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(This is my first fanfic and it isn't long but its wat I think could have happened)

As Shadow walks around the earth, he finally comes to a small house. Shadow knocks on the door and a woman answers it. "Please I need some help" he say to her and then pass out.
"Kristy come here. Help me get him in the house to rest" A girl comes to the door and helps the woman taking Shadow inside the house. They lie him down on a bed and let me rest. Shadow awakens later on. "Where am I?" He say suddenly jerking awake.

"Mother he's awake. Easy now your safe here" Shadow looks at the girl. She is very beautiful. Black hair, green eyes, 5'9 and nice body. Shadow shakes the thought out of his head. She must already have a lover.
"I take it your Kristy. Where am I?" Shadow asks her.
"Yes I am. And your at my mothers house. I am Kristy Alexander" Her mother then comes into the room and dismisses Kristy. Kristy bows and takes her leave. "My name Mary Alexander. I welcome you to my home. Might I ask. Who are you?" Mary says.

"I am Shadow. I am afraid I have no last name or middle, but just call me Shadow. How long have I been asleep.?"
"Its been two weeks. My daughter has taken a liking to you. She never once left your side. She kept bringing food and water to you. Its hard for her though. Her father left her and i'm all shes got left. I'm sorry for boring you with the..."
"It's quite alright, besides I thank you both, but I must go and find my friends. I can't believe its been two weeks" Shadow says and gets up, suddenly realizing his clothes were gone. "Ah. Where are my clothes?"
"They were so burnt up and cut that we had to throw them away, but here are some extra ones you can have" Mary throws Shadow some extra clothes.

"Thank you." He puts them on and then starts to head for the door. "I am sorry for having to leave so suddenly, but I must go find my friends"
" Why where are your friends?" Kristy says coming back in the room.
"I don't know, but I will not give up hope on finding them"
"What do you mean?" Kristy says
"Its a very long story. But I have to find them." Before Shadow can open the door, Kristy grabs his arm.
"Please don't go yet" She says and starts to cry.
"I'm sorry but you see Kristy had lost all hope of her life and when you arrived she suddenly regained all that hope. So you see if you go. Then she'll be sad again" Shadow drops his hand from the door handle. Is this sorrow, He thinks to himself. Could it be that I am in love with her, Kristy. She did take care of me when I was out cold. The least I can do is this.
"Kristy, would you like to come with me back to my home land? You don't have to if you..." Shadow starts to say, but Mary interrupts him.

"Kristy, its time to move on and go with this man. I have a feeling that you'll be fine with him. You'll protect my daughter right Shadow?"
"Of course, but I think we should let Kristy decide what she wants to do. So Kristy what do you say?"
"Yes, because like my mother said, you've helped me become better and regain new hope for my life. So yes, I would like to come with you. Because I love you" Just those words made him feel the same way.

"I love you too Kristy" Then they both kiss. When we both let our kiss stop we look at each other and then at Mary. "It seems its time to go. Thank you Mary, for helping me"
"Goodbye mother. I'll miss you" Kristy says.
"Goodbye my daughter. Wait take our Chocobo with you. It'll help you Shadow, find your friends" Mary says.
"Thank you" Shadow says and he and Kristy hop on it and ride into the sunset.
As soon as they are gone, Mary starts to write a story, about a man and women and how they came to be. The story of Shadow and Kristy: The ninja and the Lover.

Well that was what I think could have happened. Aw well so what do you guys think?

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Kefka's Message of the week: Get off your couch noobs and get my new game Dissidia 012

It's certainly an intresting sort of concept, I guess, that Shadow literally starts anew assuming he survives the fall of Kefka's tower, or it could be what he did in the lost year between WoB and WoR but it's a bit vague to the setting. That's sometimes good, and here, I feel that's a good thing.

Onto the actual event, the story suffers from a slightly simple feel. Improving it's fairly easy I think. For example:

Quote

"Kristy come here. Help me get him in the house to rest" A girl comes to the door and helps the woman taking Shadow inside the house. They lie him down on a bed and let me rest. Shadow awakens later on. "Where am I?" He say suddenly jerking awake.

Could instead read like:

Quote

"Kristy, come here! Help me get him in the house to rest," the startled woman shouted.

A girl comes to the door and helps the woman take Shadow inside the house. They lay him on a bed to rest.

Shadow awakens later on. "Where am I?" he asks himself, suddenly jerking awake.

Esentially, what you want to do is try and balance getting everything across along with keeping it as short as possible. It's a tricky thing to explain how to do and tricky to actually do, but you can't learn without starting.

My advice is to keep trying with fics, read the fics that already are on CoN for help, and never, ever, regard a work as finished. Just look at it as ready enough. Never be afraid to revise, expand, or both.

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"Only the dead have seen the end of their quotes being misattributed to Plato."
-George Santayana

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here..."
-Abraham Lincoln, prior to the discovery of Irony.

Well I might do that. I have two other fanfics that i made a couple years ago. I need to change them quite a bit, but they r bothgood. They talk about other stuff that happens in another universe, but with some familiar characters

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Kefka's Message of the week: Get off your couch noobs and get my new game Dissidia 012

Quite interesting, really cool.
But how old is Kristy?

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Kel'Thuzad: She is persistent. Reminds me of you, death knight.

Arthas:Shut up you damned ghost.

-Warcraft III Kel'thuzad comparing Arthas and Sylvanas Windrunner.

Minus the grammatical errors, I like it, this has some good potential

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Click here to read my FFVI fanfic *last updated 5/04/09*

Well kristy is around the same age as Shadow. Anyways i might change it into a story with chapters hopefully it will go into the fanfic section of ff6 in the big fanfics by the admins and other stuff. or it will stay here and u guys can post ur thoughts. anyways if i do it'll be in the future

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Kefka's Message of the week: Get off your couch noobs and get my new game Dissidia 012