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FFVI Fanfic: The spinning wheel of fate

Posted: 29th May 2006 16:38

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Chocobo Knight
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Hello all, in my spare time I've been writing a fanfic based on FFVI which takes place seven years after the final battle with Kefka. It's written from first person, but jumps around from character to character so it's not told by the same person the whole way through. The jumps vary, sometimes entire chapters are told from the perspective of a single character, while other times it jumps between characters frequently in a single chapter. In any event, I would like to share with you my introduction and first chapter and if there is any interest, I will continue with updates for each following chapter.

Introduction-

It's been seven years since Kefka's death, and things have more or less turned back to normal. One of the immediate things that followed Kefka's death was of course the end of magic in this realm which has been a double edged sword. It's true that without magic things have been a bit more difficult to get up and running again but the good news is that all those magical aberations and terrible monsters either died out, or are largely harmless now. Fields and pastures have been reswen, forests replanted, the rains have returned, and people are begining to prosper once more.

Narshe has been cleared of monsters and made inhabitable once again, and is rebuilding it's infrastructure and beginning to reclaim it's status as industrial production juggernaut. Alot of effort has gone into rebuilding Mobliz and Terra has assumed the position of it's per-facto governess, she still takes care of all those orphans too so she's been an extremely busy woman. Locke married Celes and they have a daughter named Rachel now, they live in Kohlingen. Setzers been doing everything we've come to expect from him...gambling, drinking, seeing operas and flying all over the place. Edgar has of course resumed his role as king of Figaro, but Sabin now rules alongside him as co-regent...it's really just a meaningless title more then anything else seeing as Sabin spends most of time training himself instead of actually doing anything that would normally be expected of a co-regent.

Cyan has pledged himself as retainer to Figaro and now serves Edgar as commander of the army, he's also been insructing an elite vanguard corp of Samurai modeled on the old Doma style...I really see no point in keeping an army anymore, since it's not likely theres gonna be war for AWHILE now. Mog went back into the caves with Umaro...no ones seen much of him lately, but everyone tells me he's changed...ALOT, he's all dark and morose now, seems like he isnt taking being the last of his species very well after all. Gau was living with Terra in Mobliz for awhile, and has changed alot over the years. For one he's finally learned to speak properly, that and he's come to understand that hides and loin cloths aren't acceptable attire in the civilized world.
He's still far from normal but at the very least he can pass himself off as being half civilized now, last I heard he went back to the Veldt and built a self-sufficent little cabin like the one his crazy old man has.

None of us know what happened to Gogo, he just sorta vanished after we got out of the tower, he was just sort of standing there smiling and the next thing we knew he was gone.

After the final battle with Kefka, before we even had the chance to get back to the Airship, well...Strago looked right at me and said "Clyde, if you don't tell her 'I' will" and seeing no alternative I told Relm everything. Her reaction can be summed up with a few quotes from the torrent of shouting that ensued "How could you do that to me?, I WAS ONLY A CHILD!" and "I HATE YOU, YOU'RE THE WORST FATHER IN THE WORLD!" to "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN IN MY LIFE!" pretty much everything you would expect from someone who just found out their dad was a no good train robber who abandoned them as an infant and never visited them or even showed that they cared they existed. I dealt with it the way I've always dealt with pain or emotion I couldn't kill...by drawing back in silence to dwell in a state of perpetual anxiety, and like always the pain turned inwards feeding into my rotting self-hate.

I've been living alone with only Interceptor for company for the past seven years, or at least I had him for company before he finally died of old age...he was sixteen. I've been wandering from pub to pub to drink away my pain while toying with the idea of killing myself. Occasionally I'll run into Setzer but rarely anyone else, and I hadn't spoken to Strago or Relm at all for the past seven years...when suddenly I revcieved a letter in the mail in Relm's handwriting...it simply read "Stragos dead, funeral in Thamasa".


Chapter one: A Clockwork Arrowny

*WARNING* Coarse language ahead, do not procede if such things offend you *WARNING*

My name is Clyde Arrowny, or at least...it used to be. Everyone calls me Shadow, and I'm more comfortable with that then Clyde, I'm too scum to deserve a name anyway. I'm the scum of the earth, I have done everything wrong that one could possibly imagine. I've killed innocent people for money, I let my best friend get captured, I abandoned my daughter as an infant, and to top it all off I sold out to the empire knowing FULL WELL what that meant. Then, in a pathetic attempt to redeem myself I tried, and failed, to stop Kefka from ushering in this age of ruin, I failed in the ONE chance I had to redeem myself, but thats to be expected I mean...I am a failure. I'm a failure as a hero, I'm a failure as a father, I'm a failure as a friend, I'm a failure as a lover, I'm a failure as a companion, I AM A FAILURE IN EVERY POSSIBLE SENSE OF THE WORD...they should of just left me to die on that floating continent.

I was in Albrook when I got the message, and considering everything Strago's done or rather 'did' for me I figured I should at least pay my last respects so I booked passage on a comercial transport ship. It took about eight hours to get there and the boatride was completely un-eventful, when I got off I was surprised to find that no one else was there yet. I made my way to Strago's house and found a note on the door, again in Relm's handwriting "funeral at General Leo chapel", the General Leo chapel was a chapel built after the final battle in front of the site where Leo was buried to honor his memory. I entered and saw a small congregation gathered consisting of a few townspeople, the Elder, and Strago's boyhood friend Gungho.

Relm was sitting up front left dressed in black, she noticed my presence and turned to face me as I approached the casket to take a last look at the man who raised my daughter. Suddenly, Relm asked in a very matter-of-fact tone "where's interceptor?", "died" I replied, "about half a year ago" I continued, Relm took an annoyed tone "and you didnt tell me?", "saw no need" I responded. "He was my puppy before he was your attack dog!, Clyde!, don't you think I would of liked to know?" she grew visibly irritated...this was going largely as I expected "the thought didnt occur to me" I was lying, I just never wanted to tell her, "and please don't call me that" I continued. "Don't call you what?" Relm retorted now practically snapping at me, "...Clyde" I was beginning to get annoyed myself, "well thats your name, ISNT IT?!, CLYDE ARROWNY?!", "I DON'T HAVE A NAME!, I'M SHADOW!" I found myself shouting, I then noticed the entire congregation staring at us, "Bah!" Relm snapped as she threw her arm out in disgust and turned away, "I invited everyone else, they should be here soon"

Relm spat out as she stared at the ground in front of her. I slunk away into a shadowy corner by the doorway, I figured I'd stick around...I had nothing better to do, and it was important to me on a sentimental level to stay, afterall Strago did more for me then I could of ever thanked him for.

I waited around for a few minutes before the first attendees arrived, it was the Figaro brothers Edgar and Sabin, and they were each dressed in matching black suits. Sabin looked over in my direction "Hey Shadow!, It's been ages how ya been?" he shouted in his usual jovial tone, I looked over and gave Sabin a slight nod to let him know I was acknowledging him, but I didn't feel like speaking. Edgar nudged Sabin and whispered, but I could hear him anyway as my senses are extrordinarily acute "I know you try to see the good in everyone little brother, but even after all we've been through I still wouldn't trust that man...he's done alot he's yet to answer for" Sabin just looked at Edgar and shook his head, Edgar shrugged. His words didnt anger me at all really, afterall I wouldn't trust me if I knew me.

The two of them were followed immediately by Cyan who was as per usual dressed in his armor with his sword sheathed and dangling from his belt. The three proceeded upwards to take a last look at Strago, Cyan ceremoniously took out his sword and placed it point down on the ground while resting his head on the pomel, and mumbled a quick prayer. Meanwhile, Edgar and Sabin looked down at Strago and talked amongst themselves "it's weird he'd die so young...I mean, he was only in his late seventies, right?, and he was really healthy as far as I knew, I was figuring he'd be pushing a hundred plus before he finally kicked off" Sabin questioned, "cancer" Relm spoke up in a low tone. All three turned towards her "it started up a couple years after we killed Kefka" Relm continued.

"Cancer?, what's that?" Sabin asked as Edgar and Cyan looked on equally puzzled. Relm continued "it's this weird new disease thats been happening to people ever since the collapse, but with magic and all it was never really a problem and you could treat it real easily as long as you knew someone who could heal or had a healing rod or something like that" "what does it do?" Edgar asked "no ones really sure" said Relm "it's like your body starts eating itself, it's really slow and painful, a truly horrible way to die" she continued. 'I deserved that, not Strago' I thought to myself while overhearing their conversation. Relm continued "I didnt tell anyone what was happening because I didn't want any of you to see him like the way he was, he was in so much pain and just slowly dying getting worse and worse and no one could do anything...I didn't want any of you to share the burden of knowing him like that, me and the townspeople just did everything we could for him in his final days...he was in so much pain he couldn't even move or eat, I...." Relm started crying.

Cyan quickly knelt down beside her, hugging onto her "It's alright, It's alright m'lady" I felt like shit, a deadbeat worthless sack of excrement like myself had to rely entirely on others to comfort his own daughter, all I know how to do is kill, and the killings over...I personify the term 'worthless'. Relm continued crying, as Cyan ever the chivalric ideal continued to comfort her "He's in a better place now m'lady Relm, a place where he ist' to be rewarded for all he hast' done for thee and the world" he rubbed her back as Edgar and Sabin looked on sympathetically, Relm regained her composure "thank you" she squeaked out between sniffles "you're all like a family to me" she continued, Cyan arose "I mourn thine loss, t'is a loss for us all" he spoke then bowed before taking a seat in the third row from the right behind the townspeople, Sabin put a hand on Relm's right shoulder and looked down "hang in there kid...I know how you feel, I lost my father when I was around your age" "Strago practically 'was' her father Sabin" Edgar chipped in, whether or not this was an insult intended for me I know or care not, he was right afterall.

The Figaro brothers smiled down at Relm who smiled back weakly then they took seats beside Cyan, meanwhile I contemplated killing myself for perhaps the third time today, suddenly my train of thought was interrupted by several footsteps and my eyes darted to the door. Locke, Celes, their daughter Rachel and Cid had entered. Cid rushed past me between the rows of seats and up to the coffin with Celes frantically trailing behind him as Locke with Rachel in his arms slowly made his way past me without even making eye contact...Locke didnt like me much, I knew it and he knew that I knew, and couldn't care less.

Cid glanced down at Strago "the new disease?" he asked without taking his eyes off Strago's corpse "...yeah" Relm replied somberly. Cid banged his fist down on the side of Strago's casket "Damnit!" he exclaimed while holding his head down as if in shame, Celes hugged onto Cid, "it's not your fault grandad, you couldn't of done anything for him" she reasoned. "Ever since Kefka was destroyed I've sworn to attone for all my past sins against humanity!" Cid exclaimed once again, "I swore to use my scientific knowledge to help, not hurt, mankind...and this disease is more my responsibiliy then anyone else's" he contunued "...afterall, I had a hand in creating Kefka...the monster who caused this all" he added with a hint of bitterness and shame. "You couldn't of done anything Cid" Relm added still somberly "thats not the point" Cid continued "this is just another life claimed by this terrible sickness that I in all my scientific and medical knowledge am totally powerless against, just yet another life cruelly taken away by a baffeling and terrible disease that I am in a way responsible for!" Cid continued to exclaim, now shouting.

"Calm down" Locke reasoned as he approached, "it's not like blaming yourself is going to bring you any closer to a cure" he continued, "thats true!" Celes added as Cid regained his composure "I apologize for flying off the handle like that...but this is a highly emotional issue for me" Cid explained "I have to find a cure, it's my life's mission" he concluded, and took a seat in the row behind Sabin, Edgar and Cyan. Cid has become a bit obsessive about atoning, methinks he went mad on the solitary island, he could cure every disease known to man but that still wouldn't change what he's done, he's a fool. Locke looked down towards Relm "I know how hard death is, trust me, I'm no stranger to it and if you need a place to stay our home is your home...I know you have no family other then Strago" Locke added that last bit glaring at me from the corner of his eye with a scowl, I pretended not to notice it.

"Thanks" Relm answered "but I'm not a little girl anymore, I'll be fine here on my own" she continued then looked up at Rachel "this must be your daughter I heard about" Relm concluded with a smile "hi Rachel" she continued. Rachel looked down towards Relm with inquisitive childlike eyes and proclaimed "hi!" while waving her arm in front of her face. Rachel got down from Locke's arms and walked up to Relm, looking up at her face Rachel again proclaimed "you're pretty!" as Relm gave a half hearted laugh.

Celes pulled Locke over to a corner and spoke softly, but again I could still hear "you promised me you weren't going to be an asshole today!" she whispered to Locke in a sharp tone "I'm not!, but I'm not going to pretend I like the guy either, I *never* did...I hate people like him!" Locke responded even more sharply, now barely whispering "fine!" Celes replied now exhasperated, "just don't start lecturing the guy or start a scene or whatever" she continued "I won't" Locke replied. Locke really didnt like me, we were polar opposites, were as I ran from and ignored my problems Locke developed a psychotic obsession over his, at least I never perserved the corpses of anyone 'I' killed in some lunatic's basement...fucking nut, the irony of myself 'a self-hating, suicidal, sociopath' calling someone a 'nut' was not lost on me.

Locke and Celes came back from their corner, took Rachel and then seats behind Sabin, Edgar and Cyan next to Cid. I heard an airship swish through the air, hum briefly, then land and I knew Setzer had arrived, and sure enough he soon came tromping through the doors to the chapel, but with Terra and Gau in tow. I figured Gau and Terra would come together, they had grown really close over the years considering the last four or five years of Gau's teens were spent with her. Setzer was dressed as usual with his sleeved trenchcoat and pirate-ish gettup...stylish my ass, Terra had on a black dress while Gau was nude from the waste up and barefoot, clothed only in a pair of loose fitting tartan checkered trousers. I remembered when Gau used to be short but muscular, he's still muscular but he's not exactly short anymore, he must be at least 6'10 by the look of him, probably more, he might be pushing 7ft as a matter of fact and he couldn't be any less then 285lbs...needless to say he was towering over Setzer and Terra, neither of whom could be considered 'large' by any stretch of the imagination.

All three stopped to say hi to me, I smiled and nodded then raised my right palm to signal that I didnt want to talk and they proceeded down to see Strago. As soon as they got near the corpse, Gau bent down and started sniffing "yeah, definately dead" he said aloud to himself as the townsfolk looked at him with odd expressions, Gau shrugged "old habits die hard I guess" he offered as an explanation. The three took their last looks at Strago, "weeeel, thats the luck o' the draw!" Setzer added as an attempt at concelation, "life can end any moment, thats why ya gotta live it up while you can" he continued...he was so emptyheaded and foolish, dear GODS did I ever want to hit him.

Terra looked down at Strago's corpse, then she started to get emotional and turned her gaze away. Gau hugged Terra and whispered "it's alright ma, it's alright" I guess he must've started calling her that after living with her awhile. Terras really emotional, very different then me, and yet, she is moreso convinced then anyone that there is a good person inside me...perhaps it has something to do with that advice I gave her before the collapse...and I'd be lying if I said I didnt feel some form of empathy for her, even then. That, and she looks so much like Melinda...those same sparkling green eyes that Relm seems to have inherited. I cleared my minds of such thoughts, they're futile and stupid.

I began to wonder, why am I still here?, What purpose am I serving?...I know I was planing to kill myself and I probably would have, that is if Strago hadn't of revealed all when he did, but what difference does that make?, Why haven't I ended my life over the past seven years?, Lord knows I've contemplated it time and time again...I mean, everyone, Relm especially would be much better off if I just died. Why did Strago even tell her anything?, He swore to me long ago he would never speak a word of it...I thought he cared about her, he couldn't possibly think her knowing would do any good for anyone...well...it's all irrelevant, she hates me, I know she does, I mean *I* hate me...to hell with it all, I should just slit my own throat right now in front of everyone to see, so they can all rejoice 'hurrah!, hurrah!, Shadow is dead!'.

I suddenly could not stand to share anyone's company, so I silently slipped out the door and rounded the side of the church, finding a shadowy corner to skulk into. I sat with my back to the brick wall and rolled up my sleeves, the scars where still there. I laughed to myself, none of the others knew that when they found me in that cave after the collapse that those wounds weren't made by those behemoth monsters but were self inflicted, an attempted suicide on my part, and if Interceptor didnt look for help when he did then well...I'd be dead.

I leaned back against the brick wall, suddenly I was overcome with memories flashing accross the pannel of my conscious mind...usually they're just limited to my nightmares but this was different somehow. Baram and me on the run, robbing the trains, running from the law all across the continents, and in the end I couldnt do it, the only time he ever asked me for anything, and I failed him...just like I've failed myself. It's hard to believe how fast I blew all the money we stole but, booze, whores and drugs will do that...it's all such a haze, I don't even remember half the shit I did, I was so messed up out of my head. I could see it like it was yesterday, wandering into Thamasa drunk and high...I didn't even know where I was or how I got there, and then thats when I met her. Melinda, she was so beautiful...it was as if, it all made sense, as if my life had meaning...why did she have to be so sickly and weak?...she died delivering Relm, and I guess that would be the moment Clyde Arrowny died and Shadow was born...it was as if I couldn't take it anymore, my emotions, my humanity, myself...it all just died.

Thank the gods for Strago, I don't know how it all would of worked without him, bless his heart, I hope wherever he is now he's getting all the rewards he deserves...he took my daughter in as his own, and gave her everything I couldn't. The things I've done...the people I've killed, all the families I must have torn apart, just killing for money...I kept telling myself I was just doing what I had to do, it was them or me, if I didnt kill I didnt eat...I...I CAN'T TAKE IT!.

Suddenly, all the emotions, all the rage, all the self-hate, all the pain, anguish and grief I keep burried inside assailed me at once in a violent torrent. My mind was racing with thoughts that were not mine, and yet were mine at once "you're a liar Clyde", "you're a despicable human being Clyde", "Your eyes just relay you lies Clyde, burn them out", "you make me sick Clyde", "you're a fucking SCUMBAG CLYDE!", I couldnt take it anymore and I found myself for the first time in a very long time...crying. Not just a few tears but flat out balling, I was sobbing with grief "I'm sorry" I muttered while tears streamed down my face "I'm sorry Relm, Baram, Strago...I've brought you all nothing but pain...I'm a failure...nothing but a failure, a miserable wretched excuse for a human being" I continued into the ground as my tears streamed down from my face and into the soil forming a small puddle...suddenly I sensed a presence.

I looked up, it was Cyan...I wondered how much he had seen, how much he had heard, I didnt think anyone would see me here, how did he find me?, My mind raced with many questions when suddenly Cyan spoke. "Thou remindest I of I many years ago...thou must let go", he began as I stared up at his aged face "Thine past is thine past, it will consume thee if thy continue upon thine path of self-destructive self-loathing...life is worth living despite past tragedies", I knew exactly of what Cyan spoke, but he was forgetting a key difference between him and I...he had no choice, I did. There was nothing he could of done to save his family, the poisoning took everyone by surprise...I on the otherhand, I could of saved Baram...but I didn't, I could have been there for Relm, but I wasn't, and *still* won't...becuase I'm weak, much weaker then the man standing accross from me now or the man who has passed on. I regained my composure as the decades of self-taught numbness returned, I arose "...not a word of this to anyone Samurai" I stated coldly, Cyan nodded and proceeded back around the church, and I slumped back into my corner to nod off, knowing full well that Cyan's word was his bond and my display of emotion was a secret safe with him.

-End of chapter one

Feel free to rip it to shreds with criticism unsure.gif

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 20th July 2006 23:06

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Post #117959
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Posted: 29th May 2006 17:03

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Holy Swordsman
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I dunno about criticism!


It was rather good, I must say.

Few spelling errors, not much to get upset about.

Also, bear in mind that Shadow wasn't on the Airship at the end of it all. That might be something to consider explaining.

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If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way
Post #117961
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Posted: 30th May 2006 00:02

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Chocobo Knight
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Geh, I intended it to mean that Strago confronted Shadow like, right after the final battle while they were still in the tower, and the effects of what transpired as a result caused him to not be able to go through with killing himself, for reasons that escape him, and have continued to for the past seven years.

I may edit that to make it a bit more clear...

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Posted: 1st June 2006 04:10

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Disciplinary Committee Member
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I humbly request smaller paragraphs.

It's really difficult to read a chunk of text as big as that one. The presentation would be improved ten-fold if paragraphs were reduced in sentence count.

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Visions of Peace - Four Generals, One Empire, and the Returners caught in the middle.
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Posted: 1st June 2006 12:49

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Chocobo Knight
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Alright, I've made the beginning a bit more clear and broken up the paragraphs into smaller chunks, thanks for bringing it to my attention.

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Posted: 1st June 2006 18:42

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Thank you for breaking up those paragraphs.

As with most Shadow fanfics I read, I find myself questioning the direction of the plot. There's nothing that really draws me to read the next chapter, mainly due to the lack of a driving force. You focused on emotional angst -- and of course while these feelings are most amplified during a funeral arrangement -- but it just didn't seem like it was leading anywhere. Let me try to explain why I feel this way.

Much of the chapter is spent telling us what has happened in the last few years and establishes the present relationships between the old teammates. The problem is that it comes off like a diary: "this or that happened and I felt this emotion." There really is nothing on the horizon, nothing to anticipate. The events are stated explicitly... we can't draw our own conclusions because there's not that much detail. Take this conclusion of the Cid scene:
Quote (Shadow's narrative)
Cid has become a bit obsessive about atoning, methinks he went mad on the solitary island, he could cure every disease known to man but that still wouldn't change what he's done, he's a fool.

Now replace that with Celes taking Relm or Locke aside, whispering (we know that Shadow can hear these things): "Please don't mind Cid. He's not well-rested these days; always in the lab muttering to himself at strange hours of the night."
A bit more intrigue, less in-your-face commentary and something for the reader to draw their own conclusions from...

Similar to the above criticism is the pacing and design of the chapter. It's a single scene that can be broken down into "Character arrives, speaks his piece about Strago, flips off Shadow, and repeat until out of characters". This repetition became frustrating after a while, especially since there wasn't much foreshadowing or plot advancement (save the revelation of cancer, an interesting development to say the least).

Anyhow, I hope this was useful as criticism. I'd be able to offer more constructive suggestions if a second chapter had been posted... just for some plot direction.

Good luck with the rest!

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Visions of Peace - Four Generals, One Empire, and the Returners caught in the middle.
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Posted: 2nd June 2006 02:23

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Chocobo Knight
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I can see your points, but it's not a Shadow fanfic. It's told from first person but the person telling is going to shift, for example, Shadow is not the one doing the narrative in the next chapter.

That, and Locke was really the only person who 'flipped Shadow off' so to speak, also Shadow 'assumed' Edgar was insulting him based on his own paranoia and insistance that everyone 'must' hate him, since he hates himself. That and Locke as has been stated many times before, isn't exactly the most 'together' or 'psychologically healthy' person in the world either.

Also, I can see what you mean about it not seeming like it's going anywhere specific at this point, but my intention with the intro and first chapter was really just to get a handle on where the characters are at seven years in the future.

The next chapters will contain much more in the way of foreshadowing and drawing of one's own conclusions. Unfortunately, you may have to wait for that since I'm going to be going away tomorrow and won't have access to a computer for a week =/.

But yeah, thank you for your constructive criticism, you brought some things to my attention I may have been overlooking.

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 2nd June 2006 02:26

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Posted: 4th June 2006 04:29

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Quick note, I actually *do* have internet access here, but, I didn't bring my writing for the second chapter with me, and I don't want to re-write it since I may miss something or forget a piece. I will work from memory to complete it however, and by the time I get home this coming Friday, I should have it finished =).

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Posted: 11th June 2006 00:49

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Hello folks, sorry about the delay but late or not here's the second chapter of my fanfic, also it's a tad bit shorter then my first chapter so I apologize again...

*WARNING* mild adult themes, do not proceed further if such things offend you *WARNING*

Chapter 2: The power of love...and insanity

I was tired from the trip over here, but as soon as we got the word we dropped everything and left traveling nonstop all the way from Kohlingen. As soon as Rachel realized Terra was here she got up off Locke's lap and ran over to her, she adores Terra so much, and Terra really is so wonderful with children. Locke got up after her and ended up chatting with Terra, those two have always been close friends, in fact, Locke takes Rachel to see her and the orphans at least once every week. It seems macab' that Strago dying would end up turning into some sort of friendly reunion, but, thats probably what he would of wanted...although...he'd probably of also wanted Relm and Shadow, or Clyde rather to be sitting in mourning together...realistically however I don't see that happening. Thinking of which, where did he go?, I looked back over my shoulder and he was gone, then, suddenly Cyan arose "excuse me, sirs, I shan't be but a moment" and with that he promptly exited. Normally I'd wonder, but I was too tired from all the traveling while Locke on the otherhand seems all the more invigorated from it, 'great goddesses I love him' I thought to myself, as I began to sleepily drift into daydreams about our first kiss...

After the final battle and escape from the tower and all that, we all just went our seperate ways. Since I really had nowhere to go I ended up living at Figaro castle, and despite what one would think it was Sabin who made the offer, not Edgar. Me and Sabin always understood one another and were really close friends, in fact, I would venture to say that he was perhaps my best friend, he's like a brother to me. It had been a couple months since, and during one night I got this *feeling* it's hard to explain...call it woman's intuition perhaps but nevertheless something inside was telling me that I had to go see Locke, and I needed to do it now. I knew he was residing in Kohlingen at the time and went down to the engine room, and without really thinking much I pulled the lever to start the submergence process, jarring everyone from their sleep in the process. Sabin came rushing down to the engine room first, and seemed relieved to find me "oh!, it's just you" he said, relieved "I thought there was some kind of malfunction..." "Whats going on down there?!" He was interrupted by the engineer, "It's alright, Celes is just taking the Castle underground to Kohlingen to see Locke" Sabin said as if it was accepted fact that, that was the only possible explanation, he knows me all to well. "Hrrrmph!" grumbled the Engineer "damned women...waking everyone up...*grumble*" he mumbled as he staggered off back to bed. "So?, You finally gonna tell him?" Sabin questioned, he was the only one I had confided in that I had feelings for Locke, well other then Cid, "I don't know, I just need to see him for some reason...I...can't really explain why" Sabin smiled "I getcha'" he said then proceded back up the stairs and began to inform everyone that theres no engine malfunction, and to get back to bed.

The transportation didnt take long, I mounted a chocobo from the stables and headed out to Kohlingen, it was late and everyone was asleep except a few night crawler types. I proceded to Locke's house and knocked on the door, it was unlocked and came open so I walked in. "Locke?", "Locke?" I was calling but got no response, I glanced into the living room and there I saw why. Locke was sitting on the ground in front of his couch slumped over with several empty cases of beer and a couple empty liquor bottles, he was definately inebriated, and since he was so small he may have even killed himself by drinking so much. "Oh God!" I cried as I ran as fast I could to him, I started slapping him accross the face to wake him up "Locke!, Locke!, LOCKE!, Talk to me!, Can you see?", Locke opened up his mouth and proceded to puke all over my blouse. "...Well, at least now I know you're alive" I sighed, "alright, lets get you up and in bed" I grabbed him under the shoulders and slung him up over me, luckily Locke is such a small guy and I'm not exactly a little mouse so moving him around was pretty easy. I layed Locke down in his bed so he could sleep this binge off, being raised by Cid I knew a few things about medicine and Locke didnt show any of the signs of alcohol poisoning so I wasn't worried about it. Even still, I decided to sit at his bedside in case something changed or something happened to him or any other variety of random happenchances that worried me.

