Overwhelmed!!!

Posted: 7th May 2017 22:06

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Does anyone have any advice on how to handle stuff when overwhelmed with life happenings? I use to give up on myself so often but for the past years I've been pushing and pushing breaking barriers. But at the same time I feel sad and angry at the world. I need help balancing myself out so I'm not losing it so easily. I've gained self respect now I gotta learn how to keep control over my responsibility of such.

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Posted: 7th May 2017 23:44

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There various (theoretically healthy) methods and techniques that people can employ to try and deal with situations life throws at them, from meditation, to yoga, to therapy (which can itself take many forms). The difficulty is that different things work differently for different people. They key is finding what works for you.

If you've recently been pushing through barrier after barrier, you may have left part of yourself 'behind' - in that, for example, your emotional side has perhaps not been able to keep pace. It may be a good time for some self reflection to bring yourself to balance before pushing through the next barrier. I know that it's not always feasible depending on cost/availability, but a good psychotherapist could help guide you in bringing about that balance?

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Posted: 8th May 2017 09:57

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Therapy helps, there are medications which can help regulate the biochemical compounds within your brain thinky organ too.

More than that, though, to balance the scales of overstimulation, you need quiet, empty time to reflect within your mind in silence and peace. Your environment must be free of distractions such as noise, bad smells, clutter, lack of proper spacing (like, if the room is packed with junk and you can't move through it smoothly, that'll distract you).

Go somewhere very clean and quiet and dark, light a candle and put on some quiet, thoughtful piano music or something. Just think. Concentrate. Focus on the act of concentration itself, beneath any of the social or situational concerns you might be dealing with.

Meditate, in other words. Do it from time to time. Try to do it regularly.

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Posted: 8th May 2017 16:44

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It's worth throwing in a note here that while it seems simple, actually attaining that quiet reflection requires real work. My wife, for instance, has a very difficult job that she also throws her whole self into. As a result of that combined with her normal personality, she struggles mightily to get to a place where she can turn that off for any length of time.

The point is that while some form of meditation, no matter how or where you execute it, is not necessarily a simple thing, but it's worth trying and continuing to try until you can find your own comfort level with it.

I remember only bits and pieces of your overall story, but from what I can recall, I do think that at least trying to talk it out with someone qualified, be it a therapist, counselor, or whatever that person might be called, would be an excellent first step. Sometimes just the act of talking unlocks some things in your own mind that you never considered before.

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Posted: 8th May 2017 19:08

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Thank you very much everyone.

I do see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly now. Been seeing both I believe 2 to 3 years actually. I feel like it helps some but they have changed my therapist twice and psychiatrist once there isn't much communication between the old and new therapist and psychiatrist so I find myself starting clean slate every time. I'm very limited of options due to distance and insurance too.

Also my mom is kinda a hoarder she keeps the house cluttered and I have to go through her to throw out anything hers or mine. So it's rough.

Also my past fear of being shunned by general society which was why I used to cling to that church and the people there despite them not truly caring about me as the true me. It came true I have very few local friends two who moved far a few who are already live too far despite living in my city and one I just met of which she is Kinda super shy and recluse so getting her to visit is hard and even then she seems like she's in a shell which I'd love to bring her out of cause she seems to be so sweet.

Over all if I was able to have more friends locally who accepted me and were able to hang out regularly or semi regularly I'd be happier. And maybe a bit more control of my environment. As in better organization of my house and room.

Of which in four months I'll be celebrating being on hormones for 3 years yay. wub.gif

But I guess that covers most things.

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Posted: 8th May 2017 19:17

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Quote (Rangers51 @ 8th May 2017 17:44)
It's worth throwing in a note here that while it seems simple, actually attaining that quiet reflection requires real work. My wife, for instance, has a very difficult job that she also throws her whole self into. As a result of that combined with her normal personality, she struggles mightily to get to a place where she can turn that off for any length of time.

The point is that while some form of meditation, no matter how or where you execute it, is not necessarily a simple thing, but it's worth trying and continuing to try until you can find your own comfort level with it.

I remember only bits and pieces of your overall story, but from what I can recall, I do think that at least trying to talk it out with someone qualified, be it a therapist, counselor, or whatever that person might be called, would be an excellent first step. Sometimes just the act of talking unlocks some things in your own mind that you never considered before.

As an enhancement/clarification of my post, I echo all of this.

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Posted: 8th May 2017 20:08

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Perhaps listen to venezia's theme from Tales of Phantasia as you do this?

...I have fond memories of it, I have often found it soothing.

Edit: didn't notice the replies

Hmm
Anyhoo seraph your situation echoes my past and present a bit, except I don't take hormones ahem, anyway.

I am having trouble getting motivated to seek work lately. I had a traumatic event happen a while ago and I dunno if I'm ready to be around people yet.

Hope you feel better today than the OP, I'm casting Haste on you hehehe.

This post has been edited by Spooniest on 8th May 2017 20:18

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Posted: 11th May 2017 15:52

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Quote (Stiltzkin @ 7th May 2017 18:44)
There various (theoretically healthy) methods and techniques that people can employ to try and deal with situations life throws at them, from meditation, to yoga, to therapy (which can itself take many forms). The difficulty is that different things work differently for different people. They key is finding what works for you.

