CoN 25th Anniversary: 1997-2022
Final Fantasy VI-VII fanfic - "A night on the town

Posted: 13th January 2009 11:06

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Posts: 8

Joined: 7/1/2009


Here is my second contribution to you all, a comedy fanfic featuring heros from FFVI an FFVII, enjoy, the stories in 3 chapters so apologies for the double posting in advance.

Night on the town

Chapter 1: The meeting

*The Falcon is casually travelling the skies on a very pleasant day, however inside Terra’s quarters there seems to be a little….disturbance*

Terra: What??? What in the world is this? How can anyone wear this?

*She is dressed in a purple gown as if she was going to a ball*

Celes: But Terra everyone’s getting ready
Terra: I don’t care! I look hideous
Celes: Oh come on, you look as good as me now *she grins*

*Celes is dressed in her Maria, opera gown*

Terra: I don’t know how you can stand wearing that…
Celes: You would prefer to wear your red skimpy dress?
Terra: It’s not skimpy, it’s my favourite outfit!
Celes: It needed a wash anyways, besides hurry up everyone’s waiting *proceeds to leave Terra’s quarters*
Terra: Still looks ugly….

****

*Elsewhere on the Highwind……*

Barret: C’mon Cloud, there’s gotta be someone…
Cloud: No, not really…
Barret: Not even Tifa? Or Aeris?
Cloud: Aeris? What’s she doing here?

*Looks over his shoulder to see the Cetra wave and smile*

Aeris: It’s a fanfic and I can appear if I want to
Sephiroth: So can I!
All: SEPHIROTH!!!???
Sephiroth: The one and only
Cloud: But how can you be here?
Sephiroth: Because I can, got a problem with that?
Cloud: *sulks* No I guess not
Sephiroth: Good boy *grins* soon you’ll be all mine mwahaha
Jenova: Sephi! Stop daydreaming!
Sephiroth: *frowns* Yes mother…

****

*back on the Falcon all of the boys are wearing tuxedos, Edgar looking particularly pleased*

Edgar: Ah tis a good day for a party, especially at Figaro castle
Sabin: That’s only because it’s the ONLY castle available
Edgar: Exactly! Everyone can enjoy Figaro’s splendour

*Sabin face palms*

Sabin: And I suppose you’re going to try and womanise our female guests too?
Edgar: But of course, it’s what a bachelor does
Sabin: ….
Cyan: I for one think art thou splendous
Edgar: Least someone thinks so…

*Terra appears still wearing her gown, the king is obviously head over heels, the green haired esper sweatdrops*

Terra: Oh get over yourself Edgar…
Edgar: Damn shot down again
Cyan: Lady Terra, thou look beautiful
Terra: Thanks Cyan, I appreciate that.

*Celes was busy hugging Locke who was equally going all googly eyed on Celes, the others just frowned as they watched*

Setzer: Heads up people! Figaro castle dead ahead, and it seems our guests are already waiting
Edgar: Wow what an airship
Terra: I’ll say…makes ours look ridiculous….
Setzer: *angry* Hey!! Take that back, the Falcon’s just as good
Sabin: Just land the damn ship already; we’ll have plenty of time to argue later.

****

*Clouds party was already waiting at the castle gate…seems they have been waiting for hours*

Cloud: I told you we were early…
Tifa: Better early than late, and that’s your specialty Cloud
Cloud: Don’t start…

*Aeris tugs on Cloud’s right arm*

Aeris: You’re spending the night with me aren’t you?
Tifa: NO! he’s with me! *starts tugging on his left arm*
Aeris: No, ME!!
Tifa: No, ME!!!!
Cloud: Ladies, stop! *fights them off* I’m going with neither of you…I’m going alone
Tifa and Aeris: You can’t do that!
Cloud: I just did….

*the two girls look dumbstruck for a moment, then begin cat fighting*

Cid: Catfight woo!!!
Aeris and Tifa: Stay out of this!

