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The one, the only, Final Fantasy VI. Cloud who?

I'll be playing my revision (available on romhacking.net), entitled "Stand Guard," which borrows elements from a few different translations and has some pg-13 rated swearing. :\ I was very intoxicated when it was made.

I'll be using this baby to control it, if you're interested:



A Buffalo SNES Replica. I think these things are the bomb, and it's not the first one I've owned. I wish they lasted longer...

Anyways, on with the show!



There was one revision of FF6 by Sky Render that I played that had it renamed "The Great Demon War" or something. My writers' senses started tingling, and I thunk to meself, "Why not change it to that to save space? War of the Magi is long and sounds silly (as the Magi were the three wise men in the nativity story etc etc boring bible stuff)."

Also, I always thought it was kind of kiddish and comic booky to refer to an exact timeframe between the War and the Present Day. So that got thrown right out the winder.



I wanted to emphasize that machines are not alive, and cannot be revived. Also, I wanted to say this in active voice, rather than passive ("We reclaimed," not "have been revived").



This was very talky and overexpositive in previous versions, so I tried to tighten it up. Every letter and space consume a byte in the code, you know.



You see, narrators don't get the luxury of sounding like a character that is in the story and has a stake in it. They are relegated to always being in control, always being the perfect host. That's how narration is done. So I made this a well-known Georges Santayana quote, instead of the desperate sounding text that occupied this space before I got my meat hooks ahold of it.



Kinda makes him sound like an Imperial Stormtrooper talking over an intercom.



I've always enjoyed the word "Eidolon" for some reason. Also, note that the War is now simply referred to as "The War." I tried to save a little space in the code wherever possible. That's what romhacking is like...you can add stuff, but not without taking stuff out first.



It's just nice to start the game with him named Biggs and not VICKS, I think.



Colloquial language yay

This is as many images as I am allowed to post for some reason, so I will end this episode abruptly while I discuss with my superiors an amendment to the site's code T_T

Back in a flash with more of this trash!

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X is blue.

*sits down like a child who's ready for story time and stares intently*

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"I'll be judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury:
"I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.

lets play stand guard episode 2 has arrived



I wanted to emphasize the lack of personhood that Tina (yeah she's called Tina in this hack, gomen, too much drinky) experiences. Here she is referred to as a "thing."



Again, as above, exact figures are usually not recounted when one is speaking hearsay. I changed things because reasons



Here again we see Tina referred to as a piece of property, and not a person. This is something thematically strong to emphasize so I did.

Why did I make all these changes, you may ask. I have played this game 42,428 times and counting and it was probably not healthy for me. But it gets you thinking about how to liven up something you've read that many times, and given the means to do so, I chose to. Nothing more mind-altering than that, I swear.



This obviously did not need to be changed at all, BOOOORING



BOWS



These guys have been working on this series for a long time.



These guys are responsible for all the bugs in the game



BOWS FOR LIKE A ZILLION YEARS

A note on the music: The theme that plays in the snowfield is in Gminor, and it's what's known as a "march." OCRemix did a version of this called "Death on the Snowfield," and it rocks hard.



Of all the people I'd like to see back working on the series, it's Amano.



NEXT TIME: That Magitek Armor is fully operational!?

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X is blue.

I really like the way you tell this story!

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"I'll be judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury:
"I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.

I can't argue about the FFVI soundtrack. I've found a remix of the track you mentioned. I'll redact it if you ask me to.

If not, I would recommend to go through this part of Spooniest's LP listening to this wonderful track.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfjLTYJ8Z2o

Keep up the good work, Spooniest. I'm enjoying myself.

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"So, are you a fan of the Fett?"

"Nah, I'm more of a Star Wars guy."

I was gonna show you the configure screen but it's not really important

On with the show



Nice and simple, no? It's what I'd say.



A funny thing happened on the way here Uh, when I changed certain skill names, the empty fields at the bottom of this menu got filled with ??????? skills that didn't do anything, so I made them do something instead.

Bada bing bang bippity bap



You don't have to know what he looks like under the mask to know that this is this dude's only line in the game. I changed it because I was feeling saucy



PROTIP: Walk up towards the item sign to skip the second battle lol



For some reason this makes me think about the TMNT arcade game, where Leonardo says "Attaaaack!" right at the start of the first level.



This took up two pages in Slattery, but I trimmed it all down to one page.



None of this "eerie glow" business now



I wanted to include this because somebody (maybe Bregalad or vivify93) made a patch that changes the arrow cursor to a finger cursor like FF7.



I thought this tightened up nicely.



NEXT TIME: An Eidolon will not be handed over

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X is blue.