I wondered why he'd binge drink all of a sudden like this, damn it!, It was stupid of me not to go with him to Kohlingen after the final battle, I know he didnt ask...but I should of insisted, Locke needs someone to look after him. I went to change out of my vomit encrusted clothes into something else, luckily Locke and me were roughly the same size and he insisted on wearing clothes that were too small for him anyway. I squeezed into one of his pairs of jeans and shirts, they were tight around my hips and bust but at least they weren't covered in vomit. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity when a few hours after the sun had risen I heard "urrk...my head..." I turned around and Locke had awoke. I got up out of my chair and walked over to his bed "oh...hey Celes...when did you get here?" I slapped Locke accross the face, *hard* "Owe!...what was that for?" Locke groggily asked, my eyes were burning with anger and my fists were clenched "What the HELL were you thinking?!, Drinking that much at your weight!, you're 145lbs!, you could of KILLED YOURSELF!" I was shouting, "I got depressed..." Locke began "I started thinking about Rachel again, and her last words...but...I don't think I can be happy without her...so I went to drink until I didnt feel anymore. First, I drank all the beer I had in my cellar but I still felt lonely, so I broke out the hard liquor and just started drinking it straight from the bottles, I drank a whole thing of whiskey and I couldn't even see straight, but I still felt lonely so I started on another bottle, and then I think I passed out half-way through it". I sighed "You are sooo DAMN lucky to be alive!" I scolded, "...I feel like death" Locke spoke up, "you're gonna feel that way for awhile, your body needs to flush out all that alcohol, not to mention you're going to be urinating like hell" I lectured "I think I pissed myself in my sleep actually" Locke stated "...that's lovely" I replied with a disgusted scowl.

Locke sat up "Oh god...I think I'm gonna..." Locke bent over the side of his bed and hurled all over the floor, luckily this time he missed me, "*sigh* I'll go get you a bucket or something..." I said as I got up to find a container for Locke's vomit. I retrieved a pot from the kitchen and laid it next to the bed, "thanks" said Locke right before he vomited again into the pot, "don't mention it...someone's gotta protect your poor rug" I joked and made Locke crack a grin. After a couple hours and a couple dozen vomiting sessions Locke seemed to be feeling better, then he noticed I was wearing his clothes, "hahaha, holy crap how are you fitting into that shirt?" Locke joked groggily "uncomfortably" I replied dryly "why are you wearing my clothes anyway?" Locke asked, "because you puked all over mine!" I replied triggering more laughter from Locke. "Alright, I'm gonna try to get up" Locke said as he planted one foot on the ground and the other in the puke pot, causing me to laugh hysterically. "Ewe!, arrghh...goddamnit!, I'ts not funny!" Locke yelled as he kicked his vomit soaked shoe off into the corner. "Ughhk!, I *did* piss all over myself!" Locke exclaimed as he looked down at the huge wet spot on his pants, "I'm gonna go take a shower, ummm, feel free to help yourself to anything you like" Locke said as he walked bow-legged over to his bathroom, closing the door behind him. I sat up and looked around, this place was a pig pen, "well...someone has to clean this up" I thought to myself, "it's not like Locke is ever going to" I continued thinking to myself. The first order of business for me was to scrub up all this crap in Locke's bedroom, there was vomit all over the place from Locke kicking the bucket over, not to mention he excreeted urine all over his bed. I went about cleaning the place up, dumping the bucket out then I went about searching for a rag I could wet in order to scrub some of that crap out of Locke's rug when all of a sudden I heard weeping come from the bathroom.

Overcome with feelings of concern I abandoned protocal and courtesy, and entered the bathroom, and there I saw Locke, disrobed, sitting in the corner of his shower stall, huddled over and gripping his knees weeping while muttering incoherencies, this was a sight many people would consider pathetic, even disgusting...but not me. What I saw, was an otherwise strong man on the brink of insanity, a man with a wound that just would not go away, a wound that perhaps only 'I' could heal...if it was fate that lead him to me when I was imprisoned then it was indeed now fate which had lead me to him on this night upon which he needed me the most. Summoning all the courage and calmness I could muster I slowly walked over to his stall, stepped inside, and sat beside him. I hugged tightly onto his quivering nude form, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and letting the side of his head rest on my bousom as he continued to tremble and weep. This was it not only did I want Locke, but Locke *needed* me, there was absolutely no way I was going to part ways with him again. I gently rubbed the back of his head whispering sweet soothesayings into his ear until his trembling stopped, then, I gripped the sides of his face gently with my hands and kissed him on the lips. At first Locke didn't kiss back, but I was persistent and continued kissing him, rubbing my hands accross his face and through his locks of grey hair when suddenly it was as if I had sucked the grief right out of him and he kissed back, as we embraced and pulled eachother closer pressing our bodies together a..."Celes wake up!", "Geh?!"

"You were snoring so loud it's a wonder the roof didnt cave in!" Setzer joked as he jarred me from my sleep, and I sat up and realized I had passed out in my seat. I looked around, Terra and Locke were still chatting away and Gau had taken a seat next to Relm. Sabin was looking back at me and laughing while Edgar chuckled, even Cyan was smiling. "Ughk, I was just meaning to rest my eyes" I grumbled in response to the group chiding as I shook the cobwebs from my groggy head, "and you could of been a bit gentler about waking me up Setzer!" I complained. "Hey, I had to!" he replied from his seat behind "the ceremony's about to start, and you were snoring loud enough to wake the dead, all the townspeople were looking right at us" Setzer justified. I snapped back to the reality of being at a funeral, and sat up straight in anticipation of the ceremony to honor Strago's memory.

Now for a few author's notes...

This is still the same story, it's just a change in who's telling it. I find that this is the easiest way to keep track of a variety of different characters, that and I wanted a signifigant change in theme since my last chapter told from Shadow's perspective was so dark.

The story will still follow a cohesive plot line and easy enough to follow chain of events, each portion told by a different character intertwines with the rest of the story so it's all part of a single story and not just a bunch of short stories thrown together.

As always, comments and criticisms are welcome

Edit-fixed a few spelling errors, but nothing major

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 12th June 2006 06:33

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Post #119576
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Posted: 11th June 2006 00:53

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Merged, no need to post new ones, and this lets people easily read the whole thing.

Edit
Not a prob! smile.gif


This post has been edited by Rangers51 on 11th June 2006 00:56

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Post #119578
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Posted: 11th June 2006 00:54

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Chocobo Knight
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Thanks, sorry wasn't thinking

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Post #119579
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Posted: 11th June 2006 01:02

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Holy Swordsman
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It was very good. The second chapter, as stated, was a bit shorter, but nonetheless I enjoyed it, and look forward to seeing what's going to happen in the story. Not because you've dropped any hints as to what's next really, but because I like your writing style, and the chapters being from different perspectives are reminiscient of George RR Martin, who may be my favorite author ever.

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Post #119583
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Posted: 11th June 2006 02:43

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Hmm this is quite interesting,i can't wait till Chapter3.So,so far excellent. thumbup.gif

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Post #119606
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Posted: 28th June 2006 00:13

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Alright!, sorry about being gone for so long but sometimes real life can be a bitch, oh where-to-begin-where-to-begin...

Well, three of my friends got into a car accident, one is alright, one is going to need a walker for possibly the rest of her life, and the other is still in intensive care and actually going in for surgery today.

On top of that I was recently pulled over, and almost got arrested so that's also shaken me up a bit, and a few of my other friends from a different circle are going through a series of rather nasty breakups which I seem to be caught in the middle of <.<

So yeah, sorry about the lax in updates for awhile but well...shit happens, anyway, here's the latest installment.


Chapter 3: A preminition of horror

"Truly, art the ninja and I so different?" I thought to mineself as't I re entered the chapel and retook mine seat beside Lord Edgar. The ceremony for Sir Strago was't to begin shortly but mine mind was't adrift on matters unrelated in nature, particularly on the matter of't Sir Shadow. I will admit that in times past I bore no liking for the Ninja, he struck mineself as't honorless and without conscience. I suppose upon reflection I had narry a right to judge, afterall I has't mine own tale gloom and tragic, of descent into darkness and hatred grown. For a time I was't nothing more then a slave to revenge, then'st a slave to self-hate so intense that'st drew the demon Wrexsoul, yet through it all I found the strength to rise above. The same can nay be said of't Sir Shadow but I am two decades or so his elder, however, it does't anger me some that he squanders what he still yet has't, for his daughter still lives, yet, I suppose he has his reasons. Over to mine left I espied Sir Gau and Lady Relm sharing one another's company, and if my aging eyes nay decieve me then methinks I espied Lady Relm smiling, something she has't yet to do up until the moment, t'is heartwarming. On that note I must say I am impressed with Sir Gau's newfound maturity, mayhaps formal attire would'st be appropriate but progress is't progress nonetheless. Suddenly the Villiage Elder ascended the pulpit to begin the ceremony, and although honor would dictate my full attention I was somehow distracted.

What deeds I had'st done to hear their dreadfull cries of death, with every imperial head I took mine hate grew leaving only one thing in my black bottomless pit of a soul...a desire for revenge. I sworeth upon the grave of't mine departed that until I found revenge I would'st feed mine sword in Imperial blood. T'is funny how'st I once thought that revenge would bring me consolation for all it brought me was't more hate which subsequently, and ironically, turned inward once their was't nowhere else at whom to point it...except mineself. This is where'st I see Sir Shadow for he is't the same sad and bitter man as't was't I, I will'st admit tha'st the pain of't Sir Shadow is't of't a different nature then the pain I had'st faced. Sir Shadow has't done truly terrible things, while it is't true I slew countless Imperials in mine quest of't revenge I nay once slit a throat in cold blood or robbed anyone of't their possessions. I suppose I have done all'st I can for Sir Shadow's truly troubled soul.

The Lady widowed of't Maranda still yet mourns her departed husband, I know this as't we have maintained contact through carrier pidgeons, she recently asked of me to see her, and I has't yet to write back as't I have not yet decided upon the nature of my reply. I must clear mine head, tis inproper to pay but full attention to the ceremony and I has't already drifted far to much in my thoughts then is prudent.

...

"NO!, NO THIS CANNOT BE, I AM A GOD!, I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!" my mind screamed out as that insolent peon of a ninja landed the killing blow. My limbs and wings fell limp, and I was falling, plumeting through my tower as it crumbled around me. It was as if I was falling backwards and gazing upwards into my new world order, my accomplishments, my ascent into godhood crumbling around and on top of me as I continued falling through this meshing hell of crumbling debris. I was aware of nothing but my fall, and the crumbling, the infernal crumbling of everything around me, everything I had built all falling down with me down, down towards the ground on a dogged one track decent towards a sudden stop. As if on que with my thoughts my decsent was suddenly stopped by a hard unforgiving pile of debris of brick and steel all un naturally meshed together by my will, ironic that this would be my grave. I crashed backwards ripping my back out and shattering bone, then piles upon piles of debris crashed down onto me, blood backed up my throat and spewed out my mouth and nose as my lungs were crushed, and then my world faded to black.

Then, I heard the voices...but these weren't the normal voices I heard all the time, no...these were different, infernal, demonic, unintelligible whispering then a shrill piercing scream of unfathomable pitch and pure evil...it was as if I was in heaven. Suddenly I felt my form, *or my presence rather as all sense of form, self or un-self had faded away when my world turned black* violently seized and taken...somewhere. It is difficult to describe the senastion as it was not as if I was being taken down or up, left or right but...somewhere else I think is the closest I can come to describe it, it was as if I was not taken to a specific location in the traditional sense but rather "through" existence itself, truly a strange feeling I must say. After some peiord of time during this strange transition I suddenly had form again, but it was my old form, my old flawed and weak body of subtle human flesh and weakling bones. I would of shouted into the nothingness surrounding me to voice my displeasure with this but I couldn't move. I was floating through what seemed like ceaseless nether, if that makes any sense, there was blackness all around and I could see amorphis shadowy *things* weaving and flowing in jerked macabre motions through the darkness. These same shadowthings *which I will call them from this point on* seemed to be the ones carrying me through this endless black nether, or at least I thought it was endless.

I could still hear the same whispering, muttering and occasional high pitched screaming in my head, and it seemed to grow louder the deeper I was taken into this nether realm of sorts. Suddenly I was dropped but I didn't fall, I hung there, suspended in the nether when suddenly a figure emerged from the black...I would have gasped overstruck with awe at the magnificence of this being but alas I was paralyzed. It was a huge manlike figure with skin like polished obsidian, and from it's back sprung two wings of fire, and it's face...it's face was entirely blank and featureless with no eyes, ears, mouth, nose, crevices or anything, it was akin to a blank slate of perfectly rouded, oval, stone. 'I' for the first time in my life felt insignifigant, before this great monstrosity I was truly a pissant when suddenly I heard a voice in my head, deep, throaty, unmistakably masculine and entirely audible.

"Welcome...Kefka!" the deep and throaty voice resonated throughout the inside of my skull, "you can communicate with me through your thoughts, I have no need of such primitive entrapments as senses or speach" it continued as if reading my confusion, which I supposed it did. "Why am I here?" I thought, which was met with a low bone rumbling chuckle "a good quesion" the voice responded, "you were set on a course for Hades but I had my minions intercept your spiritual essence on it's voyage and bring you to my realm. "Why?" I continued, not at all satisfied with his answer, "because, Kefka, you caught my interest, and I may have a use for you, tell me...are you aware of how your world was created?", "I have a rough idea", I replied, "basically, these three goddesses showed up, and created man, esper, the world and magic, then they left these statues of themselves here and took off", "a simple and shortened version, but more or less correct" was the entity's reply. "Now then, you attained your power from those statues, you managed to command and drain them...an impressive feat I must admit, and ever since then you've piqued my interest" it continued, "that still doesn't tell me where you...or even 'I' fit into this" I asked.

Suddenly I awoke, barely stifiling a terrible scream, I was still here, right beside the church, 'what the hell was that?!" I screamed in my head. It was a dream, a terrible, terrible dream in which I was not myself...I was Kefka, but it was deeper then just inhabiting his body. I thought his thoughts, I felt his feelings, I understood his insanity, I felt what it was like to be him, and not in any sort of superficial sense either...I felt his consciousness, I *was* his consciousness, and those things I saw and heard...I could make no sense of them. "Just a dream" I told myself calmly, it had to be...what else could it be?, my body was cold and covered in sweat and I could feel myself trembling. I sat back against the wall, stared up into the sky and repeated in my head over and over "Kefka is dead", "Kefka is dead".

...

'Dear god!, he's droning oooon and oooon and ooooon' I thought to myself as the Elder continued with his booring rhetoric, saying things all of us already know. In front of me Celes and Locke were seated next to eachother, Celes clutching his arm lovingly and somewhat possessively, lucky bastard that Locke, Celes' is so goddamned beautiful. Eh, there was no woman for me but Daryl anyway, no other woman on earth can keep me interested like she could, always challenging me and in my face, always looking to take and even bigger and dumber risk then I was, we could go on forever trying to outdo one another. Being an albino never stopped me from enjoying the sun and the breeze, that's why I always wear so many layers of thick clothes, sunburns a bitch when you have no melinin, I learned that the hard way when I was a kid.

Terra really looks lonely over in the 2nd row on the left by herself sitting behind Relm and Gau, I swear, that woman needs to get laid...I'd make a move myself if I wasn't so sure she was a dyke! hahahahahaha, I laugh at my own jokes even in my head. On the note of speculating about people's sexual orientations, I think Sabins gay, I've never seen him with a woman before and if he really is Edgar's opposite then I suppose it'd make sense, with him being such a womanizer and all. I can never talk like this in front of everyone else, they all have such sticks up their behinds except for maybe a couple of them, I mean, they are my friends and I care about them...but I miss having someone like Daryl to be able to talk nonsense like this to without getting the odd stares.

Looking in front of me, I can't help but feel like the traditional masculine/feminine male/female roles in your standard relationship have somehow been reversed with Locke and Celes. Celes definately seems and acts like the guardian and the provider, and Locke is like...I can't even put my finger on what exactly he is but of course we are talking about the guy who stores corpses in basements. Jeez a therapist would have enough on him to justify an entire case study with whole teams of therapists psycho-analyzing the guy. I mean...just counting off the top of my head we have irrational behavior, necrophillic tendencies, bipolar disorder, emotional insecurity out the wazoo, and just overall psychological instability, and I'm probably still missing something in that mess.

What?, Well it looks like everyone is getting up for some reason, I'll have to ask what's going on as I wasn't really paying attention...

Now for some author's notes

Yeah, I apologize again for the shortness in comparison to my first chapter but I didnt have the time to work on this chapter as I would of liked

I also feel like this one is kinda thrown together and not very good compared to the others, but I'm probably just down right now

If anyone has any comments, suggestions or criticisms, feel free like always

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Post #121632
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Posted: 5th July 2006 20:51

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Alright, since it took me awhile with my last chapter I really buckled down on this one, I like it, it's a little sappy at some parts but it's a necesity for where I'm going with all this, so without further adu...

*Warning*suggestive adult themes ahead go back now if such things offend you*Warning*




Chapter 4: Emotions run rampant

The actual ceremony was over and an open casket wake was scheduled for tonight and tomorrow morning, with the funeral itself happening later tomorrow night. Most of the others were getting up when suddenly I saw Sabin and realized I *had* to do it, "Mr. Thou..." I muttered barely able to contain my laughter. Sabin turned and looked directly at me, I couldn't help but crack a wide grin "Goddamnit!", Sabin replied "it's been however many years and somehow it's *STILL* funny, damn I missed you man!" he continued. "I missed you too...Mr. Thou pfffthahahahahah!", "You were on crack back then Gau, hell you still are!", "I know...Thou PFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was laughing so hard my sides ached, somehow that act of pure random silliness way back then had grown into the single biggest inside joke between the two of us. Relm was still sitting, I guess she just needs more time to deal with Strago's death...I mean who does that leave her with, Shadow?. Now, I'm not taking anything away from him as far as bravery and strength go...but he doesn't seem like much in the way of being of a dad. Then again, my dad was a crazy person who thought I was a demon baby and abandoned me on the Veldt as a newborn, and I turned out alright...somehow, so who am I to judge fatherly qualities?.

My train of thought was quickly interrupted by Sabin. "You may have grown alot Gau, but I can still take you down any day of the week!", I smiled cause' I knew where this was going "is that a challenge...little man?" I responded with a wise assed smirk "Oh!, it's ON now!" Sabin replied, and he lunged at me. Sabin tried to overbear me like he used to but since I'm pushing 7ft and around 300lbs now, he wasn't able to. I laughed and grabed Sabin in a bearhug around his waist and fell forward with him to the ground, but Sabin manged to slip out and get onto my back. Before we could continue wrestling any further, Edgar shouted out "Would you two asshats cut it out?, we're right in the middle of a fricken church!", Sabin got up off my back "Eh, what's the problem big brother?, we were just goofin!", as I sat up and got to my feet, "Yeah, but this really isnt the time...we're supposed to be mourning, not to mention you're right in front of Strago's body...it's disrespectful" Edgar retorted, "indeed" Cyan chipped in "perhaps thou shouldst continue thine contests of brute strength upon a later date?". "Eh, alright" I replied, disapointed. Suddenly I felt a hand grab at my trouser leg, I looked down and it was Relm "Gau..." she asked looking up at me somberly "would you stay here with me for awhile?" she asked, and given the cirsumstances I couldn't say no "alright Relm" I replied warmly with a smile and sat back down beside her.

Everyone began exiting the chapel as Relm scooted over closer to me then suddenly began to cry. Acting purely on instinct I reached my arms out to her to which she responded by nearly flinging herself towards me, resting her head on my chest and gripping my shoulders while still in tears. The Chapel was empty except for me, Relm and Strago's corpse...it felt quite eerie. I continued to comfort Relm by hugging onto her, I didn't say anything, there was nothing I could say that wouldn't just be stating the obvious or hasn't been said to her before a hundred times already by now. Relm's crying slowed into a gentle sob and finally subsided, then she looked up at me, not saying anything...just looking. She gazed up at me with this strange expression that seemed to contain a mixture of anxiety, fear and longing...it felt like she was looking through my eyes and into my soul, her lips were trembling. "Relm...what's wrong?" I asked, Relm let out a sigh, closed her eyes and sprang forward off the foot of her toes from the pew and directly onto me, knocking me on my back as she had taken me completely by surprise. Before I had even began to comprehend what exactly it was that was going on Relm was astride my chest gripping my face in her palms and pressing her mouth to mine, kissing me.

I couldn't begin to fully describe what I was feeling right then and there, it was unreal, it was a feeling like I hadn't been alive or had any idea what my purpose was up until that very moment. I kissed back, completely drawn into this single moment in time, I was aware of nothing else, nothing at all. I had no idea what brought this on or lead her to this course of action but at that moment didnt particularly care, as hormones had more or less taken over entirely by this point. Suddenly Relm spun around so she was facing my legs, and began fiddling with my trousers, and I thought I had a pretty good idea of where things were going from there...

...

I laughed, I had honestly seen this coming a mile away. Everyone else was just sort of standing there and there was a short sort of uncomfortable silence, at least silent other then the extremely loud and obvious nosies of Relm and Gau having sex in the back of the Chapel. Slurping and bumping noises could be faintly heard from behind the closed arched doorway, while Gau's loud yelping "YEAOOOOOOOOOUU"s and "UWAIOOOYAYAYAYAOOOOO"s boomed out leaving little to the imagination. Suddenly Sabin broke the silence "...gee, I hope they're using protection" he said half-seriously in an attempt to lighten the mood, Celes who was standing next to me couldn't help but start to break a wide grin, then all of a sudden began laughing hysterically. I turned to look at my wife who was keeled over laughing like a maniac and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "calm down, it wasn't that funny" Sabin reasoned.

Celes took a few moments to regain her composure before replying "heck yeah it was!", "there we all were just standing around with this uncomfortable silence, all of us knowing whats happening but none knowing what if anything to say about it and out blurts Sabin 'Gee, I hope they're using protection' pfffftAHAHAHAHAHA!" she continued laughing like a madwoman while Sabin just shrugged his shoulders. Rachel tugged on my pant leg "daddy, what're Relm and Gau doing?" I laughed, "ask mommy when we get home" I replied without skipping a beat. I looked around, everyone had varying facial expression at this turn of events, Cyan was looking towards the ground with an embaressed expression, Celes was 'still' laughing, Edgar looked kinda sad for some reason and so did Terra for that matter, Sabin was still perplexed as to what about what he said was so funny...and frankly so was I. The only person who didnt seem to show any emotion at this turn of events was Shadow *who had just returned from around the side of the church where he was doing god knows what*, and this didnt surprise me at all as he is an asshole.

I don't care what Sabin, Terra or anyone else has to say about the guy I know his kind, he is an asshole, he is everything I hate. He ditches his responsibilites, doesn't give a damn about anyone, does whatever the hell he wants, I don't even know why he bothered to show up today, well, I suppose he is showing some sort of appreciation for everything Strago did for him by showing up. People tell me that I'm really judgemental of Shadow and I suppose thats true, but, it's hard for me to like someone who's done so many bad things...at least Cid is trying to make up for all the crap he did. I do respect the instrumental role he played in saving the world, and I 'definately' respect him as a warrior...but as a person I do not like him and don't think I ever will. I know I promised Celes I wasn't gonna say anything to him, but I felt like I had to so I looked over and shouted out "Hey Shadow!, don't you even give a damn that thats your own daughter gettin' it on with Gau in there?, Don't you have anything to say or any reaction at all?, Do you even care about her at all?" Shadow looked back at me and shrugged, "wasn't it you who said she "had no family"?" Shadow replied in that cold, raspy chilly voice of his.

I wasnt about to let him have the last word, so I pressed onward "well with the way you're behaving I think you can certainly see the rationale behind my statement!" I shouted back, everyone was staring at me but I didnt care, I had to let him know what I thought "it's better then perserving the corpses of girlfriends who died as a result of my actions in some nutjob's basement" Shadow replied dryly. I snapped and lunged at him but Cyan and Sabin held me back, I expected Celes to yell at me for breaking my promise but apparently the same comment that struck a nerve with me had struck one with her too, that damn mother hen syndrome she has about my past I suppose.

Celes was in Shadow's face "You're a real piece of work Clyde, YA KNOW THAT?!" she shouted incesned, Shadow stared back blankly not even blinking as Celes continued ranting "How *DARE* you make light of my husband's personal tragedies!, if you had HALF the balls he did you'd...YOU'D OF OWNED UP AND BEEN A FATHER SEVEN YEARS AGO!" Celes shouted, nearly screaming. Shadow continued his blank stare "are you done?" he replied as per his usual cold manner "Locke really was right about you...you're a pathetic coward!", "and your husband stores dead girlfriends in basements" *POW* Celes struck Shadow closed fisted directly on his right temple knocking him back. Shadow leapt to his feet and grabed Celes by the throat, the 'instant' his hand made contact with her Sabin lunged and nailed him square in the face with an openhanded palm thrust, hard, and I mean 'HARD' Shadow must've flown back like six or seven feet before Sabin grabed him by his shirt and slamed him up against the side of the church.

Sabin looked pissed, and was staring directly at Shadow "You listen to me and you listen good 'Clyde' if you ever...EVER put your hands on Celes again I'll straight up *KILL* you...UNDERSTAND?!" Shadow was bleeding from the nose and started laughing. Sabin dropped him on his ass, and he kept laughing as he got to his feet "yeah I understand" he replied still cold, he dusted himself off and walked off "I'm going down the pub" he said as he walked off in that direction. I ran up to Celes with Rachel right behind me "are you okay dear?" I asked, Rachel clung to Celes "mommy, mommy are you hurt mommy?" she cried. Celes stood back up 'she had fallen when Sabin nailed Shadow' "I'm fine" she said "what in the hell got into him?!" Sabin thought out loud, "maybe he's mad because his daughters found a new 'daddy'" Setzer chipped in with a laugh.

"Sir Gabbiani, is't such crassness truly called for?, Tis improper to speak aloud of such matters" Cyan lectured, "lighten up!, geez you're livin' in the past!" Cyan rolled his eyes as Setzer let out another laugh. "There might be something to that actually Setzer" Cid theroized, "this Shadow seems quite the strange fellow, underneath all that meanness and coldness I'd wager he's a chaotic mess of everything...he might actually have been quite angry or even hurt but it took Locke reaching out in a sense to trigger it", "you're reading too much into him Cid, he's just an asshole, I know his type" I voiced my two cents.

Cid continued "well, in any event I think our two...'young lovers' as it were have stopped...engaging?, shall we put it?, shall we send someone to retrieve them?", "they'll come out when they're good and ready Cid, I'll wait for them" Terra spoke up, "you all can go and do whatever" she continued. "Weeelll, I'm going to go 'down the pub' as Shadow put it so eloquently" said Setzer, "hey!" I spoke up "caaaan, I borrow the airship?" I asked, Setzer rolled his eyes "to go exploring, come on you 'know' how much I love to travel places" I whined "fine, fine" Setzer tossed the keys to me, "just bring 'er back in one piece...and no hanky-panky you two!, you know what I mean" he concluded as he went down to the pub "I think I'll go have a drink as well, this 'Shadow' is quite an interesting man, I can't help but psycho-analyze him" Cid said "no he *isnt* Cid you're reading way to much into him, anyway Terra can you look after Rachel for us?, an airship isn't safe for a three year old", "noooo, I want to go toooooooooo" Rachel complained, "no it's much to dangerous!" I stated firmly in that tone that let Rachel know there was no shifting me on this "hmph, fine!...aunt Terras more fun anyway!, Nyah!" Rachel pouted and Terra laughed "don't worry, I'll look after her" she said. I ran towards Setzer's airship pratically dragging Celes behind me, I couldn't wait to fly that baby all over...


...

It was over but I still didnt want to let go, I hugged onto Gau tightly still laying on top of him I hadn't even bothered to put my clothes back on yet. Haha, poor Gau I still don't think he had fully processed everything that happened so I thought I'd spell it out for him "I guess what I was trying to say was, I love you" and I kissed him on the lips. Gau still had the same expression of mixed shock and euphoria he had when we started, his mouth was gaping in this weird sort of smile and his eyes were fixed on me, finally he spoke "was I just raped?" he asked jokingly causing me to laugh. "Caaaan, I take that as an 'I love you too'?" I asked, "Well, having never 'been' in love before and having absolutely no past experience or references to go by, I'd have to saaay.....yes, definately" he laughed, and I laughed with him. I got up off Gau and started wiggling back into my clothes, I could sense Gau staring at my rear-end "you've certainly got a womanly physique" Gau stated, "Oh gee thanks, that's just a nice way of saying my butts big" I teased as I wiggled back into my back into my black undergarments and britches then secured my dress around my waste as Gau simply leapt to his feet and pulled up his loose tartan trousers as I snapped my bra and top back on.

