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Cracked.com drops the hammer on Final Fantasy

Ever been to Cracked? Of course you have. Recently, one of their articles took the time to point out the FF series' recent misfortunes and changes that have eschewed their once sterling reputation.

Like any opinion piece, some of the talking points are just that... opinions. And some are solely there for chuckles (it is a comedic site after all). However, we can admit that there is some validity to the article. I myself haven't even made it through all of XIII yet because the story got so far into left field it completely turned me off.

Regardless on your thoughts on the present day output of the Final Fantasy series, I found this worth a read.


PS. First post that wasn't CoNCAA or Fantasy Football related in over 6 years. Bobbo is back! I wanted to be a contributing member of the community before I came in and stole March Madness once again.

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"When I turn the page
The corner bends into the perfect dog ear
As if the words knew I'd need them again
But at the time, I didn't see it."

~"This Ain't a Surfin' Movie" - Minus the Bear

Welcome back.

I think this article is very close to home for many of us, and rightly so. It's about time someone stood up and clearly stated what needed to be said on the subject.

This article will seem like a joke to people who read it and have tangential knowledge of the series. But to longtime fans, it is the gospel.

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X is blue.

square enix pandering to ff7 fan nostalgia

This is one reason. Why the series is going downhill.Enix only seems to care about:

Money
Continuing to make games for Japan rather than the west.If ff4 sells like hot cakes, they are going to do whatever they can to exploit it for money because that is what they do.

Personally I think square part of enix has been going down well before they merged with enix with ff7, as they discovered you don't need a perfect story, all you need is a bunch of cutscenes and mini games to keep the game stable.Arguably at least 7 was still good in my opinion.

Square likes to throw out games, and if it's a hit or miss, they accept it as a possible cash.Example? Ff crystal chronicles is a terrible example of early 90S square game that sucks.Personally:I think also that secret of mana is highly overrated game with sub par multiplayer excuse of a game and the story is lacking as well as character development.

I did play the demo of sleeping dogs, and that was interesting.I get the feeling maybe the guys who make ff are just bored or tired of making ff games and ended up losing interest, because God they get worse and worse.

I think square has gotten worse, but possibly not because of enix but because of the square side running out of creativity.

Anyone excited about FfXV? I saw a demo of the game and it was running around in a open map with a black haired animu kid.

This post has been edited by Magitek_slayer on 12th February 2016 09:57

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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Oh hey, let's complain about the mobile ports (and as usual, slap Steam to every sentence for added advertisement... what did Google Play ever do wrong?). Not sure why the graphics of V and VI mess with the minds of many. The graphics in these two games must be so unfathomable that humans can't grasp the true form o- oh wait, this is not TV Tropes, and FFV and FFVI ain't Galactus.

Either way... I feel the article is a bit, eh, besides the point about the clothing... I seemed to be horrified looking at Lightning in her not so usual clothing. But other than that, not sure. Also regarding the point above, the writer complained about a game breaking bug... obviously, he's been mentioning services that provide automatic brainless patching, yet complains about a bug that was long fixed... I mean, isn't it plausible this bug actually affected a few devices is all? Either way, I'm not holding it on high regards....... but that point about the clothing marked the spot.







Off-topic: Give me a scene from FFV so I could get to play it again. And one that defines it.

This post has been edited by Pooka on 12th February 2016 23:31

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I am Exdeath. Step aside pesky clowns, or your warranty is Void!

The defining moment of FFV for me is when Bartz first agrees to go with Lenna to the wind shrine...just saying.

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X is blue.

It would help if the square part of enix actually put some effort and love into their new games, or perhaps went back to the roots.Ff9 was a return to the roots and even if it wasn't the most successful it was a good game, so what is wrong with having games that are more fantasy based and less bad melodrama? Personally 6 is the pinnacle of the series with tactics and 9 behind it, or all 3 being somewhere around the top, with 4 behind tactics and 9 probably



This post has been edited by Magitek_slayer on 13th February 2016 10:37

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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Quote (Magitek_slayer @ 13th February 2016 11:59)

Personally 6 is the pinnacle of the series with tactics and 9 behind it, or all 3 being somewhere around the top, with 4 behind tactics and 9 probably

Personally, its 5, and only 5. As long as the game sticks to the 'fantasy' part, it is okay. I'm waiting to see how XV fares though, maybe XIII were one of the "Odd Ones" couple, much alike II and VIII (and I indeed like odd ones).

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I am Exdeath. Step aside pesky clowns, or your warranty is Void!