And now episode four ZOOT ZOOT




This all got touched up a bit. I hope ya like it, derp ddderp



One of them is about to get Mega Volted



Ah, Biggs, poor Biggs, oh well tekmissle time



A frozen Eidolon, not Esper like before you see I dunno if it really changes the game that much but it works out ok. So far I'm the only person ever to do that that I know of.

NEXT TIME



Frozen creatures will emit eerie light

This post has been edited by Spooniest on 23rd May 2015 19:57

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X is blue.

I really like the way you've edited the text. It feels a lot more natural now. <rambles for five minutes about nuances> MORE PLZ

Is this stand guard episode 5 or 6, I have lost count
Oh it's 5



Here we see some intelligent input from Wedge



Tina just sort of says, screw these guys, I'm gonna look at this frozen thingy

also if you noticed she's a woman now and not a girl, yay adulthood



This isn't going to be good I bet



And then Biggs and Wedge were all "Wait a minute wtf" but you can't really see it in a still shot.



If you know what a Wilhelm Scream is and why an imperial stormtrooper would issue one, then you are a NEEEEEERD



These two guys bite the dust to prove the situation is serious. Yeah, I'm not really sorry cuz they were kind of jerks but the facelessness of the Imperials in this game is kind of one of their defining characteristics...

...Which is kind of creepy when you think about it



It must be kind of hard to give a shiest when your're being enslaved by a circlet of mind enslavement, so Woman doesn't say much yet here



NEXT TIME

And then Woman got blown up!?!!!?

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X is blue.

Ever notice they're supposed to be stormtroopers, but have names matching those from the original Rogue Squadron?

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"So, are you a fan of the Fett?"

"Nah, I'm more of a Star Wars guy."

Quote (chevleclair @ 2nd June 2015 08:52)

Ever notice they're supposed to be stormtroopers, but have names matching those from the original Rogue Squadron?

Somebody on the writing staff said "There are characters named Biggs and Wedge in Star Wars, let's use those names" without checking to see if they were good or bad guys.

At least, that's what I'd always assumed.

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X is blue.

Quote (Spooniest @ 2nd June 2015 18:51)

Quote (chevleclair @ 2nd June 2015 08:52)

Ever notice they're supposed to be stormtroopers, but have names matching those from the original Rogue Squadron?

Somebody on the writing staff said "There are characters named Biggs and Wedge in Star Wars, let's use those names" without checking to see if they were good or bad guys.

At least, that's what I'd always assumed.

I'm not exactly sure, but I think they have used Biggs and Wedge in earlier games in the series. I certainly know they did so after. In that sense, it's more of a recurring reference that has to fit somewhere.

I also think it sort of adds to those scenes, because yes, they're the "evil empire," but those guys are just regulars soldiers on the lower rung of the ladder, just doing a job.

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Praise Be To Helix!

VI was the first appearance of Biggs and Wedge (although they were kind of added in to earlier games years later).

Quote (Cefca @ 3rd June 2015 14:48)

VI was the first appearance of Biggs and Wedge (although they were kind of added in to earlier games years later).

Well, that was Woolsey's fault really. Somehow, Biggs became Vicks!

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Praise Be To Helix!

Episode 6 YAY*



So Woman is not dead, but in fact blew up and somehow wound up in this bed with an old creepy guy staring at her...this isn't weird...?



...And why are you staring at me



Yeah this could be taken out of context quite badly



If I could get blown up and suffer only a headache, then I'd be sound as a pound, you know



It's interesting to note that this is the kind of detail that only needs to be told to Tina. We already know. Why was it included in the game, then? Because SUPER NINTENDO BABY



Nintendo of America wouldn't have allowed her to say "Oh my God," but I'm not Nintendo of America



Thought this all tightened up nicely.



If you notice, this is a haiku.

NEXT TIME



You have a last name, Tina

*If you don't read the word "YAY" in the voice of Gabby Jay from Super Punch Out, we may not be friends

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X is blue.

Arvis: "No, no, my dear, that's the amnesia talking. Your name is Terra... Terra!"

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Praise Be To Helix!

Quote (BlitzSage @ 4th June 2015 23:07)

Arvis: "No, no, my dear, that's the amnesia talking. Your name is Terra... Terra!"

lalalalalala I can't hear you

But seriously, drugs are bad, m'kay

And it's not like I renamed Kefka "Cefca" or something geez

This post has been edited by Spooniest on 5th June 2015 04:20

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X is blue.

Quote (Spooniest @ 23rd May 2015 14:56)

Eidolon

Just saying

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I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...

I like the word "Eidolon," it sounds cool

Eidolon eidolon eidolon eidolon eidolon

thbttbttbtbtbt

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X is blue.