"Well, what do we tell everyone else?" Gau inquired, "Gau, I think they heard us" I replied "oh yeah, I was working up quite a scream wasn't I?" I giggled, "yeah you kind of where...I take it as a complement" Gau laughed, "hold my hand on the way out?...love?" I asked with a sweet smile, Gau smiled tenderly and took my hand "I can certainly get used to this!" he exclaimed, again he made me laugh "me too...me too" I responded. We walked together, hand in hand through the back door and back around the church, I was surprised to see everyone had left except Terra and Rachel, "hey you two!" Terra shouted as she waved us over, smiling. Terra walked up to us with Rachel in tow, she looked us over and smirked "well, everyone certainly heard what you two were up to" she began before she was interrupted by Rachel "and they 'STILL' won't tell me what it was!", Terra laughed "you'll find out when your older" I said "hrmph" Rachel grunted "I want to know NOW!" she pouted.

Terra smiled and walked up to Gau, she threw her arms around him and gave him a hug "Gau, you've been the closest thing I've had to a son, I think I'm always going to remember you as the curious sticky-fingered wildboy always eager to learn...now, you're a full grown twenty one year old man". Terra started sniffling a little bit, Gau put his arm on her shoulder and looked down into her eyes "you taught me everything I needed to know, you took me in as your own and taught me to read and write and talk...for all extensive purposes you were and still are my mom, and, I love you ma'" Gau said as he hugged Terra, "I love you too...son" Terra replied, still tearing at the eyes. After a few minuted Terra regained her composure and walked over to me "Relm...he's all yours now, take good care of him" "you don't have to worry about 'that' Terra" I replied with a smirk. Honestly I thought Terra was overreacting a bit, Gau isn't even her son! and it wasn't like any roles were changing, and she had to know he wouldn't be a 'boy' forever...but...I guess it's better then not caring at all like Clyde, and he actually is a biological 'parent' in the loosest possible usage of the word.

"Where is everyone else, anyway?" I asked, "Well, Celes and Locke borrowed the airship and are probably gonna be gone for a bit, Cyan and Sabin went off into the woods somewhere to train and everyone else is at the pub...and there was a bit of an 'incident' Sabin knocked your dad on his ass and bloodied his nose up". Gau made a shocked expression as I laughed out loud "hahahaha!, What the hell did he do?", "well...Locke ran his mouth a bit about Clyde being a jerk by not showing any interest in you, then Clyde brought up Locke's ex lover...and well Locke snapped and Sabin and Cyan had to hold him back, then Celes got in Clyde's face and started shouting at him and Clyde said something snippy and mean that I didnt quite make out and then well...Celes popped him". I laughed, I was finding this entire story to be quite amusing "hahaha, I swear Celes is like Locke's mother, but go on, get to when Sabin clocks my dad".

Terra continued "well, Clyde reacted be grabbing Celes' neck, but I'm sure it was completely on instinct since his reflexes are like lightning, then Sabin lunged at him hitting him in the face with an open palm and sent Clyde flying backwards five or six feet, then he grabbed him and threw him up against the side of the church and threatened to kill him if he ever touched Celes again, then Shadow walked off to the pub" Terra finished and I started laughing again "hahaha, thats quite amusing...especially seeing as how it's like everyone else and their mother has to take care of Locke and suffer the consequences of his mistakes for him" I replied. "I feel bad for him, Shadow I mean, not Locke" Gau spoke up. "It sounds like Shadow was really pushed and Locke didn't have to run his mouth, It's not like Locke has any right to be judgemental of the guy, he doesn't know what's going on in his head or what he's been dealing with his whole life, actually I'd think Locke would be more understanding, but he's not exactly the most mature guy in the world". Gau continued "and Celes really had no right to get in Shadow's face the way she did, Locke's not a little kid and she's not his mother she's his wife, and I don't entirely blame Shadow for how he reacted when Celes hit him, that would hurt, Celes is a statuesque Valkyrie with muscles of solid steel, she'd knock most guys right out".

Gau kept talking, he seemed quite opinionated on all this "Sabin didn't have to freak out like he did either, I know he sees Celes almost like a little sister but it's not like Celes couldn't of gotten away from Shadow if she really wanted to, he didn't have to lunge at him and threaten him, if anyone 'should' have, it would be Locke, but I'm surprised he can tie his own shoes in the morning without Celes' direction". I shrugged, "dad really brings it on himself though, he didnt have to mess with Locke's and Celes' heads the way he did" I reasoned, "well in any event, I'm going to take Rachel on a walk through the woods" Terra stated, "yeah!, I want to see what Sabin n' Cyan are doin'!" Rachel added as she practically dragged Terra away. "Strago left the old house to me, come follow me...stay here with me awhile", Gau smiled, nodded and followed as I lead him to the house...

As always, comments and criticisms are welcome biggrin.gif

Edit-minor spelling error I just noticed, and bothered me

edit2-*note* yes, I'm aware that the way it looks/reads now makes it seem like I'm all over the place and not going anywhere in particular with the story, but it'll all tie in later, trust me, I know exactly where I'm going with all this and it's not what one would expect thus far

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 7th July 2006 00:14

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Post #122718
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Posted: 16th July 2006 05:41

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Chocobo Knight
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Alright, after a few long sleepless nights and periods of sporadic inspiration here is the fifth installment of my fanfic...hope you all enjoy.

*Warning, some course language ahead, turn back if such things offend you*

Chapter 5: At the pub

"Wow, I didnt think Celes would haul off and just punch Shadow in the face like that!, that was hilarious" Setzer exclaimed as if he was oblivious to Shadow's presence in the room as he downed another pint. "Celes is very, very, VERY defensive about Locke's past tradgedies, especially so when it comes to insinutation about his psychological wellbeing...and given Locke's past and his tendency towards irrational and unhealthy behavior, I can understand why she is so ready to defend him" I explained. "Yeah, you got a point there" Setzer replied, "this one time I made an offhand comment about Locke 'not needing corpses anymore', I thought it would be funny but Celes drew her blade and held it at my throat with this look of absolute rage in her eyes and Locke had to tell her it was alright before she'd put it back, I seriously thought she was gonna kill me" Setzer laughed "I guess we know who wears the pants in 'that' relationship" he concluded, and I couldn't help but chuckle at the brutal honesty of that statement.

"I will say, Celes definately has developed a certain kind of mother hen syndrome about Locke...I suppose it's better then it was, but thats come along with Locke's improvements in his psychological health", I heard a deep throaty laugh come from behind me, it was Shadow sitting alone in the corner with a couple empty shot glasses in front of him. I turned around "is something funny?", Shadow took a shot from his last glass of vodka "just the inclusion of 'improved psychological health' and 'Locke' in the same sentence, old man" he spoke slowly and coldly. This man fascinated me, so dark and disturbed...I couldn't help but speculate in my mind as to his psychological makeup, what could make such a man tick?, Is he a product of the world around or of himself?...psycho-analysis has always been an interest of mine. "How do you mean?" I asked, not so much interested in his explanation as I was the nature of his reply and what it may tell me about the inner workings of his mind.

"The idea that Locke has grown psychologically whatsoever, is funny" Shadow explained, "How so?" I followed up, "because in actuality he hasn't grown at all, he just seems more together because he has Celes practically wiping his ass for him" Shadow replied without skipping a beat. A textbook pecimist, the glass is always half empty with this one, and the fact that both Locke and Celes are happy with one another and their roles is most likely irrelevant as far as he's concerned, sociopathic tendencies are also a strong possibility. I smiled "well, I can't argue that there is perhaps some psychological issues still rattling around in Locke's head but does it not stand as a testiment that they are both happy?, do our judgements and pre-concieved notions of what a quote unquote 'healthy' relationship should be hold any merit when both parties are happy, functional, and bring joy to one another?" I reasoned, most likely in vain. "Happiness, doesn't enter into the argument old man, it doesn't change the reality that Celes is Locke's seregit-mother and Locke is a pubescent twelve year old trapped in a 32 year old man's body, and a nutcase on top of that" Shadow replied.

Setzer got up and went over to bother Edgar who was in the process of wooing yet another unfortunate young lady, methinks my engagement with Shadow has grown to deep for his liking. "That is merely your perception Shadow, I doubt they see it that way, and I doubt they would be as happy with one another as they are if they did" I stated and I felt his anger rise, it's common for sociopaths to become incensed at the notion that their views are just another perception, and in no way a final authority.

This old fool thinks he has me allll figured out, but I know what he's doing. This idiot thinks he can slap a psycho-semantic label on me and read my every thought, I think I'm gonna fuck with his head some, turn his shit around on him, it'll be funny, *I get like this after I've had a few and I've already gone a tad over my limit, but I needed to relax, needed to forget that horrific dream*. I smiled a smug half-smile, "tell me Cid, how do you measure up to your own standards?" I asked. Cid looked puzzled, he was obviously not expecting a question on my part deviating this far from the conversation at hand "whatever do you mean?, What *standards*?" he asked, with a demanding hint to his tone. "Are *you* happy?" I repeated "you seem to judge one's psychological wellbeing on their happines and level of functioning, so I'm curious to know how you measure up on your own scale" I elaborated and Cid seemed to take a minute to formulate a response.

"I never said that one's happiness was the determining factor in one's psychological health, merely the determing factor in a healthy relationship" Cid stated self-assuredly, "Well you seem to put alot of merit on one's happiness and personal satisfaction, so, it would stand to reason that it filters into your 'cocktail' as it were, of emotional variables that determine whether or not one is sane or not" I elaborated calmly, with a hint of smugness. "Well yes, it definately does filter in to one's psychological health, I mean one wouldn't expect someone to function well in life if they're miserable, ergo: Locke" Cid replied staying right on the ball. "Well then" I began, "with that in mind I refer you to my previous question, are you happy?" I asked, Cid shrugged "happy enough" he replied. "Enough?" I inquired, "I find I am happiest when accomplishing something, and to be honest the lack of progress I face in my war of sorts on 'cancer' as it has come to be known, troubles me" "so then?" I asked, "where you happy while working for the empire?".

Cid seemed hesitent to reply, "a simple yes or no question Cid, ethical implications and hindsight aside were you happy?" Cid paused before replying "I can't answer that with a simple yes or no I'm afraid, it's far to complicated and involves far to much emotional and mental give and take to simply label as 'happy' or 'unhappy' overall" "fair enough" I replied, "then allow me to rephrase the question...". I began again "Were you, and are you now happy with the things you 'accomplished' as top imperial scientist?", "At the time I was far more pleased with myself then I am now, and in hindsight now I'm not proud of much I did, and I fail to see how listing a 'proudest accomplishment' is relevant to anything" Cid replied. "So I gather you're not as 'happy' about your accomplishments as previously implied" I reasoned, my smug self-satisfaction at poking holes in his logic growing.

"I never said I was happy with what I had done, Shadow" Cid replied, growing a tad irritable "So in essence, what you are telling me is you are happiest while 'accomplishing' but yet there is not one accomplishment which you are owed that you are proud of?" I asked with mock confusion "No!" Cid snapped, now angry "you have not given me the chance to explain myself fully, your assumption is only half accurate" Cid explained with visible agitation, I was getting to him, "well then, please do explain yourself" I replied with a smug half grin.

This is crazy how *DARE* this man see fit to sit here and judge me! a common thief and murderer, not to mention a deadbeat dad. "I 'said' I am happiest while accomplishing ergo: when there is a task at hand that needs to be accomplished, yes?" I went over what had been said previously so perhaps his pea sized brain would be able to get it's facts straight. "Correct" he replied "good!, then I can continue without fear of you misconstruing of the facts" I snipped "now then" I began "while working for the empire there where no shortage of tasks that required my scientific knowledge such as designing the plethora of machinery both military and civilian that was needed to keep Vector up and running and the Imperial military machine going, and I enjoyed my work" I concluded. I sensed Shadow about to speak but I cut him off, "before you make any judgements or jump to yet more conclusions, it's the work *ITSELF* I enjoyed, if not the end results".

"Now then" I continued, "there was of course work I did not particularly enjoy such as experimenting on living beings, but at the time I was convinced it was necesarry for the greater good, I obviously know now I was decieved". "Now Shadow" I began again, "do you still presume to question me?, To pry into me?, To cast me as some sort of villian, and profess to be better then me behind your snide comments and obnoxious smug smile?" I stated with my voice slightly raised, as I had lost my temper by a tad.

'This is excellent' I thought to myself, I had completely turned this around on him. This old fool doesn't realize it but at the beginning he was attempting to pry into me, to analyze me and now I had turned it completely around, now I was the questioner and he was the questioned, and all it took was some clever wording and knowledge of his past and his weaknesses now it was time to rip his scars open for all to see. I began calmly "tell me Cid, what of Maduin?" Cid froze, he was not unlike a child who had been confronted with a secret they were keeping, or had been caught in a lie, "...what do you mean?" Cid replied with a hint of seething anger...and fear. "Well, you were working with the captured Espers since the beginning and as we all know Maduin was Terra's father, what was he like?, How much did he know?, Did he ever plead with you to know the fate of his daughter?, Did he not constantly ask to know if she was alright?, What were his words spoken between your experiments?".

Shadow's words were dredging up old memories and pains long hidden, I tried hard to conceal them "Maduin spoke of little else other then the fate of Terra, all I ever told him was that she was safe but innevitably he overheard plans involving the Slave Crown project, and from then on he seldom spoke other then to curse my name and proclaim oaths to hunt me in the next life and so forth...his pain and feelings of failure were intense beyond any I have ever seen before...IS THAT THE ANSWER YOU WERE LOOKING FOR SHADOW?!" I didnt do quite as good a job as I would of liked concealing my emotions. Shdaow broke out into another of those sly half-grins and raised his eyebrows "no need to shout Cid" he stated calmly and with mock concern, "I also understand your experiments weren't limited to Espers, tell me, how many 'test subjects' lost their lives before you had perfected your methods of magical infusion?, you know, the same process you used to create people...people like Kefka!" his words cut like a winter chill and I felt myself on the verge of an emotional outpour.

I could sense I had struck a nerve, and continued my verbal assault in a similar vein *I really am a bastard when drunk* "Orphaned children were certainly a good souce of bodies weren't they Cid?, tell me, does this sound familiar" *I mimicked the voice of a child to the best of my ability* "are you going to make me better doctor?" I could sense his emotional aggitation, "what's that thing?, will it hurt?, What are you doing to me?!", "YOU JUST SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH!" Cid screamed, then lowered his head as if in shame "I may be alot of things Cid, but I never used orphans for experiments or devised a way to control young women with headware, whenever I feel bad about myself I can always look to you and start to feel better, because you're an even bigger scumbag then *ME* Cid!", "ENOUGH!" I heard a shout come from the other side of the bar.

I had, had just about enough of this and slammed my drink down on my table...besides, it's difficult to work my magic on the ladies with Setzer making obnoxious comments after my every sentence. "Leave Cid the hell alone Shadow, you've done enough damage today" I proclaimed as I got up and walked over to his table, Shadow gave a cock-eye expression "he addressed me first, your *snicker* majesty...if he didn't want me to speak he should of just left well enough alone" Shadow reasoned. "What the hell is with you today?" Setzer chipped in, "first it was Locke now it's Cid ease up man, you trying to compensate for something?" Setzer questioned, Shadow laughed a deep throaty laugh "you make it sound as if I've targeted people specifically, both Cid and Locke addressed me first, I can't be held accountable for their reactions to my replies, pfeh!...I never should of even shown my face here, you know what?...Fuck you all, I'm going".

Shadow got up and made for the door, "not soon enough" I proclaimed "I liked you alot more when you didn't say much" I continued, before exiting Shadow turned and looked directly at me and spoke "I only speak when spoken to, if you don't like what I have to say then you should just keep your fucking mouthes shut" then slammed the door closed behind him. I looked over towards Cid who still looked rather shaken, I walked up over to him and put my arm around his shoulder "you alright?" I asked and Cid took a minute to shake the cobwebs before replying "...that man is a genius". I gave Cid an odd expression, and he continued "don't you see what he just did?, He has bested us all in a game of wits".

I raised an inquisitive eyebrow and Cid sighed. "Allow me to explain" Cid began, "I had it in my mind to question Shadow, to pry into his mind some, to read into his behaviors and theorize as to their reason and origin. I began my dialogue with this in mind and sought to read him as if he was a subject for a psychological analysis, and yet, in a matter of moments I found myself in a situation where I was now the subject and Shadow was the questioner. Through some creative wording and deft emotional manipulation Shadow managed to reverse the roles, quite simply he beat me at my own game, he read me, assessed my weaknesses, and moved right for them all in the span of a couple minutes. That man is a genius, a deeply troubled genius, but a genius none the less" Cid concluded.

"You don't have to be a genius to hurt someone emotionally by bringing things up from the past, Cid" I reasoned, "you'd be surprised" Cid replied "to be able to quickly and accurately take data then word and manipulate it to successfully manipulate another human being, takes considerable intelligence" he continued and I shrugged. I looked around, the place was still pretty much empty and the fish weren't biting at all, apparently the 'hey I'm king Edgar, now sleep with me!' and 'hey I saved the world, now sleep with me!' lines don't work well here in Thamasa. Seems like this is going to be a looooong weekend without getting any....

And now for some notes...

I'm aware it was a bit on the short side but I was rather limited in what I wanted to do with this chapter, the next one will probably be much longer, that is unless I all of a sudden decide to drastically change the way I want the story to progres...and that is always a possibility with me =p.

As always comments and critiques are not only welcomed, but encouraged =)

edit-Some spelling errors, I always seem to miss a few after my final proofread somehow pinch.gif

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 17th July 2006 22:49

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Post #124495
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Posted: 17th July 2006 18:17

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Black Waltz
Posts: 970

Joined: 23/4/2004

Awards:
Voted for all the fanart in the CoNvent Calendar 2015. User has rated 150 fanarts in the CoN galleries. Member of more than ten years. User has rated 25 fanarts in the CoN galleries. 
Third place in the Final Fantasy Music CoNtest, 2010-2011 Member of more than five years. Second place in the 2007 Name that Tune contest. Second place in the 2009 Quiz contest. 
First off, I'd like to say I really dig the way you're doing this. The first-person thing is cool, and I love the darkness.

This latest chapter did the best imo of showing the mindset of the two characters-- Shadow and Cid. I like the way these two are portrayed the best, and with Shadow especially you seem to really know what you wanta do.
Aside from the grammar (which I certainly no genius at myself) the only thing that stuck out for me that I wanted to critisize is the last few paragraphs. I loved the line where Cid says "He's a genius...he's bested us at a game of wits." I think the next two paragraphs dragged it more than anything, because at this point we're already aware of the mindgame going on between the two, and needs no real further explanation. The rest of that, where it's Edgar talking about getting laid, is fine though.

Hope to see some more from you.

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I fear my heart and fear my soul
Life goes on, it surely will,
Without me and I wonder:
Will I ever see light again?

Life goes on...
Post #124694
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Posted: 17th July 2006 22:44

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Chocobo Knight
Posts: 99

Joined: 27/5/2006

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Thanks =), I see what you're talking about...I did over explain/emphasize a bit at the end there, but not real harm done and I'll keep it in mind in the future

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Post #124721
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Posted: 6th August 2006 10:22

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Holy Swordsman
Posts: 2,034

Joined: 29/1/2004

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Member of more than ten years. Participated at the forums for the CoN's 15th birthday! User has rated 25 fanarts in the CoN galleries. Member of more than five years. 
Second place in the 2004 Gogo Fanfiction contest. Third place in the 2009 Quiz contest. 
Delayed response to all of the above between here and my last comment-

Fan-freakin-tastic, buddy!

As Sherick said, the grammar is a bit off in some locations, but it isn't so bad that I can't read it at all. One thing though, if you would be so kind as to seperate your dialogue with large spaces then it would be much easier for others to read:

example!

"Oranges and Lemons, say the bells of St Clemens." Mog said drolly.

"You owe me three farthings, say the bells of St Martins." Umaro retorted.


It makes it easier to differenciate the speaker when it's seperated. A couple places had me lost and I had to go back in find my place.


Overall, I really like it. Mostly I found it humorous, which is good, because I enjoy the funny in the midst of a serious story.

Edit- Don't feel like you're obligated to make things move quickly. A little calm before the storm never hurt, and quite frankly, I like that it's moving slower, as what you write is entertaining. Don't rush good soup.

This post has been edited by MogMaster on 6th August 2006 10:24

--------------------
If you've been mod-o-fied,
It's an illusion, and you're in-between.
Don't you be tarot-fied,
It's just alot of nothing, so what can it mean?
~Frank Zappa

Sins exist only for people who are on the Way or approaching the Way
Post #127159
Top
Posted: 7th August 2006 02:40

*
Chocobo Knight
Posts: 99

Joined: 27/5/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. 
Chapter 6: Here, there and then somewhere else


Gau seemed as smitten with me as I was with him...'looks like my gamble paid off, I've snagged him' I thought to myself as we entered the front door into the kitchen/diningroom. As soon as Gau closed the door behind him I turned around, got up on my tippy toes and planted a kiss right on his lips, just to make sure I had his attention then I started.

"Gau, I want you to know this isnt some random inclination I've developed overnight or anything...I've felt something about you for...well, quite awhile" I began then walked over to sit down at one of the dining room chairs, Gau continued to stand however, his eyes following me. I continued "I guess it started when I first met you eight years ago right before the collapse, you remember don't you?, On the airship?".

"Yeah, back at Thamasa right before we hit the floating island" he replied and I nodded.

I continued "well, I thought you were attractive...like, really attractive, everything about you...you were so strong and ferocious and had this raw animal magnetism and at the same time you were so silly and sweet and childlike, and you had such a pretty face...you still do!" Gau shrugged and looked kinda embaressed at my complements, this made him seem even cuter from my perspective. I continued "well when I fought side by side with you my attraction only got more intense, but we were both kids back then and I didnt know what to say! I didnt tell anyone, not even Strago" I paused to see if he was still istening, he was, intently I might add which was comforting. I continued "well, fastforward a year after the collapse and everyone was getting back together to kill Kefka...I still felt something for you and it started going beyond just a physical attraction, I felt deeply for you and I was worried and scared for you with every passing day. I was truly relieved when I discovered you were okay...I felt like I was starting to fall in love with you but with the urgency of the world ending and all I didnt want to say anything".

Gau nodded, "please continue" he replied, that made me smile...it was nice to know *someone* cared. I continued "Well after we killed Kefka that was when Clyde revealed everything under threats from Strago to reveal it himself...and if you remember right, I had a pretty explosive reaction to it".

"I can't say I blame you" Gau quipped in.

I continued "well, thats when we all went our seperate ways...and I was deeply upset at the prospect of not seeing you again, and thats when I knew what I was feeling wasn't about to go away but then Strago got cancer and I had to take care of him" I took a deep breathe, and as if sensing my emotions Gau strided over to me, knelt down and held my hand.

"It's alright Relm" he re assured.

I looked into his eyes filled with concern and love, smiled, and continued "well, when Strago died, I made up my mind that I'd well...do what I did when you got here" I finished and looked up at Gau's bright blue kind eyes which seemed to radiate a natural calm that re assured me of my course of action.

Gau began, "well, I'd be lying if I said this is entirely new to me. While it's true I had no idea you had any feelings for me...I sorta felt something for you, but back then I was still just learning how to relate to people and I wasn't even sure what it was I was feeling. When I was with Terra I had my mind occupied with so many other things that I guess I just sorta forgot about it until you well...made your move so to speak. Then I felt something similar to what I felt back then only hundreds of times more powerful" he paused "so I guess what I'm trying to say is that in a round-a-bout way...I was feeling the same thing, or at least something similar" he finished. Hearing him say that made me feel relieved, then it was mutual from the beginning, I threw my arms around him and hugged his massive frame, his size made me feel safe, safe from everything "guess I'm here to stay" Gau wondered aloud as I squeezed him as hard as I could causing Gau to laugh "haha, that tickles!" he exclaimed and picked me up like one would a baby.

Suddenly Gau made a strange expression and sniffed at the air. He put me down then walked over to the window "hey Relm...I think I see your dad coming out of the bar and I was hearing shouting earlier...he looks pretty drunk too, and he doesn't look like he knows where he's going" Gau announced.

"Plffft, so?" I replied and Gau turned towards me with a look of shock.

"He looks like he needs a place to sleep it off..."

"Well he's not staying here!" I interrupted his train of thought. "Clyde never cared about me my entire life! why should I give a damn whether he sleeps in a bed or a gutter?" I reasoned bitterly, and Gau shook his head.

"I understand your anger Relm but I'm not going to let him pass out in an alley, and I smell a rainstorm coming".

I sighed "i'll give you the gil to pay for a room at the inn but he's *not* staying here...I don't want to have anything more to do with him then absolutely necesarry" I was adamant about that.

"Alright that's fair" Gau reasoned and proceded out the door towards Clyde.

I looked up, I was right it did start to rain 'great' I thought to myself. I made haste towards Shadow and cried out "whoa!, whoa! where you going Shadow?"

"leaving, nobody wants me here" Shadow replied as he walked past without making eye contact, he reaked of vodka.

I tried reasoning "Shadow, you don't know what you're saying...you're drunk and need to sleep it off" Shadow turned to face me.

"Don't tell me what to do you freak" he spat out "why don't you go back to that house over there and fuck my daughter some more, hell, do it RIGHT HERE in front of me and see if I give a fuck!...she's your fucking problem now! first she was Strago's problem and now she's yours...never my problem, and that's how I aim to keep it!" Shadow ranted.

"Who are you trying to convince of that Shadow, me, or yourself" I replied, and for a moment there seemed to be an emotional crack in this facade of his but it quickly vanished .

"Eh, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you damned...nyughhh....*snore*" taking advantage of his drunken and distracted state I grabbed ahold of a nerve on the back of his neck, a technique I learned from observing monster behavior as a teenager, I slung Shadow up over my back and walked him over to the inn. I slapped the gil for the night down on the table, laid Shadow out on a bed and instructed the innkeeper to let him sleep his drinking off through the night.

I made my way back to Strago's, or rather Relm's house, opened the door and closed it behind me. Before I knew what was happening Relm was on me *again* 'not implying it was bothersome but I was certainly taken aback by how much of a sexual aggressor she was' she backed me up against the door and wrapping her left leg behind my midsection actually climbed up onto me holding my head in her bousm with her legs wrapped around under my armpits and clinging to my back. I manuevered myself carefully as not to fall and sat down on a chair, and things proceeded largely as one would imagine...

.............

"Excellent parry Sir Sabin!" Cyan exclaimed as I knocked another of his sword strikes aside. I took a swing with my off-hand but Cyan skillfully evaded while keeping my other hand tied up with his sword then stepped back to distance himself while swinging his blade about to deter an advance. Knowing that if I didn't close the distance he would be able to strike with impunity I rushed forward, catching each swing at an off angle to deflect the blows. Midst my deflections Cyan noticed I had turned slightly to parry his last strike leaving my right shoulder exposed, Cyan whilrled his blade around and brought it down but I narrowly evaded. I noticed Cyan had overshot the slash slightly leaving his front exposed and quickly stepped forward knocking the blade aside with one hand then tagging him above the left brow with the other, not hard, but with enough force to let him know he was tagged *I have excellent control*. "Alright, that was a tag!" I proclaimed.

"Methinks this bringeths the scores to 6 and 6 Sir Sabin, t'is a tie" Cyan replied.

"Good, well lets leave it at that cause' I'm exhausted, we've been at this for hours!...phew" I plonked myself down on a log.