*Cid sulks and Barret laughs while Cloud looks up*

Cloud: Looks like our hosts have arrived


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Terra is my favourite character nuff said.
Post #174752
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Posted: 13th January 2009 11:06

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Returner
Posts: 8

Joined: 7/1/2009


Chapter 2: The games afoot

*The two parties are now gathered in castle Figaro’s newly constructed gigantic ballroom where there are food and drink aplenty, and the various cast talking to each other*

Cloud: So….who are you again?
Edgar: Edgar Roni Figaro, king of Figaro…
Sabin: …And a womanising bachelor to boot
Edgar: SABIN! This is Sabin Rene Figaro, my twin brother

*Cloud nodded and looked over in Terra’s direction raising an eyebrow and felt an odd feeling from her*

Cloud: And she is?
Edgar: That’s Terra Branford; she’s a half human half esper hybrid
Cloud: Esper? What the hecks an Esper?
Sabin: It’s a creature born of powerful magic, apparently her dad was one

*Terra seemed to sneeze bizarrely and Celes looked at her oddly*

Celes: You alright Terra?
Terra: Yeah, isn’t it odd? It felt like someone was talking about me

****

*Elsewhere slightly removed from the rest and because this is a fanfic the sudden transference of a certain individual…was plotting*

Sephiroth: Soon, soon Cloud you will be mine all mine mwahahahaha, and there is no one that can stop me!
Kefka: Oh get over yourself mamma’s boy
Sephiroth: Watch your tongue clown!
Kefka: Or else you’ll do what?
Sephiroth: I’ll slice you into pieces
Kefka: Uwehehehehe you couldn’t slice your way out of a paper bag. At least I accomplished what you couldn’t I destroyed the world.

*Sephiroth was silent, unbelievably*

Sephiroth: …..Can’t argue with you there, you have a point.
Kefka: Good boy.
Jenova: Gosh Terra’s such a hottie; she makes my tentacles tremble…

*Kefka and Sephiroth both sweat drop as they hear her comment*

Sephiroth: *Face palming* Oh Mother….

****

*Meanwhile back at the party, King Edgar was once more hitting on the girls but this time, this girl had plans of her own, his plans backfired*

Yuffie: Come on king big shot, where’s your riches?
Edgar: Err excuse me?
Yuffie: You heard me, where are your riches?
Edgar: Locke is this a friend of yours? She seems to have your thiev….err treasure hunting tendencies.

*Locke looked over and shrugged*

Locke: Nope never met her, looks like a ninja though, relative of yours Shadow?
Shadow: ……No comment…
Edgar: Goddesses be damned! I wanted a girl not some thief!
Yuffie: Oi! I’m no thief, CLOUD tell him!!

*Cloud was busy staring at Terra, though the esper girl seems to be ignoring him*

Cloud: huh? What? You’re a Materia thief, nuff said
Yuffie: Awww c’mon you spiky headed …..
Celes: Drinks are ready

*the congregation cheered as they all gathered for the refreshments*

Cid: About damned time woman, I was dying of thirst!
Celes: I beg your pardon? You are addressing a General of the Geshtalian Empire!
Terra: *frowning* Make that former general dear
Celes: *sweat dropping* Ah ha….yes I stand corrected, thank you dear Terra, FORMER general
Cid: Do I look like someone that gives a damn? I was a %#$*ing pioneer of the Shin-ra’s space exploration plan, where did that get me? Shit that’s what!
Tifa: Cid, please calm down in front of our guests

*Cid grumbled some more as he grabbed his drink and sat down*

Tifa: Sorry about that miss?
Celes: Celes Chere, former general of the empire. And you are?
Tifa: Tifa Lockheart, barkeep at the 7th heaven
Celes: It’s nice to meet you; I wonder how Edgar managed to send the invites? *she scratched her head as she pondered*
Tifa: Oh….well we only received them a few weeks ago
Celes: That would probably explain it…

