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Ep 1
Ep 2
Ep 3
Ep 4
Ep 5
Ep 6
Ep 7
Ep 8
Ep 9
Ep 10
Ep 11
Ep 12
Ep 13
Ep 14
Ep 15
Ep 16
Ep 17
Filler 1
Ep 18
Ep 19
Ep 20
Ep 21
Ep 22
Ep 23
Ep 24
Ep 25
Ep 26
Ep 27
Ep 28
Ep 29
Ep 30
Ep 31
Ep 32

Drawn Comic:



Issue 1
Issue 2


So, what do you guys think?

This post has been edited by Dark Paladin Danny on 24th October 2006 15:51

^_______________^ They're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

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A fox is cunning
a fox is sleek.
I long to have ones
muzzle on my cheek.

Id hug him and we'd kiss
our love would be true.
And he would wisper
"I love you too"
=^_^= A snippet from a lovely and inspiring poem By Due Swann =^_^=

Does that first panel in the drawn comic say "Heal" or "flea!"?

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"I had to write four novels before they let me write comic books."
-Brad Meltzer

It was flee

Also, how many people are now confused beyong all possibities due to the logic in Oh Shizzle?

this is okay but its not really funny and i dont like the graphics.

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moetsuki
moetsuki
motoranai yakusoku no basho
jouzu ni habataku watashi wo mitsumete

Nope, sorry. Nothing. I see only a standard low-effort low-payoff sprite comic done in MSpaint* and not really very well written in terms of humour.

Plus I can barely even tell what's going on.

My advice is try to clarify the plot: I have no idea who the hell each person is. Nor what they do.

In addition, make better speech bubbles if you can. If MS Paint is all you have, c'est la vie, you join the endless ranks of low quality MSPaint spritecomics on the internet.

Also, less of the ................................... too. That just gets annoying.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but you seemed to want honest opinions.


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"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

What he said.

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Arts

Farts

Twarts

Quote (Del S @ 23rd October 2006 19:39)

Nope, sorry. Nothing. I see only a standard low-effort low-payoff sprite comic done in MSpaint* and not really very well written in terms of humour.

Plus I can barely even tell what's going on.

My advice is try to clarify the plot: I have no idea who the hell each person is. Nor what they do.

In addition, make better speech bubbles if you can. If MS Paint is all you have, c'est la vie, you join the endless ranks of low quality MSPaint spritecomics on the internet.

Also, less of the ................................... too. That just gets annoying.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but you seemed to want honest opinions.

Well, I've only just started a plot, but I'm thinking adding a cast section might be an idea

Also, yes I do only have MS Paint but I don't see that as a problem, MSN may have it's limitations but is in no way stopping a comic from being able to be good quality

Also, I just made another

It's hard to tell what's going on...it's all terribly small in terribly big (by comparison) panels..It's...well...it lacks consistence...

I mean, what IS this supposed to be about?

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN

I echo Del S.

The black and white comic was impossible to follow, nor was it funny to me. The colored comic at the top was easy to follow, but still low on teh funny.

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Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.

~Pacifist Badge, 1978

I prefer the MSPaint comic but that's only because the black and white one is a little hard to follow! It's difficult to tell what order the frames in the drawn one are going in but it's nice to see you not follow a conventional format! Keep experimenting, it definitely has potential! =^-^=

--------------------

A fox is cunning
a fox is sleek.
I long to have ones
muzzle on my cheek.

Id hug him and we'd kiss
our love would be true.
And he would wisper
"I love you too"
=^_^= A snippet from a lovely and inspiring poem By Due Swann =^_^=

I usually don't post in stuff that I don't like but I'll make an exception this time:

Humour:
This really lacks of good humor, with the numer of comics out there on the net, you should have no problem to find some inspiration. And you can still steal ideas it's OK! Well to start with so you get a better idea of what real good humor is.

Characters:
They NEED a presentation. If you make 10 characters pop out of nowhere and expect people to follow your comic; you'll get hit by a train. You don't show your characters any expression at all. If you character is smiling while he's shocked, ya got a big problem there.

Graphics:
Nothing prevents you to zoom in and let us see the action. Don't forget that you can make up your own character, not only by changing the palette. I'm not sure you did.

Beside that, other important points have been fully explained.

You seem to be motivated, all yoi need is to improve your work. Keep it up! and you should get something good in the end.

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Sayonara

Quote (Zodiac @ 24th October 2006 19:44)

Humour:
This really lacks of good humor, with the numer of comics out there on the net, you should have no problem to find some inspiration. And you can still steal ideas it's OK! Well to start with so you get a better idea of what real good humor is.

Characters:
They NEED a presentation. If you make 10 characters pop out of nowhere and expect people to follow your comic; you'll get hit by a train. You don't show your characters any expression at all. If you character is smiling while he's shocked, ya got a big problem there.

Graphics:
Nothing prevents you to zoom in and let us see the action. Don't forget that you can make up your own character, not only by changing the palette. I'm not sure you did.

Beside that, other important points have been fully explained.

You seem to be motivated, all yoi need is to improve your work. Keep it up! and you should get something good in the end.

Well the drawn comic isn't supposed to be funny, which could explain why you don't find it funny, and the sprite comic usually seems to get some laughs on other sites

As for the characters, yeah, I have introduced them kinda suddenly, I kinda tend to forget that just because most of them belong to people I know that other people don't nessesarily know who they are
I don't tend to zoom because it usually leaves little room for speech bubbles that don't interrupt the sprites' actions, and when zoomed expressions look really out of place
And I have plenty of expressions, but they aren't the usual over sized jaw drop stuff, the mouth is hard to make look right so much is done with the eyes aswell
Lowered eyelids for annoyance, lowered eyebrows for anger, titled back eyelids and/or eyebrows for sadness, one pixel pupils for shock, then I use the appropriate sort of mouth shape

Only five of the characters I've used so far actually belong to me:

Danny: The brown hedgehog from issue one
Cuddles the Kitten: The black kitten and main antagonist, also from issue one
Danny The Demon: The blue hedgehog in issue 28
Tiepomarn: Danny's super hero identity, appeared in comic 30
And Zack: Comic 31, basicly an amalgam between Danny's sprite and Karl's fur colour

Karl being my boyfriend's character, the blonde one

Danny (After the re-sprite), Cuddles and Danny The Demon are custom sprites, Zack being a recolour of one of my custom (As was mentioned above)

Thanks for the last bit, I'm not gonna stop, especially as the website it will be hosted on is starting to resemble something a bit like a website

This post has been edited by Dark Paladin Danny on 25th October 2006 09:59

The thing with comics, or so I've noticed, is that their presentation ends up being so simplistic that one doesn't realize how much effort goes on behind the scenes. At the end of the day, it's a few pretty pictures and some text, right? And mostly the former, less of the latter.

But drawing a comic is a difficult art, conveying through a small amount of detail what is metaphorically worth a thousand words. You would do well to treat it as writing a story with pictures, rather than pictures with a story. It is clear to me that you have spent much more time on the graphics rather than the plot and character advancement.

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Visions of Peace - Four Generals, One Empire, and the Returners caught in the middle.