believed in their proof, it came out to be false.(for e.g., when ppl thought they found certain missing link, it came out to be some random organism). It alwayshappen. so time will tell. i'm actually interested in this type of articles, but this one itself is a sad article. Why? The only proof they got to show that's tis' jesus's bone is the box and the name on it. ... lol? anyone could have made that. and about jesus's son.... Quote really doesn't prove anything =P besides, lots of people have name "jesus"One of the caskets bears the title, "Judah, son of Jesus," hinting that Jesus may have had a son and yes, if they are really bones of jesus, I wouldn't be christian. If I can find at least "1" thing in bible that's not true, I wouldn't be Christian since then. So far I found none. This post has been edited by Bismark87 on 10th March 2007 18:46 -------------------- I will be there... |
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Post #145773
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Posted: 10th March 2007 18:51
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Posts: 514 Joined: 7/6/2003 Awards:
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Just for clarification, after watching the discovery channel showing of this, they said they found ossuaries with many of the peoples names on them, such as "Jesus, son of Mary", as well as some for simon, james, joseph, and jose (who were supposedly Jesus brothers from the Gospel). Also one was found with Joseph's name on it, as well as Matthew's.
They even had two ossuaries with Mary on it, supposedly one for Mary Magdolene and one for the other mary (I believe there were supposed to be two Mary's, but i cant remember why.) These were all written out in hurried Hebrew, as if they were rushed to engrave and hide the ossuaries. Plus, the officials came to the tomb while the filming was happening and said it needed to be sealed again, even though they had it wide open for the longest time...like they were trying to hide something. The idea that this was a family tomb and had all of these specific names on each ossuary was a 1:60,000 chance it would NOT be his tomb, which was interesting, but could just be for show now that i seen the show. But really, since this is so much of a mystery in itself the actual existence of Jesus , we really cannot say for sure if this REALLY is his tomb, and if any of you are that sure, you must really have a lot of faith then. I believe it can be found on the discovery channels website, or also maybe Youtube if you wanna check it out and missed its airing. This post has been edited by DrkMagimaster282 on 10th March 2007 18:55 -------------------- <DrkMagimaster282> MWAHAHA. I, DrkMagimaster282, shall wreak havoc and destroy... <Mother>TIIIIIIMMYYY...are you planning evil, unkind revenge again in the bathroom?? <DrkMagimaster282>UMMMMMMMM...NO. CoN day is May 27th, 2005 Join elder-geek.com for unbiased reviews, no console wars here... |
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Post #145779
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Posted: 10th March 2007 18:57
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Posts: 889 Joined: 20/1/2002 Awards:
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Quote (DrkMagimaster282 @ 10th March 2007 13:51) Just for clarification, after watching the discovery channel showing of this, they said they found ossuaries with many of the peoples names on them, such as "Jesus, son of Mary", as well as some for simon, james, joseph, and jose (who were supposedly Jesus brothers from the Gospel). Also one was found with Joseph's name on it, as well as Matthew's. They even had two ossuaries with Mary on it, supposedly one for Mary Magdolene and one for the other mary (I believe there were supposed to be two Mary's, but i cant remember why.) These were all written out in hurried Hebrew, as if they were rushed to engrave and hide the ossuaries. Plus, the officials came to the tomb while the filming was happening and said it needed to be sealed again, even though they had it wide open for the longest time...like they were trying to hide something. The idea that this was a family tomb and had all of these specific names on each ossuary was a 1:60,000 chance it would NOT be his tomb, which was interesting, but could just be for show now that i seen the show. But really, since this is so much of a mystery in itself the actual existence of Jesus , we really cannot say for sure if this REALLY is his tomb, and if any of you are that sure, you must really have a lot of faith then. I believe it can be found on the discovery channels website, or also maybe Youtube if you wanna check it out and missed its airing. link? -------------------- I will be there... |
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Post #145780
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Posted: 14th March 2007 22:53
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Posts: 2,098 Joined: 21/1/2003 Awards:
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Wait a second, this DOES ruin the faith of millions. After all, if it's true, does it not render the Da Vinci code a load of fictional nonsense based on historical rumours and hearsay which has been blown out of proportion by a sneaky PR campaign which realised fuss from religious groups = free advertising on the evening news= $$$! and the religious right walked straight into it?
...Wait. So, yeah, the actual thing aired and it was just a bunch of rubbish then, with possibly careful editing to make it all look like the "officials" wanted to hide something? This post has been edited by Del S on 14th March 2007 23:00 -------------------- "Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato." -George Santayana "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..." -Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony. |
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Post #146068
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