"Indeed, twas a most exhausting match" Cyan agreed as he sat upon the log adjacent to mine. These sparring sessions had sort of become a tradition between the two of us over the past seven years, since there really aren't any monsters for two warriors like us to go out and fight anymore we find this is a good way to keep our skills sharp. "Your control still amazes me Cyan, never, not once have you ever drawn blood when you tag me" I complemented.

"And narry have you ever left the slightest of't bruises Sir Sabin" Cyan complemented right back, ever since becoming a retainer to Figaro, Cyan has been like a dad to me and I like a son to him.

"YEAH!, THAT WAS SOOOOOO COOL!" I heard a voice coming from the scrubs behind, I turned around and there was Rachel jumping up and down excitedly with Terra seated beside her.

Before I could ask where the hell they came from Rachel ran up to me.

"Uncle Sabin!" she squealed with joy.

"Hey little monster!" I replied and picked her up under the armpits and swung her around onto my lap.

She continued excitedly "we were watchin' the whooooole time!, you were like *this* and Cyan was like *this* and you were soooo cool, and, and, and..." I laughed "I want to be a great warrior like you and Cyan when I grow up!" Rachel declared with enthusiasm then jumped down off my knee and proceeded to dart around the camp site while weilding a stick fallen from a nearby tree. Terra watched Rachel frolic with a smile while patiently remaining seated in the grass...it was as if I was totally invisible to her but it is not as if that's any different from how she's always seen me, and It's not like I've given any clue or insentive for her to behave otherwise. Unlike my brother I'm very unsure of myself when it comes to women, indeed, it's lead some to go so far as to assume I'm a homosexual...nothing could be further from the truth, but I supose I fit the bill.

It's funny, I still remember the first words she said to me 'on first glance I thought you were some bodybuilder who strayed from his gym' and she said 'bodybuilder' with this tone of near-disdain. Ever since then I've been WAY to chicken to so much as suggest that I find her attracive, besides, it's not like she's into hee-men types as she more or less said so. I've had dozens of suitors and groupies who've been after me for my body my whole life but I've turned them all away, and I suppose that's a large part of why people like to speculate as to my heterosexuality but I have no interest in stupid sluts like my brother seems to. When I was a kid I saw the way Edgar womanized and fucked everyone in the castle, and I made a promise to myself that I'd never be like that...and I've held true to that promise my whole life. It's no one's business but my own, but, I'm still a virgin, and the only people who know are Celes, Cyan and Edgar.

I guess me and Edgar just went in two completely different directions to fill the void when mom died, I always looked inward for the strength to go on and Edgar always turned outwards to the pleasures of the flesh. Even while pondering things over in my head I keep the same smile and pleasant disposition, afterall, I don't want to bring anyone else down or lay my burdens on another. Rachel was still running around giggling and shouting warcries as she battled imaginary foes scattered throughout the campsite, suddenly I sensed a presence standing behind me.

"You didnt have to hit Clyde in the face like that" I heard Terra's voice scolding from behind.

I looked around and behind and there she was hand on hip "he grabbed Celes by the neck Terra" I reasoned.

"It was a reflex, she punched him in the head, he would of let her go" Terra argued and I shrugged

"Eh, I dunno...I guess I'll apologize to him tomorrow" I conceded.

"I think you should" Terra re-enforced.

Terra had always defended Shadow and his behavior staunchly ever since the final battle and his secrets were revealed. I've always tried to see the good in him myself and I truly doubt he would of actually hurt Celes...so I guess I did act too rashly, but, sometimes it seems to to me like Locke can't protect her the way I feel a husband should, and it's as if I have to make up the difference. Back on the floating island we would of left Shadow for dead if Terra didn't insist we wait for him, even to the point where she refused to board with us should we have left without him. Out of all of us she really believes the most adamantly that he is in reality a good person, and just deeply troubled. Now, I try to see the good in everyone and everything and I don't doubt that Shadow has his redeeming qualities and on some level cares about us and the world...afterall...if he didn't he wouldn't of done what he did on the floating continent. But, and there is a *but* I doubt Shadow has the capacity to express his care in any shape other then his actions when things really come down to the wire. His scars are to deep and his psychosis to severe.

Suddenly it began to rain, strange, the stormclouds seemed to come out of nowhere. "Awwwe!, PHOOEY! I hate the rain!" Rachel complained as Cyan rose from his seat.

"Come m'lady, t'would be a shame if thine exquisite dress was't to be ruined" Cyan reasoned with a warm smile and took her hand to lead her back to Thamasa. Terra followed shortly after Cyan and I after her, staring at her beautiful form in secret and cursing my cowerdice as I trailed behind.

...

I was betrayed, laid out and left to die by the forces I had sold out to...and for the first time I realised what I truly hated all these years...was myself. As I was lying there on the corner of the floating continent I saw three figures drop from an overhead ship and I instantly recognized them as the same people I had betrayed, I expected them to kill me outright. They landed and there where the three before me the Figaro twins and the lovesick half-esper lass from the boat, but instead of the cold bite of a blade I felt the healing touch of magic and was greeted by a warm smile. They invited me to once again fight alongside them, and seeing as the alternative consisted of lying in a ditch and dying I took them up on their offer. I traveled with them battling all manners of abhorrent monsters ranging from mighty dragons to huge floating heads with psionic powers, and in truth I didn't know where I was going or who my enemy was anymore or even why I was trying...for the first time in my life I had realized myself for who I was...a disgusting slimeball sack of shit.

I was not worthy of fighting alongside such fine men and women, and especially alongside a young girl so innocent, sweet and beautiful...perhaps I felt I had to protect her, perhaps she reminded me of the daughter I abandoned long ago. I shielded her from harm in our many battles as she slung spells and blade with equal devestating skill, I blinded eyes with thrown shurikens and slit throats with my knives...for that moment in time my life was forfeit, I was worthless, just an empty husk, a shell to be thrown about where needed. The pain was nothing to me, my whole existence was pain and any physical pain inflicted upon me by those beasties paled in comparison to the consuming internal suffering that comprised every waking moment of my existence...they didn't know who they were fucking dealing with, no one did, no one understands, no one would ever understand. As we fought onwards, on and on we finally encountered a beast so terrible I fully expected to die fighting it, it called itself Atma nothing more nothing less.

The Figaro brothers and the girl Terra fought with the ferocity that only one who truly believes in their cause can, and I, I fought with a suicidal tenacity, without fear, without emotion, without any thought to myself or my wellbeing...I simply did not care whether I lived or died. Perhaps it was this insanity which lead me to land the blow which felled the great beast for that is the only thing I've ever been good at my whole life...killing...and sensing my work was done and overcome with sudden shame and guilt I fled their company, choosing instead to observe from a distance, and thank the gods that I did.

I witnessed a terrible act that as fate would have it only 'I' was properly suited to prevent from reaching it's utmost terrible conclusion. The demented clown Kefka trapped the Figaro brothers and the girl Terra in some sort of magical field then turned and slew his master, and through some trick of fate managed to command the Goddess statues to do his bidding. The General Celes appeared I assumed to do his bidding as well but she instead turned and attacked him. He prepared himself to slay them and I realized that if he was to act then he would destroy the world, he would destroy the innocent Terra, he would destroy Strago...and he would destroy my daughter...I could not allow this. I hurled myself at Kefka, knocking him down before he could act and somehow that act freed them from the forcefield. Then I leapt to my feet and as quick as I could I manuevered the statues in such a way as to trap Kefka as the General Celes, the brothers Figaro and the girl Terra all fled for their airship as demonic clownlike beings assumedly of Kefka's creation chased and engaged them.

I tried to my utmost to pin Kefka down but it was a failed endevor from the beginning. Kefka threw energy forward knocking the statue from him and crashing into me with such a force that it propelled me backwards and down crashing into the hard, unforgiving and alien surface of the floating continent then bouncing backwards into and contorting in mid-air, I felt bones break and my left leg up to my pelvis became dead weight. I crashed back down into the ground and rolled off to the right tumbling down unforgiving terrain, being tossed like a rag doll by the momentum built up until I found myself at the eastern edge of the continent, dangling on the edge. By chance the girl Terra was there and having insisted that the others waited for me so were they, they hoisted me up and she grabbed me, leaping with me to the airship and again healing my wounds. It was all black, I couldn't see anything, I could just feel her holding onto me and trembling, and if I'd of had the strength I'd of been trembling too...and screaming when the bolt hit cracking the ship in too.

We were seperated, thrown in opposite directions by the blast and sent plummeting downwards into the black, dank, dark abyss below, it was terrifying, it was the most fear I had ever felt, the worst, I couldn't take it I...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I awoke screaming, to find myself in the Thamasa inn 'Owe, my head' was my first thought upon gathering my senses, I looked out my room window and it was the dead of night and pouring rain, I instinctively scoured the room for Interceptor before realizing that he had been dead for years. I sighed a sigh of mixed relief, grief and loneliness and tried to get back to sleep...

As always, comments and critique are welcome! =D

Edit- read MogMaster's suggestion to put line breaks to indicate a change in who's talking, and corrected a few typos and inconsistencies

edit2-corrected a minor grammatical error that I missed before

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 12th August 2006 00:41

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Post #127263
Top
Posted: 21st August 2006 06:04

*
Chocobo Knight
Posts: 99

Joined: 27/5/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. 
Hey!, lates better then never right guys?...anyway, here's chapter seven

*WARNING* adult themes ahead, procede at your own risk *WARNING*

Chapter 7: Grey pt. I

I opened my shades expecting to be greeted by the morning sun but was instead treated to the melancholy vistage of grey as far as the eye could see. The sky was covered with clouds and the ground was thick with a dreary fog. The ground looked damp, probably from last night's rainstorm. It didn't matter, as no day no matter how dreary could make me sad right now. I looked back over my shoulder, Gau was still out like a light...apparently you *can* force things to progress faster then normal...hooray for hormones!.

....

It was grey out, the greyest day in months...which I suppose was fitting seeing as this late afternoon was Strago's funeral. I slipped out of my PJs to take a shower, got dressed, left my room and proceded down the stairway to the main lobby of the inn *it had been signifigantly renovated over the past seven years*. Downstairs Locke was sitting in one of the large lobby chairs with Celes sitting on his lap, it struck me as comical the lack of size differentiation present in those two, of course, we are a rather small group of guys with only Edgar and Sabin breaking 6ft...well except for Gau now who's probably even taller then Umaro now. I suppose I have no right to poke fun at Locke since I'm even smaller then him, but I have an excuse since I'm an albino hemophilliac and we're not known to be large people. It's funny, you'd think that being frail would lend itself to me being a cautious person and yet it's done the complete opposite, I mean, my whole life as a kid people always told me that it was a 'miracle I was alive' and that stuck with me, but in a different way then intended...I mean, if life, and mine particularly, could end so unexpectedly...then to hell with it!, live it up here and now, and I haven't died yet. This scar on my face tells a helluva story, I almost died because the blood wouldn't clot...but I didnt, and that in of itself is exactly what I'm talking about, you don't know if you don't try.

Celes has grown, she hit a spurt midway through nineteen so she's actually taller then Locke now, and I'd wager about the same weight, if not heavier since she did put on a little weight after the pregnancy that seems to have stuck with her...but goddamn she is *STILL* so friggen hot, Locke has no idea how lucky he is, if I'd of had the opportunity I would of done 'everything' to her.

"Hey you two!, Valkyrie and midget" I yelled out to them as I walked over, "keys?" I asked to which I was met with a disapointed sigh "it's not like you'd be doing any flying today anyway, and I'd like to have em" I insisted with my arms crossed.

"Yeah, yeah hold on...they're in my pocket somewhere" Locke replied as he fished around for them.

"I don't know where you get off calling Locke a midget, he's bigger then you are" Celes said defensively.

"Next to you he does, or rather 'under' you" I replied with a sly grin and Celes blushed with embaressment.

"Here ya go!" Locke exclaimed and tossed the keys in my direction which I snatched from the air.

I couldn't get the disturbing yet equally hilarious vision of Celes laying on top of Locke out of my head, I had too ask, it was too damned funny a question "so...who's on top?"

Locke and Celes gave me a shocked expression, "what do you mean?" Locke asked.

"Come on, we're all adults here so tell me...who's on top?" I asked, and Celes blushed with more embaressment and Locke gave me a funny look, not a dirty look but a look that said 'I wonder where you're going with this'. "Alright, since miss prissypants is too embaressed to tell us how 'bout you Locke, who's on top?"

Locke laughed and said "Celes, almost always".

"LOCKE!" Celes exclaimed.

"What?, what's the harm at this point?, we've been married for six years" Locke reasoned and Celes "hrrrmphed".

I laughed "do you ever worry about her accidently crushing you?" I asked while stifling more laughter as Celes grew redder with rising anger and more embaressment.

Locke continued to laugh "haha, the thoughts actually crossed my mind before...but it'd be a nice enough way to go" Locke replied still laughing, triggering more laughter from me and more reddening from Celes. I was laughing so hard my sides ached, "haha, I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to make fun" Locke reasoned and Celes turned her head away, "awwwe come on...anyway, my legs starting to get pretty numb so could you get up?" suddenly a cruel smile came over Celes' face.

"No, if I'm so darned big I'm going to sit here and squish you" Celes teased playfully with a mean smile.

"Okay Celes, it's not funny anymore get off me" Locke grabbed the sides of Celes back and tried to sit up and lift her off but she scooted back, reached behind and pinned his hands to the arm rest by his wrists...this was starting to get hilarious. "Celes, that's enough get off me...my knees are really starting to hurt".

"Too bad!" Celes teased as she bounced up and down on Locke's lap, swiveling her hips to grind her tailbone into him, at this point I was practically on the floor rolling in laughter.

"Owe, owe, owe, owe Celes please get off me, you're hurting me" Locke uttered through mincing teeth as Celes proceded to ground his lower-half into dust.

"Ohhh, you big baby!" Celes exclaimed teasingly as she got up off Locke who immediately began rubbing his aching thighs.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh my god, hahahaha...that was so goddamned funny, hahahahaha" I was laughing so hard I was crying.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you Setzer" Celes said with that mean smile still on her face 'uh oh' I thought and started running but she was hot on my heels and tackled me to the ground before I could make it to the door.

She overpowered me, and pinned me to the ground sitting on my chest with her knees on my arms "oops I'm sorry, am I 'crushing' you?" Celes teased and bounced up and down on my chest forcing the air rushing out of my lungs.

"Celes...get...get off...I can't...breathe" I stammered out between coughs.

"She plonked down hard on my chest causing one big cough "take it back" she said with her arms crossed.

"Okay, I take it back...I take it all back, you're not that big" I stammered out *still with a smile on my face*. Celes laughed and got off me and now Locke was the one laughing himself onto the floor. I got up, dusted myself off, hid my erection which luckily no one saw 'and it's *HUGE* hurr hurr', and straightened out my jacket.

Celes turned to Locke and lovingly grabbed the bottom of his chin "remember, I can take you down any time I want" Celes lovingly cooed to him.

"Not like I'd ever complain" he replied slyly and was promptly drawn into a kiss for his trouble. Feeling myself gradually being overcome by the proverbial 'three eyed green monster known as envy' I decided it would be best for me to retreat to the airship.

....

I watched the spectacle from over at the continental breakfest buffet table, which my brother had more or less cleared entirely. Not sausage nor toast nor egg nor danish was safe from his appetite, but fortunately the rest of us had been content with more modest 'see humane' portions. Cyan, Terra, Shadow, Rachel and Cid were all still asleep as far as I knew and I assume Gau and Relm are at Strago's old house, either still asleep or eating breakfast I suppose. Thoughts of others and what they're doing tend to consume my thoughts, at least when I'm not scoring tail that is. I see my friends as sort of my extended family, and I suppose my role as a king has shaped me in the sense that I feel as though I have to look out for everyone. My brother practically still is a little kid, hell, he hasn't even had sex yet and he's thirty five years old!...I'd hook him up but I know he'd refuse it, I'd swear he was gay if I didn't know he had a thing for Terra. Sabins definately an odd one, always has been.

I could never have what Locke and Celes have...I've never been as comfortable with the idea of emotional intimacy as I've been with physical intimacy. I could never allow a single person to consume to majority of my concerns as I have an entire kingdom to worry about not to mention a childlike brother and a whole cabal of companions I need to look after and it would be selfish to allow a single person to supercede them in such a way. People can think of me as a petty pervert or merely uncaring it doesn't matter to me, what matters is that I can maintain a position where I can look after everyone and if I were to grow emotionally attatched to a single woman over all others it would compromise that. I said it once and I'll say it again 'Sometimes I hate to be a King' and it's as true now as it was then. I suppose in a less outwardly apparent way I'm just as odd as my brother.

"*BEEEELCH* whoo!, well I'm done here...I'm gonna go hit the can then head out back and train" Sabin announced as he rose from his table and proceded in the direction of the restroom which will most likely be rendered uninhabitable for the next eight hours. I slumped back into my booth from which I could survey the main lobby and staircase, and therfore keep a watchful eye on everyone. Locke and Celes were laughing and joking over what had just transpired with Setzer and were going up the stairs to wake Rachel and then leave I would assume. I figure I'll stick around to get everyone else organized once they've awoken.

....

It was so grey outside, grey as far as I could see...I found it saddening, I always loved to be greeted by the sun in the morning upon opening the blinds. I sighed to myself and slipped out of my nighty to take a quick shower before getting dressed. I was figuring on going to visit Gau and Relm to see how they were doing, and I was hoping to get Clyde to come with me...it makes me sad to see such a void between him and his daughter. I exited my room and proceded to his room 'I knew which one it was as I had heard him screaming in his sleep last night' and knocked on the door to which a gruff and mumbled voice replied "...nyugrghh...who is it?"

"It's Terra, can I come in?" I replied in my usual mousey way.

"H...hold on" Clyde replied from behind the door. I heard no footsteps but nevertheless the door unlocked and I took it upon myself to open the door seeing as it was unlikely Clyde would open it for me. Upon opening the door I saw Clyde shirtless from behind walking back to his bed, a large prominant scar pertruded diagnally starting at the upper left area of his shoulders and ending in a straight line towards the right of his lower back. He is very pale, not albino pale like Setzer but as close as one can be without actually lacking melinin altogether, his hair is the exact same shade of brown as Relm's and reaches down to his shoulders.

Clyde turned around and sat on his bed looking at me with a blank expressionless stare with consistent unblinking eye contact, his eyes are a cold shade of grey almost like stone. Before I could even speak Clyde interrupted me "Terra I'm not going with you to see Relm, I have no interest in her and she has nothing but scorn for me" he stated blankly.

I sighed "Clyde...", "please don't call me that" he interrupted again before rising from his bed to approach me.

"Terra, I'm not who you think I am" he began "you see things in me that simply are not there", "thats not true Clyde!" I raised my voice as my emotions flared.

This time Clyde sighed "why do you want me to go with you?, It will change nothing" he reasoned in his cold straightforward way of thinking, I looked up at him...I couldn't help but slightly tear at the eyes with the emotion I was feeling.

I reached up and grabbed the bottom of his chin to bring his face closer to mine, he didn't so much as flinch "Clyde...I know you're a good man underneath I know you have feelings inside because you showed me, you showed us all and no matter how much of a facade you've put up...you...you've never fooled me" I started tearing a bit more.

Clyde reached down and wiped the tears away from my face "...you have such pretty eyes" he said as he looked down at me before continuing "Terra, I am undeserving of your emotion please don't fret or feel over me as I'm incapable of returning it".

"I don't believe that" I spoke between sniffles and Clyde sighed again.

"Please leave me be" and with that he walked back to his bed and laid down, hiding my tears with my arm I ran from his room and closed the door behind me...

....

I laid back down on my bed and stared at the ceiling which seemed to stare back at me, I was still kind of hung over and that coupled with my dream from last night had left me feeling rather drained. I had allowed myself a weak moment once in the past where I had felt emotion for Terra, and just now again I felt something resembling genuine empathy. I honestly did not want to tell her to leave but it was more for her sake then mine...if I were to allow her to grow close to me I'd only end up abandoning and hurting her like I did to Relm...and Baram...and everyone else who's ever made the mistake of relying on me for anything, of course it's not like Relm had a choice in the matter seeing as she never asked to be my daughter. I closed my eyes and tried to return to a state of 'hopefully' dreamless sleep.

...

"Ahh!, that was great!" I declared after finishing the last bite of the breakfast Relm had prepared triggering a giggle and smile. Relm came over to where I was seated and sat next to me, looking up into my face and suddenly asked a question of me.

"Gau, you know alot about my past but I honestly don't know much about your's...what happened?" she asked with legitamite curiosity and wonder.

I looked back and replied "well, what do you mean?...you know I was abandoned on the veldt as an infant...", "see thats just it!" Relm interrupted.

"How did you survive as an infant?, something had to of happened, someone had to provide for you as a newborn".

I let out a deep breath "...it's a really weird story" I replied "I honestly never told anyone because I never thought they'd believe me...I didn't even tell Terra and she practically knows everything else there is to know about me".

Relm looked up at me with loving eyes, took my hand and said "baby...you can tell me anything" and even though we'd only been 'close' as it were for two days...I trusted her completely.

"Alright, well...I told you it was strange so don't be surprised if you hear some parts that are impossible for you to believe...even I have trouble believing it" Relm nodded and I began my story...

It was snowing and I was crying and naked in the middle of the wild plains of the veldt. My father in his delerium had left me here but in my infant state I knew nothing, only that it was cold, that it hurt, and I wanted my mommy who I never knew, being practically torn from the womb and left here to die within the span of a couple hours...but then...something amazing happened. I don't know why I remember this in such clarity but I remember it nonetheless.

Through the swirling freezing snow I saw a figure, distinctly feminine...I can only describe her as an angel...an angel in the snow. She drew near then picked me up and drew me up into her warm embrace, her body radiated this natural warm...it was surreal. She held me to her bousum and I instinctively suckled her teat, drawing in warm, sustaining, nourishing milk. Her warm feathery wings wrapped around her form like a cocoon embracing me along with her arms and giving me great warmth. I suckled at her nourishing breast for hours blissfully unaware of much else, I knew she was moving but I don't know where she took me. It gets really hazy after that...but I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in her arms and I vaguely remember spending the rest of my developing years secluded in a cave, being looked after by this angel in the snow.

When I was...I think, no more then either three or perhaps four years old she took me by my hand out of the cave and out onto the veldt...and then...the landscape 'changed'. I really don't know how to describe it, but, picture you're walking down a road and suddenly all your surroundings get fuzzy, then wavy like vapor, then they disapear altogether and you have tunnel vision...all you can see is what you're walking towards up ahead and its 'different' its like you're walking towards another world.

"Now this is where things start to get really strange" I warned and Relm nodded, I continued...

I found myself walking with her through what seemed like a forest, and as you know there are no forests on the veldt...but this forest was different. There were mushrooms as big as I was for example, some of them extrordinarily colored with shades of turqoise, blue and violet. The trees were so tall they stretched *into* the sky...as in you could not tell where the trees ended and where the sky began, and they were all around...trees as far as the eye could see in all directions. Then we came to this clearing...and well... up in the trees there were Elves playing harps...

"Elves?!" Relm exclaimed with a skeptical face.

"Yeah Elves" I replied "I don't know what else to call them". "They were tall and had long elegant fingers and their features were very refined and chizzled with high cheekbones, slanted eyes, long pointed noses and chins, and pointed ears. Their hair ranged from blonde to red to brown to black and again I have no idea why I remember this so clearly" I explained.

"...Alright, continue" Relm replied with curiosity and wonder, I continued again...

She lead me past the harp-playing Elves and into the clearing, and there was a campfire surrounded by howling wolves. She instructed me to sit down and stare into the fire. I sat down and gazed into the fire...and I saw these little faeries inside the flames dancing, and their dance entranced me...I couldn't look away, then, it was like the whole world was spinning, and spinning fast. I had the same sensation from when I was lead to this place, with the tunnel vision and everything...and I saw myself only years older at the same spot where I was abandoned...and I was sleeping by a campfire. I got closer and closer to myself...until I was myself, I was who I saw sitting at that campfire and everything was gone...the Angel, the Elves, the forest, everything. I inexplicably now had the knowhow to survive on my own, I knew how to hunt, how to make a fire, where to find shelter, how to get water, everything I needed to know, and It was only three years later that Sabin and Cyan found me there...living like a monster in the wilds.

"...And thats pretty much everything" I finished and Relm looked back at me with a kinked head and a strange expression "now before you judge this, remember that I have aboslutely no reason to lie or make this up, and that it's as strange for me as it is for you...if not stranger since I experienced it...and you wanted to know how I survived as an infant and so this is what I recall...now you can see why I never told anyone" I explained.

"I have no reason not to trust you Gau...and well...as strange as it may sound if you're telling me angels, elves and enchanted forests...then I believe you" Relm replied with a smile "and...I want to paint what you experienced" she continued "it sounds so fantastic and vivid that I feel like I just 'have' too".

I smiled and reached out to hug her which she eagerly accepted, "wait right here love" Relm said as she backed up and ran up the stairs, then shortly returned with her sketchpad and pencils "okay, now...describe to me in detail as much as you can, I want to sketch them down so I have a point of reference to paint from" I shrugged and began describing the finer details of what I experienced for her to draw...

Allllrighty, now for some author's notes...

I'm aware that the beginning with Setzer, Celes and Locke is rather silly...but whenever I'm writing from Setzer's perspective I feel the need to let my sense of humor run completely rampant...hence the silliness.

I'm also aware that the part with Gau explaining how he survived as an infant was rather 'out there' but the way I see it the event of someone being abandoned as an infant in the most brutal wilderness in the world and somehow not only surviving but thriving and maintaining their humanity is in and of itself rather 'out there' and calls for an equally 'out there' explanation. Even still, perhaps the Elves playing harps was a bit much...but I'm a high-fantasy whore =p.

I also feel I must explain how that scene was inspired. The scene of how Gau survived was entirely inspired by the visions I had in my head while listening to the song 'Sacrement of Wilderness' by 'Nightwish', it had such a profound effect on the story and what I wrote that I felt it deserved an honorable mention.

As always, comments of any kind are welcome! =D

This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 21st August 2006 06:12

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Post #128923
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Posted: 21st August 2006 08:14

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Crusader
Posts: 1,405

Joined: 17/1/2003

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Gau's survival actually triggered some guessing from me, as to who the angel and the elves are, and I hope that you do have that planned wink.gif

Well, I'm eagerly waiting for more.

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"I fell off the mountain of words at around the 10,000ft mark. Tell my family...they owe me money." -Narratorway

"If you retort against this, so help me God I'll shove any part of your anatomy I can find into some other part. Figuratively, of course." - Josh

"We have more, can deliver tuesday." - Del S

Good old CoN
Post #128926
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Posted: 21st August 2006 19:34

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Chocobo Knight
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Joined: 27/5/2006

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Haha, thank you...and yes I do have a sort-of plan in my head as to where I'm going with all this.

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Post #128978
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Posted: 10th September 2006 07:11

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Chocobo Knight
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Joined: 27/5/2006

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Alright!, sorry this took so long but I've been pre-occupied with many other activities, and I'm sorry to say this will be the last update for awhile as I've started college and won't have as much time as I would like. But not to worry as I see myself continuing this in the forseeable future...just not the too near-future =p. In any event, this last chapter kinda wraps things up it can be considered sort of the end of my first 'saga' if you will. And also, since I won't be writing as much any more I touched up and spell checked all my previous chapters, and in this post I will present them to you in their entirety, in their touched up and spell-checked forms, in adition to the new chapter...so, without further adu...

**WARNING** course language and adult themes ahead, turn away now if such things offend you **WARNING**

Introduction

It's been seven years since Kefka's death, and things have more or less turned back to normal. One of the immediate things that followed Kefka's death was of course the end of magic in this realm which has been a double edged sword. It's true that without magic things have been a bit more difficult to get up and running again but the good news is that all those magical aberrations and terrible monsters either died out, or are largely harmless now.