****

Sephiroth: Mwahaha my plans working perfectly!
Kefka: *sneering* You mean MY plan?
Sephiroth: Your plan? It was MY plan!!
Jenova: Both of you! Enough! I just want to get going already, my true love cannot wait forever, wait for me Terra darling I am coming for you!
Sephiroth: But mother!
Jenova: But nothing! At least consider my feelings and what I want for a change.
Sephiroth: But, But I always have your best interests in mind mother
Jenova: Oh don’t give me that balarmy; I didn’t make you summon a stupid meteor. That was YOUR doing, not mine
Sephiroth: But….
Jenova: ENOUGH! I have spoken!
Sephiroth: *head down looking sheepish* Yes mother….
Kefka: Uwehehehehe Mama’s boy

*the 3 villains proceed to make their way out of their secret hiding place, alright it was a small cave in a mountain alright?*


****

*Once more at the ballroom and the congregation, both parties are sitting at a large dining table*

Edgar: I’d like to propose a toast, to the greatest collection of heroes ever gathered
Sabin: Hear, hear
Cloud: Whatever *he still had his eyes on Terra, which she finally noticed*
Terra: What’s your problem?
Cloud: I couldn’t get over how beautiful you look
Tifa: EXCUSE ME?!
Aeris: What was that??!!
Terra: *frowning* Oh boy…

*Terra looked away as the other two girls were staring daggers at Cloud*

Barret: *Looking to Cid* How come he gets all the girls?
Cid: *%#~$ if I know, damned spiky headed jerk.
Cloud: But…but Terra, your green hair’s captivated my heart, your eyes a never ending sea of love.
Celes: What the hell? Edgar, this guy’s starting to sound like you
Edgar: I really sound like that? *looking shocked*
Locke: Well duh
Terra: Look, I don’t know what you want but I’m not interested
Cloud: But Terra, don’t shun my heart away, don’t lock me out
Tifa: Cloud!!! Get a hold of yourself
Aeris: He’s mine you flea bitten floozy
Tifa: What did you call me?

*Aeris and Tifa start fighting again as Cloud makes advances towards Terra, Shadow sweat drops as he eats his steak*

Shadow: Is everyone here a weirdo but me?
Sabin: Look who’s talking? Coming from a guy that dresses in black
Shadow: …..No comment….

*food starts to fly as the girls really start to lay into each other, Edgar, Barret, Locke and Celes try to break up the fight*

Barret: Tifa! Calm yourself down woman, Cloud’s not worth this
Edgar: I’d do as he says after all a pretty woman like yourself should not be fighting
Sabin: I dunno bro she looks like a good fighter to me, well only second to me of course
Edgar: *turns to Aeris* And you, a fine vision of loveliness in your own right shouldn’t be having to get her looks ruined
Locke: Edgar, you’re impossible!! Can you like not think about womanising for just one moment!
Terra: Will you get away from me!

*suddenly the doors of the ballroom fly open which makes all the current activity stop, as they all gaze towards the doorway, 3 figures casually stroll in, It was Sephiroth, Kefka and Jenova*

Kefka: Hi honey, I’m home!

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Terra is my favourite character nuff said.
Post #174753
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Posted: 13th January 2009 11:07

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Returner
Posts: 8

Joined: 7/1/2009


Chapter 3: The conclusion

*so the situation looks like this, a entourage of heroes squaring up against 3 of their greatest villains in their lives, who knows what will happen?*

Edgar: Who invited these guys?
Sephiroth: WE invited ourselves
Cloud: Aren’t you dead?
Sephiroth: Of course not, my heart, I will always live for your love
Cloud: ???? What the hell?
Aeris and Tifa: What???!!!
Terra: Finally, gets him off my back….

*Terra inadvertedly bumps into Jenova*

Jenova: Ahhh beautiful girl, I can’t wait to get my tentacles around you
Terra: Ewwwww You sound like Ultros
Ultros: Don’t include me in this!