I like the name Jeffrey, but I'm not renaming anyone that.

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I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...

Quote (Sherick @ 5th June 2015 13:12)

I like the name Jeffrey, but I'm not renaming anyone that.

Rename Arvis Jeffrey, Spoony!

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Praise Be To Helix!

Teasing abounds.

I like to annoy my brother by pronouncing "Terra" with a Japanese R sound. He is a big snob so he's got some pretty great buttons.

Quote (Spooniest @ 5th June 2015 04:19)

And it's not like I renamed Kefka "Cefca" or something geez

I resent that!

lucky episode 7 is upon you, behold my works ye mighty



Arvis is a doctor or something? He's acting like he knows doctor stuff



I believe Minoru Akao was that sound designer for FF6. This dog bark sound effect is nice.



Things are going south immediately of course, or there would be no story



Was "agent" from Sky Render? Maybe it was, I dunno and am too lazy to check.



The double hyphen is fun to use when typing--



Because it draws your attention to what's coming next! (Exclamation points are fun too)



There is some urgency in Arvis I'll tell you that, but I wanted to show you how the exclamation point is inside the quotation marks here. That was a pretty simple fix, but several of the item get messages are independent of the "Recieved N!" Where N is the item call code the game supplies.

So it was tedious fixing them all, but I *think* I got them?



This might be Slattery. Or just me thinking "fewer words" Idk

NEXT TIME



"Not so wounded as we were led to believe!! So much the better!"

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X is blue.

I love that scene from a storytelling perspective. They do such a great job of establishing that she has amnesia, but it is not permanent, and they also cleverly use that to introduce these concepts suddenly in a rushed situation. I've always thought it was a great scene.

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Praise Be To Helix!

This editing of the game text is your work?

It seems quite good. Whatever you did, be it intoxication or not, seems to have had a very beneficial effect on the quality of your work.

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current games (2024-02-19):
Fairy Fencer F ADF
Pokémon Perfect Crystal

finished so far this year:
Gato Roboto
drowning, drowning
New Super Mario Bros.
TMNT 3: Radical Rescue

tabled: Lost Ruins

Quote (Glenn Magus Harvey @ 13th June 2015 13:05)

This editing of the game text is your work?

It seems quite good. Whatever you did, be it intoxication or not, seems to have had a very beneficial effect on the quality of your work.

To be perfectly honest, I was going through a divorce at the time and needed the work to keep my mind off of how sad I was all the time.

More episodes to come!! Stay tuned.

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X is blue.

I got a little sidetracked because OMG FF7 REMAKE

EPISODE 8



Yeh, things are going south really quick again because like I said if they didn't there would be no story



PROTIP: Don't pick up the treasure chests until Mt. Kolts. They change in the future to better items. Doesn't this seem like kind of a call forward to Chrono Trigger when you think about it?



Tina: "Oh shit."



Tina: "Shit! Shit!"



So Tina falls down a hole in the corner and passes out, because unconsciousness is a silly little thing that you can easily recover from and doesn't ever cause brain damage.



I think the real rationale at the start of the project was that I wanted a copy of Final Fantasy VI that had the upgraded script of RPGOne's version, but with Kefka bearing his properly Woolseyized name. It just ballooned out of control from there.



Don'tcha just wanna smack him, gawd




Are these guys the Soldiers of Maranda? Is this where Celes ordered the burning of the village? I always wondered. *begins fanfic*



TIna is pretty scary yo

NEXT TIME:



I really think there might be something wrong with him




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X is blue.

I'm going to restart this, if that's ok with everyone.



When we last left Tina she was dreaming in some kind of coma from falling through a hole and hitting her head...it's no wonder she can never remember anything geez



I've always thought maybe Ghastra was mad at the world cuz he was short. Did you ever notice how short he is? It's to make room for the hat, I guess.



POWER OVERWHELMING



LONG LIVE OUR PAYCHECKS

I don't think they were even listening to him, tbh



Enter our hero, stage right.



Yes that's exactly what he did of course.



The debut of the "shocked" face was in FFV, but this got released in America first, so it was my introduction to "shocked" face in jRPGs.



Another haiku. Yeah, I was quite the dweeb in high school. Why do you ask?



Calling yourself a treasure hunter when you're a thief isn't semantics, it's bull scat. And Locke knows that. There's a certain "Bugs Bunny" quality to Locke that's endearing. He's kind of the most genre-savvy character in the game, tending to break the 4th wall more than anyone.

That's all the images that can go in a post...

Ok?

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X is blue.

I approve of the haikus. Wish they'd used them.

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I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...