TheEvilEye posted this in chat several days ago, probably over a week ago by now. I was going to post it here too and never got around to it, so thanks, Bobbo. At the start of the article, I was pretty ambivalent towards it; by the end, I was mainly just noticing things that were factually incorrect or interpreted extremely awkwardly. I couldn't even be bothered to go back and list those things out for this post - that's how much "meh" I have for it in general.

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"To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly

Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN?

Quote (Pooka @ 13th February 2016 19:58)

Quote (Magitek_slayer @ 13th February 2016 11:59)

Personally 6 is the pinnacle of the series with tactics and 9 behind it, or all 3 being somewhere around the top, with 4 behind tactics and 9 probably

Personally, its 5, and only 5. As long as the game sticks to the 'fantasy' part, it is okay. I'm waiting to see how XV fares though, maybe XIII were one of the "Odd Ones" couple, much alike II and VIII (and I indeed like odd ones).

FF5 has a super ridiculous story and it can't really be taken seriously.Its a fun game but I think some of the later games have slightly less ridiculous.

I think for one thing ff5 has decent character development but they aren't the most developed, but still likeable.

I think what ff5 gets most recognition and respect for, is its villain and rightly so and the gameplay.FF5 had very interesting and unique gameplay.

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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Quote (Magitek_slayer @ 14th February 2016 18:38)

FF5 has a super ridiculous story and it can't really be taken seriously.Its a fun game but I think some of the later games have slightly less ridiculous.

I think for one thing ff5 has decent character development but they aren't the most developed, but still likeable.

I think what ff5 gets most recognition and respect for, is its villain and rightly so and the gameplay.FF5 had very interesting and unique gameplay.

In that same 'ridiculous' story, developed the best villain in all of FF. (Kefka shall grab some popcorn and watch Exdeath instead). What I know, compared to FF6, is...

*Exdeath
*At no point in the game are three characters stuffed into a single diving helmet.
*The characters were developed in a much better way than FF6's. My favorite character in FF6, Celes, is LESS developed than any of the FF5 cast. Factor in characters that barely get any attention during the whole game, and FF6's cast still has so many unanswered questions.
*Exdeath
*FF5's gameplay? No special abilities for each of the characters, but classes which allow for versatility and the like.
*Gilgamesh
*Exdeath

That's FFV in a nutshell... personally I can't take FFVI that much seriously either, and mainly because the game crams so many characters into the events so many times.

Quote

*Exdeath

This post has been edited by Pooka on 14th February 2016 19:39

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I am Exdeath. Step aside pesky clowns, or your warranty is Void!

Quote (Pooka @ 14th February 2016 15:38)

In that same 'ridiculous' story, developed the best villain in all of FF. (Kefka shall grab some popcorn and watch Exdeath instead). What I know, compared to FF6, is...

*Exdeath
*At no point in the game are three characters stuffed into a single diving helmet.
*The characters were developed in a much better way than FF6's. My favorite character in FF6, Celes, is LESS developed than any of the FF5 cast. Factor in characters that barely get any attention during the whole game, and FF6's cast still has so many unanswered questions.
*Exdeath
*FF5's gameplay? No special abilities for each of the characters, but classes which allow for versatility and the like.
*Gilgamesh
*Exdeath

That's FFV in a nutshell... personally I can't take FFVI that much seriously either, and mainly because the game crams so many characters into the events so many times.

Quote

*Exdeath

Oh dear. No, no. To quote a physics professor chastising his students for an incorrect theory, "That's not even false!"

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Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (Pooka @ 14th February 2016 19:38)

Quote (Magitek_slayer @ 14th February 2016 18:38)

FF5 has a super ridiculous story and it can't really be taken seriously.Its a fun game but I think some of the later games have slightly less ridiculous.

I think for one thing ff5 has decent character development but they aren't the most developed, but still likeable.

I think what ff5 gets most recognition and respect for, is its villain and rightly so and the gameplay.FF5 had very interesting and unique gameplay.

In that same 'ridiculous' story, developed the best villain in all of FF. (Kefka shall grab some popcorn and watch Exdeath instead). What I know, compared to FF6, is...

*Exdeath
*At no point in the game are three characters stuffed into a single diving helmet.
*The characters were developed in a much better way than FF6's. My favorite character in FF6, Celes, is LESS developed than any of the FF5 cast. Factor in characters that barely get any attention during the whole game, and FF6's cast still has so many unanswered questions.
*Exdeath
*FF5's gameplay? No special abilities for each of the characters, but classes which allow for versatility and the like.
*Gilgamesh
*Exdeath

That's FFV in a nutshell... personally I can't take FFVI that much seriously either, and mainly because the game crams so many characters into the events so many times.

Quote

*Exdeath

I never said I disliked 5s Story, it just seems like there is less character development there.I think the story is more or less just as short as ff6s.