*All look to see the purple octopus appear seemingly out of no-where*

All: We didn’t
Ultros: Fine, spoil sports

*Ultros promptly disappears*

Jenova: Now…where were we?
Terra: What’s with you people?
Cloud: Sephiroth. Get…get away from me
Sephiroth: Oh come on Cloudy woudy, you can’t keep your love from me any longer
Cloud: What the fu….Sephiroth! I’m not gay
Kefka: *Glares at Jenova* What are you doing?
Jenova: Proclaiming my love to the star of my sky, Terra
Edgar: What the hells going on here?
Sabin: Damned if I know….hey you fighter girl
Tifa: *turns to look at Sabin, a look of disgust on her face from what Sephiroth’s doing* What?
Sabin: Fancy a spar? You look particularly strong
Tifa: Hmmm to spar with someone that looks like a bodybuilder that’s strayed from his gym….oh what the heck.

*The two of them walk outside to commence their spar, fists, blitzes and god knows what else start up*

Edgar: *watches Celes and Locke promptly leave the room* But? What about me?
Yuffie: You still have me, you blockhead
Edgar: What? Nooooooo! Setzer save me!
Setzer: *Who was now busy with Cid, gambling and such* Leave me be, I’m busy
Cid: Yeah take a hike

*And thus Yuffie inexplicably linked her arm with Edgar and proceeds to drag him elsewhere*

Yuffie: Now to show me your riches

*Aeris and Barret began to casually chat to each other, about Marlene and such, ironically making them the only two normal members of their parties, Shadow has such disappeared muttering something along the lines of “Too much insanity, I’m outta here” which leaves us with the 5 some of Cloud, Terra, Kefka, Sephiroth and Jenova*

Cloud: Lets get this straight Sephiroth, I do not like you, I do not respect you and I sure as hell don’t love you, I love her over there, the one with the green hair
Sephiroth: You liar, when will you learn you can’t lie to me?

*Jenova had Terra within her….tentaclely clutches by now*

Jenova: Now Terra my love don’t struggle, I just want to love you
Terra: *disgusted* Look, I’m not some hentai bimbo that gets off on tentacle monsters
Jenova: I’m not a monster!!
Kefka: Yeesh you people are crazier than I am, and people know me as being goofier than a pet coon. So yeah I’m outta here
Sephiroth: Oh no you don’t Clown!
Kefka: Habba wha? *turns to face Sephiroth who seems to have lost interest with Cloud*
Sephiroth: If I can’t have Cloud, I’m going to have the next best thing.

*Kefka starts to run for his life as Sephiroth begins chase*

Kefka: Son of a submariner! *points to Terra and Cloud* You won’t get away with this!!
Sephiroth: Get back here!
Kefka: Get away from me momma’s boy!

*speaking of mothers….Terra being the kind hearted soul that she is, decides to feel sorry for the alien*

Terra: I….I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I know what it’s like being called a monster myself
Jenova: That’s ok dear; I got to be with you at least
Cloud: What about me?

*Terra looked to Cloud with a sparkle in her eyes*

Terra: I have a great idea, why don’t you share me? I seem to like both of you now
Jenova: Oh joyous day!! You have made me so happy Terra my love
Cloud: You like me? You really like me?
Terra: *nods* Of course, come here you two snuggle pumpkins

*Terra grabs both of them lovingly as Jenova gets her tentacles all over Terra that…..ok I’m not going into detail here, let’s just say they all lived happily ever after, well not all. Poor Edgar was stuck with Yuffie*

The end

This post has been edited by Terra-Fan on 13th January 2009 11:37

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Terra is my favourite character nuff said.
Post #174754
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Posted: 14th January 2009 01:25

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Magitek Soldier
Posts: 337

Joined: 24/5/2006

Awards:
Member of more than ten years. Member of more than five years. Third place in the 2008 Fanfiction contest. 
Well...............It was interesting.

Not anything what I expected, and you managed to make about five minutes pass for me

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Kefka's Message of the week: Get off your couch noobs and get my new game Dissidia 012
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