If you've recently been pushing through barrier after barrier, you may have left part of yourself 'behind' - in that, for example, your emotional side has perhaps not been able to keep pace. It may be a good time for some self reflection to bring yourself to balance before pushing through the next barrier. I know that it's not always feasible depending on cost/availability, but a good psychotherapist could help guide you in bringing about that balance?

I'd be careful giving advice like this if you aren't an expert. It's unfounded and you could be hurting more than you're helping.

Did I do that right?

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Posted: 11th May 2017 16:20

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I'm going to say yes

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Posted: 11th May 2017 16:54

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Quote (Dynamic Threads @ 11th May 2017 09:52)
Quote (Stiltzkin @ 7th May 2017 18:44)
There various (theoretically healthy) methods and techniques that people can employ to try and deal with situations life throws at them, from meditation, to yoga, to therapy (which can itself take many forms). The difficulty is that different things work differently for different people. They key is finding what works for you.

If you've recently been pushing through barrier after barrier, you may have left part of yourself 'behind' - in that, for example, your emotional side has perhaps not been able to keep pace. It may be a good time for some self reflection to bring yourself to balance before pushing through the next barrier. I know that it's not always feasible depending on cost/availability, but a good psychotherapist could help guide you in bringing about that balance?

I'd be careful giving advice like this if you aren't an expert. It's unfounded and you could be hurting more than you're helping.

Did I do that right?

I don't know, seems like that is as delicate as possible. I see a lot of "perhaps," "may," "could" in there and not a lot of "clearly you need to do what I say." OP asked for advice and got it, and I didn't see anyone in the thread implying that there was only one solution and that the only good advice was the advice being given by that person.

I think people are trying to help in good faith. But I'm not an expert, so I guess maybe the better solution is to delete all the replies and lock the thread so that OP doesn't get any feedback?

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Posted: 11th May 2017 18:35

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Quote (Rangers51 @ 11th May 2017 17:54)
Quote (Dynamic Threads @ 11th May 2017 09:52)
Quote (Stiltzkin @ 7th May 2017 18:44)
There various (theoretically healthy) methods and techniques that people can employ to try and deal with situations life throws at them, from meditation, to yoga, to therapy (which can itself take many forms). The difficulty is that different things work differently for different people. They key is finding what works for you.

If you've recently been pushing through barrier after barrier, you may have left part of yourself 'behind' - in that, for example, your emotional side has perhaps not been able to keep pace. It may be a good time for some self reflection to bring yourself to balance before pushing through the next barrier. I know that it's not always feasible depending on cost/availability, but a good psychotherapist could help guide you in bringing about that balance?

I'd be careful giving advice like this if you aren't an expert. It's unfounded and you could be hurting more than you're helping.

Did I do that right?

I don't know, seems like that is as delicate as possible. I see a lot of "perhaps," "may," "could" in there and not a lot of "clearly you need to do what I say." OP asked for advice and got it, and I didn't see anyone in the thread implying that there was only one solution and that the only good advice was the advice being given by that person.

I think people are trying to help in good faith. But I'm not an expert, so I guess maybe the better solution is to delete all the replies and lock the thread so that OP doesn't get any feedback?

Exactly this.

Or, in other words - no, you didn't do it right, you petty, pathetic, ingrate.

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Let's aim towards de-escalation and not the other way around, for Seraphim's sake at least. -R51


Seraphim, hopefully you find some of what we've said helpful. The bottom line is that you've gotta do what's right for you, and while we can suggest things that may be helpful based on our life experiences, none of us are purporting to be medical professionals. If our suggestions aren't useful to you, that doesn't mean nothing will be. You'll get there.

This post has been edited by Rangers51 on 11th May 2017 18:49

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Posted: 15th May 2017 10:51

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I would recommend giving rock climbing a try if there is anything local to you, it's meant to be very good for people suffering from depression, stress, or mental health. It's excellent at completely focusing you on the task in front of you. Even better if you can go with a friend as it encourages teamwork. In my experience it's very effective if I've had a stressful day or week, etc.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/fitness/Pages/r...h-benefits.aspx

If that doesn't appeal at all, any sort of physical activity is meant to be helpful and are worth looking into. Worth looking at the link above if you get a chance.
I hope that helps.

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Posted: 16th May 2017 05:42

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I do appreciate the help sorry if I worried anyone coming in with problems then departing for days. I'm beginning to just feel like most of what I once thought was right is wrong such as my mom being a good person. We are still trying to work things out but I may move out if we can't.

I'm afraid at times that breaking ties with my mom will lead to even more lost friendships though. Plus I have a friend who's going through a lot who's only hope is if me and mom can get along and provide a stable environment. I worry it may even be life or death for her as she's living in a horribly toxic environment.

So I'm not sure...

Option 1: Stay possibly saving my friends life who plans on moving in,in risk of both of us suffering if my mom doesn't work to keep things stable.

Option 2: Leave my mom help myself giving my friend nowhere to go. In which I have friends willing to take me in just they're unable to help the friend I'm trying to help.

They both have major pros and cons but I'm scared either way the cons will come back to haunt me.

Thanks again for any help or advice y'all have.

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