I also like xdeath too but I like Kefka more.

And anyways I like the job system a lot, it's interesting to use.There are so many things to use, sort of like ff7s materia system.They have huge amount of versatility.Ff6 doesn't have that, instead you got a class system.I think this adds replayability to ff5 and ff7.

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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

I think Exdeath is kinda a drab mashup of standard supervillain tropes. His motivation is "kill things to gain cool powers that let me kill things better", essentially.

Gilgamesh, though, is amazing. Best recurrent boss.

FF5 definitely isn't my favorite, and I wouldn't say it's the best, but it is hands down the one I replay the most. Wonderful system, fun if somewhat flat characters, and I really don't mind that it's impossible to take seriously. I also think the re-release translation is wonderfully done.

As to the article that sparked all this: I find myself agreeing to all the general points. Like, I own 12, and I do intend to finish it eventually, but I don't think I'll ever pick up 13, and probably not anything after that, either. And I can't express how unenthused I am when I try to play FFTA or Crisis Core, though of the two I think Crisis Core is better.

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I shall now return to my cave

Yeah but he's the first villain to open portals and suck in towns, and only.

It's just that xdeath lacks character development.Its forgivable because it was on the snes and pretty old now by game standarss(20 years old)

Gilgamesh isn't even a villain though, at least not that I know of.

As for tactics:Personally I really don't like FF tactics advance.I don't like the rules that get you thrown into prison for using magic or melee, or the simple childish story.Lions is really good though

Keep in mind this is all my opinion of course.

Personally I like Kefka the most as a villain.

As for worse:Probably zeromus is somewhere up there with the pope from FFXIII being up there too.

Thinking about what I think of yu yevon.



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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

I think Kefka is interesting, in that he's got essentially the same motivations as Exdeath (destroy things to gain power to destroy things), complete with arbitrarily smiting towns in the late game, but his path to get there is more interesting.

I think it's partly because you see more Kefka scenes that aren't directly about the main characters, whereas Exdeath's dialogue is almost 100% about the protagonists in some fashion. Mostly, though, I think it's because Kefka has more character definition than "evil wizard", and an actual role in the world beyond his plot importance.

And FFT (WotL) is wonderful. I've played a little bit of FFTA2, and I'm not sure if I like it, but I do know it's better than FFTA.

This post has been edited by Lurker on 15th February 2016 16:16

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I shall now return to my cave

Quote (Lurker @ 15th February 2016 18:16)

I think Kefka is interesting, in that he's got essentially the same motivations as Exdeath (destroy things to gain power to destroy things), complete with arbitrarily smiting towns in the late game, but his path to get there is more interesting.

I think it's partly because you see more Kefka scenes that aren't directly about the main characters, whereas Exdeath's dialogue is almost 100% about the protagonists in some fashion. Mostly, though, I think it's because Kefka has more character definition than "evil wizard", and an actual role in the world beyond his plot importance.

I think of him as a wimp who only became who he is by mere luck, and only after following the leader, Emperor Gestahl. All the guy did to gain godhood was simply to follow the man who worked very hard to achieve his end goal of world domination and finish him off. Had Gestahl decided not to accompany him that day, Kefka would remain a wimp. Not to mention he's been ranting for the entire game. And that's my biggest problem with him.

Meanwhile, Exdeath is already established into the business, and not only that, he managed to remove his own seal, and mess up half of FFV's universe.

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I am Exdeath. Step aside pesky clowns, or your warranty is Void!

Exdeath just seems like a knockoff Hexus, without Tim Curry, musical numbers, or a creepy skeleton shape. And, as everyone should know, my personal preferences are indisputable objective truth.

Kefka is *totally* whiny, and definitely riding coattails until he can stab the boss in the back.

It occurs to me that Kefka has a not-dissimilar origin story to Sephiroth. Weird magic experimentation breaking the patient's mind, boss-murdering, using (a) goddess(es) to destroy the world... Tenuous, yeah, but fun to consider.

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I shall now return to my cave

I know this is ridiculous but I actually do like kuja.I can't believe I'm saying this, but

Possible spoilers: highlight to view

I feel the end with him accepting death and admitting loss and then dying when zidane tries to rescue him really sad

Looking at the ending its quite a way to go.

I don't think ultimecia is completely terrible either, it's just that she has the most cliche personality ever:Mwahahahaha Fools I fill conquer ze vorld and destroy you.She can be amusing but I find her as a villain ridiculous.

i think emperor palomecia is decent too.To conquer heaven and hell is one heck of a feat, and we do hear about him.

I think the worse thing about some villains like kuja and golbez is they aren't the main villains, but they are likeable.