Fields and pastures have been resewn, forests replanted, the rains have returned, and people are beginning to prosper once more. Narshe has been cleared of monsters and made inhabitable once again, and is rebuilding it's infrastructure and beginning to reclaim it's status as industrial production juggernaut. A lot of effort has gone into rebuilding Mobliz and Terra has assumed the position of it's per-facto governess, she still takes care of all those orphans too so she's been an extremely busy woman. Locke married Celes and they have a daughter named Rachel now, they live in Kohlingen.

Setzers been doing everything we've come to expect from him...gambling, drinking, seeing operas and flying all over the place. Edgar has of course resumed his role as king of Figaro, but Sabin now rules alongside him as co-regent...it's really just a meaningless title more then anything else seeing as Sabin spends most of time training himself and smoking grass instead of actually doing anything that would normally be expected of a co-regent.

Cyan has pledged himself as retainer to Figaro and now serves Edgar as commander of the army, he's also been insructing an elite vanguard corp. of Samurai modeled on the old Doma style...I really see no point in keeping an army anymore, since it's not likely there’s gonna be war for AWHILE now.

Mog went back into the caves with Umaro...no ones seen much of him lately, but everyone tells me he's changed...ALOT, he's all dark and morose now, seems like he isn’t taking being the last of his species very well after all. Gau was living with Terra in Mobliz for awhile, and has changed a lot over the years. For one he's finally learned to speak properly, that and he's come to understand that hides and loin cloths aren't acceptable attire in the civilized world. He's still far from normal but at the very least he can pass himself off as being half civilized now, last I heard he went back to the Veldt and built a self-sufficient little cabin like the one his crazy old man has.

None of us know what happened to Gogo, he just sort of vanished after we got out of the tower, he was just sort of standing there smiling and the next thing we knew he was gone. After the final battle, well...Strago looked right at me and said "Clyde, if you don't tell her 'I' will" seeing no alternative I told Relm everything. Her reaction can be summed up with a few quotes from the torrent of shouting that ensued "How could you do that to me?, I WAS ONLY A CHILD!" and "I HATE YOU, YOU'RE THE WORST FATHER IN THE WORLD!" to "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN IN MY LIFE!" pretty much everything you would expect from someone who just found out their dad was a no good train robber who abandoned them as an infant and never visited them or even showed that they cared they existed.

I dealt with it the way I've always dealt with pain or emotion I couldn't kill...by drawing back in silence to dwell in a state of perpetual anxiety, and like always the pain turned inwards feeding into my rotting self-hate. I've been living alone with only interceptor for company for the past seven years, or at least I had him for company before he finally died of old age...he was sixteen. I've been wandering from pub to pub to drink away my pain while toying with the idea of killing myself. Occasionally I'll run into Setzer but rarely anyone else, and I hadn't spoken to Strago or Relm at all for the past seven years...when suddenly I received a letter in the mail in Relm's handwriting...it simply read "Stragos dead, funeral in Thamasa".


Chapter 1: A clockwork Arrowny

My name is Clyde Arrowny, or at least...it used to be. Everyone calls me Shadow, and I'm more comfortable with that then Clyde, I'm too scum to deserve a name anyway. I'm the scum of the earth, I have done everything wrong that one could possibly imagine. I've killed innocent people for money, I let my best friend get captured, I abandoned my daughter as an infant, and to top it all off I sold out to the empire knowing FULL WELL what that meant. Then, in a pathetic attempt to redeem myself I tried, and failed, to stop Kefka from ushering in this age of ruin, I failed in the ONE chance I had to redeem myself, but that’s to be expected I mean...I am a failure. I'm a failure as a hero, I'm a failure as a father, I'm a failure as a friend, I'm a failure as a lover, I'm a failure as a companion, I AM A FAILURE IN EVERY POSSIBLE SENSE OF THE WORD...they should of just left me to die on that floating continent.

I was in Albrook when I got the message, and considering everything Strago's done or rather 'did' for me I figured I should at least pay my last respects so I booked passage on a commercial transport ship. It took about eight hours to get there and the boat ride was completely un-eventful, when I got off I was surprised to find that no one else was there yet. I made my way to Strago's house and found a note on the door, again in Relm's handwriting "funeral at General Leo chapel", the General Leo chapel was a chapel built after the final battle in front of the site where Leo was buried to honor his memory. I entered and saw a small congregation gathered consisting of a few townspeople, the Elder, and Strago's boyhood friend Gungho. Relm was sitting up front left dressed in black, she noticed my presence and turned to face me as I approached the casket to take a last look at the man who raised my daughter.

Suddenly, Relm asked in a very matter-of-fact tone "where's interceptor?",

"died" I replied "about half a year ago" I continued

Relm took an annoyed tone "and you didn’t tell me?",

"saw no need" I responded.

"He was my puppy before he was your attack dog!, Clyde!, don't you think I would of liked to know?".

She grew visibly irritated...this was going largely as I expected "the thought didn’t occur to me" I was lying, I just never wanted to tell her, "and please don't call me that" I continued.

"Don't call you what?" Relm retorted now practically snapping at me,

"...Clyde" I was beginning to get annoyed myself,

"well that’s your name, ISNT IT?!, CLYDE ARROWNY?!",

"I DON'T HAVE A NAME!, I'M SHADOW!" I found myself shouting, I then noticed the entire congregation staring at us,

"Bah!" Relm snapped as she threw her arm out in disgust and turned away, "I invited everyone else, they should be here soon" Relm spat out as she stared at the ground in front of her. I slunk away into a shadowy corner by the doorway, I figured I'd stick around...I had nothing better to do, and it was important to me on a sentimental level to stay, afterall Strago did more for me then I could of ever thanked him for.

I waited around for a few minutes before the first attendees arrived, it was the Figaro brothers Edgar and Sabin, and they were each dressed in matching black suits. Sabin looked over in my direction "Hey Shadow!, It's been ages how ya been?" he shouted in his usual jovial tone, I looked over and gave Sabin a slight nod to let him know I was acknowledging him, but I didn't feel like speaking. Edgar nudged Sabin and whispered, but I could hear him anyway as my senses are extrordinarily acute "I know you try to see the good in everyone little brother, but even after all we've been through I still wouldn't trust that man...he's done a lot he's yet to answer for" Sabin just looked at Edgar and shook his head, Edgar shrugged. His words didn’t anger me at all really, afterall I wouldn't trust me if I knew me.

The two of them were followed immediately by Cyan who was as per usual dressed in his armor with his sword sheathed and dangling from his belt. The three proceeded upwards to take a last look at Strago, Cyan ceremoniously took out his sword and placed it point down on the ground while resting his head on the pommel, and mumbled a quick prayer. Meanwhile, Edgar and Sabin looked down at Strago and talked amongst themselves.

"It's weird he'd die so young...I mean, he was only in his late seventies, right?, and he was really healthy as far as I knew, I was figuring he'd be pushing a hundred plus before he finally kicked off" Sabin questioned,

"cancer" Relm spoke up in a low tone. All three turned towards her "it started up a couple years after we killed Kefka" Relm continued.

"Cancer?, what's that?" Sabin asked as Edgar and Cyan looked on equally puzzled.

Relm continued "it's this weird new disease thats been happening to people ever since the collapse, but with magic and all it was never really a problem and you could treat it real easily as long as you knew someone who could heal or had a healing rod or something like that".

"What does it do?" Edgar asked,

"no ones really sure" said Relm "it's like your body starts eating itself, it's really slow and painful, a truly horrible way to die" she continued.

'I deserved that, not Strago' I thought to myself while overhearing their conversation.

Relm continued "I didnt tell anyone what was happening because I didn't want any of you to see him like the way he was, he was in so much pain and just slowly dying getting worse and worse and no one could do anything...I didn't want any of you to share the burden of knowing him like that, me and the townspeople just did everything we could for him in his final days...he was in so much pain he couldn't even move or eat, I...." Relm started crying.

Cyan quickly knelt down beside her, hugging onto her "It's alright, It's alright m'lady" I felt like shit, a deadbeat worthless sack of excrement like myself had to rely entirely on others to comfort his own daughter, all I know how to do is kill, and the killings over...I personify the term 'worthless'. Relm continued crying, as Cyan ever the chivalric ideal continued to comfort her "He's in a better place now m'lady Relm, a place where he ist' to be rewarded for all he hast' done for thee and the world" he rubbed her back as Edgar and Sabin looked on sympathetically.

Relm regained her composure "thank you" she squeaked out between sniffles "you're all like a family to me" she continued,

Cyan arose "I mourn thine loss, t'is a loss for us all" he spoke then bowed before taking a seat in the third row from the right behind the townspeople,

Sabin put a hand on Relm's right shoulder and looked down "hang in there kid...I know how you feel, I lost my father when I was around your age",

"Strago practically 'was' her father Sabin" Edgar chipped in. Whether or not this was an insult intended for me I know or care not, he was right after all.

The Figaro brothers smiled down at Relm who smiled back weakly then they took seats beside Cyan, meanwhile I contemplated killing myself for perhaps the third time today, suddenly my train of thought was interrupted by several footsteps and my eyes darted to the door. Locke, Celes, their daughter Rachel and Cid had entered. Cid rushed past me between the rows of seats and up to the coffin with Celes frantically trailing behind him as Locke with Rachel in his arms slowly made his way past me without even making eye contact...Locke didn’t like me much, I knew it and he knew that I knew, and couldn't care less.

Cid glanced down at Strago "the new disease?" he asked without taking his eyes off Strago's corpse.

"...Yeah" Relm replied somberly.

Cid banged his fist down on the side of Strago's casket "Damnit!" he exclaimed while holding his head down as if in shame,

Celes hugged onto Cid "it's not your fault granddad, you couldn't of done anything for him" she reasoned.

"Ever since Kefka was destroyed I've sworn to atone for all my past sins against humanity!" Cid exclaimed once again, "I swore to use my scientific knowledge to help, not hurt, mankind...and this disease is more my responsibility then anyone else's" he continued "...after all, I had a hand in creating Kefka...the monster who caused this all" he added with a hint of bitterness and shame.

"You couldn't of done anything Cid" Relm added still somberly,

"that’s not the point" Cid continued "this is just another life claimed by this terrible sickness that I in all my scientific and medical knowledge am totally powerless against, just yet another life cruelly taken away by a baffling and terrible disease that I am in a way responsible for!" Cid continued to exclaim, now shouting.

"Calm down" Locke reasoned as he approached, "it's not like blaming yourself is going to bring you any closer to a cure" he continued,

"that’s true!" Celes added as Cid regained his composure,

"I apologize for flying off the handle like that...but this is a highly emotional issue for me" Cid explained "I have to find a cure, it's my life's mission" he concluded, and took a seat in the row behind Sabin, Edgar and Cyan. Cid has become a bit obsessive about atoning, methinks he went mad on the solitary island, he could cure every disease known to man but that still wouldn't change what he's done, he's a fool.

Locke looked down towards Relm "I know how hard death is, trust me, I'm no stranger to it and if you need a place to stay our home is your home...I know you have no family other then Strago" Locke added that last bit glaring at me from the corner of his eye with a scowl, I pretended not to notice it.

"Thanks" Relm answered "but I'm not a little girl anymore, I'll be fine here on my own" she continued then looked up at Rachel "this must be your daughter I heard about" Relm concluded with a smile "hi Rachel" she continued.

Rachel looked down towards Relm with inquisitive childlike eyes and proclaimed "hi!" while waving her arm in front of her face. Rachel got down from Locke's arms and walked up to Relm, looking up at her face Rachel again proclaimed "you're pretty!" as Relm gave a half hearted laugh.

Celes pulled Locke over to a corner and spoke softly, but again I could still hear "you promised me you weren't going to be an asshole today!" she whispered to Locke in a sharp tone.

"I'm not!, but I'm not going to pretend I like the guy either, I *never* did...I hate people like him!" Locke responded even more sharply now barely whispering,

"fine!" Celes replied now exasperated, "just don't start lecturing the guy or start a scene or whatever" she continued,

"I won't" Locke replied. Locke really didn’t like me, we were polar opposites, were as I ran from and ignored my problems Locke developed a psychotic obsession over his, at least I never preserved the corpses of anyone 'I' killed in some lunatic's basement...fucking nut, the irony of myself 'a self-hating, suicidal, sociopath' calling someone a 'nut' was not lost on me.

Locke and Celes came back from their corner, took Rachel and then seats behind Sabin, Edgar and Cyan next to Cid. I heard an airship swish through the air, hum briefly, then land and I knew Setzer had arrived, and sure enough he soon came tromping through the doors to the chapel, but with Terra and Gau in tow. I figured Gau and Terra would come together, they had grown really close over the years considering the last four or five years of Gau's teens were spent with her. Setzer was dressed as usual with his sleeved trenchcoat and pirate-ish getup...stylish my ass, Terra had on a black dress while Gau was nude from the waste up and barefoot, clothed only in a pair of loose fitting tartan checkered trousers. I remembered when Gau used to be short but muscular, he's still muscular but he's not exactly short anymore, he must be at least 6'10 by the look of him, probably more, he might be pushing 7ft as a matter of fact and he couldn't be any less then 285lbs...needless to say he was towering over Setzer and Terra, neither of whom could be considered 'large' by any stretch of the imagination. All three stopped to say hi to me, I smiled and nodded then raised my right palm to signal that I didn’t want to talk and they proceeded down to see Strago.

As soon as they got near the corpse, Gau bent down and started sniffing "yeah, definitely dead" he said aloud to himself as the townsfolk looked at him with odd expressions, Gau shrugged "old habits die hard I guess" he offered as an explanation. The three took their last looks at Strago, "weeeel, thats the luck o' the draw!" Setzer added as an attempt at conciliation, "life can end any moment, thats why ya gotta live it up while you can" he continued...he was so empty-headed and foolish, dear GODS did I ever want to hit him. Terra looked down at Strago's corpse, then she started to get emotional and turned her gaze away. Gau hugged Terra and whispered "it's alright ma, it's alright" I guess he must've started calling her that after living with her awhile. Terras really emotional, very different then me, and yet, she is more so convinced then anyone that there is a good person inside me...perhaps it has something to do with that advice I gave her before the collapse...and I'd be lying if I said I didn’t feel some form of empathy for her, even then. That, and she looks so much like Melinda...those same sparkling green eyes that Relm seems to have inherited.

I cleared my minds of such thoughts, they're futile and stupid. I began to wonder, why am I still here?, What purpose am I serving?...I know I was planning to kill myself and I probably would have, that is if Strago hadn't of revealed all when he did, but what difference does that make?, Why haven't I ended my life over the past seven years?, Lord knows I've contemplated it time and time again...I mean, everyone, Relm especially would be much better off if I just died. Why did Strago even tell her anything?, He swore to me long ago he would never speak a word of it...I thought he cared about her, he couldn't possibly think her knowing would do any good for anyone...well...it's all irrelevant, she hates me, I know she does, I mean *I* hate me...to hell with it all, I should just slit my own throat right now in front of everyone to see, so they can all rejoice 'hurrah!, hurrah!, Shadow is dead!'.

I suddenly could not stand to share anyone's company, so I silently slipped out the door and rounded the side of the church, finding a shadowy corner to skulk into. I sat with my back to the brick wall and rolled up my sleeves, the scars where still there. I laughed to myself, none of the others knew that when they found me in that cave after the collapse that those wounds weren't made by those behemoth monsters but were self inflicted, an attempted suicide on my part, and if Interceptor didn’t look for help when he did then well...I'd be dead. I leaned back against the brick wall, suddenly I was overcome with memories flashing across the panel of my conscious mind...usually they're just limited to my nightmares but this was different somehow. Baram and me on the run, robbing the trains, running from the law all across the continents, and in the end I couldn’t do it, the only time he ever asked me for anything, and I failed him...just like I've failed myself.

It's hard to believe how fast I blew all the money we stole but, booze, whores and drugs will do that...it's all such a haze, I don't even remember half the shit I did, I was so messed up out of my head. I could see it like it was yesterday, wandering into Thamasa drunk and high...I didn't even know where I was or how I got there, and then that’s when I met her. Melinda, she was so beautiful...it was as if, it all made sense, as if my life had meaning...why did she have to be so sickly and weak?...she died delivering Relm, and I guess that would be the moment Clyde Arrowny died and Shadow was born...it was as if I couldn't take it anymore, my emotions, my humanity, myself...it all just died. Thank the gods for Strago, I don't know how it all would of worked without him, bless his heart, I hope wherever he is now he's getting all the rewards he deserves...he took my daughter in as his own, and gave her everything I couldn't. The things I've done...the people I've killed, all the families I must have torn apart, just killing for money...I kept telling myself I was just doing what I had to do, it was them or me, if I didnt kill I didnt eat...I...I CAN'T TAKE IT!.

Suddenly, all the emotions, all the rage, all the self-hate, all the pain, anguish and grief I keep buried inside assailed me at once in a violent torrent. My mind was racing with thoughts that were not mine, and yet were mine at once "you're a liar Clyde", "you're a despicable human being Clyde", "Your eyes just relay you lies Clyde, burn them out", "you make me sick Clyde", "you're a fucking SCUMBAG CLYDE!", I couldn’t take it anymore and I found myself for the first time in a very long time...crying. Not just a few tears but flat out balling, I was sobbing with grief "I'm sorry" I muttered while tears streamed down my face "I'm sorry Relm, Baram, Strago...I've brought you all nothing but pain...I'm a failure...nothing but a failure, a miserable wretched excuse for a human being" I continued into the ground as my tears streamed down from my face and into the soil forming a small puddle...suddenly I sensed a presence. I looked up, it was Cyan...I wondered how much he had seen, how much he had heard, I didn’t think anyone would see me here, how did he find me?, My mind raced with many questions when suddenly Cyan spoke.

"Thou remindest I of I many years ago...thou must let go", he began as I stared up at his aged face "Thine past is thine past, it will consume thee if thy continue upon thine path of self-destructive self-loathing...life is worth living despite past tragedies", I knew exactly of what Cyan spoke, but he was forgetting some key difference...he had no choice, I did. There was nothing he could of done to save his family, the poisoning took everyone by surprise...I on the other hand, I could of saved Baram...but I didn't, I could have been there for Relm, but I wasn't, and *still* won't...because I'm weak, much weaker then the man standing across from me now or the man who has passed on.

I regained my composure as the decades of self-taught numbness returned, I arose "...not a word of this to anyone Samurai" I stated coldly, Cyan nodded and proceeded back around the church, and I slumped back into my corner to nod off, knowing full well that Cyan's word was his bond and my display of emotion was a secret safe with him.

Chapter 2: The power of love...and insanity

I was tired from the trip over here, but as soon as we got the word we dropped everything and left traveling nonstop all the way from Kohlingen. As soon as Rachel realized Terra was here she got up off Locke's lap and ran over to her, she adores Terra so much, and Terra really is so wonderful with children. Locke got up after her and ended up chatting with Terra, those two have always been close friends, in fact, Locke takes Rachel to see her and the orphans at least once every week. It seems macabre' that Strago dying would end up turning into some sort of friendly reunion, but, that’s probably what he would of wanted...although...he'd probably of also wanted Relm and Shadow, or Clyde rather to be sitting in mourning together...realistically however I don't see that happening. Thinking of which, where did he go?, I looked back over my shoulder and he was gone, then, suddenly Cyan arose "excuse me, sirs, I shan't be but a moment" and with that he promptly exited. Normally I'd wonder, but I was too tired from all the traveling while Locke on the other hand seems all the more invigorated from it, 'great goddesses I love him' I thought to myself, as I began to sleepily drift into daydreams about out first kiss...

After the final battle and escape from the tower and all that, we all just went our separate ways. Since I really had nowhere to go I ended up living at Figaro castle, and despite what one would think it was Sabin who made the offer, not Edgar. Me and Sabin always understood one another and were really close friends, in fact, I would venture to say that he was perhaps my best friend, he's like a brother to me. It had been a couple months since, and during one night I got this *feeling* it's hard to explain...call it woman's intuition perhaps but nevertheless something inside was telling me that I had to go see Locke, and I needed to do it now. I knew he was residing in Kohlingen at the time and went down to the engine room, and without really thinking much I pulled the lever to start the submergence process, jarring everyone from their sleep in the process. Sabin came rushing down to the engine room first, and seemed relieved to find me

"oh!, it's just you" he said, relieved "I thought there was some kind of malfunction..."

"What’s going on down there?!" He was interrupted by the engineer

"It's alright, Celes is just taking the Castle underground to Kohlingen to see Locke" Sabin said as if it was accepted fact that, that was the only possible explanation, he knows me all to well.

"Hrrrmph!" grumbled the Engineer "damned women...waking everyone up...*grumble*" he mumbled as he staggered off back to bed.

"So?, You finally gonna tell him?" Sabin questioned, he was the only one I had confided in that I had feelings for Locke, well other then Cid.

"I don't know, I just need to see him for some reason...I...can't really explain why"

Sabin smiled "I getcha'" he said then proceeded back up the stairs and began to inform everyone that there’s no engine malfunction, and to get back to bed.

The transportation didn’t take long, I mounted a chocobo from the stables and headed out to Kohlingen, it was late and everyone was asleep except a few night crawler types. I proceeded to Locke's house and knocked on the door, it was unlocked and came open so I walked in. "Locke?", "Locke?" I was calling but got no response, I glanced into the living room and there I saw why. Locke was sitting on the ground in front of his couch slumped over with several empty cases of beer and a couple empty liquor bottles, he was definitely inebriated, and since he was so small he may have even killed himself by drinking so much. "Oh God!" I cried as I ran as fast I could to him, I started slapping him across the face to wake him up "Locke!, Locke!, LOCKE!, Talk to me!, Can you see?", Locke opened up his mouth and proceeded to puke all over my blouse. "...Well, at least now I know you're alive" I sighed, "alright, lets get you up and in bed" I grabbed him under the shoulders and slung him up over me, luckily Locke is such a small guy and I'm not exactly a little mouse so moving him around was pretty easy.

I laid Locke down in his bed so he could sleep this binge off, being raised by Cid I knew a few things about medicine and Locke didn’t show any of the signs of alcohol poisoning so I wasn't worried about it. Even still, I decided to sit at his bedside in case something changed or something happened to him or any other variety of random happen chances that worried me.

I wondered why he'd binge drink all of a sudden like this, damn it!, It was stupid of me not to go with him to Kohlingen after the final battle, I know he didn’t ask...but I should of insisted, Locke needs someone to look after him. I went to change out of my vomit encrusted clothes into something else, luckily Locke and me were roughly the same size and he insisted on wearing clothes that were too small for him anyway. I squeezed into one of his pairs of jeans and shirts, they were tight around my hips and bust but at least they weren't covered in vomit. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity when a few hours after the sun had raised I heard "urrk...my head..." I turned around and Locke had awaken. I got up out of my chair and walked over to his bed.

"Oh...hey Celes...when did you get here?" I slapped Locke across the face, *hard* "Owe!...what was that for?" Locke groggily asked,

my eyes were burning with anger and my fists were clenched "What the HELL were you thinking?!, Drinking that much at your weight!, you're 145lbs!, you could of KILLED YOURSELF!" I was shouting,

"I got depressed..." Locke began "I started thinking about Rachel again, and her last words...but...I don't think I can be happy without her...so I went to drink until I didnt feel anymore. First, I drank all the beer I had in my cellar but I still felt lonely, so I broke out the hard liquor and just started drinking it straight from the bottles, I drank a whole thing of whiskey and I couldn't even see straight, but I still felt lonely so I started on another bottle, and then I think I passed out half-way through it".

I sighed "You are sooo DAMN lucky to be alive!" I scolded,

"...I feel like death" Locke spoke up,

"you're gonna feel that way for awhile, your body needs to flush out all that alcohol, not to mention you're going to be urinating like hell" I lectured,

"I think I pissed myself in my sleep actually" Locke stated,

"...that's lovely" I replied with a disgusted scowl.

Locke sat up "Oh god...I think I'm gonna..." Locke bent over the side of his bed and hurled all over the floor, luckily this time he missed me,

"*sigh* I'll go get you a bucket or something..." I said as I got up to find a container for Locke's vomit. I retrieved a pot from the kitchen and laid it next to the bed,

"thanks" said Locke right before he vomited again into the pot,

"don't mention it...someone's gotta protect your poor rug" I joked and made Locke crack a grin. After a couple hours and a couple dozen vomiting sessions Locke seemed to be feeling better, then he noticed I was wearing his clothes,

"hahaha, holy crap how are you fitting into that shirt?" Locke joked groggily,

"uncomfortably" I replied dryly,

"why are you wearing my clothes anyway?" Locke asked,

"because you puked all over mine!" I replied triggering more laughter from Locke.

"Alright, I'm gonna try to get up" Locke said as he planted one foot on the ground and the other in the puke pot, causing me to laugh hysterically. "Ewe!, arrghh...goddamnit!, I'ts not funny!" Locke yelled as he kicked his vomit soaked shoe off into the corner. "Ughhk!, I *did* piss all over myself!" Locke exclaimed as he looked down at the huge wet spot on his pants, "I'm gonna go take a shower, ummm, feel free to help yourself to anything you like" Locke said as he walked bow-legged over to his bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I sat up and looked around, this place was a pig pen, "well...someone has to clean this up" I thought to myself, "it's not like Locke is ever going to" I continued thinking to myself. The first order of business for me was to scrub up all this crap in Locke's bedroom, there was vomit all over the place from Locke kicking the bucket over, not to mention he excreted urine all over his bed. I went about cleaning the place up, dumping the bucket out then I went about searching for a rag I could wet in order to scrub some of that crap out of Locke's rug when all of a sudden I heard weeping come from the bathroom.

Overcome with feelings of concern I abandoned protocol and courtesy, and entered the bathroom, and there I saw Locke, disrobed, sitting in the corner of his shower stall, huddled over and gripping his knees weeping while muttering incoherencies, this was a site many people would consider pathetic, even disgusting...but not me. What I saw, was an otherwise strong man on the brink of insanity, a man with a wound that just would not go away, a would that perhaps only 'I' could heal...if it was fate that lead him to me when I was imprisoned then it was indeed now fate which had lead me to him on this night upon which he needed me the most. Summoning all the courage and calmness I could muster I slowly walked over to his stall, stepped inside, and sat beside him. I hugged tightly onto his quivering nude form, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and letting the side of his head rest on my bosom as he continued to tremble and weep. This was it not only did I want Locke, but Locke *needed* me, there was absolutely no way I was going to part ways with him again.

I gently rubbed the back of his head whispering sweet soothe sayings into his ear until his trembling stopped, then, I gripped the sides of his face gently with my hands and kissed him on the lips. At first Locke didn't kiss back, but I was persistent and continued kissing him, rubbing my hands across his face and through his locks of grey hair when suddenly it was as if I had sucked the grief right out of him and he kissed back, as we embraced and pulled each other closer pressing our bodies together a..."Celes wake up!",

"Geh?!"

"You were snoring so loud it's a wonder the roof didn’t cave in!" Setzer joked as he jarred me from my sleep, and I sat up and realized I had passed out in my seat. I looked around, Terra and Locke were still chatting away and Gau had taken a seat next to Relm. Sabin was looking back at me and laughing while Edgar chuckled, even Cyan was smiling.

"Ughk, I was just meaning to rest my eyes" I grumbled in response to the group chiding as I shook the cobwebs from my groggy head, "and you could of been a bit gentler about waking me up Setzer!" I complained.

"Hey, I had to!" he replied from his seat behind "the ceremony's about to start, and you were snoring loud enough to wake the dead, all the townspeople were looking right at us" Setzer justified. I snapped back to the reality of being at a funeral, and sat up straight in anticipation of the ceremony to honor Strago's memory.


