CoN 20th Anniversary: 1997-2017
Photographic Memories and Letting Go

Posted: 25th March 2019 10:45

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Black Waltz
Posts: 881

Joined: 12/7/2011

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Celebrated the CoN 20th Anniversary at the forums. Member of more than five years. User has rated 25 fanarts in the CoN galleries. 
You hear this all the time, about how you need to let the past go and move forward, sometimes in life.

What about people who have a clear picture of their entire life from a very early age? The struggles, the victories, the warm hearted moments that will never come again and the awful trauma that never seemed to resolve into anything?

I remember Joe Walsh saying in a documentary about the Eagles that when you're in the middle of experiencing it, life just seems like a random series of events that somehow fills each day, happening to you beyond your will or your control, but when you have a lot of experiences (get old), you look back and it starts, then and only then, to seem like a sort of narrative that resembles the kind of story you see in a novel or film.

So, if you can't forget anything that's happened to you (as me), then how do you let it go and move on? How does one deal with the sting of the pains past and the wistful memories of better times that have gone by the wayside?

No matter what I do, the memories never go away. Sometimes, I wish they would.

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X is blue.
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Posted: 25th March 2019 15:01

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Black Mage
Posts: 216

Joined: 21/6/2008

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. 
I can understand your pain...

I've been taken advantage of in a few very adult mannners and even assaulted.

I've lost most the family who loved me enough to not abandon me for being me.

I've even seen the dead bodies of two of them dead and not at a funeral situation where they're bodies were made up to look nicely. One of which was my brother of whom I regret mourning because of an awful confession he made to my mom I found out a month after his death about.

I went to a special education school where as punishment they'd lock me in a concrete room no tables or chairs to sit in and for the first couple years at these schools the staff was permitted to use wrestling style holds on the students. The latter they quit I believe due to changes in laws.

I've even been mugged and had stuff stolen from me while hanging out in a local park.

Not to mention the years I spent brainwashed by the church I went to.

Many if not most these memories have been forever burned into my heart and soul that at times it drives me mad. Not to mention I haven't been able to find a new psychiatrist for the last two or three years. Luckily my primary doctor has been providing me my mental health medications.

It's hard but you gotta try to find what keeps you happy. Easier said than done.
Just try to appreciate the little things in life first. Then find new wonders in life you can appreciate as well.



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I treasure those who I love that love me in return. <3
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