Possible spoilers: highlight to view

The game would have been better if they had been the final villain instead of some unknown force.Did we really need zeromus? Did we? All it is, is some random evil force, same as with Necron

.The game was building up on kuja destroying the world, and he did a really good job.

Also I admit I really liked galuf and Bartz, the pirate girl and her sister and bocco the chocobo.

Possible spoilers: highlight to view

If they were going to kill off galuf, add more personality to his granddaughter.She has the personality of cardboard

Another complaint would be of Seymour guado.To me:Seymour is pretty cliche and predictable.

Possible spoilers: highlight to view

Its pretty lame his thing of wanting to kill everyone to free spira from sin and becoming sin himself.Or keep coming back to life after dying over and over

I thought also Jecht is interesting too.I happen to like jecht as a character

Possible spoilers: highlight to view

even if he is the villain and when he dies, I felt genuinely sad, because he made a genuine sacrifice for the world and cared for his son Tidus.

he simply wanted Tidus to grow up into a strong man.I know some of this because I looked for the video sphere things to find out as much as I could.

This post has been edited by Magitek_slayer on 16th February 2016 09:03

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We are stardust.Our bodies are made from the guts of exploding stars.

Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Quote (Magitek_slayer @ 14th February 2016 11:38)

FF5 has a super ridiculous story and it can't really be taken seriously.Its a fun game but I think some of the later games have slightly less ridiculous.

I took it seriously and I enjoyed it.

I appreciated the grandeur. I also appreciated how Exdeath fills a "traditional" villain role, but then in a remarkable non-separation of gameplay and story, he actually has the ability level and attack power to back that up.

Quote (Pooka)

That's FFV in a nutshell... personally I can't take FFVI that much seriously either, and mainly because the game crams so many characters into the events so many times.

I take both their stories seriously and I enjoy both of them.

Quote (Lurker)

Gilgamesh, though, is amazing. Best recurrent boss.

I found Gilgamesh meh at best. He didn't make much sense to me.

No one else seems to share this opinion.

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current games (2024-02-19):
Fairy Fencer F ADF
Pokémon Perfect Crystal

finished so far this year:
Gato Roboto
drowning, drowning
New Super Mario Bros.
TMNT 3: Radical Rescue

tabled: Lost Ruins

To be fair, Pooka, who is your audience at this forum?

Ff6 fans right?

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X is blue.

So, are we done talking about the Cracked article now? I do see one post in the last twelve that mentions it, so I guess that's a stellar ratio.

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"To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly

Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN?

Quote (Rangers51 @ 16th February 2016 18:14)

So, are we done talking about the Cracked article now? I do see one post in the last twelve that mentions it, so I guess that's a stellar ratio.

Guess there wasn't much to talk about. The Cracked article focused mostly on XIII, the spinoffs, and the Android ports. With the part about the Android ports being a copy paste of all what we heard about them until now, I doubt there was...enough original material for us to talk about.

Jiggle physics anyone?

Quote (Spooniest @ 16th February 2016 16:31)

To be fair, Pooka, who is your audience at this forum?

Ff6 fans right?

And unfortunately, I'm the only FFV fan among the FFVI fans. Don't get me wrong, I like Final Fantasy VI just like the rest of the family (except III), but not as much as I like Final Fantasy V. I put that one Final Fantasy on a pedestal.

Quote (Glenn Magus Harvey @ 16th February 2016 15:31)

I take both their stories seriously and I enjoy both of them.

That's what I can say about most Final Fantasies. Their stories can be taken seriously. The problem becomes which one can be taken seriously more than the other...in the end, beloved characters die without a way back, the villain almost ruled the world, and the games' respective universes sometimes even need centuries of repair.

Quote (Glenn Magus Harvey @ 16th February 2016 15:31)

I found Gilgamesh meh at best.  He didn't make much sense to me.

No one else seems to share this opinion.

How dar-

This post has been edited by Pooka on 16th February 2016 18:48

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I am Exdeath. Step aside pesky clowns, or your warranty is Void!

Quote (Pooka @ 16th February 2016 12:48)

Quote (Rangers51 @ 16th February 2016 18:14)

So, are we done talking about the Cracked article now? I do see one post in the last twelve that mentions it, so I guess that's a stellar ratio.

Guess there wasn't much to talk about. The Cracked article focused mostly on XIII, the spinoffs, and the Android ports. With the part about the Android ports being a copy paste of all what we heard about them until now, I doubt there was...enough original material for us to talk about.

OK, cool, then. I think there are probably other threads that we can use to debate Final Fantasy V vs. VI. Thanks for confirming!

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"To create something great, you need the means to make a lot of really bad crap." - Kevin Kelly

Why aren't you shopping AmaCoN?