Chapter 3: A premonition of horror

"Truly, art the ninja and I so different?" I thought to mineself as't I re entered the chapel and retook mine seat beside Lord Edgar. The ceremony for Sir Strago was't to begin shortly but mine mind was't adrift on matters unrelated in nature, particularly on the matter of't Sir Shadow. I will admit that in times past I bore no liking for the Ninja, he struck mineself as't honorless and without conscience. I suppose upon reflection I had nary a right to judge, afterall I has't mine own tale gloom and tragic, of descent into darkness and hatred grown. For a time I was't nothing more then a slave to revenge, then'st a slave to self-hate so intense that'st drew the demon Wrexsoul, yet through it all I found the strength to rise above. The same can nay be said of't Sir Shadow but I am two decades or so his elder, however, it does't anger me some that he squanders what he still yet has't, for his daughter still lives, yet, I suppose he has his reasons.

Over to mine left I espied Sir Gau and Lady Relm sharing one another's company, and if my aging eyes nay deceive me then methinks I espied Lady Relm smiling, something she has't yet to do up until the moment, t'is heartwarming. On that note I must say I am impressed with Sir Gau's newfound maturity, may haps formal attire would'st be appropriate but progress is't progress nonetheless. Suddenly the Village Elder ascended the pulpit to begin the ceremony, and although honor would dictate my full attention I was somehow distracted.

What deeds I had'st done to hear their dreadful cries of death, with every Imperial head I took mine hate only grew leaving only one thing in my black bottomless pit of a soul...a desire for revenge. I sworeth upon the grave of't mine departed that until I found revenge I would'st feed mine sword in Imperial blood. T'is funny how'st I once thought that revenge would bring me consolation for all it brought me was't more hate which subsequently, and ironically, turned inward once their was't nowhere else at whom to point it...except mine self. This is where'st I see Sir Shadow for he is't the same sad and bitter man as't was't I, I will'st admit tha'st the pain of't Sir Shadow is't of't a different nature then the pain I had'st faced. Sir Shadow has't done truly terrible things, while it is't true I slew countless Imperials in mine quest of't revenge I nay once slit a throat in cold blood or robbed anyone of't their possessions. I suppose I have done all'st I can for Sir Shadow's truly troubled soul.

The Lady widowed of't Maranda still yet mourns her departed husband, I know this as't we have maintained contact through carrier pigeons, she recently asked of me to see her, and I have yet to write back as't I have not yet decided upon the nature of my reply. I must clear mine head, tis improper to pay any but mine full attention to the ceremony and I has't already drifted far to much in my thoughts then is prudent.

...

"NO!, NO THIS CANNOT BE, I AM A GOD!, I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!" my mind screamed out as that insolent peon of a ninja landed the killing blow. My limbs and wings fell limp, and I was falling, plummeting through my tower as it crumbled around me. It was as if I was falling backwards and gazing upwards into my new world order, my accomplishments, my ascent into godhood crumbling around and on top of me as I continued falling through this meshing hell of crumbling debris. I was aware of nothing but my fall, and the crumbling, the infernal crumbling of everything around me, everything I had built all falling down with me down, down towards the ground on a dogged one track decent towards a sudden stop. As if on queue with my thoughts my descent was suddenly stopped by a hard unforgiving pile of debris of brick and steel all un naturally meshed together by my will, ironic that this would be my grave. I crashed backwards ripping my back out and shattering bone, then piles upon piles of debris crashed down onto me, blood backed up my throat and spewed out my mouth and nose as my lungs were crushed, and then my world faded to black.

Then, I heard the voices...but these weren't the normal voices I heard all the time, no...these were different, infernal, demonic, unintelligible whispering then a shrill piercing scream of unfathomable pitch and pure evil...it was as if I was in heaven. Suddenly I felt my form, *or my presence rather as all sense of form, self or un-self had faded away when my world turned black* violently seized and taken...somewhere. It is difficult to describe the sensation as it was not as if I was being taken down or up, left or right but...somewhere else I think is the closest I can come to describe it, it was as if I was not taken to a specific location in the traditional sense but rather "through" existence itself, truly a strange feeling I must say. After some period of time during this strange transition I suddenly had form again, but it was my old form, my old flawed and weak body of subtle human flesh and weakling bones. I would of shouted into the nothingness surrounding me to voice my displeasure with this but I couldn't move. I was floating through what seemed like ceaseless nether, if that makes any sense, there was blackness all around and I could see amorphous shadowy *things* weaving and flowing in jerked macabre motions through the darkness. These same shadow-things *which I will call them from this point on* seemed to be the ones carrying me through this endless black nether, or at least I thought it was endless.

I could still hear the same whispering, muttering and occasional high pitched screaming in my head, and it seemed to grow louder the deeper I was taken into this nether realm of sorts. Suddenly I was dropped but I didn't fall, I hung there, suspended in the nether when suddenly a figure emerged from the black...I would have gasped over struck with awe at the magnificence of this being but alas I was paralyzed. It was a huge manlike figure with skin like polished obsidian, and from it's back sprung two wings of fire, and it's face...it's face was entirely blank and featureless with no eyes, ears, mouth, nose, crevices or anything, it was akin to a blank slate of perfectly rounded, oval, stone. 'I' for the first time in my life felt insignificant, before this great monstrosity I was truly a puissant when suddenly I heard a voice in my head, deep, throaty, unmistakably masculine and entirely audible.

"Welcome...Kefka!" the deep and throaty voice resonated throughout the inside of my skull, "you can communicate with me through your thoughts, I have no need of such primitive entrapments as senses or speech" it continued as if reading my confusion, which I supposed it did.

"Why am I here?" I thought, which was met with a low bone rumbling chuckle "a good question" the voice responded,

"you were set on a course for Hades but I had my minions intercept your spiritual essence on it's voyage and bring you to my realm.

"Why?" I continued, not at all satisfied with his answer,

"because, Kefka, you caught my interest, and I may have a use for you, tell me...are you aware of how your world was created?",

"I have a rough idea" I replied "basically these three goddesses showed up, and created man, esper, the world, and magic then they left these statues of themselves here and took off",

"a simple and shortened version, but more or less correct" was the entity's reply. "Now then, you attained your power from those statues, you managed to command and drain them...an impressive feat I must admit, and ever since then you've piqued my interest" it continued,

"that still doesn't tell me where you...or even 'I' fit into this" I asked.

Suddenly I awoke, barely stifling a terrible scream, I was still here, right beside the church, 'what the hell was that?!" I screamed in my head. It was a dream, a terrible, terrible dream in which I was not myself...I was Kefka, but it was deeper then just inhabiting his body. I thought his thoughts, I felt his feelings, I understood his insanity, I felt what it was like to be him, and not in any sort of superficial sense either...I felt his consciousness, I *was* his consciousness, and those things I saw and heard...I could make no sense of them. "Just a dream" I told myself calmly, it had to be...what else could it be?, my body was cold and covered in sweat and I could feel myself trembling. I sat back against the wall, stared up into the sky and repeated in my head over and over "Kefka is dead", "Kefka is dead".

...

'Dear god!, he's droning oooon and oooon and ooooon' I thought to myself as the Elder continued with his booring rhetoric, saying things all of us already know. In front of me Celes and Locke were seated next to each other, Celes clutching his arm lovingly and somewhat possessively, lucky bastard that Locke, Celes' is so goddamned beautiful. Eh, there was no woman for me but Daryl anyway, no other woman on earth can keep me interested like she could, always challenging me and in my face, always looking to take and even bigger and dumber risk then I was, we could go on forever trying to outdo one another. Being an albino never stopped me from enjoying the sun and the breeze, that's why I always wear so many layers of thick clothes, sunburns a bitch when you have no melanin, I learned that the hard way when I was a kid.

Terra really looks lonely over in the 2nd row on the left by herself sitting behind Relm and Gau, I swear, that woman needs to get laid...I'd make a move myself if I wasn't so sure she was a dyke! hahahahahaha, I laugh at my own jokes even in my head. On the note of speculating about people's sexual orientations, I think Sabins gay, I've never seen him with a woman before and if he really is Edgar's opposite then I suppose it'd make sense, with him being such a womanizer and all. I can never talk like this in front of everyone else, they all have such sticks up their behinds except for maybe a couple of them, I mean, they are my friends and I care about them...but I miss having someone like Daryl to be able to talk nonsense like this to without getting the odd stares.

Looking in front of me, I can't help but feel like the traditional masculine/feminine male/female roles in your standard relationship have somehow been reversed with Locke and Celes. Celes definitely seems and acts like the guardian and the provider, and Locke is like...I can't even put my finger on what exactly he is but of course we are talking about the guy who stores corpses in basements. Jeez a therapist would have enough on him to justify an entire case study with whole teams of therapists psycho-analyzing the guy. I mean...just counting off the top of my head we have irrational behavior, necrophillic tendencies, bipolar disorder, emotional insecurity out the wazoo, and just overall psychological instability, and I'm probably still missing something in that mess.

What?, Well it looks like everyone is getting up for some reason, I'll have to ask what's going on as I wasn't really paying attention...



This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 10th September 2006 22:09

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Post #130508
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Posted: 10th September 2006 07:13

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Chapter 4: Emotions run rampant

The actual ceremony was over and an open casket wake was scheduled for tonight and tomorrow morning, with the funeral itself happening later tomorrow night. Most of the others were getting up when suddenly I saw Sabin and realized I *had* to do it.

"Mr. Thou..." I muttered barely able to contain my laughter,

Sabin turned and looked directly at me, I couldn't help but crack a wide grin "Goddamnit!" Sabin replied "it's been however many years and somehow it's *STILL* funny, damn I missed you man!" he continued.

"I missed you too...Mr. Thou pfffthahahahahah!",

"You were on crack back then Gau, hell you still are!",

"I know...Thou PFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was laughing so hard my sides ached, somehow that act of pure random silliness way back then had grown into the single biggest inside joke between the two of us. Relm was still sitting, I guess she just needs more time to deal with Strago's death...I mean who does that leave her with, Shadow?. Now, I'm not taking anything away from him as far as bravery and strength go...but he doesn't seem like much in the way of being of a dad. Then again, my dad was a crazy person who thought I was a demon baby and abandoned me on the Veldt as a newborn, and I turned out alright...somehow, so who am I to judge fatherly qualities?.

My train of thought was quickly interrupted by Sabin. "You may have grown alot Gau, but I can still take you down any day of the week!",

I smiled cause' I knew where this was going "is that a challenge...little man?" I responded with a wise assed smirk,

"Oh!, it's ON now!" Sabin replied, and he lunged at me.

Sabin tried to overbear me like he used to but since I'm pushing 7ft and around 300lbs now, he wasn't able to. I laughed and grabbed Sabin in a bear hug around his waist and fell forward with him to the ground, but Sabin manged to slip out and get onto my back.

Before we could continue wrestling any further, Edgar shouted out "Would you two asshats cut it out?, we're right in the middle of a fricken church!",

Sabin got up off my back "Eh, what's the problem big brother?, we were just goofin!", as I sat up and got to my feet,

"Yeah, but this really isnt the time...we're supposed to be mourning, not to mention you're right in front of Strago's body...it's disrespectful" Edgar retorted,

"indeed" Cyan chipped in "perhaps thou shouldst continue thine contests of brute strength upon a later date?".

"Eh, alright" I replied, disappointed. Suddenly I felt a hand grab at my trouser leg, I looked down and it was Relm

"Gau..." she asked looking up at me somberly "would you stay here with me for awhile?" she asked, and given the circumstances I couldn't say no,

"alright Relm" I replied warmly with a smile and sat back down beside her.

Everyone began exiting the chapel as Relm scooted over closer to me then suddenly began to cry. Acting purely on instinct I reached my arms out to her to which she responded by nearly flinging herself towards me, resting her head on my chest and gripping my shoulders while still in tears. The Chapel was empty except for me, Relm and Strago's corpse...it felt quite eerie. I continued to comfort Relm by hugging onto her, I didn't say anything, there was nothing I could say that wouldn't just be stating the obvious or hasn't been said to her before a hundred times already by now. Relm's crying slowed into a gentle sob and finally subsided, then she looked up at me, not saying anything...just looking. She gazed up at me with this strange expression that seemed to contain a mixture of anxiety, fear and longing...it felt like she was looking through my eyes and into my soul, her lips were trembling. "Relm...what's wrong?" I asked, Relm let out a sigh, closed her eyes and sprang forward off the foot of her toes from the pew and directly onto me, knocking me on my back as she had taken me completely by surprise. Before I had even began to comprehend what exactly it was that was going on Relm was astride my chest gripping my face in her palms and pressing her mouth to mine, kissing me.

I couldn't begin to fully describe what I was feeling right then and there, it was unreal, it was a feeling like I hadn't been alive or had any idea what my purpose was up until that very moment. I kissed back, completely drawn into this single moment in time, I was aware of nothing else, nothing at all. I had no idea what brought this on or lead her to this course of action but at that moment didn’t particularly care, as hormones had more or less taken over entirely by this point. Suddenly Relm spun around so she was facing my legs, and began fiddling with my trousers, and I thought I had a pretty good idea of where things were going from there...

...

I laughed, I had honestly seen this coming a mile away. Everyone else was just sort of standing there and there was a short sort of uncomfortable silence, at least silent other then the extremely loud and obvious noises of Relm and Gau having sex in the back of the Chapel. Slurping and bumping noises could be faintly heard from behind the closed arched doorway, while Gau's loud yelping "YEAOOOOOOOOOUU"s and "UWAIOOOYAYAYAYAOOOOO"s boomed out leaving little to the imagination.

Suddenly Sabin broke the silence "...gee, I hope they're using protection" he said half-seriously in an attempt to lighten the mood, Celes who was standing next to me couldn't help but start to break a wide grin, then all of a sudden began laughing hysterically. I turned to look at my wife who was keeled over laughing like a maniac and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "calm down, it wasn't that funny" Sabin reasoned.

Celes took a few moments to regain her composure before replying "heck yeah it was!", "there we all were just standing around with this uncomfortable silence, all of us knowing what’s happening but none knowing what if anything to say about it and out blurts Sabin 'Gee, I hope they're using protection' pfffftAHAHAHAHAHA!" she continued laughing like a madwoman while Sabin just shrugged his shoulders.

Rachel tugged on my pant leg "daddy, what're Relm and Gau doing?"

I laughed, "ask mommy when we get home" I replied without skipping a beat.

I looked around, everyone had varying facial expression at this turn of events, Cyan was looking towards the ground with an embarrassed expression, Celes was 'still' laughing, Edgar looked kinda sad for some reason and so did Terra for that matter, Sabin was still perplexed as to what about what he said was so funny...and frankly so was I. The only person who didn’t seem to show any emotion at this turn of events was Shadow *who had just returned from around the side of the church where he was doing god knows what*, and this didn’t surprise me at all as he is an asshole.

I don't care what Sabin, Terra or anyone else has to say about the guy I know his kind, he is an asshole, he is everything I hate. He ditches his responsibilities, doesn't give a damn about anyone, does whatever the hell he wants, I don't even know why he bothered to show up today, well, I suppose he is showing some sort of appreciation for everything Strago did for him by showing up. People tell me that I'm really judgmental of Shadow and I suppose that’s true, but, it's hard for me to like someone who's done so many bad things...at least Cid is trying to make up for all the crap he did. I do respect the instrumental role he played in saving the world, and I 'definitely' respect him as a warrior...but as a person I do not like him and don't think I ever will.

I know I promised Celes I wasn't gonna say anything to him, but I felt like I had to so I looked over and shouted out "Hey Shadow!, don't you even give a damn that that’s your own daughter gettin' it on with Gau in there?, Don't you have anything to say or any reaction at all?, Do you even care about her at all?".

Shadow looked back at me and shrugged, "wasn't it you who said she "had no family"?" Shadow replied in that cold, raspy chilly voice of his.

I wasn’t about to let him have the last word, so I pressed onward "well with the way you're behaving I think you can certainly see the rationale behind my statement!" I shouted back, everyone was staring at me but I didn’t care, I had to let him know what I thought.

"It's better then preserving the corpses of girlfriends who died as a result of my actions in some nutjob's basement" Shadow replied dryly.

I snapped and lunged at him but Cyan and Sabin held me back, I expected Celes to yell at me for breaking my promise but apparently the same comment that struck a nerve with me had struck one with her too, that damn mother hen syndrome she has about my past I suppose.

Celes was in Shadow's face "You're a real piece of work Clyde, YA KNOW THAT?!" she shouted incensed, Shadow stared back blankly not even blinking as Celes continued ranting "How *DARE* you make light of my husband's personal tragedies!, if you had HALF the balls he did you'd...YOU'D OF OWNED UP AND BEEN A FATHER SEVEN YEARS AGO!" Celes shouted, nearly screaming.

Shadow continued his blank stare "are you done?" he replied as per his usual cold manner "Locke really was right about you...you're a pathetic coward!",

"and your husband stores dead girlfriends in basements"

*POW*

Celes struck Shadow closed fisted directly on his right temple knocking him back. Shadow leapt to his feet and grabbed Celes by the throat, the 'instant' his hand made contact with her Sabin lunged and nailed him square in the face with an openhanded palm thrust, hard, and I mean 'HARD' Shadow must've flown back like six or seven feet before Sabin grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him up against the side of the church.

Sabin looked pissed, and was staring directly at Shadow "You listen to me and you listen good 'Clyde' if you ever...EVER put your hands on Celes again I'll straight up *KILL* you...UNDERSTAND?!" Shadow was bleeding from the nose and started laughing.

Sabin dropped him on his ass, and he kept laughing as he got to his feet "yeah I understand" he replied still cold, he dusted himself off and walked off "I'm going down the pub" he said as he walked off in that direction.

I ran up to Celes with Rachel right behind me "are you okay dear?" I asked,

Rachel clung to Celes "mommy, mommy are you hurt mommy?" she cried.

Celes stood back up 'she had fallen when Sabin nailed Shadow' "I'm fine" she said.

"What in the hell got into him?!" Sabin thought out loud,

"maybe he's mad because his daughters found a new 'daddy'" Setzer chipped in with a laugh.

"Sir Gabbiani, is't such crassness truly called for?, Tis improper to speak aloud of such matters" Cyan lectured,

"lighten up!, geez you're livin' in the past!" Cyan rolled his eyes as Setzer let out another laugh.

"There might be something to that actually Setzer" Cid theorized, "this Shadow seems quite the strange fellow, underneath all that meanness and coldness I'd wager he's a chaotic mess of everything...he might actually have been quite angry or even hurt but it took Locke reaching out in a sense to trigger it",

"you're reading too much into him Cid, he's just an asshole, I know his type" I voiced my two cents.

Cid continued "well, in any event I think our two...'young lovers' as it were have stopped...engaging?, shall we put it?, shall we send someone to retrieve them?",

"they'll come out when they're good and ready Cid, I'll wait for them" Terra spoke up, "you all can go and do whatever" she continued.

"Weeelll, I'm going to go 'down the pub' as Shadow put it so eloquently" said Setzer,

"hey!" I spoke up "caaaan, I borrow the airship?" I asked, Setzer rolled his eyes "to go exploring, come on you 'know' how much I love to travel places" I whined.

"Fine, fine" Setzer tossed the keys to me, "just bring 'er back in one piece...and no hanky-panky you two!, you know what I mean" he concluded as he went down to the pub.

"I think I'll go have a drink as well, this 'Shadow' is quite an interesting man, I can't help but psycho-analyze him" Cid said,

"no he *isnt* Cid you're reading way to much into him, anyway Terra can you look after Rachel for us?, an airship isn't safe for a three year old",

"noooo, I want to go toooooooooo" Rachel complained,

"no it's much to dangerous!" I stated firmly in that tone that let Rachel know there was no shifting me on this "hmph, fine!...aunt Terras more fun anyway!, Nyah!" Rachel pouted and Terra laughed,

"don't worry, I'll look after her" she said.

I ran towards Setzer's airship practically dragging Celes behind me, I couldn't wait to fly that baby all over...


...

It was over but I still didnt want to let go, I hugged onto Gau tightly still laying on top of him I hadn't even bothered to put my clothes back on yet. Haha, poor Gau I still don't think he had fully processed everything that happened so I thought I'd spell it out for him "I guess what I was trying to say was, I love you" and I kissed him on the lips.

Gau still had the same expression of mixed shock and euphoria he had when we started, his mouth was gaping in this weird sort of smile and his eyes were fixed on me, finally he spoke "was I just raped?" he asked jokingly causing me to laugh.

"Caaaan, I take that as an 'I love you too'?" I asked,

"Well, having never 'been' in love before and having absolutely no past experience or references to go by, I'd have to saaay.....yes, definitely" he laughed, and I laughed with him.

I got up off Gau and started wiggling back into my clothes, I could sense Gau staring at my rear-end "you've certainly got a womanly physique" Gau stated,

"Oh gee thanks, that's just a nice way of saying my butts big" I teased as I wiggled back into my back into my black undergarments and britches then secured my dress around my waste as Gau simply leapt to his feet and pulled up his loose tartan trousers as I snapped my bra and top back on.

"Well, what do we tell everyone else?" Gau inquired,

"Gau, I think they heard us" I replied,

"oh yeah, I was working up quite a scream wasn't I?" I giggled,

"yeah you kind of where...I take it as a complement" Gau laughed,

"hold my hand on the way out?...love?" I asked with a sweet smile,

Gau smiled tenderly and took my hand "I can certainly get used to this!" he exclaimed, again he made me laugh,

"me too...me too" I responded.

We walked together, hand in hand through the back door and back around the church, I was surprised to see everyone had left except Terra and Rachel,

"hey you two!" Terra shouted as she waved us over, smiling. Terra walked up to us with Rachel in tow, she looked us over and smirked"well, everyone certainly heard what you two were up to" she began before she was interrupted by Rachel,

"and they 'STILL' won't tell me what it was!",

Terra laughed "you'll find out when your older" I said,

"hrmph" Rachel grunted "I want to know NOW!" she pouted.

Terra smiled and walked up to Gau, she threw her arms around him and gave him a hug "Gau, you've been the closest thing I've had to a son, I think I'm always going to remember you as the curious sticky-fingered wildboy always eager to learn...now, you're a full grown twenty one year old man".

Terra started sniffling a little bit, Gau put his arm on her shoulder and looked down into her eyes "you taught me everything I needed to know, you took me in as your own and taught me to read and write and talk...for all extensive purposes you were and still are my mom, and, I love you ma'" Gau said as he hugged Terra,

"I love you too...son" Terra replied, still tearing at the eyes.

After a few minutes Terra regained her composure and walked over to me "Relm...he's all yours now, take good care of him",

"you don't have to worry about 'that' Terra" I replied with a smirk. Honestly I thought Terra was overreacting a bit, Gau isn't even her son! and it wasn't like any roles were changing, and she had to know he wouldn't be a 'boy' forever...but...I guess it's better then not caring at all like Clyde, and he actually is a biological 'parent' in the loosest possible usage of the word.

"Where is everyone else, anyway?" I asked,

"Well, Celes and Locke borrowed the airship and are probably gonna be gone for a bit, Cyan and Sabin went off into the woods somewhere to train and everyone else is at the pub...and there was a bit of an 'incident' Sabin knocked your dad on his ass and bloodied his nose up".

Gau made a shocked expression as I laughed out loud "hahahaha!, What the hell did he do?",

"well...Locke ran his mouth a bit about Clyde being a jerk by not showing any interest in you, then Clyde brought up Locke's ex lover...and well Locke snapped and Sabin and Cyan had to hold him back, then Celes got in Clyde's face and started shouting at him and Clyde said something snippy and mean that I didn’t quite make out and then well...Celes popped him".

I laughed, I was finding this entire story to be quite amusing "hahaha, I swear Celes is like Locke's mother, but go on, get to when Sabin clocks my dad".

Terra continued "well, Clyde reacted be grabbing Celes' neck, but I'm sure it was completely on instinct since his reflexes are like lightning, then Sabin lunged at him hitting him in the face with an open palm and sent Clyde flying backwards five or six feet, then he grabbed him and threw him up against the side of the church and threatened to kill him if he ever touched Celes again, then Shadow walked off to the pub".

Terra finished and I started laughing again "hahaha, thats quite amusing...especially seeing as how it's like everyone else and their mother has to take care of Locke and suffer the consequences of his mistakes for him" I replied.

"I feel bad for him, Shadow I mean, not Locke" Gau spoke up. "It sounds like Shadow was really pushed and Locke didn't have to run his mouth, It's not like Locke has any right to be judgemental of the guy, he doesn't know what's going on in his head or what he's been dealing with his whole life, actually I'd think Locke would be more understanding, but he's not exactly the most mature guy in the world". Gau continued "and Celes really had no right to get in Shadow's face the way she did, Locke's not a little kid and she's not his mother she's his wife, and I don't entirely blame Shadow for how he reacted when Celes hit him, that would hurt, Celes is a statuesque Valkyrie with muscles of solid steel, she'd knock most guys right out".

Gau kept talking, he seemed quite opinionated on all this "Sabin didn't have to freak out like he did either, I know he sees Celes almost like a little sister but it's not like Celes couldn't of gotten away from Shadow if she really wanted to, he didn't have to lunge at him and threaten him, if anyone 'should' have, it would be Locke, but I'm surprised he can tie his own shoes in the morning without Celes' direction".

I shrugged, "dad really brings it on himself though, he didn’t have to mess with Locke's and Celes' heads the way he did" I reasoned,

"well in any event, I'm going to take Rachel on a walk through the woods" Terra stated,

"yeah!, I want to see what Sabin n' Cyan are doin'!" Rachel added as she practically dragged Terra away.

"Strago left the old house to me, come follow me...stay here with me awhile", Gau smiled, nodded and followed as I lead him to the house...

Chapter 5: At the pub

"Wow, I didn’t think Celes would haul off and just punch Shadow in the face like that!, that was hilarious" Setzer exclaimed as if he was oblivious to Shadow's presence in the room as he downed another pint.

"Celes is very, very, VERY defensive about Locke's past tradgedies, especially so when it comes to insinuation about his psychological wellbeing...and given Locke's past and his tendency towards irrational and unhealthy behavior, I can understand why she is so ready to defend him from anything she feels may upset him" I explained.

"Yeah, you got a point there" Setzer replied, "this one time I made an offhand comment about Locke 'not needing corpses anymore', I thought it would be funny but Celes drew her blade and held it at my throat with this look of absolute rage in her eyes and Locke had to tell her it was alright before she'd put it back, I seriously thought she was gonna kill me" Setzer laughed "I guess we know who wears the pants in 'that' relationship" he concluded, and I couldn't help but chuckle at the brutal honesty of that statement.

"I will say, Celes definitely has developed a certain kind of mother hen syndrome about Locke...I suppose it's better then it was, but that’s come along with Locke's improvements in his psychological health", I heard a deep throaty laugh come from behind me, it was Shadow sitting alone in the corner with a couple empty shot glasses in front of him.

I turned around "is something funny?",

Shadow took a shot from his last glass of vodka "just the inclusion of 'improved psychological health' and 'Locke' in the same sentence, old man" he spoke slowly and coldly.

This man fascinated me, so dark and disturbed...I couldn't help but speculate in my mind as to his psychological makeup, what could make such a man tick?, Is he a product of the world around or of himself?...psycho-analysis has always been an interest of mine.

"How do you mean?" I asked, not so much interested in his explanation as I was the nature of his reply and what it may tell me about the inner workings of his mind.

"The idea that Locke has grown psychologically whatsoever, is funny" Shadow explained,

"How so?" I followed up,

"because in actuality he hasn't grown at all, he just seems more together because he has Celes practically wiping his ass for him" Shadow replied without skipping a beat.

A textbook pessimist, the glass is always half empty with this one, and the fact that both Locke and Celes are happy with one another and their roles is most likely irrelevant as far as he's concerned, sociopathic tendencies are also a strong possibility.

I smiled "well, I can't argue that there is perhaps some psychological issues still rattling around in Locke's head but does it not stand as a testament that they are both happy?, do our judgments and pre-conceived notions of what a quote unquote 'healthy' relationship should be hold any merit when both parties are happy, functional, and bring joy to one another?" I reasoned, most likely in vain.

"Happiness, doesn't enter into the argument old man, it doesn't change the reality that Celes is Locke's segregate-mother and Locke is a pubescent twelve year old trapped in a 32 year old man's body, and a nutcase on top of that" Shadow replied.

Setzer got up and went over to bother Edgar who was in the process of wooing yet another unfortunate young lady, methinks my engagement with Shadow has grown to deep for his liking.

"That is merely your perception Shadow, I doubt they see it that way, and I doubt they would be as happy with one another as they are if they did" I stated and I felt his anger rise, it's common for sociopaths to become incensed at the notion that their views are just another perception, and in no way a final authority.

This old fool thinks he has me allll figured out, but I know what he's doing. This idiot thinks he can slap a psycho-semantic label on me and read my every thought, I think I'm gonna fuck with his head some, turn his shit around on him, it'll be funny, *I get like this after I've had a few and I've already gone a tad over my limit, but I needed to relax, needed to forget that horrific dream*.

I smiled a smug half-smile, "tell me Cid, how do you measure up to your own standards?" I asked. Cid looked puzzled, he was obviously not expecting a question on my part deviating this far from the conversation at hand,

"whatever do you mean?, What *standards*?" he asked, with a demanding hint to his tone.

"Are *you* happy?" I repeated "you seem to judge one's psychological wellbeing on their happiness and level of functioning, so I'm curious to know how you measure up on your own scale" I elaborated and Cid seemed to take a minute to formulate a response.

"I never said that one's happiness was the determining factor in one's psychological health, merely the determining factor in a healthy relationship" Cid stated self-assuredly,

"Well you seem to put a lot of merit on one's happiness and personal satisfaction, so, it would stand to reason that it filters into your 'cocktail' as it were, of emotional variables that determine whether or not one is sane or not" I elaborated calmly, with a hint of smugness.

"Well yes, it definitely does filter in to one's psychological health, I mean one wouldn't expect someone to function well in life if they're miserable, ergo: Locke" Cid replied staying right on the ball.

"Well then" I began, "with that in mind I refer you to my previous question, are you happy?" I asked,

Cid shrugged "happy enough" he replied.

"Enough?" I inquired,

"I find I am happiest when accomplishing something, and to be honest the lack of progress I face in my war of sorts on 'cancer' as it has come to be known, troubles me"

"so then?" I asked, "where you happy while working for the empire?".

Cid seemed hesitant to reply, "a simple yes or no question Cid, ethical implications and hindsight aside were you happy?",

Cid paused before replying "I can't answer that with a simple yes or no I'm afraid, it's far to complicated and involves far to much emotional and mental give and take to simply label as 'happy' or 'unhappy' overall",

"fair enough" I replied "then allow me to rephrase the question...". I began again "Were you, and are you now happy with the things you 'accomplished' as top imperial scientist?",

"At the time I was far more pleased with myself then I am now, and in hindsight now I'm not proud of much I did, and I fail to see how listing a 'proudest accomplishment' is relevant to anything" Cid replied.

"So I gather you're not as 'happy' about your accomplishments as previously implied" I reasoned, my smug self-satisfaction at poking holes in his logic growing.

"I never said I was happy with what I had done, Shadow" Cid replied, growing a tad irritable,

"So in essence, what you are telling me is you are happiest while 'accomplishing' but yet there is not one accomplishment which you are owed that you are proud of?" I asked with mock confusion,

"No!" Cid snapped, now angry "you have not given me the chance to explain myself fully, your assumption is only half accurate" Cid explained with visible agitation, I was getting to him,

"well then, please do explain yourself" I replied with a smug half grin.

This is crazy how *DARE* this man see fit to sit here and judge me! a common thief and murderer, not to mention a deadbeat dad.

"I 'said' I am happiest while accomplishing ergo: when there is a task at hand that needs to be accomplished, yes?" I went over what had been said previously so perhaps his pea sized brain would be able to get it's facts straight.

"Correct" he replied,

"good!, then I can continue without fear of you misconstruing of the facts" I snipped "now then" I began "while working for the empire there where no shortage of tasks that required my scientific knowledge such as designing the plethora of machinery both military and civilian that was needed to keep Vector up and running and the Imperial military machine going, and I enjoyed my work" I concluded. I sensed Shadow about to speak but I cut him off, "before you make any judgements or jump to yet more conclusions, it's the work *ITSELF* I enjoyed, if not the end results".

"Now then" I continued, "there was of course work I did not particularly enjoy such as experimenting on living beings, but at the time I was convinced it was necessary for the greater good, I obviously know now I was deceived". "Now Shadow" I began again, "do you still presume to question me?, To pry into me?, To cast me as some sort of villain, and profess to be better then me behind your snide comments and obnoxious smug smile?" I stated with my voice slightly raised, as I had lost my temper by a tad.

'This is excellent' I thought to myself, I had completely turned this around on him. This old fool doesn't realize it but at the beginning he was attempting to pry into me, to analyze me and now I had turned it completely around, now I was the questioner and he was the questioned, and all it took was some clever wording and knowledge of his past and his weaknesses now it was time to rip his scars open for all to see.

I began calmly "tell me Cid, what of Maduin?" Cid froze, he was not unlike a child who had been confronted with a secret they were keeping, or had been caught in a lie,

"...what do you mean?" Cid replied with a hint of seething anger...and fear.

"Well, you were working with the captured Espers since the beginning and as we all know Maduin was Terra's father, what was he like?, How much did he know?, Did he ever plead with you to know the fate of his daughter?, Did he not constantly ask to know if she was alright?, What were his words spoken between your experiments?".

Shadow's words were dredging up old memories and pains long hidden, I tried hard to conceal them "Maduin spoke of little else other then the fate of Terra, all I ever told him was that she was safe but inevitably he overheard plans involving the Slave Crown project, and from then on he seldom spoke other then to curse my name and proclaim oaths to hunt me in the next life and so forth...his pain and feelings of failure were intense beyond any I have ever seen before...IS THAT THE ANSWER YOU WERE LOOKING FOR SHADOW?!" I didn’t do quite as good a job as I would of liked concealing my emotions.

Shadow broke out into another of those sly half-grins and raised his eyebrows "no need to shout Cid" he stated calmly and with mock concern, "I also understand your experiments weren't limited to Espers, tell me, how many 'test subjects' lost their lives before you had perfected your methods of magical infusion?, you know, the same process you used to create people...people like Kefka!" his words cut like a winter chill and I felt myself on the verge of an emotional outpour.

I could sense I had struck a nerve, and continued my verbal assault in a similar vein *I really am a bastard when drunk* "Orphaned children were certainly a good source of bodies weren't they Cid?, tell me, does this sound familiar" *I mimicked the voice of a child to the best of my ability* "are you going to make me better doctor?" I could sense his emotional agitation, "what's that thing?, will it hurt?, What are you doing to me?!",

"YOU JUST SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH!" Cid screamed, then lowered his head as if in shame.

"I may be a lot of things Cid, but I never used orphans for experiments or devised a way to control young women with headware, whenever I feel bad about myself I can always look to you and start to feel better, because you're an even bigger scumbag then *ME* Cid!",

"ENOUGH!"

I heard a shout come from the other side of the bar.

I had, had just about enough of this and slammed my drink down on my table...besides, it's difficult to work my magic on the ladies with Setzer making obnoxious comments after my every sentence.

"Leave Cid the hell alone Shadow, you've done enough damage today" I proclaimed as I got up and walked over to his table,

Shadow gave a cock-eye expression "he addressed me first, your *snicker* majesty...if he didn't want me to speak he should of just left well enough alone" Shadow reasoned.

"What the hell is with you today?" Setzer chipped in, "first it was Locke now it's Cid ease up man, you trying to compensate for something?" Setzer questioned,

Shadow laughed a deep throaty laugh "you make it sound as if I've targeted people specifically, both Cid and Locke addressed me first, I can't be held accountable for their reactions to my replies, pfeh!...I never should of even shown my face here, you know what?...Fuck you all, I'm going".

Shadow got up and made for the door, "not soon enough" I proclaimed "I liked you alto more when you didn't say much" I continued,

before exiting Shadow turned and looked directly at me and spoke "I only speak when spoken to, if you don't like what I have to say then you should just keep your fucking mouths shut" then slammed the door closed behind him.

I looked over towards Cid who still looked rather shaken, I walked up over to him and put my arm around his shoulder "you alright?" I asked and Cid took a minute to shake the cobwebs before replying,

"...that man is a genius".

I gave Cid an odd expression, and he continued "don't you see what he just did?, He has bested us all in a game of wits".

I raised an inquisitive eyebrow and Cid sighed. "Allow me to explain" Cid began, "I had it in my mind to question Shadow, to pry into his mind some, to read into his behaviors and theorize as to their reason and origin. I began my dialogue with this in mind and sought to read him as if he was a subject for a psychological analysis, and yet, in a matter of moments I found myself in a situation where I was now the subject and Shadow was the questioner. Through some creative wording and deft emotional manipulation Shadow managed to reverse the roles, quite simply he beat me at my own game, he read me, assessed my weaknesses, and moved right for them all in the span of a couple minutes. That man is a genius, a deeply troubled genius, but a genius none the less" Cid concluded.

"You don't have to be a genius to hurt someone emotionally by bringing things up from the past, Cid" I reasoned,

"you'd be surprised" Cid replied "to be able to quickly and accurately take data then word and manipulate it to successfully manipulate another human being, takes considerable intelligence" he continued and I shrugged.

I looked around, the place was still pretty much empty and the fish weren't biting at all, apparently the 'hey I'm king Edgar, now sleep with me!' and 'hey I saved the world, now sleep with me!' lines don't work well here in Thamasa. Seems like this is going to be a looooong weekend without getting any....

Chapter 6: Here, there and then somewhere else


Gau seemed as smitten with me as I was with him...'looks like my gamble paid off, I've snagged him' I thought to myself as we entered the front door into the kitchen/dining room. As soon as Gau closed the door behind him I turned around, got up on my tippy toes and planted a kiss right on his lips, just to make sure I had his attention then I started "Gau, I want you to know this isnt some random inclination I've developed overnight or anything...I've felt something about you for...well, quite awhile" I began then walked over to sit down at one of the dining room chairs, Gau continued to stand however, his eyes following me. I continued "I guess it started when I first met you eight years ago right before the collapse, you remember don't you?, On the airship?",

"Yeah, back at Thamasa right before we hit the floating island" he replied and I nodded.

I continued "well, I thought you were attractive...like, really attractive, everything about you...you were so strong and ferocious and had this raw animal magnetism and at the same time you were so silly and sweet and childlike, and you had such a pretty face...you still do!" Gau shrugged and looked kinda embarrassed at my complements, this made him seem even cuter from my perspective. I continued "well when I fought side by side with you my attraction only got more intense, but we were both kids back then and I didn’t know what to say! I didn’t tell anyone, not even Strago" I paused to see if he was still listening, he was, intently I might add which was comforting. I continued "well, fast-forward a year after the collapse and everyone was getting back together to kill Kefka...I still felt something for you and it started going beyond just a physical attraction, I felt deeply for you and I was worried and scared for you with every passing day. I was truly relieved when I discovered you were okay...I felt like I was starting to fall in love with you but with the urgency of the world ending and all I didn’t want to say anything".

Gau nodded, "please continue" he replied, that made me smile...it was nice to know *someone* cared.

I continued "Well after we killed Kefka that was when Clyde revealed everything under threats from Strago to reveal it himself...and if you remember right, I had a pretty explosive reaction to it",

"I can't say I blame you" Gau quipped in.

I continued "well, that’s when we all went our seperate ways...and I was deeply upset at the prospect of not seeing you again, and that’s when I knew what I was feeling wasn't about to go away but then Strago got cancer and I had to take care of him" I took a deep breathe, and as if sensing my emotions Gau strided over to me, knelt down and held my hand,

"it's alright Relm" he re assured. I looked into his eyes filled with concern and love, smiled, and continued.

"Well, when Strago died, I made up my mind that I'd well...do what I did when you got here" I finished and looked up at Gau's bright blue kind eyes which seemed to radiate a natural calm that re assured me of my course of action.

Gau began, "well, I'd be lying if I said this is entirely new to me. While it's true I had no idea you had any feelings for me...I sorta felt something for you, but back then I was still just learning how to relate to people and I wasn't even sure what it was I was feeling. When I was with Terra I had my mind occupied with so many other things that I guess I just sorta forgot about it until you well...made your move so to speak. Then I felt something similar to what I felt back then only hundreds of times more powerful" he paused "so I guess what I'm trying to say is that in a round-a-bout way...I was feeling the same thing, or at least something similar" he finished. Hearing him say that made me feel relieved, then it was mutual from the beginning, I threw my arms around him and hugged his massive frame, his size made me feel safe, safe from everything "guess I'm here to stay" Gau wondered aloud as I squeezed him as hard as I could causing Gau to laugh "haha, that tickles!" he exclaimed and picked me up like one would a baby.

Suddenly Gau made a strange expression and sniffed at the air. He put me down then walked over to the window "hey Relm...I think I see your dad coming out of the bar and I was hearing shouting earlier...he looks pretty drunk too, and he doesn't look like he knows where he's going" Gau announced.

"Plffft, so?" I replied and Gau turned towards me with a look of shock,

"he looks like he needs a place to sleep it off..."

"well he's not staying here!" I interrupted his train of thought. "Clyde never cared about me my entire life! why should I give a damn whether he sleeps in a bed or a gutter?" I reasoned bitterly, and Gau shook his head.

"I understand your anger Relm but I'm not going to let him pass out in an alley, and I smell a rainstorm coming".

I sighed "i'll give you the gil to pay for a room at the inn but he's *not* staying here...I don't want to have anything more to do with him then absolutely necessary" I was adamant about that,

"alright that's fair" Gau reasoned and proceeded out the door towards Clyde.

I looked up, I was right it did start to rain 'great' I thought to myself. I made haste towards Shadow and cried out "whoa!, whoa! where you going Shadow?",

"leaving, nobody wants me here" Shadow replied as he walked past without making eye contact, he reeked of vodka.

I tried reasoning "Shadow, you don't know what you're saying...you're drunk and need to sleep it off",

Shadow turned to face me "don't tell me what to do you freak" he spat out "why don't you go back to that house over there and fuck my daughter some more, hell, do it RIGHT HERE in front of me and see if I give a fuck!...she's your fucking problem now! first she was Strago's problem and now she's yours...never my problem, and that's how I aim to keep it!" Shadow ranted.

"Who are you trying to convince of that Shadow, me, or yourself" I replied, and for a moment there seemed to be an emotional crack in this facade of his but it quickly vanished "eh, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you damned...nyughhh....*snore*" taking advantage of his drunken and distracted state I grabbed a hold of a nerve on the back of his neck, a technique I learned from observing monster behavior as a teenager. I slung Shadow up over my back and walked him over to the inn. I slapped the gil for the night down on the table, laid Shadow out on a bed and instructed the innkeeper to let him sleep his drinking off through the night.

I made my way back to Strago's, or rather Relm's house, opened the door and closed it behind me. Before I knew what was happening Relm was on me *again* 'not implying it was bothersome but I was certainly taken aback by how much of a sexual aggressor she was' she backed me up against the door and wrapping her left leg behind my midsection actually climbed up onto me holding my head in her bosom with her legs wrapped around under my armpits and clinging to my back. I maneuvered myself carefully as not to fall and sat down on a chair, and things proceeded largely as one would imagine...

.............

"Excellent parry Sir Sabin!" Cyan exclaimed as I knocked another of his sword strikes aside. I took a swing with my off-hand but Cyan skillfully evaded while keeping my other hand tied up with his sword then stepped back to distance himself while swinging his blade about to deter an advance. Knowing that if I didn't close the distance he would be able to strike with impunity I rushed forward, catching each swing at an off angle to deflect the blows. Midst my deflections Cyan noticed I had turned slightly to parry his last strike leaving my right shoulder exposed, Cyan whirled his blade around and brought it down but I narrowly evaded. I noticed Cyan had overshot the slash slightly leaving his front exposed and quickly stepped forward knocking the blade aside with one hand then tagging him above the left brow with the other, not hard, but with enough force to let him know he was tagged *I have excellent control*.

"Alright, that was a tag!" I proclaimed,

"methinks this bringeths the scores to 6 and 6 Sir Sabin, t'is a tie" Cyan replied.

"Good, well lets leave it at that cause' I'm exhausted, we've been at this for hours!...phew" I plonked myself down on a log,

"indeed, twas a most exhausting match" Cyan agreed as he sat upon the log adjacent to mine. These sparring sessions had sort of become a tradition between the two of us over the past seven years, since there really aren't any monsters for two warriors like us to go out and fight anymore we find this is a good way to keep our skills sharp.

"Your control still amazes me Cyan, never, not once have you ever drawn blood when you tag me" I complemented,

"and nary have you ever left the slightest of't bruises Sir Sabin" Cyan complemented right back, ever since becoming a retainer to Figaro, Cyan has been like a dad to me and I like a son to him.

"YEAH!, THAT WAS SOOOOOO COOL!" I heard a voice coming from the scrubs behind, I turned around and there was Rachel jumping up and down excitedly with Terra seated beside her.

Before I could ask where the hell they came from Rachel ran up to me "uncle Sabin!" she squealed with joy,

"hey little monster!" I replied and picked her up under the armpits and swung her around onto my lap.

She continued excitedly "we were watchin' the whooooole time!, you were like *this* and Cyan was like *this* and you were soooo cool, and, and, and..." I laughed "I want to be a great warrior like you and Cyan when I grow up!" Rachel declared with enthusiasm then jumped down off my knee and proceeded to dart around the camp site while wielding a stick fallen from a nearby tree. Terra watched Rachel frolic with a smile while patiently remaining seated in the grass...it was as if I was totally invisible to her but it is not as if that's any different from how she's always seen me, and It's not like I've given any clue or incentive for her to behave otherwise. Unlike my brother I'm very unsure of myself when it comes to women, indeed, it's lead some to go so far as to assume I'm a homosexual...nothing could be further from the truth, but I suppose I fit the bill in some superficial ways.

It's funny, I still remember the first words she said to me 'on first glance I thought you were some bodybuilder who strayed from his gym' and she said 'bodybuilder' with this tone of near-disdain. Ever since then I've been WAY to chicken to so much as suggest that I find her attractive, besides, it's not like she's into hee-men types as she more or less said so. I've had dozens of suitors and groupies who've been after me for my body my whole life but I've turned them all away, and I suppose that's a large part of why people like to speculate as to my heterosexuality but I have no interest in stupid sluts like my brother seems to. When I was a kid I saw the way Edgar womanized and fucked everyone in the castle, and I made a promise to myself that I'd never be like that...and I've held true to that promise my whole life. It's no one's business but my own, but, I'm still a virgin, and the only people who know are Celes, Cyan and Edgar.

I guess me and Edgar just went in two completely different directions to fill the void when mom died, I always looked inward for the strength to go on and Edgar always turned outwards to the pleasures of the flesh. Even while pondering things over in my head I keep the same smile and pleasant disposition, afterall, I don't want to bring anyone else down or lay my burdens on another. Rachel was still running around giggling and shouting war cries as she battled imaginary foes scattered throughout the campsite, suddenly I sensed a presence standing behind me,

"you didn’t have to hit Clyde in the face like that" I heard Terra's voice scolding from behind.

I looked around and behind and there she was hand on hip "he grabbed Celes by the neck Terra" I reasoned,

"it was a reflex, she punched him in the head, he would of let her go" Terra argued and I shrugged,

"eh, I dunno...I guess I'll apologize to him tomorrow" I conceded,

"I think you should" Terra re-enforced.

Terra had always defended Shadow and his behavior staunchly ever since the final battle and his secrets were revealed. I've always tried to see the good in him myself and I truly doubt he would of actually hurt Celes...so I guess I did act too rashly, but, sometimes it seems to to me like Locke can't protect her the way I feel a husband should, and it's as if I have to make up the difference. Back on the floating island we would of left Shadow for dead if Terra didn't insist we wait for him, even to the point where she refused to board with us should we have left without him. Out of all of us she really believes the most adamantly that he is in reality a good person, and just deeply troubled. Now, I try to see the good in everyone and everything and I don't doubt that Shadow has his redeeming qualities and on some level cares about us and the world...after all...if he didn't he wouldn't of done what he did on the floating continent. But, and there is a *but* I doubt Shadow has the capacity to express his care in any shape other then his actions when things really come down to the wire. His scars are to deep and his psychosis to severe.

Suddenly it began to rain, strange, the storm clouds seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Awwwe!, PHOOEY! I hate the rain!" Rachel complained as Cyan rose from his seat,

"come m'lady, t'would be a shame if thine exquisite dress was't ruined" Cyan reasoned with a warm smile and took her hand to lead her back to Thamasa. Terra followed shortly after Cyan and I after her, staring at her beautiful form in secret and cursing my cowardice as I trailed behind.

...

I was betrayed, laid out and left to die by the forces I had sold out to...and for the first time I truly hated myself. As I was lying there on the corner of the floating continent I saw three figures drop from an overhead ship and I instantly recognized them as the same people I had betrayed, I expected them to kill me outright. They landed and there where three, the Figaro twins and the lovesick half-esper lass from the boat but instead of the cold bite of a blade I felt the healing touch of magic and was greeted by a warm smile. They invited me to once again fight alongside them, and seeing as the alternative consisted of lying in a ditch and dying I took them up on their offer. I traveled with them battling all manners of abhorrent monsters ranging from mighty dragons to huge floating heads with psionic powers, and in truth I didn't know where I was going or who my enemy was anymore or even why I was trying...for the first time in my life I had realized myself for who I was...a disgusting slimeball sack of shit.

I was not worthy of fighting alongside such fine men and women, and especially alongside a young girl so innocent, sweet and beautiful...perhaps I felt I had to protect her, perhaps she reminded me of the daughter I abandoned long ago. I shielded her from harm in our many battles as she slung spells and blade with equal devastating skill, I blinded eyes with thrown shurikens and slit throats with my knives...for that moment in time my life was forfeit, I was worthless, just an empty husk, a shell to be thrown about where needed. The pain was nothing to me, my whole existence was pain and any physical pain inflicted upon me by those beasties paled in comparison to the consuming internal suffering that comprised every waking moment of my existence...they didn't know who they were fucking dealing with, no one did, no one understands, no one would ever understand. As we fought onwards, on and on we finally encountered a beast so terrible I fully expected to die fighting it, it called itself Atma nothing more nothing less.

The Figaro brothers and the girl Terra fought with the ferocity that only one who truly believes in their cause can, and I, I fought with a suicidal tenacity, without fear, without emotion, without any thought to myself or my wellbeing...I simply did not care whether I lived or died. Perhaps it was this insanity which lead me to land the blow which felled the great beast for that is the only thing I've ever been good at my whole life...killing...and sensing my work was done and overcome with sudden shame and guilt I fled their company, choosing instead to observe from a distance, and thank the gods that I did.

I witnessed a terrible act that as fate would have it only 'I' was properly suited to prevent from reaching it's utmost terrible conclusion. The demented clown Kefka trapped the Figaro brothers and the girl Terra in some sort of magical field then turned and slew his master, and through some trick of fate managed to command the Goddess statues to do his bidding. The General Celes appeared I assumed to do his bidding as well but she instead turned and attacked him, he prepared to slay them and I realized that if he was to act then he would destroy the world, he would destroy the innocent Terra, he would destroy Strago...and he would destroy my daughter...I could not allow this. I hurled myself at Kefka, knocking him down before he could act and somehow that act freed them from the force field. Then I leapt to my feet and as quick as I could I maneuvered the statues in such a way as to trap Kefka as the General, the brothers and the girl all fled for their airship as demonic clown like beings assumedly of Kefka's creation chased and engaged them.

I tried to my utmost to pin Kefka down but it was a failed endeavor from the beginning. Kefka threw energy forward knocking the statue from him and crashing into me with such a force that it propelled me backwards and down crashing into the hard, unforgiving and alien surface of the floating continent then bouncing backwards into and contorting in mid-air, I felt bones break and my left leg up to my pelvis became dead weight. I crashed back down into the ground and rolled off to the right tumbling down unforgiving terrain, being tossed like a rag doll by the momentum being built up before I found myself at the eastern edge of the continent, dangling on the edge. By chance the girl Terra was there and having insisted that the others waited for me so were the others, they hoisted me up and she grabbed me, leaping with me to the airship and again healing my wounds. It was all black, I couldn't see anything, I could just feel her holding onto me and trembling, and if I'd of had the strength I'd of been trembling too...and screaming when the bolt hit cracking the ship in too.

We were separated, thrown in opposite directions by the blast and sent plummeting downwards into the black, dank, dark abyss below, it was terrifying, it was the most fear I had ever felt, the worst, I couldn't take it I...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I awoke screaming, to find myself in the Thamasa inn 'Owe, my head' was my first thought upon gathering my senses, I looked out my room window and it was the dead of night and pouring rain, I instinctively scoured the room for Interceptor before realizing that he had been dead for years. I sighed a sigh of mixed relief, grief and loneliness and tried to get back to sleep...


This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 10th September 2006 22:43

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Posted: 10th September 2006 07:16

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Chapter 7: Grey pt. I

I opened my shades expecting to be greeted by the morning sun but was instead treated to the melancholy visage of grey as far as the eye could see. The sky was covered with clouds and the ground was thick with a dreary fog. The ground looked damp, probably from last night's rainstorm. It didn't matter, as no day no matter how dreary could make me sad right now. I looked back over my shoulder, Gau was still out like a light...apparently you *can* force things to progress faster then normal...hooray for hormones!.

....

It was grey out, the greyest day in months...which I suppose was fitting seeing as this late afternoon was Strago's funeral. I slipped out of my PJs to take a shower, got dressed, left my room and proceeded down the stairway to the main lobby of the inn *it had been significantly renovated over the past seven years*. Downstairs Locke was sitting in one of the large lobby chairs with Celes sitting on his lap, it struck me as comical the lack of size differentiation present in those two, of course, we are a rather small group of guys with only Edgar and Sabin breaking 6ft...well except for Gau now who's probably even taller then Umaro now. I suppose I have no right to poke fun at Locke since I'm even smaller then him, but I have an excuse since I'm an albino hemophiliac and we're not known to be large people.

It's funny, you'd think that being frail would lend itself to me being a cautious person and yet it's done the complete opposite, I mean, my whole life as a kid people always told me that it was a 'miracle I was alive' and that stuck with me, but in a different way then intended...I mean, if life, and mine particularly, could end so unexpectedly...then to hell with it!, live it up here and now, and I haven't died yet. This scar on my face tells a helluva story, I almost died because the blood wouldn't clot...but I didn’t, and that in of itself is exactly what I'm talking about, you don't know if you don't try.

Celes has grown, she hit a spurt midway through nineteen so she's actually a tad taller then Locke now, and I'd wager about the same weight if not actually heavier since she put on some weight around he hips and belly since the pregnancy that she still hasn't quite lost...damn she is still so friggen hot though, Locke has no idea how lucky he is, if I'd of had the opportunity I would of done 'everything' to her, violated every imaginable orifice from every imaginable position.

"Hey you two!, Valkyrie and midget" I yelled out to them as I walked over, "keys?" I asked to which I was met with a disappointed sigh "it's not like you'd be doing any flying today anyway, and I'd like to have em" I insisted with my arms crossed,

"yeah, yeah hold on...they're in my pocket somewhere" Locke replied as he fished around for them,

"I don't know where you get off calling Locke a midget, he's bigger then you are" Celes said defensively,

"next to you he does, or rather 'under' you" I replied with a sly grin and Celes blushed with embarrassment.

"Here ya go!" Locke exclaimed and tossed the keys in my direction which I snatched from the air. I couldn't get the disturbing yet equally hilarious vision of Celes laying on top of Locke out of my head, I had too ask, it was too damned funny a question,

"so...who's on top?" Locke and Celes gave me a shocked expression,

"what do you mean?" Locke asked.

"Come on, we're all adults here so tell me...who's on top?" I asked, and Celes blushed with more embarrassment and Locke gave me a funny look, not a dirty look but a look that said 'I wonder where you're going with this'. "Alright, since miss prissypants is too embarrassed to tell us how 'bout you Locke, who's on top?",

Locke laughed and said "Celes, almost always",

"LOCKE!" Celes exclaimed,

"what?, what's the harm at this point?, we've been married for six years" Locke reasoned and Celes "hrrrmphed".

I laughed "do you ever worry about her accidentally crushing you?" I asked while stifling more laughter as Celes grew redder with rising anger and more embarrassment.

Locke continued to laugh "haha, the thoughts actually crossed my mind before...but it'd be a nice enough way to go" Locke replied still laughing, triggering more laughter from me and more reddening from Celes. I was laughing so hard my sides ached, "haha, I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to make fun" Locke reasoned and Celes turned her head away, "awwwe come on...anyway, my legs starting to get pretty numb so could you get up?" suddenly a cruel smile came over Celes' face.

"No, if I'm so darned big I'm going to sit here and squish you" Celes teased playfully with a mean smile,

"okay Celes, it's not funny anymore get off me" Locke grabbed the sides of Celes back and tried to sit up and lift her off but she scooted back, reached behind and pinned his hands to the arm rest by his wrists...this was starting to get hilarious. "Celes, that's enough get off me...I think I feel my thighs and pelvis bending",

"too bad!" Celes teased as she bounced up and down on Locke's lap, swiveling her hips to grind her tailbone into him, at this point I was practically on the floor rolling in laughter,

"owe, owe, owe, owe Celes please get off me, you're hurting me" Locke was crying as Celes proceeded to ground his lower-half into dust,

"ohhh, you big baby!" Celes exclaimed teasingly as she got up off Locke who immediately began rubbing his aching thighs.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh my god, hahahaha...that was so goddamned funny, hahahahaha" I was laughing so hard I was crying,

"don't think I've forgotten about you Setzer" Celes said with that mean smile still on her face 'uh oh' I thought and started running but she was hot on my heels and tackled me to the ground before I could make it to the door.

She overpowered me, and pinned me to the ground sitting on my chest with her knees on my arms "oops I'm sorry, am I crushing you?" Celes teased and bounced up and down on my chest forcing the air rushing out of my lungs. "Celes...get...get off...I can't...breathe" I stammered out between coughs,

she plonked down hard on my chest causing one big cough "take it back" she said with her arms crossed,

"okay, I take it back...I take it all back, you're not that big" I stammered out *still with a smile on my face*.

Celes laughed and got off me and now Locke was the one laughing himself onto the floor. I got up, dusted myself off, hid my erection which luckily no one saw 'and it's *HUGE* hurr hurr', and straightened out my jacket.

Celes turned to Locke and lovingly grabbed the bottom of his chin "remember, I can take you down any time I want" Celes lovingly cooed,

"not like I'd ever complain" he replied slyly and was promptly drawn into a kiss for his trouble.

Feeling myself gradually being overcome by the proverbial 'three eyed green monster known as envy' I decided it would be best for me to retreat to the airship.

....

I watched the spectacle from over at the continental breakfast buffet table, which my brother had more or less cleared entirely. Not sausage nor toast nor egg nor danish was safe from his appetite, but fortunately the rest of us had been content with more modest 'see humane' portions. Cyan, Terra, Shadow and Cid were all still asleep as far as I knew and I assume Gau and Relm are at Strago's old house, either still asleep or eating breakfast I suppose. Thoughts of others and what they're doing tend to consume my thoughts, at least when I'm not scoring tail that is. I see my friends as sort of my extended family, and I suppose my role as a king has shaped me in the sense that I feel as though I have to look out for everyone. My brother practically still is a little kid, hell, he hasn't even had sex yet and he's thirty five years old!...I'd hook him up but I know he'd refuse it, I'd swear he was gay if I didn't know he had a thing for Terra. Sabins definitely an odd one, always has been.

I could never have what Locke and Celes have...I've never been as comfortable with the idea of emotional intimacy as I've been with physical intimacy. I could never allow a single person to consume to majority of my concerns as I have an entire kingdom to worry about not to mention a childlike brother and a whole cabal of companions I need to look after and it would be selfish to allow a single person to supersede them in such a way. People can think of me as a petty pervert or merely uncaring it doesn't matter to me, what matters is that I can maintain a position where I can look after everyone and if I were to grow emotionally attached to a single woman over all others it would compromise that. I said it once and I'll say it again 'Sometimes I hate to be a King' and it's as true now as it was then. I suppose in a less outwardly apparent way I'm just as odd as my brother.

"*BEEEELCH* whoo!, well I'm done here...I'm gonna go hit the can then head out back and train" Sabin announced as he rose from his table and proceeded in the direction of the restroom which will most likely be rendered uninhabitable for the next eight hours.

I slumped back into my booth from which I could survey the main lobby and staircase, and therefore keep a watchful eye on everyone. Locke and Celes were laughing and joking over what had just transpired with Setzer and were getting their things together in preparation to leave, but I figured I'd stick around to get everyone else organized once they've awoken.

....

It was so grey outside, grey as far as I could see...I found it saddening, I always loved to be greeted by the sun in the morning upon opening the blinds. I sighed to myself and slipped out of my nighty to take a quick shower before getting dressed. I was figuring on going to visit Gau and Relm to see how they were doing, and I was hoping to get Clyde to come with me...it makes me sad to see such a void between him and his daughter.

I exited my room and proceeded to his room 'I knew which one it was as I had heard him screaming in his sleep last night' and knocked on the door to which a gruff and mumbled voice replied "...nyugrghh...who is it?",

"it's Terra, can I come in?" I replied in my usual mousey way,

"h...hold on" Clyde replied from behind the door.

I heard no footsteps but nevertheless the door unlocked and I took it upon myself to open the door seeing as it was unlikely Clyde would open it for me. Upon opening the door I saw Clyde shirtless from behind walking back to his bed, a large prominent scar perturbed diagonally starting at the upper left area of his shoulders and ending in a straight line towards the right of his lower back. He is very pale, not albino pale like Setzer but as close as one can be without actually lacking melanin altogether, his hair is the exact same shade of brown as Relm's and reaches down to his shoulders.

Clyde turned around and sat on his bed looking at me with a blank expressionless stare with consistent unblinking eye contact, his eyes are a cold shade of grey almost like stone. Before I could even speak Clyde interrupted me,

"Terra I'm not going with you to see Relm, I have no interest in her and she has nothing but scorn for me" he stated blankly.

I sighed "Clyde...",

"please don't call me that" he interrupted again before rising from his bed to approach me "Terra, I'm not who you think I am" he began "you see things in me that simply are not there",

"that’s not true Clyde!" I raised my voice as my emotions flared.

This time Clyde sighed "why do you want me to go with you?, It will change nothing" he reasoned in his cold straightforward way of thinking, I looked up at him...I couldn't help but slightly tear at the eyes with the emotion I was feeling.

I reached up and grabbed the bottom of his chin to bring his face closer to mine, he didn't so much as flinch "Clyde...I know you're a good man underneath I know you have feelings inside because you showed me, you showed us all and no matter how much of a facade you've put up...you...you've never fooled me" I started tearing a bit more.

Clyde reached down and wiped the tears away from my face "...you have such pretty eyes" he said as he looked down at me before continuing "Terra, I am undeserving of your emotion please don't fret or feel over me as I'm incapable of returning it",

"I don't believe that" I spoke between sniffles and Clyde sighed again,

"please leave me be" and with that he walked back to his bed and laid down, hiding my tears with my arm I ran from his room and closed the door behind me...

....

I laid back down on my bed and stared at the ceiling which seemed to stare back at me, I was still kind of hung over and that coupled with my dream from last night had left me feeling rather drained. I had allowed myself a weak moment once in the past where I had felt emotion for Terra, and just now again I felt something resembling genuine empathy. I honestly did not want to tell her to leave but it was more for her sake then mine...if I were to allow her to grow close to me I'd only end up abandoning and hurting her like I did to Relm...and Baram...and everyone else who's ever made the mistake of relying on me for anything, of course it's not like Relm had a choice in the matter seeing as she never asked to be my daughter. I closed my eyes and tried to return to a state of 'hopefully' dreamless sleep.

...

"Ahh!, that was great!" I declared after finishing the last bite of the breakfast Relm had prepared triggering a giggle and smile.

Relm came over to where I was seated and sat next to me, looking up into my face and suddenly asked a question of me "Gau, you know allot about my past but I honestly don't know much about yours...what happened?" she asked with legitimate curiosity and wonder.

I looked back and replied "well, what do you mean?...you know I was abandoned on the veldt as an infant...",

"see that’s just it!" Relm interrupted "how did you survive as an infant?, something had to of happened, someone had to provide for you as a newborn".

I let out a deep breath "...it's a really weird story" I replied "I honestly never told anyone because I never thought they'd believe me...I didn't even tell Terra and she practically knows everything else there is to know about me",

Relm looked up at me with loving eyes, took my hand and said "baby...you can tell me anything" and even though we'd only been 'close' as it were for two days...I trusted her completely.

"Alright, well...I told you it was strange so don't be surprised if you hear some parts that are impossible for you to believe...even I have trouble believing it" Relm nodded and I began my story...

It was snowing and I was crying and naked in the middle of the wild plains of the veldt. My father in his delirium had left me here but in my infant state I knew nothing, only that it was cold, that it hurt, and I wanted my mommy who I never knew, being practically torn from the womb and left here to die within the span of a couple hours...but then...something amazing happened. I don't know why I remember this in such clarity but I remember it nonetheless.

Through the swirling freezing snow I saw a figure, distinctly feminine...I can only describe her as an angel...an angel in the snow. She drew near then picked me up and drew me up into her warm embrace, her body radiated this natural warm...it was surreal. She held me to her bosom and I instinctively suckled her teat, drawing in warm, sustaining, nourishing milk. Her warm feathery wings wrapped around her form like a cocoon embracing me along with her arms and giving me great warmth. I suckled at her nourishing breast for hours blissfully unaware of much else, I knew she was moving but I don't know where she took me. It gets really hazy after that...but I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in her arms and I vaguely remember spending the rest of my developing years secluded in a cave, being looked after by this angel in the snow.

When I was...I think, no more then either three or perhaps four years old she took me by my hand out of the cave and out onto the veldt...and then...the landscape 'changed'. I really don't know how to describe it, but, picture you're walking down a road and suddenly all your surroundings get fuzzy, then wavy like vapor, then they disappear altogether and you have tunnel vision...all you can see is what you're walking towards up ahead and its 'different' its like you're walking towards another world.

"Now this is where things start to get really strange" I warned and Relm nodded, I continued...

I found myself walking with her through what seemed like a forest, and as you know there are no forests on the veldt...but this forest was different. There were mushrooms as big as I was for example, some of them extraordinarily colored with shades of turquoise, blue and violet. The trees were so tall they stretched *into* the sky...as in you could not tell where the trees ended and where the sky began, and they were all around...trees as far as the eye could see in all directions. Then we came to this clearing...and well... up in the trees there were Elves playing harps...

"Elves?!" Relm exclaimed with a skeptical face,

"yeah Elves" I replied "I don't know what else to call them". "They were tall and had long elegant fingers and their features were very refined and chiseled with high cheekbones, slanted eyes, long pointed noses and chins, and pointed ears. Their hair ranged from blonde to red to brown to black, I couldn't make out their eye colors clearly but they were all either kind of greenish or blueish, and again I have no idea why I remember this so clearly" I explained.

"...alright, continue" Relm replied with curiosity and wonder,

I continued again...

She lead me past the harp-playing Elves and into the clearing, and there was a campfire surrounded by howling wolves. She instructed me to sit down and stare into the fire. I sat down and gazed into the fire...and I saw these little faeries inside the flames dancing, and their dance entranced me...I couldn't look away, then, it was like the whole world was spinning, and spinning fast. I had the same sensation from when I was lead to this place, with the tunnel vision and everything...and I saw myself only years older at the same spot where I was abandoned...and I was sleeping by a campfire. I got closer and closer to myself...until I was myself, I was who I saw sitting at that campfire and everything was gone...the Angel, the Elves, the forest, everything. I inexplicably now had the know-how to survive on my own, I knew how to hunt, how to make a fire, where to find shelter, how to get water, everything I needed to know, and It was only three years later that Sabin and Cyan found me there...living like a monster in the wilds.

"...and that’s pretty much everything" I finished and Relm looked back at me with a kinked head and a strange expression "now before you judge this, remember that I have absolutely no reason to lie or make this up, and that it's as strange for me as it is for you...if not stranger since I experienced it...and you wanted to know how I survived as an infant and so this is what I recall...now you can see why I never told anyone" I explained.

"I have no reason not to trust you Gau...and well...as strange as it may sound if you're telling me angels, elves and enchanted forests...then I believe you" Relm replied with a smile "and...I want to paint what you experienced" she continued "it sounds so fantastic and vivid that I feel like I just 'have' too". I smiled and reached out to hug her which she eagerly accepted, "wait right here love" Relm said as she backed up and ran up the stairs, then shortly returned with her sketchpad and pencils "okay, now...describe to me in detail as much as you can, I want to sketch them down so I have a point of reference to paint from" I shrugged and began describing the finer details of what I experienced for her to draw...

Chapter 8: Grey pt.II

I wandered stiffly into the graveyard, drawn by her...by her scent, by her being, by her voice...I heard it, the infernal whispering...it whispered her name 'Melinda'. I followed it without following anything in particular, I knew...I just knew. Her sweet voice, her embrace...her being, I knew it, she was here...I followed the knowing without knowing...until I had found it. The tombstone read 'here lies Melinda Gabrielle Magus Arrowny, she gave her life so that young Relm may live' I looked down as the dirt beneath my feet separated thus revealing her coffin, I splintered it, rending it's cover asunder...and there she laid...as beautiful as the day I met her. Her loving eyes opened 'come to me Clyde...' her seductive voice whispered, I reached down grasping her form to pull her to me, but she crumbled to dust in my arms...and I was alone...in the black. Suddenly, I felt writing beneath my feet...I was standing in snakes, sinking...the vile serpents grasped my limbs and were dragging me down, down, down into the ground until I was submerged in their loathsome embrace.

I awoke from the dream suddenly 'and thankfully'. Melinda was one of the many demons taken refuge in my sub-conscious...but my dreams involving her were always more terrifying then any others 'with the notable exception of that one were I was Kefka...I still can't get it entirely out of my mind' even still I could hear a barely audible whisper in the back of my mind...'Melinda'. I sat up still weary but resigned to the reality that sleep is no longer an escape for one such as I. I took my daily cold shower, and put my clothes back on...a faded blue shirt, grey trousers, brown boots with white socks, and a brown trenchcoat. I looked out the window, it was mid-afternoon and the greyest day I had ever seen...there was a foggy mist descending on the moistened ground, clouds covering the entire sky, no sun...the kind of day that makes one think of cutting them self just to see a color other then grey.

It was on a day like this when Melinda found me drunk, sick and shaking with drug withdrawal. She lifted me with her mesmeric sway and lead me to her father's house...the man who is to be buried today. He gave me a home and I left him with a daughter to bury, and a grand daughter to raise...bet Strago didn't see that one coming, because I sure as fuck didn't. Locke couldn't even begin to fathom the depths of 'my' pain, his is mere child’s play by comparison...there was no 'Celes' for Clyde, no fucking preserved bodies, no fucking closure, no fucking Phoenix, NO FUCKING LAST GOODBYE! JUST FUCKING DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! AND NOTHING BUT DEATH!

With decades of trained practice I instantly wiped the intense emotions of rage from the palette of my mind along with their associated memories, perhaps all this repressing is beginning to take it's toll on my sanity and otherwise psychological wellbeing...but it's the only path I know. I exited my room and proceeded down the stairs to find an empty lobby, then proceeded out the exit to find Cyan, Edgar, Sabin and Terra. Cyan approached "Sir Strago's funeral ist' scheduled to begin in three hours" I nodded, he bowed, turned around and returned to Edgar's side. The undertaker was probably putting the finishing touches on his corpse about now, I always found it amusing how a corpse was cleaned, made-up, dressed and pampered before burial...there’s a certain irony and even phoniness about it.

I suddenly espied Terra stare daggers at Sabin, who sighed then approached me,

"Shadow...I'm sorry I flew off the handle like that yesterday, I had no right to punch you in the face and least of all make threats on your life" Sabin extended his hand and I gave him an odd look. I looked over to the side around Sabin and saw Terra espying with these pleading eyes, I sighed and extended my hand to shake his. Sabin pulled me forward and gave me a hug "I always considered you a friend man, you saved my life way back when I got stranded",

"...let go of me" I replied coldly and he complied. I gave him a look that said 'I'm going to kill you' but I don't think it bothered him much.

"Gau and Relm are with Locke, Celes, Cid and Rachel at Strago's old house" Sabin imparted this information on me as if I was supposed to care, I shrugged and he frowned. "I thought you'd at least want to thank Gau for putting you up at the inn instead of letting you pass out in a gutter...and it was Relm who supplied the gil",

I laughed "a token gesture on her part" I replied "and I'll talk to Gau after the funeral, if at all" Sabin sighed and returned to the solace of his brother who shrugged.

I began walking away from them, to nowhere in particular, just to be alone...but I heard the footsteps of someone in high heels trailing behind me...obviously Terra. She persisted following me until I reached a secluded wooded area, stopped, then turned 'round,

"please stop following me" I stated plainly to which she paused then replied,

"...I can't" to which I kinked my head and replied,

"why not?",

"because your daughter...",

"what?, she took your son away from you?" I interrupted "get over it, he was never your son to begin with and you have dozens of orphaned children to mother back at Mobiliz not to mention a town to run" I concluded.

"It's not just that!...I...I don't want to return to Mobiliz alone, I don't want to be alone again!",

to this I laughed callously then replied "and just what does that have to do with me?",

"well...where are 'you' going after the funeral?" she asked,

"nowhere in particular, don't need a home...never did" I replied still maintaining my coldness, in truth I was thinking about killing myself soon after Strago was buried. "In any event get any thoughts you have of me going back to Mobiliz with you out of your head, it's not happening" I finished, to which Terra sighed,

"I figured as much..." she muttered somberly as she turned and walked back to town.

I slumped down onto the ground leaning against a tree, pleased to finally be alone. I began wondering again as to why I persist on living, what purpose am I truly serving now other then to confuse young women and consistently bemuse my daughter with my presence...I have no family to speak of, no one who gives a legitimate 'damn' about my life at all...why can't I just end it?! I was planning to right after the final battle, to hurl myself down a vast chasm and fall to my death...but something stopped me. The only unexpected happenchance was Strago forcing me to tell Relm I was her father and to reveal my past, it's the only un-accounted for variable...but why should that of changed anything?, What does that mean to me?.

I began to ponder this further until I espied something from the corner of my eye, I turned slowly with an exasperated sigh, expecting to see Terra...

But instead...I saw 'her'.

Her jade green eyes, her alabaster fair skin, her cute and gentle smidgen of freckles about the cheeks and around the nose, her dark red hair parted into two pigtails, her rounded face and aquiline jaw, her cute button nose...it was Melinda. She stood as plain as day before me in the very same spot where Terra had stood naught but five minutes ago, dressed in the same dusty brown work dress she wore when I first laid eyes on her. She was staring towards me with empty eyes full of longing, I closed my eyes refusing to believe what I saw was real...and sure enough, when I opened them she was gone.

I then realized it must be my mind playing tricks on me, Melinda was dead, I was there when she died, I witnessed Strago burying her for god's sake!...I still remember his words 'I'll never forgive you for this Clyde...' he always blamed me for her death...I still do.

I began the slow walk back to town, resigned to the reality that what I saw was evidence of my degenerating sanity...

.........

When you're the last of your species...well...life just plain 'sucks' and I suppose that’s the majority of the reason behind my rising level of pure apathy at everything. I don't much bother to keep the cave clean anymore...after all, I don't have that neat freak Kupop constantly harassing me about it. I don't bother grooming or washing my fur anymore, it's all long and shaggy with dead ends now, not to mention a dirty shade of tan from a lack of primping and whatnot. We Moogles used to trim our fur short when it got too long as the ends had a tendency to not stay white, not to mention it was rather unsanitary otherwise...but after seven years of solitude, I just don't care anymore. I'm a good nineteen years old by now so I don't have much longer on this earth...and my health hasn't been the best, I suppose I'm mostly to blame for that...but I honestly see no point in keeping healthy when you're the last Moogle on the planet. Umaro seems to deal with being the only Sasquatch on the planet quite well, but I suppose that’s quite easy when you're an imbecile that can keep yourself perpetually occupied with carving things.

Sometimes I'll go down into the mines to see what the lummox is up to every now and again...he's aged too, but not in the same way I have. Apparently he hadn't reached his full growth yet as a five year old and being twelve now he's about nine or ten feet tall...and he doesn't show any signs of stopping any time soon. His carvings have been getting more and more intricate and he's been incorporating more things then just bone, he's worked out this relationship with the humans of Narshe where he helps with things like mining and construction in return for stuff like new chisels , blocks of stone, paints and other things he uses in his carvings. I received word earlier that Strago passed, that’s a shame.

I reached over to my side to gasp my walking stick with both hands, and with it's help managed to rise out of the pile of filth I was lying in and get to my feet. I stood hunched over, bones aching and hobbled my way out the exit of my cave, there were miners outside working in the shafts...now that the monsters have been cleared out mining operations in Narshe have resumed as per normal. I looked out over the workers, and sure enough, that big ape Umaro was hauling the ore back to town in a colossal sack, it was actually more efficient as the lummox could carry more ore then they could practically fit in a cart, and carry it faster then the workers could push the carts.

I braced myself on my walking stick and leaned against the wall waiting for Umaro to return…

……

We were gathered outside the General Leo chapel somberly waiting for the Paul Bearers to carry out Strago’s coffin and then into the graveyard, I was feeling sad and almost on the verge of crying…but Gau was here by my side comforting me. Everyone was here, even my father…as much as I find myself disliking him, it’s admirable that he showed up, and even more-so that he’s stuck it out so far. Maybe I’ve been wrong all these years, maybe I shouldn’t be such a bitch to him…I don’t know, I can’t think straight right now, I’ll wait to see how I feel in a few days I guess. Everyone was silent, and the sky was so grey, the kind of grey that’s more dismal and drearier then the blackest of black voids. The arched doors to the chapel opened slowly with an eerie creaking and out came the Paul Bearers, four of them, heads bowed solemnly and faced plastered with blank, grim expressions…they were certainly aware of the bleak nature of their work.

The Paul Bearers slowly walked towards their destination and we followed, it seemed like forever until we got to the graveyard. Once there the Paul Bearers laid the coffin on a lift positioned over the grave intended for Strago. The village Elder stood at the front of the casket and surveyed us, we were all here, the party ‘my father included’, the villagers of Thamasa, everyone. He began his speech but I didn’t catch most of it as I had begun to cry, I buried my face into Gau’s side and let loose tears of grief and suffering, he cradled me in his arms and bowed his head…he must’ve been crying too as I could feel tears streaming down from above and into my hair. I cried, and cried and cried I could barely hear a word the Elder was saying…but then suddenly something he said caught my ear,

“if any have words to speak on behalf of the departed, then please approach the pulpit”.

I heard footsteps on the wet ground moving towards the pulpit and with teary eyes I glanced to see who it was and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I wiped my eyes clear to make sure I wasn’t mistaken but sure enough I saw the very same thing…my father was approaching the pulpit. We gawked in surprise as this was insanely out of character for him, and he gawked back with an expression that could only be described as ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this’. He inhaled a deep breath and began…

“Strago was a great man, many things to many people. To some he was a friend, others…a father, and still others he was a companion, but to me...he was a godsend. There never was, nor will there ever be a man I am more grateful towards. When I arrived in Thamasa the first thing I did was knock his daughter up, from the start I was nothing but a headache for him. Nevertheless, he took me into his home and treated me as his own… even after his daughter died delivering mine. When I chose to leave, he took care of Relm better then I could of ever hoped to, simply put…this man did everything for me and I was nothing but a burden on him, and for that…I am eternally sorry. Rest in peace Strago Magus, you will be deeply missed...I wish I could of shown my appreciation while you were still alive, but now...it's too late...again, I am sorry”

I could scarcely believe what I just heard, I don’t think anyone could…we all just stared aghast and my father returned the stare with one of his own…a stare of disbelief and astonishment, likely at what he had just done.

The silence lasted for a few seconds before Cyan stepped forward and started a slow clap, Terra shortly joined, then Gau then myself then Sabin and soon everyone was applauding my father, and I don’t think he quite knew what to make of it…in fact neither did I.

“Th…thank you” he stammered out before walking back to the group, and I suddenly knew what Strago meant by his last words,

“…Relm…tell…tell Clyde that…I forgive him”

I had thought he was just babbling in a delirium at the time. Summoning up my courage I approached my father,

“dad…there’s something I need to tell you” he looked down at me with a strange expression of mixed exhaustion and puzzlement,

“right before he died, Strago said he forgave you”

Clyde let out a sigh, and nodded.

We all gazed down into the chasm beneath us as the Paul Bearers turned the crank and lowered the casket down into the grave…


This post has been edited by Manoftyr on 10th September 2006 23:19

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Post #130510
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Posted: 10th September 2006 23:23

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Chocobo Knight
Posts: 99

Joined: 27/5/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. 
Alright!, there...it took me a couple hours of editing but I've cleaned the posts up a bit to be more reader friendly as well as spaced out the dialogue for easier reading. Thank you all for your support in my writing and I will return some day in the not to distant future to continue my work on it and begin my second saga of the fanfic.

I'd appreciate it if the mods could delete my earlier postings and leave only the proofread, touched up, and edited copies I posted and messed with today.

I would also like very much to see the first saga of my fanfic posted up on the mainpage, but I understand if it's too *pg-13* for that, and if thats the case I understand entirely.

Again, thank you everyone, and I shall return to continue some day...possibly after I'm done with my first semester of college =p

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Post #130554
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Posted: 14th October 2006 02:42

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Chocobo Knight
Posts: 99

Joined: 27/5/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. 
Hey everyone, I know it's been awhile but real life and college have gotten in the way of me starting the second saga of The Spinning Wheel, but worry not as I have been working on it and in fact have a bit of a teaser lined up for you, the introduction...so without further adue.

The Spinning Wheel of Fate II

Introduction-

The funeral passed smoothly enough and proceeding it’s conclusion we all more or less went our separate ways. As far as I know Gau is staying with Relm in Strago’s old house, Edgar and Cyan hitched a ride with Setzer along with Celes, Locke, Rachel and Cid ‘apparently the airship is plenty safe when it’s more then just the two of them…gee I wonder why?’ who’ll be dropping each party off at Figaro Castle, Kohlingen, and the Solitary Island respectively; Sabin and Terra however deigned to remain here in Thamasa a bit longer before returning. Right now I’m sitting alone here in my room at the inn with a hangman’s noose and a bottle of vintage red wine I had been saving for the occasion. There are just far too many things I can’t forgive myself for and I have nothing left to accomplish, I’ve come as close as I’m ever going to towards making peace with my daughter and said what needed to be said about Strago…there’s nothing left for me here. I took a sip from my glass and began the outline for my suicide note…

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Post #132497
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Posted: 23rd October 2006 00:20

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Black Mage
Posts: 167

Joined: 15/6/2006

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Wow,man. I think this is great!

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I'm finally back, everyone! It's been months, maybe even a year since I last visited this website!
Post #133220
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Posted: 23rd October 2006 17:53
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Chocobo Knight
Posts: 141

Joined: 19/10/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. 
this is okay but only okay. the characters arent very good and neither is the dialogue.

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moetsuki
moetsuki
motoranai yakusoku no basho
jouzu ni habataku watashi wo mitsumete
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